Bad News

[ChristinaM 0]

And would you be prepared to do that?

[Traviesa 0]

And would you be prepared to do that?

Not right this moment...I'm still at the point of holding out hope...I can just see it now, I tell my mom I'm moving to Mexico forever...you'll never see Javier again...you'll rarely see your grandchildren. Oh she's going to die. Literally.

[rebeccajo 14]

I say screw it and move to Mexico. Permanently.

I'm beginning to wish I had never brought Wes to this h*ll hole.

Would you move there?

To Northern Ireland? If it weren't for my son...in a heartbeat.....

And would you be prepared to do that?

Not right this moment...I'm still at the point of holding out hope...I can just see it now, I tell my mom I'm moving to Mexico forever...you'll never see Javier again...you'll rarely see your grandchildren. Oh she's going to die. Literally.

Melissa.....you are going to outlive your parents. You have a life. Live it for you - not them.

Sorry don't mean to be cruel. I'm in a bad mood.

[irishgirl73 0]

I say screw it and move to Mexico. Permanently.

I'm beginning to wish I had never brought Wes to this h*ll hole.

Would you move there?

To Northern Ireland? If it weren't for my son...in a heartbeat.....

And would you be prepared to do that?

Not right this moment...I'm still at the point of holding out hope...I can just see it now, I tell my mom I'm moving to Mexico forever...you'll never see Javier again...you'll rarely see your grandchildren. Oh she's going to die. Literally.

Melissa.....you are going to outlive your parents. You have a life. Live it for you - not them.

Sorry don't mean to be cruel. I'm in a bad mood.

I would move to Ireland too!!!! I just might do that one of these days

[Traviesa 0]

Ok I'll just say it.............I'M SCARED OF MY MOMMY AND DADDY!!!!! I seek their approval in all aspects of life. To think they were not happy with me would tear me to pieces....

[faith 0]

Melissa, if you have a bond with your parents and you feel that way, I can understand. I can't live away from my family. I've done it before and it killed me. So I can totally see where you are coming from on this. Plus, you know that I understand totally about the waiver stuff and how you can't move there temporarily as well.

My best advice is to talk to your employer NOW and find out what you can do for February. You have options, and I know it sucks that you'd have to go without seeing him for awhile, but think of how sweet it will be when you do see him!!!

Just know that we're here for you if you need to talk or bounce ideas off of us

[ChristinaM 0]

I know that feeling. I was too frightened to tell my parents that Chris and I were getting married. I made him do it

*hugs*

It's a hard one.

[chri'stina 190]

Ok I'll just say it.............I'M SCARED OF MY MOMMY AND DADDY!!!!! I seek their approval in all aspects of life. To think they were not happy with me would tear me to pieces....

I can understand that, not that I have gone through it with my parents but we have gone through a very tough process with Sujeet's family. Jamie (VipulandJamie) also had to go through a very hard time because her parents completely went against her wanting to marry Vipul. If Sujeet or Jamie would have only done what their parents wanted, I wouldn't be married and neither would Jamie be. But both Jamie and Sujeet went with what they felt was right, not what their parents only wanted...and now both stories have good endings. It was very tough for awhile, but you have to be willing to do anything to be with the one you love. And in the end people do come around.

[faith 0]

I know that feeling. I was too frightened to tell my parents that Chris and I were getting married. I made him do it

*hugs*

It's a hard one.

I've been married every time I've been pregnant, and I was STILL afraid to tell my dad. That is an admission I was having sex

[noemij 0]

And would you be prepared to do that?

Not right this moment...I'm still at the point of holding out hope...I can just see it now, I tell my mom I'm moving to Mexico forever...you'll never see Javier again...you'll rarely see your grandchildren. Oh she's going to die. Literally.

I see your point, but I think that you also need to remember that this is the situation that your fiance's parents and relatives are going to be in.....being together means that you have to compromise...

[Traviesa 0]

And would you be prepared to do that?

Not right this moment...I'm still at the point of holding out hope...I can just see it now, I tell my mom I'm moving to Mexico forever...you'll never see Javier again...you'll rarely see your grandchildren. Oh she's going to die. Literally.

I see your point, but I think that you also need to remember that this is the situation that your fiance's parents and relatives are going to be in.....being together means that you have to compromise...

That's a very interesting point, something I didn't think of before..........

Thanks for sharing your all's stories, definitely has helped to improve my spirits. There are moments when I think ok I'm going to go for it! Then my mind starts working and I freak out all over again. Hopefully one of these days I'll have the gumption to make the choice and stick with it!

[rebeccajo 14]

Well, at the end of the day, that's what this whole thing is about...gumption....courage.....

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Melissa, I'm right with you...not 'scared' of my parents, but I can't stand the thought of hurting them any more..they have been thru MUCHO stuff the last few years; can't even begin to tell youall what, and we are (and Corey..and they love Craig too) very, VERY close with them emotionally. They only live four miles away and I only see them a couple times a week, but I speak to my mom every day and if I don't she wonders if something is wrong. ...the ocasisonal day we miss. It's a BIG HUGE part of my thoughts on moving to England whether anyone thinks that's right or not..it's for me to decide. (and that's not directed at you, Becca..I know for a fact there are many on here that totally agree with you..but people have different relationships with their parents..some like mine, some different) Corey is another reason, on many levels..he wouldn't want to do it, I would have to first get court permisson to do it, and I would be dealing with all of my feelings aside from his...and ..bring my parents into it AGAIN..they have always been extremely close to Corey. They always always watched him while I worked since i was a single parent for so long. SORRY MELISSA...wasn't making this about me!!! not trying to that is!!! Was just getting at the fact, that I totally relate to the parents issue. My mom(and dad)would be totatally devastated if we left, and I'm justnot sure I could add to that right now. My Mom has gone so far as to say that, and gotten teary talking about it. Makes the decision a LOT more difficult, no matter what anyone thinks. I hope it all works out..will be rooting for you, as always. M.

edit to add after reading post above a couple: Craig's parents were sad to see him go, of course, but they were never against him moving as my mom/dad are..that made it a lot easier, tho difficult for ALL of them I'm sure. It makes a difference. They want nothing more now than for him to 'settle' here and be happy. M.

Edited May 4, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[AlmostMex 0]

You say you wouldn't qualify for the waivers if you move to Mexico, but couldn't you apply for his visa after the ban time expired? I realize that you are talking about the 10 year ban being over and by then you'll be settled down there, but I at least think it may help you emotionally to realize it doesn't have to be PERMANENT, and that you would have the option at some point to move back to the US (if you truly do). My husband and I did wait out his ban period (albeit 5 years, not the 10 you're facing ) and then applied for his visa and moved back. Actually if you know how to time it right, you can even send in the petition a little before the ban period is up, you just can't apply for the visa until the ban's up - as we know, any little bit of time savings helps.

Is it a possibility for you to move to Mexico and work there, Melissa, or to live near the border and commute into the US for work purposes?

It would be a permanent move, as we wouldn't qualify for Waivers if I was living in Mexico.

I also agree Melissa that your parents love you and if they truly want your happiness, they will eventually come around, even if they are disappointed and sad at the thought of you moving to Mexico. For a long time, I thought my parents would be against me moving to Mexico too until my mom finally came out and told me one day that my place was at my husband's side and actually ENCOURAGED me to move. True sacrifice on her part, as it was very hard for her to have me move down there, and they even tell me know they thought we'd never move back once I went down there. While I realize your situation with your parents can be different, don't short change them. Open up to them, explain the situation (just the illegal part if you're not comfortable with explaining the other reason behind Javier's visa denial), and see what happens. You could be pleasantly surprised Parents wnat their children's happiness even when it means sacrifice on their parts.

[Mirorgate 0]

I know that feeling. I was too frightened to tell my parents that Chris and I were getting married. I made him do it

*hugs*

It's a hard one.

I've been married every time I've been pregnant, and I was STILL afraid to tell my dad. That is an admission I was having sex

Hey... since being voted a VJ ho... WE at least know your having sex.... even if your dad doesn't