A great post by SARAAZIZ

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

i am so sorry for this concept about modern guys!!! modern guys drink, modern guys forget their honor and let strange men kiss and hug their wives!!! thats really shameful... if civilaztion is this i dont want it... i cannt understand if i have aprincple means i am controlling and kinda bad!!! help me people plz... can i be modern in sleeping with girls out of marraige or drink or let other guys put hands on my wife?

No you may not!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

can i be modern in sleeping with girls out of marraige or drink or let other guys put hands on my wife?

No you may not!

OMG I read that totally wrong -- I thought he said "can he be modern WITHOUT doing those things."

LOL oops

[yaziedandlisa 0]

can i be modern in sleeping with girls out of marraige or drink or let other guys put hands on my wife?

No you may not!

OMG I read that totally wrong -- I thought he said "can he be modern WITHOUT doing those things."

LOL oops

i am just making fun of this MODERN concept,,, aww how modern he is!! look i can kiss his wife and he is luaghing,,, that very modern guy.. aww he drinks scotish... i like modern guys,,, he is so modern... hmmm? what other modern things he is doin,,,? oh he slept with 4 girls last week? thats pretty modern,,, !!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.. this is what ment,, ( and i am not smiling anymore at this bullsh*t) of modern)

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

i am just making fun of this MODERN concept,,, aww how modern he is!! look i can kiss his wife and he is luaghing,,, that very modern guy.. aww he drinks scotish... i like modern guys,,, he is so modern... hmmm? what other modern things he is doin,,,? oh he slept with 4 girls last week? thats pretty modern,,, !!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.. this is what ment,, ( and i am not smiling anymore at this bullsh*t) of modern)

I understand you now Sorry for misreading your post before -- I totally agree with you here. My husband is very "modern" (lol so am I) but we are in agreement that hugging or kissing friends of the opposite sex is not acceptable for either one of us.

It's all a matter of what one considers appropriate. I want to repeat -- what is or is not acceptable behavior is almost always a very subjective value. But if husband and wife are not pretty much on the same page about what's "ok" and what "isn't," that's where the big problems start.

And of course this is not just an issue for Muslims (whether or not they marry other Muslims.) Many MANY couples have serious conflicts over dealing with these types of differences. If one person is expected to do all the changing -- sometimes even if any compromise at all is expected -- this can cause a lot of resentment.

-MK

[sarahaziz 0]

hehe huhu haha