MENA-One Visa Journey For the Book

[KEK 0]

Olivia,

You don't sound like a bigot at all. You just have spent too many lonely nights with too much time to think and analyze all of the possibilities. You are just worried, not prejudiced. If you were a bigot, you would not have married someone from Egypt in the first place. I think in time you will feel more trusting. I am wondering how long you knew your husband before you married?

I understand how hard and painful it can be, and all the doubts and uncertainties. But I always felt able to hold onto the faith I had in me and him being together. I always told myself that if my love with my husband wasn't real, how could I stand to wait this long for something that wasn't that strong? I don't feel like I'm a person with great will power, but I think I was able to hold on bec. I felt inside there was something WORTH holding on to. Only YOU can know what you have with your husband, and you should not let anyone else inject bad ideas into your head, but just use your own judgement based on what you know about your husband and your relationship with him.

My husband also used to get very quiet when we had arguments and it would be very worrisome to me. Until I learned this was his style and that it was from the way he grew up in a chaotic household. He does not like confrontation, whereas I think in American culture we like to get things out and in the open. Maybe this is your husband's style also to be quiet and avoid conflict, and you should ask him why he does not want to talk about certain things when you bring them up. I have had long conversations with my husband several times about the value of each of our styles of arguing, and we had to learn to compromise. You should try to bring it up gently with him, and be as non-confrontational as possible, as well as objective and not too emotional. Try to see if he will open up a little...

Your post was very beautiful and you described the feelings that we are all going through so well. Maybe one day we should all try to write a manual on being married to a MENA man

I think the attitude you should have it what another member posted - just go for what your heart tells you, so you will fee that you have "loved,you lived...you tasted life..." And in the end you will have lived fully and not based on your fear, and that is worth any pain and suffering you might have (as well as all the good and happy results in your life). Even my lawyer tried to warn me not do the K3 instead of the CR-1, so I wouldn't have to sign the affidavit of support until I lived with my husband for awhile. And this really did scare me, and I had to stop and think what I should do. And finally I knew the only right thing - to live based on what my heart says and not a desire to be secure financially or to manage my life based on the fear of what COULD go wrong. It felt so right to just dive in and take the chance....

You said - "That we’re both growing and maturing during this time apart and maybe we need this time to do that and finish up some personal growth before we’re able to be together having that mature married life and family. We just have a year left. May 2009 I graduate college and he is supposed to for sure be out of the Egyptian military." --This sounds sooo much like me and my husband a year ago, when I was getting ready to graduate from school, and he was still finishing his job contract. Now we are getting ready to be together in a few months, and he just received his visa a week ago. What we waited for all this time (and thought so often would never happen), is happening.

And you are right, this time is growing time and although it hurts, it will not be wasted, as long as you can hold on and keep hope. This site is also so helpful to get through the process and share experiences. I hope you will feel peace inside and keep growing personally and in the relationship you have with your husband.

KEKhan

[*Maureen* 0]

Olivia, you're a wonderful woman!

[Imua 0]

I dont really have much to add except KEKhan made an excellent point about needing to understand your husband's communication/argument style - I can relate to this. Most Nepalis are on the surface very calm, non-confrontational(except when their political rights are violated...), and on a deeper level maybe seem to hold too much in rather than the American 'let it all out' style - this is an adjustment process for me. His mellowness is one thing I love but like a lot of things there is good and bad to it..

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

I am thinking of ways I can get my teaching credential so that I could eventually teach at an international school in Nepal or some other country - this is a plan with or without Govinda in my life and has always been a dream of mine. I am trying to not let my whole world revolve around 'HIM'. Like Wahrania says travel, learn, enjoy life - go climb a mountain like I did 3 years ago... These things will all enrich your life both with and without him.

[aisha kandisha 0]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm still waiting for the quote from Condeleza Rice.

[Nagishkaw 510]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

Personally,.... no.

[jade2004 0]

Olivia....while I was reading your post I sooo identified with you....The thoughts, nervousness, everything has come and gone....Is he using me, does he really love me? Does this mean that we don't love with all of our heart? I am 100% positive that I would have the same issues whether it was a man here or any man for that matter. Being scared or having 2nd thoughts or concerns doesn't mean that it won't last either. I just would like to say you aren't alone honey and I will pray for you and for you to have peace in your heart and mind.

[morocco4ever 63]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

No, but on the other hand I am not on the brink of depression. And lets face it, depression makes a person irrational. It isn't okay to tell a person that to think their husband is a terrorist is okay, but it is okay to point out that her fears are based on her emotional state, and that she is a good person, and deserves to be helped through this.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?

Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

No, but on the other hand I am not on the brink of depression. And lets face it, depression makes a person irrational. It isn't okay to tell a person that to think their husband is a terrorist is okay, but it is okay to point out that her fears are based on her emotional state, and that she is a good person, and deserves to be helped through this.

I actually know a syrian who was married in syria and divorced his wife and got a b1 visa and married a girl here and the girl here (who speaks arabic)caught him talking back home to the ex saying he couldnt wait to leave his present wife and go back to her(this was an imam's brother)He now is married to an American non arab(took him marrying 2 times in the us so far cause the moroccan left him and pulled his papers.)The american refused to listen to anyone who warned her and shes still married to him.He's awaiting his citizenship papers now...Let s wonder what he will do when he gets them..LOL

[tenderheartusa79 14]

I'm still waiting for the quote from Condeleza Rice.

i really can not find it i wonder why

but i think there are so many people heard about that not just me

[morocco4ever 63]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?

Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?

Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

Because I believe he loves me.Because I think not everyone is the same.But its IRRESPONSIBLE not to discuss peoples concerns...

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=e...%258A%26hl%3Den

heres the website link in English about warning Americans marrying Egyptians

Washington warns its citizens living marriage, drinking water and microbus

CAIRO - Editor TOM - State Department warned American citizens from fraud on the Internet aimed to establish relations with the Americans and then marry them in order to immigrate to America.

وقد حذر التقرير الأمريكيين الذين يزورون مصر من مياه الشرب وأوضاع الصحة العامة والمرور المصري وسيارات "الميكروباص" نتيجة ارتفاع نسبة الحوادث بها. The report warned Americans who visit Egypt from drinking water and public health conditions and traffic Egyptian and cars "microbus" as a result of the high rate of accidents.

وذكرت الخارجية في تقريرها المختصر أنها تلقت تقارير تفيد زيادة المشاكل الناجمة عن عمليات زواج تمت بين مصريين وأمريكيين، وأنها رصدت "عديدا من حالات الإساءة ضد الزوج أو الزوجة الأمريكية، وغالبا ما ينتهي الزواج بالطلاق عندما يحصل المصري على البطاقة الخضراء (الجرين كارد) أو الجنسية الأمريكية". The Foreign Affairs in its brief that it had received reports of increasing problems arising from marriage between the Egyptian and American, and that it made "numerous cases of abuse against the husband or wife of America, and often ends marriage when divorce is happening Egyptian Green Card (Green Card) or nationality America."It warned foreign citizens from these relations, particularly those that arise on the Internet, said: "It is not surprising that the Egyptians to start marriage for the purpose of immigration. Relations are evolving on the Internet as a means of exploitation and manipulation in particular."

وقالت وكالة "امريكا ان ارابيك" نقلا عن تقرير الخارجية الأمريكية :"إن الحكومة المصرية تحث الأمريكيين ممن يقابلون مصريين على الإنترنت أو أثناء سياحتهم في البلد ، على التمهل في التعرف على هؤلاء قبل أن يفكروا في مسألة الزواج". The agency said "America that flag_fr.gif" the report quoted Foreign America: "The Egyptian government urges Americans Iqablon Egyptians on the Internet or during portal in the country, Amble in the identification of prior to think of the question of marriage."

وأضافت الخارجية في تقريرها، الذي نقلت بعض مصادره عن السفارة الأمريكية في القاهرة: "هذه الحالات تحدث بشكل أكيد في العلاقات المبنية على الاتصالات عبر الإنترنت والقليل من التفاعل وجها لوجه". The Foreign Affairs in its report, which quoted some confiscated from the American embassy in Cairo: "These cases occur in relations firm based on communication via the Internet and little interaction and face-to-face."

ولفتت الخارجية الأمريكي إلى عدم قانونية "زواج الغش" المتزايد، سواء من جانب الطرف الأمريكي أو المصري، وقالت: "إن الدخول في عقد زواج يرمي في الأصل لتسهيل الهجرة للولايات المتحدة هو أمر ضد القانون الأمريكي وقد ينتج عنه عقوبات تشمل الغرامة وسجن الطرف المصري أو الأمريكي". The dearth of State to the illegality of "marriage fraud" increased, either by the party or the Egyptian-American, said: "The entering into a marriage was originally designed to facilitate the migration to the United States is against American law may result in penalties including fines and imprisonment of Egyptian party or American. "

The report was launched strong criticism of the conditions of public health, said: "The whereabouts of the hospitals emergency or intensive care are limited in Egypt."

وعن المستشفيات في مصر، جاء في نص التقرير: "المستشفيات خارج القاهرة والإسكندرية وشرم الشيخ تقل كثيرا عن المستويات الأمريكية. ومعظم المراكب السياحية في نهر النيل ليس بها حتى طبيب، لكن بعضها يعين ممارسا عاما بدون مؤهلات محددة. والمستشفيات في الأقصر وأسوان غير كافية وغير مجهزة ولا يوجد حتى مستشفيات أو أماكن طبية في بعض الأماكن والمدن الأخرى". And hospitals in Egypt, stated in the text of the report: "hospital outside Cairo, Alexandria, Sharm el-Sheikh are far below the levels of America. Most tourist boats in the River Nile is not even a doctor, but some general practitioners appointed without specific qualifications. Hospitals in Luxor and Aswan inadequate and There is even equipped hospitals or medical places in some places and other cities. "

وعن المياه في مصر، قال التقرير: "مياه الصنابير في مصر غير صالحة للشرب. ومن الأفضل شرب المياه المعبأة أو مياه تم غليها وتنقيتها". And the water in Egypt, the report said: "Egypt in tap water unfit for drinking. Preferably drinking bottled water or water was boiling and purification."

And on the security situation in Egypt, the report advised Americans to exercise caution in some places in Egypt, especially tourism, in spite of the weakness of the violent tides that hit Egypt in the late eighties and nineties.

وكررت الخارجية نصائحها للأمريكيين إزاء المرور في مصر وفي شوارع القاهرة، خصوصا سيارات الركوب الجماعي المعروفة باسم الميكروباص. Foreign reiterated advice to the Americans about the traffic in Egypt and in the streets of Cairo, especially passenger cars collective known as the microbus.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing... There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?

Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

If she cannot talk here about her fears,where can she talk?