What are the legalities of desertion after green card is recieved

[Dennis Miller 0]

Thank you for your help! You have explained many things to me. I appreciate you taking the time to do so! I must admit that I do not understand the difference between loving someone and being in love, I'm sorry. If I love someone then I am in love with them. I have tried to register on Candle for over a week now. Cannot get a confirmation returned to me. I have logged in with a friends information and posted. I have contacted them about not being able to register and get the confirmation but have yet to hear back from them! I don't know what else to do?

I suspect you probably do understand the difference. Do you have a mother, father, sister, son or daughter? Have you ever been in love and then found that love grew stronger. Do you realize "love" is also a verb, not just a noun/feeling?

Yes sir, when you put it like that then yes I understand. She may love me like a brother or sister but not be in love with me, correct? Any suggestions for getting registered for Candle? I had my email I sent to them, explaining the problem I am having, returned as no such address? I got it from their website!

Copy your email into a PM to VJ member warpedbored who is a mod at Candle.

I'm sorry but I am new at this site and I don't know what a PM is? Or where do I find one?

Dennis,

A PM stands for Personal Message and you can PM someone from their Profile. Look on the left where the Profile photo is and look down and you will see "Send Message"

Where can I find warpedbored's profile to do this? He has not responded to any of these post.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Thank you for your help! You have explained many things to me. I appreciate you taking the time to do so! I must admit that I do not understand the difference between loving someone and being in love, I'm sorry. If I love someone then I am in love with them. I have tried to register on Candle for over a week now. Cannot get a confirmation returned to me. I have logged in with a friends information and posted. I have contacted them about not being able to register and get the confirmation but have yet to hear back from them! I don't know what else to do?

I suspect you probably do understand the difference. Do you have a mother, father, sister, son or daughter? Have you ever been in love and then found that love grew stronger. Do you realize "love" is also a verb, not just a noun/feeling?

Yes sir, when you put it like that then yes I understand. She may love me like a brother or sister but not be in love with me, correct? Any suggestions for getting registered for Candle? I had my email I sent to them, explaining the problem I am having, returned as no such address? I got it from their website!

Copy your email into a PM to VJ member warpedbored who is a mod at Candle.

I'm sorry but I am new at this site and I don't know what a PM is? Or where do I find one?

Dennis,

A PM stands for Personal Message and you can PM someone from their Profile. Look on the left where the Profile photo is and look down and you will see "Send Message"

Where can I find warpedbored's profile to do this? He has not responded to any of these post.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?act=members

Type in the name and then click on his profile.

I don't know much about Chinese culture, but to me this doesn't sound good

However, I think you still should try all you can, at least you'll know you did EVERYTHING you could to make the marriage work.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Thank you for your help! You have explained many things to me. I appreciate you taking the time to do so! I must admit that I do not understand the difference between loving someone and being in love, I'm sorry. If I love someone then I am in love with them. I have tried to register on Candle for over a week now. Cannot get a confirmation returned to me. I have logged in with a friends information and posted. I have contacted them about not being able to register and get the confirmation but have yet to hear back from them! I don't know what else to do?

I suspect you probably do understand the difference. Do you have a mother, father, sister, son or daughter? Have you ever been in love and then found that love grew stronger. Do you realize "love" is also a verb, not just a noun/feeling?

Yes sir, when you put it like that then yes I understand. She may love me like a brother or sister but not be in love with me, correct? Any suggestions for getting registered for Candle? I had my email I sent to them, explaining the problem I am having, returned as no such address? I got it from their website!

Copy your email into a PM to VJ member warpedbored who is a mod at Candle.

I'm sorry but I am new at this site and I don't know what a PM is? Or where do I find one?

Dennis,

A PM stands for Personal Message and you can PM someone from their Profile. Look on the left where the Profile photo is and look down and you will see "Send Message"

Where can I find warpedbored's profile to do this? He has not responded to any of these post.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?act=members

Type in the name and then click on his profile.

I don't know much about Chinese culture, but to me this doesn't sound good

However, I think you still should try all you can, at least you'll know you did EVERYTHING you could to make the marriage work.

I do thank you, I will try to contact warpedbored. I have tried about all I can, unless she contacts me I have no way of doing much of anything. If she doesn't contact me then I guess that will say everything.

[pushbrk 13,117]

I do thank you, I will try to contact warpedbored. I have tried about all I can, unless she contacts me I have no way of doing much of anything. If she doesn't contact me then I guess that will say everything.

Can you not at least write her a letter?

[Dennis Miller 0]

I do thank you, I will try to contact warpedbored. I have tried about all I can, unless she contacts me I have no way of doing much of anything. If she doesn't contact me then I guess that will say everything.

Can you not at least write her a letter?

I wish I could! I do not have her address, All I have is what little information her sister told me. I have emailed her sis in China with letters to either read to her or email to her. I don't know if she did, or will ,or tossed but I have heard nothing back as of yet.

[Dennis Miller 0]

I do thank you, I will try to contact warpedbored. I have tried about all I can, unless she contacts me I have no way of doing much of anything. If she doesn't contact me then I guess that will say everything.

Can you not at least write her a letter?

I wish I could! I do not have her address, All I have is what little information her sister told me. I have emailed her sis in China with letters to either read to her or email to her. I don't know if she did, or will ,or tossed but I have heard nothing back as of yet.

Can you tell me what is normal behavior for a Chinese woman? I will guess that is about opposite of what I described?

Edited March 27, 2008 by Dennis Miller

[pushbrk 13,117]

I do thank you, I will try to contact warpedbored. I have tried about all I can, unless she contacts me I have no way of doing much of anything. If she doesn't contact me then I guess that will say everything.

Can you not at least write her a letter?

I wish I could! I do not have her address, All I have is what little information her sister told me. I have emailed her sis in China with letters to either read to her or email to her. I don't know if she did, or will ,or tossed but I have heard nothing back as of yet.

Can you tell me what is normal behavior for a Chinese woman? I will guess that is about opposite of what I described?

People really are individuals so I wouldn't choose the word "normal" in this instance but in my experience and that of many others I've read about, their Chinese wives were immediately active in home life. Generally wanting a higher level of cleanliness in the home and certainly taking over the housework. There would be exceptions, of course. For instance, a young woman whose mother may have done all the housework may not feel that way.

My wife's 19 year old daughter certainly isn't concerned about making her bed or cleaning the bathroom she uses but my wife is pretty meticulous about most household things. She seems baffled about cleaning bathroom floors though because there's no floor drain, hose and mop set up for that and the throw rugs are in the way. Similar issues with the bath tub. Hard water stains don't bother her.

Stories of Chinese women mopping the carpets are pretty common. Interest in cooking rather than eating USA food are pretty common too. Actually that's an understatement.

Reasons your wife didn't take an active part could range the gamut from laziness to depression to having no commitment to the relationship, to lack of training at home plus anything else that might come to mind. Without knowing her, I wouldn't speculate on the why.

[Boiler 46,120]

Time to move on.

To bring it to basics:

- She showed no commitment to the marriage.

- Got the Green Card.

- Went home for 3 months, came back and moved 3,000 miles away.

- Left no contact information.

Next step should be a Divorce Lawyer you need to protect yourself and your assets.

This is hardly a 'cultural' issue.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

[Dennis Miller 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

[nane1104 146]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

Don't let ignorance stopping you from posting here and asking questions. Some people just always have to be supersmart.

[sereia 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

I wish you the best!!! At this point I would take care of yourself first! Don't be afraid to ask questions here or vent if you need it. Someone here is reading!

[StillThePrettiest 3]

Dennis, I hope that even though you quoted my post that was just because you hit 'reply'; certainly don't take that as evidence that people are tired of hearing about your problems... I was having a dig at Boiler for pronouncing on your situation in such definite terms; that sort of thing irks me no end

fair enough, as many people have done, to give you some possibilities, stated as such, but to tell you what IS the case, when they don't even know you? supreme arrogance, in my opinion

if you want to let the thread retire now, I think people will understand, but equally I think people would like to know what you decide to do, and how you get on, if you'd like to share it... in either case, I sincerely wish you the very best

[pushbrk 13,117]

Dennis, I hope that even though you quoted my post that was just because you hit 'reply'; certainly don't take that as evidence that people are tired of hearing about your problems... I was having a dig at Boiler for pronouncing on your situation in such definite terms; that sort of thing irks me no end

fair enough, as many people have done, to give you some possibilities, stated as such, but to tell you what IS the case, when they don't even know you? supreme arrogance, in my opinion

if you want to let the thread retire now, I think people will understand, but equally I think people would like to know what you decide to do, and how you get on, if you'd like to share it... in either case, I sincerely wish you the very best

Yes, ultimately the decisions are yours. Feel free to share and ask as you please. We never get the full story of relationships even when husband and wife are both posting, so it's easy to draw the wrong conclusions. GIGO is alive.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis, I hope that even though you quoted my post that was just because you hit 'reply'; certainly don't take that as evidence that people are tired of hearing about your problems... I was having a dig at Boiler for pronouncing on your situation in such definite terms; that sort of thing irks me no end

fair enough, as many people have done, to give you some possibilities, stated as such, but to tell you what IS the case, when they don't even know you? supreme arrogance, in my opinion

if you want to let the thread retire now, I think people will understand, but equally I think people would like to know what you decide to do, and how you get on, if you'd like to share it... in either case, I sincerely wish you the very best

I understand and I thank you! I am in a holding pattern right now, waiting to see if she will contact me. If not then I don't know what to do. I know what to do but I don't like it!