A great post by SARAAZIZ

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

[KEK 0]

Wow this is sad. I'm not going to argue that it's not true, but my husband seems to be an exception. He is actually from an Indian background (his family immigrated to KSA quite awhile ago), so maybe that makes a difference. If we can really categorize people into 1 of 3, then he falls somewhere between 2&3 above. (personally I think that any person can be categorized like this, not just Arab men - if you are into fitting people into categories).

My husband spent 5 years here in college, and he had many friends who were females. He attributes this to growing up amongst women (mother, grandmother, 5 sisters), and to not being as close to his father. He felt comfortable with them, even more so than with Arab women whom he doesn't relate to as well (hmm, maybe he is category number 2, at least with Arab women, lol).

As for him using anyone to get a GC or something, that is really beyond my imagination. He knows the meaning of being a feminist; actually he is one also. We have both seen enough of women being treated badly by men, each in our respective cultures (I am white American, and do not believe that I am somehow Arab). Perhaps his Indian background makes him different, but he does not fit much of what is said in the OP. But from what he says about his culture & society there, I can tell that it might be true for many others, unfortunately.

[caybee 21]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

Are these your words or Sara's, Wahrania? Looks like Sara's from the title of the thread, but there's no quote box, so it's a little confusing.

[caybee 21]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

Are these your words or Sara's, Wahrania? Looks like Sara's from the title of the thread, but there's no quote box, so it's a little confusing.

Okay, nm, found Sarah's original post.

[~~~water~~~ 0]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=1671322

Its her post. This is not the first time I have been totally offended by her posts. One of her orig posts on the board was quite rude as well. I wish I had the link still. As far as she's concerned if you not arab like her your being used. I just take it that it she is someone with little life experience and that is too young to understand the real world. Please be more respectful in your post SARAH, you come off quite rude. Just cause you have arab parents doesn't mean you understand every arab or they fall into 3 catergories. Im sorry to inform you the world is not black and white and when your a little more mature maybe you will understand. I am not saying there is not truth to this , but your how you group everyone is offensive

Edited March 17, 2008 by ~~~water~~~

[doodlebugg 10]

i have no idea what the point of this thread is.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Makes me wonder, if ME men are so bad, why are the ones complaining still with them? *Shrugs*

[sarahaziz 0]

You can never get offended by anything anyone says if it doesn't somehow directly relate to you. If it doesn't pertain to people they just read it and shrug it off. People who get worked up have something to worry about. I don't believe anyone here is being used for citizenship. I think all women should be aware. If you read all my posts you'll see even tho I'm same culture as my husband I AM STILL AWARE I hold a much more beneficial citizenship than where he lives. What have I done? Women ask for red flags and all that stuff so we tell em like it is. If you don't like what I say don't listen but I'm surrounded by arab people from all countries that's who my family deals with. I have an uncle here in USA YAZID who said he'd divorce his first wife (american) to my other uncle because he doesn't like the american culture and how she won't cover herself up (short skirts, boots, string shirts) after having kids. He got onto me for that when I was 14. He never introduced her to his mother before she died he was ashamed and his wife complains to me about that she can't forgive him for that. I respect all women and I never want any woman to get used it's why I open my mouth instead of not sharing personal experiences and staying quiet. I'll say it again, I don't believe anyones spouse on this board are using women. This is my experiences here in USA and back home if it doesn't relate to you keep moving on and God bless you.

[Ban Hammer 13,552]

i have no idea what the point of this thread is.

nor i, i can't see a reason to start a whole new thread about it.

[SaadBell 0]

sarahaziz - love ya honey, you know it. Wish I knew the answer to all life questions, but don't have a clue. My husband and I talk about this subject all the time, he gets really angry when he thinks one of his Arab brothers would ever use a women for a green card. I am not up on the issue, but if you need to know about 419 scams, than yea I am good at that. I bait those lads, why, cause they are real crooks. I never had an Arab do a 419 but I could be way off, I think it is the person, not the culture, country, religion. I have great friends in Nigeria the capital of scammers, just because someone comes from a place that is known for scamming doesn't mean they all are like that. I know plenty of American men who are using American women, but since it is the same culture no one says, "those American men," there will always be people who try to use others, and sadly this is not just in MENA, it is universal.

[sarahaziz 0]

definitely, i just know about mena men tho . I don't know nothing about other cultures. Bad men in general sicken me.

[SaadBell 0]

If you ever need to get your anger out, a fun way is to bait a lad. Loads of fun, while you are doing something for a good cause. Check it out!!!

http://www.419eater.com/

[~Jackie~ 30]

Wish I could have back the 3 minutes I wasted reading this.

jJ

[*Maureen* 0]

Wish I could have back the 3 minutes I wasted reading this.

jJ

too funny, jackie

[mc2000ch 0]

Wish I could have back the 3 minutes I wasted reading this.

jJ

lol, agree