I have 2 questions?

[dawnnhatem 0]

I feel bad for posting this without adding that I really have missed him and for a long time I've looked forward to putting our lives together. Its just that time is moving fast now and he just might be here in like 2-3 weeks. I hope I dont sound like a bad, selfish person. Or maybe I'm a bad selfish person. Just don't know.

[Mr&Mrs2859 0]

If he doesnt receive his ss# within at least 3 weeks I would go down and inquire. My husband never received his ss card until he went down and applied. Even though both of these were checkmarked on the DS230. He had to keep calling about his greencard and finally received it after 200 or so days. No im not kidding.

[Bosco 1]

I feel bad for posting this without adding that I really have missed him and for a long time I've looked forward to putting our lives together. Its just that time is moving fast now and he just might be here in like 2-3 weeks. I hope I dont sound like a bad, selfish person. Or maybe I'm a bad selfish person. Just don't know.

Dawn,

You are NOT bad or selfish. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. I think because of all we go through to get our men here, and because there are always other people still waiting on their men, it is almost taboo to talk about the adjustment or about the parts we are not 100% looking forward too or happy with. Someone can always just retort "Be glad your man is with you". There are also the people who voiced their doubts about our relationships, and if we talk about these things, they feel validated, even though we are only expressing normal concerns/frustrations. It is like you are forced to be hypervigilant, and you end up keeping in the little things you would otherwise express.

I had mixed feelings about Abderrafie coming. I loved him, I knew that, but I also realized it was going to be a huge adjustment. I was not sure how either of us would handle all the change. I have never been one for believing that all you need is love. I used to feel like I was crazy because all the other women seemed to just talk about how perfectly happy and blissful they would be once their men arrived.

Things have been great since Abderrafie arrived and the adjustment has gone very smoothly because I think we both expected it. I think your realistic perspective will be beneficial to you as well; you already anticipate some of the things that may be issues and so you won't be blindsided and overwhelmed.

My Yahoo group has helped too. The women are really frank about the issues, cross-cultural and just normal relationship issues. It is helpful to hear other people share that they felt the same, and it keeps the problems from seeming bigger than they really are. When you keep them in because you don't want to hear from all the people that doubted you, the problems can seem bigger than they really are. All relationships go through an adjustment, we are just put in a position of having to defend ours more.

You are going to be fine.

Rebecca

[myfellah 0]

Dawn,

I think you sound perfectly normal. I had chatted and waited to be with my husband for over two years. I was so excited yet so scared for him to join me (K-1Visa for us). He has been here 8 months today. Things have been really good but that doesn't mean I haven't worried and worried even since his arrival. Like Rebecca, I have a yahoo group that I belong to that allows us all to share these experiences and to vent to one another. I don't need to negative comments from friends and co-workers who don't really understand. I would rather post to those women in the same circumstances as me and to know I'm going through the "normal" things. Give yourself a break and know you will be ok and what you are feeling is normal. I wish you the best and your husband a safe trip home. By the way I had been on my own for a very long time again but things are working out and I'm learning to "share" again. You can still be yourself, most of your worries will leave you as soon as you've had time to be together. It may not happen immediately but it will happen. There really isn't a right or wrong way. You will be fine.

Doreen

[dawnnhatem 0]

You two are so sweet, thank you. Doreen, I joined your group last year, but I'm not very good at checking in or posting regularly so I think I got kicked out...

[kerewin21 2]

I feel bad for posting this without adding that I really have missed him and for a long time I've looked forward to putting our lives together. Its just that time is moving fast now and he just might be here in like 2-3 weeks. I hope I dont sound like a bad, selfish person. Or maybe I'm a bad selfish person. Just don't know.

Dawn, you are not the least bit selfish!!! You have been waiting a LONG time, longer than many of us here had to wait. You deserve to look forward to something good!!!!

Sharon

[farah2005 0]

Ok i was just wondering how long does it take to get the green card in the mail and the social security card. I need to get my husband a driving license asap. You need to drive where i live. Any info will be greatly appreciated.

Angel

hi angelk,

now i can replay to your questions !my green card arrived today after 19 days !

about the SSN card i called them after 2 weeks and they still don t have my informations in there computer i m gonna call them back on feb 12 .

good luck

[amal 4]

Dawn,

Its ok to have doubts... I doubted so many things and it has helped me to deal with the small things we disagree on now. One of the worst (and this is so silly) is my computer. I know it is ok to share it and I shouldn't have a problem with him using it....but I DID...He is a designer so most of his work is done via computer so I was feeling like second place to a piece of electronics... that lasted maybe 30 days or so and now I'm feeling better about it... The way I look at it now is ... there is NOTHING to do in my podunk town so if he's busy on the computer..even if he's not with me.. at least he's not bored. Even if you have problems... know that eventually they'll work themselves out you just have to be patient (yes i realize thats my favorite quote but it is just right to use for these situations)

love ya girl (hehe and everyone else too)

amal

[AngelK96 0]

Thursday I will go to the SS Office to apply for Anmar's SS Number, so for all you gals that been through this already, what kind of documents did you take and what questions do I need to ask. I feel so stupid about this stuff.

Angel

[dawnnhatem 0]

I haven't ordered his yet of course...but I was looking into it and you can see what you need at www.ssa.gov

you can download the application there too. It says you can apply by mail, just send in original stuff and they will get it all back to you quickly, but that seems risky. Maybe people do it without troubles, but I was suprised to see that.

[honeyblonde 0]

We waited 2 weeks after Abdel's arrival to make sure he was in the system then went down. We needed Abdel's passport with the K-1 and entry document in it. I don't think we needed anything else.

[kerewin21 2]

We waited 2 weeks after Abdel's arrival to make sure he was in the system then went down. We needed Abdel's passport with the K-1 and entry document in it. I don't think we needed anything else.

Ditto, we just needed the passport with the visa inside it. You might want to bring a birth certificate for good measure (can't hurt...)

How exciting to be in the position to apply for the ssn!!!!

Sharon

[AngelK96 0]

We applied for the SS card today. We needed his passport and his jordanian birth certificate and that was it. She told him he should get it in 7 to 10 days, so hopefully by that time his green card comes in the mail and he can start looking for a job or taking some ESL classes.

Angel