Bad News

[Traviesa 0]

I have to answer several at once so bear with me...

Dixie, Javier's drug activity occurred 8 years ago. The reason he was denied was because he made the dumb, infant-like decision to put something in his mouth that didn't belong there. That so happened to be a dusting of cocaine. He confessed to it. Good for him, bad for us-we were denied because of it. Going to Mexico is really NOT the best option for me because of health conditions and economical factors, not to mention I'm my mom's only surviving child.

Monique-your post made me laugh because that's the same thing I always tell my mom-hey, I'm on my own, independent, in a professional job...but she still worries herself to DEATH over me. Not a conversation goes by when she doesn't say "have you done this or have you paid this?" She's that kind of mom. I'm afraid they wouldn't be able to get over the deception.

Lisa-I get 3 weeks of unspecified leave a year. So I suppose as long as I don't get sick, I could take 3 separate one week vacations.

[faith 0]

Melissa, I would think about staying here too. You know how hard it is to prove hardship normally to get a waiver (which you'll need in 2008) and you also know it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get one if you move to mexico with him.

[Traviesa 0]

Melissa, I would think about staying here too. You know how hard it is to prove hardship normally to get a waiver (which you'll need in 2008) and you also know it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get one if you move to mexico with him.

Faith, that's exactly the reason I had resigned myself to the thought that this was going to be a permanent move. I might have to work something out...maybe go to Mexico, get married, come home, then start the I-130 process. With how long it's been taking, maybe it'll be 3 years before we get to the interview stage.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

when will his 10 year ban be up?

[chri'stina 190]

Mel, seriously think about the possibility of waiting here. How long can you go to Mexico for? cos you could go there for extended visits along the way

I was also thinking that what if you took extended visits there. I know you have your own place so taking months off of work would be hard...but...if you lived with your parents or a roommate, it would make going there for longer amounts of time easier financially.

I pondered these kinds of things during our visa process, as I knew there is no 100% guarantee of anything. So I had to think about what I'd do if Sujeet couldn't move here. Well first thing was that I would just move to India and come back to visit the US from time to time. If it was something where it would be 3 years of waiting, I would have tried to work and save money, then use the saved money to make long trips there. It would have effected a lot back in the US but you have to kind of weigh priorities. For me, I would have rather lived with my parents and not have to worry about rent if I wasn't in the US for long trips. My parents would have been really really sad if I moved to India, but at the same time they knew I was going to do whatever it took to be with Sujeet and they would have supported me, though sadly due to missing me. We didn't have to face that after all, so I know planning is not the same as actually having to do it!

[Traviesa 0]

when will his 10 year ban be up?

May 1, 2013.

Oh #######. I just realized it's been 3 years to the day since he arrived in Mexico.

[Cygnet 0]

I'm sorry to have to inform you all that our Advisory Opinion has been denied. We won't be getting a Visa for Javier. Thanks to all of you for your help in everything and support. We'll let you know what we're going to do as soon as we can figure out what that is.

MissLiss, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Truly sorry to hear this. I hope you will find a way to be with your loved one.

Maureen

[Traviesa 0]

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions...I'm going to run some stuff by Javier after I leave work and we'll have a better idea of where we want to go from here. To be honest, it would be great if I wouldn't have to get stuck in Mexico for the rest of my life. There's nothing wrong with Mexico, but I'd like moving there to be a choice, not the only way.

[faith 0]

Melissa, I would think about staying here too. You know how hard it is to prove hardship normally to get a waiver (which you'll need in 2008) and you also know it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get one if you move to mexico with him.

Faith, that's exactly the reason I had resigned myself to the thought that this was going to be a permanent move. I might have to work something out...maybe go to Mexico, get married, come home, then start the I-130 process. With how long it's been taking, maybe it'll be 3 years before we get to the interview stage.

Just think it through before you commit to any decision. Weigh the pros and cons. Know that a lot of us on here are hoping for the best and will help you with whatever decision you make

[Nessa 23]

I'm sorry to hear that

[iceyspots 0]

I'm sorry to hear... but at least it's not like a lifetime ban or something... Hope you make a good decision with whatever you do

[tabta 0]

Melissa, I am not really sure what advice to give. I know that if I was in your situation I would eventually move to Mexico. But like you I would have things to deal with before then. I am so sorry for the result. I just wanted to say good luck in what ever you decide and also to offer my support. I lived in Mexico for almost 2 years, so if that is the route you take, I will be free to answer any questions I can about getting married in Mexico,visas, etc. good luck

[rebeccajo 14]

Melissa, I don't mean to be hateful, but are you more afraid to tell your parents because of the REASONS for the denial, or because of your assumption that they want you to have a bright, shiny wedding?

I believe Stina offers valid suggestions, such as living at home with the folks in order to be able to afford visits to Mexico, etc. You are more likely to have that kind of support if you are truthful with your mom and dad.

[Traviesa 0]

Melissa, I don't mean to be hateful, but are you more afraid to tell your parents because of the REASONS for the denial, or because of your assumption that they want you to have a bright, shiny wedding?

I believe Stina offers valid suggestions, such as living at home with the folks in order to be able to afford visits to Mexico, etc. You are more likely to have that kind of support if you are truthful with your mom and dad.

Rebecca, it's not hateful to ask. The reason I didn't tell them to begin with was because the one time they met Javier, I wanted them to meet him for him, not with some preconceived notion about him. So I didn't tell them that he was illegal. After that, there never was a good time to tell them. About the drug thing, it's going to be very complicated to explain that one. I just know how my parents are-the moment they hear the word drugs they will stop listening. If we weren't in this situation there'd be no reason for me to tell them Javier tried cocaine 8 years ago. I just can't see why I have to tell them now. I understand about the illegal thing-obviously they need to know about that.