CAUGHT CHEATING............

[~krakatoa~ 27]

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

1 Corinthians 13:4-

Is this a response to my walking away? I've never been cheated on to know what my possible human reaction would be. And I said probably. Of course love is as powerful as that Bible verse.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Everyone is different, I would try not to judge anyone who stays with their partner after something like this.

BUT FOR ME?

Im done!!

Its completely unacceptable behavior. There is absolutley NO excuse for it.... If you are thinking or actually cheating on someone, leave the relationship- then go wh*re around all you want!

I am grateful I have never had to experience anything like this.

Im sorry to anyone who has

Lisa

[JVKn'CVO 11]

HI!THERE..I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOUR ANSWER AND OPINION......WHAT IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOUR MAN/WOMAN IS CHEATING ON YOU(like having an affair with other woman/man).....YOU GONNA FORGIVE IF THEY ASK..AND FORGET?(jus like nothing happen).......

No, no way, and I made sure Justin knew that from the beginning. If your spouse is willing to risk your relationship, and risk hurting you, there's nothing left to talk about.

yes, I'd forgive and forget. Betrayal doesn't bother me. I'd love to stay in a relationship where I can't trust my partner and he has no respect for me.

Saludos,

Caro

[pnrmbr975 1]

If my wife cheats on me, I'd forgive her but I will NOT stay in the relationship. We can be friends but nothing more.

I consider cheating to be a form of great disrespect. You can't just say I'd forgive like it's the easiest thing in the world.

And that verse from the bible? Easier said than done. Human emotions are complex. To each his own.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I was in a 9 year relationship once - not married. At year 7 he cheated and we broke up - for a while. He came back, apologetic, saying it was a mistake and he didn't mean it and let's continue our relationship. It was painful and took me some time to re-consider. Finally, I agreed to give it another try. He was fine for about a month and then he felt I was supposed to be able to pretend it had never happened. I didn't harp on it or anything, but I couldn't help feeling insecure. I had told him when we got back together that it would take time for me to rebuild my trust in him and that he had to work on showing me he was trustworthy. He seemed to think that meant we went right back to how everything had been before he cheated. He kept getting angry that I was still feeling uncertain and hesitant and he felt that a month was long enough. Well, you can guess the story. It didn't work out - it took another 2 years of me ending the relationship, him pleading to get back together, and me giving it 'one more try'. I finally got enough backbone to end it once and for all even while he kept pleading his undying love and that he wanted us to be together forever. He continued trying to get me back for 3 months after we ended the relationship once and for all. He hadn't changed his spots though - I found out that all of the time he was professing his undying love and wanting to get back together he was seeing someone else. He moved in with her 2 months after I ended it for good. He had told her we had broken up a year earlier than we actually had. I don't know if she ever found out the truth or not. They are still together as far as I know.

On the other hand, a good friend of mine's husband cheated on her. They separated for a while and he realized just how much his wife and their marriage really meant to him. When she agreed to forgive him the two of them worked very hard to put their life back together. Their marriage is one of the strongest ones I know. He adores her and would never, ever do anything again to jeopardize their marriage or to risk losing her.

I think it depends on the circumstances and the individuals involved.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

I have been on the "cheated on" side of this far too many times...I was choosing men who didn't respect me...the last straw was my ex-fiance who cheated on me repeatedly (I think I knew what was going on, but chose to ignore it)...

I closed that chapter of my life after we broke up...I do not stand for that type of behaviour any longer...after the trust is gone, what do you have left, really?

[sj5 4]

In my opinion.. cheating is not part of our deal before we got married i stay with him forever with the condition to keep our faith and trust unbreakable but once its fall apart why should i/he reconsider? will i/he trust each other in same way? will i/he feel same?

If i will consider him for the sake of piece of papers i/he maybe don't treat him/me same as now.

"Divorced is created for unfaithful spouse"

Edited March 22, 2008 by SJ

[sj5 4]

yes, I'd forgive and forget. Betrayal doesn't bother me. I'd love to stay in a relationship where I can't trust my partner and he has no respect for me.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Mine comes from a culture that allows multiple wives. His father has 2 and I have met both of them . His culture also calls for him to " marry" his brother widow in certain cases. If we are spending our time in his country as we plan to as we get older I am not sure how all of this will play out Right now he is saying only one wife. But will this change in time ? ( I also understand that his culture allows me to have a wife )

Is it cheating if your spouse has multiple wives ? I am NOT refering to in the US where it isn't legal , but if you are in a place that is it allowed .

[sj5 4]

I was in a 9 year relationship once - not married. At year 7 he cheated and we broke up - for a while. He came back, apologetic, saying it was a mistake and he didn't mean it and let's continue our relationship. It was painful and took me some time to re-consider. Finally, I agreed to give it another try. He was fine for about a month and then he felt I was supposed to be able to pretend it had never happened. I didn't harp on it or anything, but I couldn't help feeling insecure. I had told him when we got back together that it would take time for me to rebuild my trust in him and that he had to work on showing me he was trustworthy. He seemed to think that meant we went right back to how everything had been before he cheated. He kept getting angry that I was still feeling uncertain and hesitant and he felt that a month was long enough. Well, you can guess the story. It didn't work out - it took another 2 years of me ending the relationship, him pleading to get back together, and me giving it 'one more try'. I finally got enough backbone to end it once and for all even while he kept pleading his undying love and that he wanted us to be together forever. He continued trying to get me back for 3 months after we ended the relationship once and for all. He hadn't changed his spots though - I found out that all of the time he was professing his undying love and wanting to get back together he was seeing someone else. He moved in with her 2 months after I ended it for good. He had told her we had broken up a year earlier than we actually had. I don't know if she ever found out the truth or not. They are still together as far as I know.

On the other hand, a good friend of mine's husband cheated on her. They separated for a while and he realized just how much his wife and their marriage really meant to him. When she agreed to forgive him the two of them worked very hard to put their life back together. Their marriage is one of the strongest ones I know. He adores her and would never, ever do anything again to jeopardize their marriage or to risk losing her.

I think it depends on the circumstances and the individuals involved.

Many people out there has similar situations try and try but it doesn't work at all. Trust is a strong foundation in relationship.

[sara..... 371]

If i found he cheated on me before or after marraige thats it its over.......there is no excuse that can excuse this type of behavior......i would not feel i could ever trust him again......when u love someone u give them ur heart its up to them how they treat it but its up to u to decide once its given how ur willing to allow it to be treated

[sj5 4]

Mine comes from a culture that allows multiple wives. His father has 2 and I have met both of them . His culture also calls for him to " marry" his brother widow in certain cases. If we are spending our time in his country as we plan to as we get older I am not sure how all of this will play out Right now he is saying only one wife. But will this change in time ? ( I also understand that his culture allows me to have a wife )

Is it cheating if your spouse has multiple wives ? I am NOT refering to in the US where it isn't legal , but if you are in a place that is it allowed .

can a woman have two or more husband?

is not cheating if permitted to have another spouse

[july052007 0]

it's a totally different thing when marriage is involve...its a commitment.. an oath... under God, under law... its a mistake and a huge sin... and yet it can be forgiven... though not forgotten... depends on how deep the love is, and how much you want to give second chances... but... once is enough... two is too much.. and three is you should stop!

[Sal and Jay 2]

HI!THERE..I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOUR ANSWER AND OPINION......WHAT IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOUR MAN/WOMAN IS CHEATING ON YOU(like having an affair with other woman/man).....YOU GONNA FORGIVE IF THEY ASK..AND FORGET?(jus like nothing happen).......

For me if there is no trust there is no love and respect, so my answer would be no second chances they know what they are doing and what they are risking at the time.

[jego ryu 0]

Well first I'd confront him about it if I found out.

It all depends on the situation if I would be willing to work it out (Like if it was an isolated incident or something happening over a long period of time) but with my Nick....

I would be completely heartbroken and devastated but if he was genuinely sorry and wanted to work it out, I would do what I could to work through it.

I would never forget but I think if we were able to work through it, we would be that much stronger.

Now I'm done thinking about this subject cause it makes me sad.

Are you ok hon?

sorry to make you sad laura,,,,before i start this thread i was on the phone talking to my crying friend....she found out her partner have an affair,,,i feel so sorry for her...i agree with you laura,,,she is completely brokenhearted...ived been through in that situation too.i forgive him and forget,......i gave her advice that give herself time to grieve over the betrayal wether she stay w/him or not forgive him for his action so she can heal and move on with her life...