Curious about how long you've lived with SO.

[Eli the Barrowboy 16]

Hi,

We've lived together for two and a half wonderful years but just cos it works for us doesn't mean it's for everyone. Anyway, who cares!!! People can end up divorcing after 10, 15, heck even 45 years together. I think it depends more on how you spend the time together rather than the amount of time you spend together.

R

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Nick and I see each other pretty much every other month. The longest I stayed was almost a month back in the summer of 07.

[aravis227 1]

Nick and I see each other pretty much every other month. The longest I stayed was almost a month back in the summer of 07.

I wish we could do that! We're a 22 hour drive apart, so the quick weekend trip is out. Right now is the longest stretch we've been apart since the first time we met in real life, it will have been about three months by the time we see each other again. He'll probably come to visit in June for one or two weeks and hopefully we'll be approved soon after that!

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

I lived for four years with a boyfriend and yet I am certain that I know Alex so much better as a person. Living with someone or not living with someone doesn't affect the amount that you can effectively communicate.

Feel the same way...I lived with my ex-fiance, and I definitely did not know him as well as I know Darren...

[Jeraly 4]

Jeremy and I wanted to spend time living together to make sure that a) we could hack it and B) to prove to those doubters that we were making efforts at a normal relationship. We were also going to try and get an unmarried partner visa so wanted to show that we had tried to live as a normal couple as much as we could.

I was in the US for 7 weeks in Summer 2006 and then we flew back to the UK together where Jeremy stayed for about three months. Since then it's just been short holiday-type visits though I've seen him for about six weeks in the past year...

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

The quality of the relationship doesn´t depend on if you lived together before or not. If your friends (or whoever it is that keeps discouraging you) don´t understand that, it´s their problem. You don´t need to apologize to them for living your life and being happy. Not sure if lack of support here should necessarily mean they don´t want the best for you. Cuz maybe they are just worried about you. But I think if they were real friends they would like to meet your SO, get to know them and be friends with him/her too...

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I lived for four years with a boyfriend and yet I am certain that I know Alex so much better as a person. Living with someone or not living with someone doesn't affect the amount that you can effectively communicate.

Feel the same way...I lived with my ex-fiance, and I definitely did not know him as well as I know Darren...

I think there are a lot of relationship stressors that you are not aware of until you are actually living together, such as financial issues, your social lives, coordinating your lives, what to cook for dinner, what to watch on tv I don't think being in a long-distance relationship where you haven't lived together or in the same city determines how well you know each other, I think it just means a different sort of relationship dynamic. In my opinion, living with someone always changes the dynamic of the relationship - be it your best friend, roommate, family, SO or spouse.

Again, that doesn't mean you should or shouldn't live together before marriage.

Ok, that's my third post in this thread (I love discussing this kind of stuff) - I'll be quiet now

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Nick and I see each other pretty much every other month. The longest I stayed was almost a month back in the summer of 07.

I wish we could do that! We're a 22 hour drive apart, so the quick weekend trip is out. Right now is the longest stretch we've been apart since the first time we met in real life, it will have been about three months by the time we see each other again. He'll probably come to visit in June for one or two weeks and hopefully we'll be approved soon after that!

Aww hon I'm sorry

Nick and I are only an hour apart by plane....7 and 1/2 hours by car.

We are very lucky and we know it. I am thankful every day.

I bet you can't wait to see each other again!!! Just think of how awesome it's going to be!!!!

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

I think there are a lot of relationship stressors that you are not aware of until you are actually living together, such as financial issues, your social lives, coordinating your lives, what to cook for dinner, what to watch on tv I don't think being in a long-distance relationship where you haven't lived together or in the same city determines how well you know each other, I think it just means a different sort of relationship dynamic. In my opinion, living with someone always changes the dynamic of the relationship - be it your best friend, roommate, family, SO or spouse.

Well these kind of things aren´t a stressor for us at all....I guess we have a good level of communication...also if one of us wants to do something he/she gets complete support from the other one...

I think there are a lot of relationship stressors that you are not aware of until you are actually living together, such as financial issues, your social lives, coordinating your lives, what to cook for dinner, what to watch on tv I don't think being in a long-distance relationship where you haven't lived together or in the same city determines how well you know each other, I think it just means a different sort of relationship dynamic. In my opinion, living with someone always changes the dynamic of the relationship - be it your best friend, roommate, family, SO or spouse.

Well these kind of things aren´t a stressor for us at all....I guess we have a good level of communication...also if one of us wants to do something he/she gets complete support from the other one...

And even if we like something, we like to hear other ideas too and combine it all together

[KitEEgirl 0]

We've been really fortunate. Marco has been able to come here for almost 90 day visits. He's here right now, and will only go back for his medical and interview. Right now we are thinking he'll be heading back in a few weeks, and then be back permanently.

I was married for 3 years, and until this currently relationship, I never realized how little time my ex-husband and I spent together. I don't think a relationship can be measured quantitatively in time, in other words, we lived together for 6 months, so therefore our marriage is going to work. I lived with my ex for a year before we were married....

It's definitely the people in the relationship and the relationship itself, not the time of it...

[Zee Bee 61]

Nick and I see each other pretty much every other month. The longest I stayed was almost a month back in the summer of 07.

I wish we could do that! We're a 22 hour drive apart, so the quick weekend trip is out. Right now is the longest stretch we've been apart since the first time we met in real life, it will have been about three months by the time we see each other again. He'll probably come to visit in June for one or two weeks and hopefully we'll be approved soon after that!

Aww hon I'm sorry

Nick and I are only an hour apart by plane....7 and 1/2 hours by car.

We are very lucky and we know it. I am thankful every day.

I bet you can't wait to see each other again!!! Just think of how awesome it's going to be!!!!

Oh, I can only dream...we have to go a year between visits and even then they are a week or so at most

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

You will soon be with your SO

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Oh, I can only dream...we have to go a year between visits and even then they are a week or so at most

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. One of the beautiful things about this whole process is that you learn to truly appreciate your SO and never take a moment together for granted. I'm sure most of us have realized just how strong we are, and how strong our love is.

We all truly know the meaning of "love is patient."

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I think there are a lot of relationship stressors that you are not aware of until you are actually living together, such as financial issues, your social lives, coordinating your lives, what to cook for dinner, what to watch on tv I don't think being in a long-distance relationship where you haven't lived together or in the same city determines how well you know each other, I think it just means a different sort of relationship dynamic. In my opinion, living with someone always changes the dynamic of the relationship - be it your best friend, roommate, family, SO or spouse.

Again, that doesn't mean you should or shouldn't live together before marriage.

Ok, that's my third post in this thread (I love discussing this kind of stuff) - I'll be quiet now

True - although you can also discuss these things as much as possible before you live together. With my ex we were hardly ever apart, but we never sat down and talked about any of the big issues and as a result it was more like living with a roommate than a partner - we led very separate lives.

I'm not expecting everything to go to plan - something unexpected always crops up - but Alex and I have talked about how we hope to manage our finances, what classes we may like to join in our spare time (and through our visits we've learned about the places we like to go), dietary wishes and we even watch the same TV programmes although we're thousands of miles apart thanks to the internet.

As for the poll in this thread; we've seen each other three times, each time for 4 weeks. The longest amount of time we've spent apart so far is 11 months. It's hard but it will be worth it.

[MissYoko 4]

This topic came up on another forum I frequent (mostly they are telling me I'm dumb because I've never lived with my fiance). They are non-immigrationers, I was curious how my situation compared to other people here. We met on-line, have visited several times, voice/video chat every day, but never lived in the same city.

Exactly like you Aravis, so we can't say at this time that we lived together. And its the reason why we're on the K1 'cause we have to be together, we need it, we can't continue to live far away.