DO you still get jealous ???

[amerasianlove 0]

100% of us here are engaged and some are married,Just wondering if you still get "jealous"sometimes when you talk /discuss about with your partner's ex's.

How do u handle it?or is it ok with you if your fiance/spouse to be friends with their ex????

Edited March 24, 2008 by mayumi_anthony

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I would get jealous over a stranger on the street smiling at my girl before her former husband! Her former husband is just that former.

[*JG* 2]

Nope. Neither of us are the jealous type.

[*julez* 124]

Nah. Why would I? She's the ex, not me!

[Jaseball 0]

1) You shouldn't be discussing ex's or the past sexual, relationship, etc., history on either side because nothing good ever comes from that sort of topic.

2) Being jealous is highly unattractive. Taking someone else's innocent flirting, compliments, etc., about your girl or guy as them saying you have excellent taste. The fact of the matter is if your partner is unfaithful, loves to flirt, loves the attention, etc., there are all sorts of things you can say or do, but jealousy just drives folks away.

Besides, if someone wants to stray, they are going to stray.

[Jaseball 0]

As far as the being friends with ex's part though, I personally believe that is a general relationship warning flag. If your partner is still devoting time, remembering anniversaries, or doing stuff on a regular basis with ex's, then that is a major problem.

Once I had a girl I was heads over heels for. One of her proudest traits she told me was ending on good terms with all her ex's. In fact, when we hooked up and started being a couple I went to visit and she took me to a poker game with her most recent ex and his friends.

So, I'm sitting there drinking beer, making small talk, surrounded by like 6 guys who gave me hard looks, and actually winning that night and taking their money.

I remember sitting there thinking, "Man this is horrible. Doesn't my girl see this guy still has feelings for her and obviously he thinks being a nice guy is the right way to go?"

Imagine being that guy. Watching a girl you still had feelings for with the next guy, whom is probably going to take her home and do whatever as soon as the game was over.

I promised myself if we ever broke up I would not be that poor guy and I also told myself that future girlfriends who kept ex's on a leash were trouble and seriously messed in the head.

Well, fast forward two years and me and this girl break up. About a year later she wants to catch up, go out to lunch, and talk because I was the only ex who never contacted her again once it was over. However, she wanted to have lunch with me, her, and the new guy. Needless to say I laughed it off, told her to have a good life, and that was that.

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

100% of us here are engaged and some are married,Just wondering if you still get "jealous"sometimes when you talk /discuss about with your partner's ex's.

How do u handle it?or is it ok with you if your fiance/spouse to be friends with their ex????

when we first starting doing the long distance thing, there was definitely some jealousy issues between us...it was kind of hard going from seeing eachother every single day and nite, to all of a sudden not seeing eachother for months at a time...the relationship was new (about 3 months), so the trust had not been fully built yet...nowadays, we are MUCH better about all of this, and our trust has steadily built over time (its now been almost 2 years)...as a result, we hardly ever fight now while we are apart...it really makes me realize just how much time we were fighting over and over about the same issue

i am sooooo glad we are past that

to answer the question, if adriano wanted to be friends with his ex, i dont think i would be cool with it, but if i met her and realized that she was OK and there was nothing more than friendship there, i might consider it

[psiprez 3]

I'm not jealous AT ALL about whoever or whatever is in his past. As far as I'm concerned, I have no right to comment on anything that happened before we met. (AFTER we met is a whole other story!!)

In fact I WANT to hear about his ex's and his past. Why am I interested? Because that is part of what has made him who he is today.

But only if he is comfortable sharing. Otherwise, I'm fine with not knowing.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

My feelings too! My fiancée told me everything and so did I. We both needed to know how we both got to where we are today.

I'm not jealous AT ALL about whoever or whatever is in his past. As far as I'm concerned, I have no right to comment on anything that happened before we met. (AFTER we met is a whole other story!!)

In fact I WANT to hear about his ex's and his past. Why am I interested? Because that is part of what has made him who he is today.

But only if he is comfortable sharing. Otherwise, I'm fine with not knowing.

[KimandRuss 0]

I agree with you folks. Total honesty and open conversation is the way to the healthiest of relationships with anybody.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

A long distance relationship involves a lot of mutual trust, so being jealous over a former boyfriend/girlfriend is really just pointless. If they want to be unfaithful, they have a hell of a lot of opportunities to do so. If you are taking the necessary steps to obtain a visa with your fiancee, you must be able to trust him/her completely. If you can't, you really shouldn't be going through this whole process, in my opinion.

[Jaseball 0]

A long distance relationship involves a lot of mutual trust, so being jealous over a former boyfriend/girlfriend is really just pointless. If they want to be unfaithful, they have a hell of a lot of opportunities to do so. If you are taking the necessary steps to obtain a visa with your fiancee, you must be able to trust him/her completely. If you can't, you really shouldn't be going through this whole process, in my opinion.

Totally true about the unfaithful part in a LDR. Must have enough trust and believe it is not even a factor in your relationship.

The visa and trusting completely is a bit different. I've been burned enough to know blind trust and being 100% infatuated or smitten is a big danger area. I wouldn't go through with the engagement, LDR, visa process, or contemplate a life together if I were not 90%+ sure we were compatible and 90%+ trusting, but my eyes are wide open.

Seen far, far too many situations with two people who seemed to be great together, only to have one get devastated because they were fooled, cheated on, etc. Several stories just from VJ in the past 8 months or so.

The strange thing is I don't get jealous and actively push for her to have her own life in China, have fun, and when she gets here I am going to do all I can to help her build a new social circle and support group.

I still believe constant contact with Ex's is a big problem. I have never had a desire to keep any sort of contact with an ex regardless of if they dumped me or I dumped them first.

[Jeraly 4]

I used to get really jealous but I quickly learned that when you live so far apart it can only do you harm

I get jealous of people around Jeremy purely because they can be around him when I can't As for if I think he is going to run off with someone else? Nah - I am confident in his love for me I've never been able to say that about anyone else before

[SnowyTater 0]

We met when we were fourteen, neither one of us have a past

"WHAT, you had a crush in kindergarten, huh? I'll show her!!!"

[Mina76 0]

No need to be jealous of any of his ex's because I am the one that he has been with and known the longest and the one he married!