if your SO's visa was denied...

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Well, I guess I would still be living with him in Germany then. No big deal.

[almaty 19]

when sanita was given her 221 g with a recommendation for denial..we tlaked about it, but i could not speak russian, so it would not ahve been an option..

i decided to do something instead about the 221 g and did so, in less than a week, it was pulled and a visa granted...

[Niels Bohr 72]

I don't understand you second question.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

How can you put a country's boundary on love? Wait for the kids to grow up! They don't stay small and helpless forever. They will leave the nest and find their own other half. If this is truly the one you love, you overcome. I would have not proposed to my fiancée if I was not willing to do the exact same thing I am asking her to do, leave her country for me. Commitment has to be two-way for me.

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

[GabiandVi 34]

I live in a third country now, where we met and lived after our marriage and where my daughter has lived most of her short life.

Neither of us want to live in his country because we would have no privacy, but it would be great to live in Ghana so that we would be close enough to visit for the weekend, but far enough away so that we wouldn't have people waiting for us to wake up every morning to ask for some sort of favor.

[Zee Bee 61]

In a heartbeat. Once we both have dual citizenship (me Ghana, him USA) we will probably end up spending more of our time with our families in Ghana. If we were denied, we would just have to make those adjustments sooner.

[sereia 0]

How can you put a country's boundary on love? Wait for the kids to grow up! They don't stay small and helpless forever. They will leave the nest and find their own other half. If this is truly the one you love, you overcome. I would have not proposed to my fiancée if I was not willing to do the exact same thing I am asking her to do, leave her country for me. Commitment has to be two-way for me.

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

I guess I never said what I would do... I would go to Morocco OR a third country. I have a family I'd be sad to leave but I would do it none the less.

But your comments aren't really about me as I have no children. I am just curious why everyone is coming to America versus whatever country their SO is from. What held them back here? Etc. Although I do not have children, I can definitely see why someone would not want to leave them here. What if those kids were only a few years old? You're going to continue a long distance relationship thousands and thousands of miles away for another 16 years + until they leave your nest? It is just not realistic imo. Anyway... loving the answers!

Ps...AnewKINDofFEELIN thanks for the compliments!

[sereia 0]

How can you put a country's boundary on love? Wait for the kids to grow up! They don't stay small and helpless forever. They will leave the nest and find their own other half. If this is truly the one you love, you overcome. I would have not proposed to my fiancée if I was not willing to do the exact same thing I am asking her to do, leave her country for me. Commitment has to be two-way for me.

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

I guess I never said what I would do... I would go to Morocco OR a third country. I have a family I'd be sad to leave but I would do it none the less.

But your comments aren't really about me as I have no children. I am just curious why everyone is coming to America versus whatever country their SO is from. What held them back here? Etc. Although I do not have children, I can definitely see why someone would not want to leave them here. What if those kids were only a few years old? You're going to continue a long distance relationship thousands and thousands of miles away for another 16 years + until they leave your nest? It is just not realistic imo. Anyway... loving the answers!

Ps...AnewKINDofFEELIN thanks for the compliments!

[Imua 0]

I would move to Nepal definitely but would want to get my teaching credential first - there really is no other work I could do there. We have also talked about moving to a third country(possibly Thailand) but I am not sure what his visa status would be.

I might be able to get my citizenship card on my next visit and we will be opening up a joint bank account so setting down some connections there for sure.

Edited March 24, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[rebeccajo 14]

My responsibilties to my son came before my responsibilities to a 'new love' - no matter how powerful that love might be.

There was no questioning what my duties and obligations were.

How can you put a country's boundary on love? Wait for the kids to grow up! They don't stay small and helpless forever. They will leave the nest and find their own other half. If this is truly the one you love, you overcome. I would have not proposed to my fiancée if I was not willing to do the exact same thing I am asking her to do, leave her country for me. Commitment has to be two-way for me.

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I wasn't really directing my post at you. They were just thoughts. I guess, for me, even if my S/O confessed she was from another planet, I'd still want to go! The thought of waking up someday 20 or 30 years from now and thinking: I quit on this person I love so much. I let a government decide whether or not we could be together. Well,.. I could not handle that. Love has no boundary for me. I am not letting an imaginary line on some map decide my fate because my fiancée happened to be born on the other side.

How can you put a country's boundary on love? Wait for the kids to grow up! They don't stay small and helpless forever. They will leave the nest and find their own other half. If this is truly the one you love, you overcome. I would have not proposed to my fiancée if I was not willing to do the exact same thing I am asking her to do, leave her country for me. Commitment has to be two-way for me.

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

I guess I never said what I would do... I would go to Morocco OR a third country. I have a family I'd be sad to leave but I would do it none the less.

But your comments aren't really about me as I have no children. I am just curious why everyone is coming to America versus whatever country their SO is from. What held them back here? Etc. Although I do not have children, I can definitely see why someone would not want to leave them here. What if those kids were only a few years old? You're going to continue a long distance relationship thousands and thousands of miles away for another 16 years + until they leave your nest? It is just not realistic imo. Anyway... loving the answers!

Ps...AnewKINDofFEELIN thanks for the compliments!

[sereia 0]

awwww what a romantic!

[Nessa 23]

I think if you truly love your S/O the choice is obvious.

what about people with kids who can't bring them along? i wouldn't think its so cut and dry like that.

I agree. In our case, I didn't make enough money to support the lifestyle Charles is used to. Not that he's rich or anything, it's just jobs in Brazil are scarce, he doesn't speak portuguese, he wouldn't get a decent job. How could we afford to give up on healthcare, which is extremely expensive in Brazil and very few companies provide it, plus it's difficult to find a job as it is, specially one with benefits. I have tons of college graduate friends that just can't get a job that pays more than someone who only has high school degree.

Then Charles would only be able to get a sh!tty job like manual labor or something he'd hate and he's not cut out to. He would be completely frustrated and unhappy. He's not a spring chicken anymore. He has worked all his life to have the life he has right now. I have way more opportunities here. I speak pretty decent english, and even though I can't get a higher supervisory position I was used to, I can start all over again from the bottom, yes it's frustrating but I'm on my 20's, I can do it.

We can and plan on moving to Brazil when we're older and financially stable to afford living there.

So I don't blame him for not considering moving to brazil if I was denied. To be honest, we never even worry about that as being a possibility. We knew what could get someone to be denied, and unless something just weird came up, like war or something there was nothing that could stop me from being accepted. no diseases, no overstaying, no law problems, nothing.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

So this raises the question... If something really bizarre happened here... Some new insane legislation was passed... All the immigrants that were admitted, say, within the last 10 years were forcibly deported back to their countries of origin... Would you just give up on your S/O? Just get over them and move on all because you aren't willing to leave the US?

[Nessa 23]

So this raises the question... If something really bizarre happened here... Some new insane legislation was passed... All the immigrants that were admitted, say, within the last 10 years were forcibly deported back to their countries of origin... Would you just give up on your S/O? Just get over them and move on all because you aren't willing to leave the US?

that's crazy talk, it could never happen. I can't answer for Charles, though.