TO MENA MEN!

[PetraPerson101 0]

Ironically I did not meet my husband online. (I say ironically because I live on the computer, well, that is til my laptop breaks lol:)

And I'm a mena wife and yes I am happy with him. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me and I make dua everyday that we get togetehr soon.

People will stereotype and for some reason...maybe it's because I deal mainly with Arabs I dunno...but arab men get a bad reputation about everything under the sun. Well, I do believe that there is a reason stereotypes exist but not all arab men are bad. Certainly not because I married one:)

Bdut it reminds me of what my husband told me before he left to go back to Palestine. Peole will talk always but it is the most important that the husband and wife stick together and trust each other and that is what is important. And if both of us did not believe that, there is no way we'd still be married today. Because both people...arab and american....love to use the biggest muscle in the human body. Nope, not the heart but their stupid mouths:(

Get a desktop. I have a laptop, it's in a bag collecting dust. I've been using desktops since 1994 (* Not counting the pseudo-computers I used prior to then) - and very happy with em.

----

*cough*

Now, those of us who grew up in the United States? Bad? Eh?

Come on, not everyone's horrible - bleh - so many people taking exceptions & the lowest common denominator - and using it as the "standard" - eh - there's nasty people all over the place, true - but a generalization is the lowest form of analysis or description that you can possibly use. It's a pathetic attempt at describing something. The world's a dynamic place - not static. You can not generalize.

And - no - definitely - no - you can't say every Arab man is bad, nor can you say every American man is bad, or Dutch, Brazilian, Mexican, etc etc etc - you get my point. People are different.

I'd like to think the majority are good and/or try to be good.

And - I just wanted to point out - that some people use the -real- largest muscle in the human body to do their talking. That's right - the glutes. They talk out of their butt. ( like my dirtbag uncle - and a few people I know. Ugh. Or Hillary ... lol! )

The bad stuff does happen. In fact, I've seen way too much of it happening lately.

And as others have said, you will be judged unfairly by some people because of what some men have done. There's no way to avoid that. But if the people who are closest to you and your wife believe in you, their opinions, and God's opinion, are the only ones that matter.

My husband doesn't post here, but I will say that marrying him was, without question, one of the best decisions of my life, and I'll leave it at that.

Now see, that's where things are wrong. You can't generalize and blame potentially innocent people for something they haven't done.

Like - look at Iraq. Some lunatics are killing people, and everyone gets a bad name? What the hell is that? Guilty until proven innocent?

Don't be surprised when you point at someone, say "OMG! YOU'RE TERRIBLE!" - and they get sick of hearing it, pick up and leave. Or worse yet, get accused so much that they take up what you're accusing them of.

When you do that - you're asking for trouble. Give the guy a break....

Edited March 17, 2008 by KyanWan

[palilover 1]

Or another lecture habibi gives me when I generalize...

Not every finger on your hand is the same. Therefore, using that logic, not every person is the same.

Oh my habibi...the only voice of reason sometimes in this madness......

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Or another lecture habibi gives me when I generalize...

Not every finger on your hand is the same. Therefore, using that logic, not every person is the same.

Oh my habibi...the only voice of reason sometimes in this madness......

I love this expression.Did he also tell you to put your finger in his coffee to sweeten it cause youre just so darn sweet?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

W. why do u find it so hard to belive some people are happy, do you have the only perfect relationship

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

W. why do u find it so hard to belive some people are happy, do you have the only perfect relationship

this is a sweet thing that my husband says...it wasnt sarcastic lol

[brnidokiegurl 0]

sorry then i just took u were makeing fun of them

[PetraPerson101 0]

W. why do u find it so hard to belive some people are happy, do you have the only perfect relationship

this is a sweet thing that my husband says...it wasnt sarcastic lol

*scribbles on pad*

*nods*

*frowns*

Somehow, my monotone puts-you-to-sleep voice would not ... do something like that right.

( Luckily, I think she understands that. Oh well, I could always make my obsessive perfect-cup-of tea or a nice *real* cappuccino. )

Edited March 17, 2008 by KyanWan

[palilover 1]

LOL

No he is too picky about his coffee:) But he did teach me how to make it just so right for him....cuz I was not used to drinking instant coffee so I'd put too much of the coffee in it....but now I cand make it ok. But I still love the coffee made by him more:)

[caybee 21]

The bad stuff does happen. In fact, I've seen way too much of it happening lately.

And as others have said, you will be judged unfairly by some people because of what some men have done. There's no way to avoid that. But if the people who are closest to you and your wife believe in you, their opinions, and God's opinion, are the only ones that matter.

My husband doesn't post here, but I will say that marrying him was, without question, one of the best decisions of my life, and I'll leave it at that.

Now see, that's where things are wrong. You can't generalize and blame potentially innocent people for something they haven't done.

Like - look at Iraq. Some lunatics are killing people, and everyone gets a bad name? What the hell is that? Guilty until proven innocent?

Don't be surprised when you point at someone, say "OMG! YOU'RE TERRIBLE!" - and they get sick of hearing it, pick up and leave. Or worse yet, get accused so much that they take up what you're accusing them of.

When you do that - you're asking for trouble. Give the guy a break....

I agree with you.

I put two kind of unrelated thoughts together and I'm not sure it came out the way I intended. I've seen some bad ends to relationships happen with a few people I know lately. It's very disheartening. That was really the end of that thought.

As for the rest, I just meant that yeah, people are going to generalize, and not just in the case of MENA men. When my husband remarks to his boss that he's just bought a FTA satellite system and his boss responds, "Great! Now you can watch all the terrorist channels for free," or when he has two-day stubble and his boss tells him to "shave your face -- you look like a terrorist," my husband can either fight it or try to laugh it off. If he were going to be there long-term, we would take some steps because something can be done about that when it happens at work. For now, he's chosen to give his boss the "you're an idiot" look and then laugh. Anyway, the important thing for us is that my husband knows he has the love and support of my family and those closest to him, and to heck with everyone else.

That's what I was trying to say to the OP. He might as well know that some people will judge him unfairly (most will not). I didn't mean to come off as flippant about it or to suggest that I think that sort of judgment or joke is okay. It's not okay at all. The first time someone here said something blatantly bigoted to my husband's face, I felt like I'd been slapped, and he'd only just arrived, so goodness knows how it felt to him. Thankfully, those incidents have been few and far between.

[sarahaziz 0]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

GREAT FREAKING POST

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I'm sorry, but my husband doesn't fit any of the 3 pigeonholes. He's such a square peg.

What to dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ?????????

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

Sara, I am not arab nor do I think I am arab but over the years I have been friends with alot of arabs both men and women. You are wrong that arabs do not tell their true intentions. I knew a moroccan guy was leaving his american wife before she did.. about 4 months before he had his citizenship interview, he stopped having sex with her and started sleeping in the other room. He just abandoned and neglected her until she filed for divorce and she was none the wiser. She even told me she thought he was gay.. Well I was out at a sheesha place and there he was getting into a car with a moroccan girl He and his wife were similar in age.. he was like 32 and she was 29. She was very messed up in the head over him.. but she moved on and got over it.. I think sometimes the guys are really happy with their american wives but there is sometimes alot of pressure from other arabs to leave their wives and get someone from back home and what is really ironic is that sometimes they leave their american wife to kind of appease everyone else and then end up with someone from back home who doesnt understand them and they are miserable. People change and get used to the USA and sometimes arabs no longer fit in with the culture back home... I have heard the whole " I am looking for someone to marry do you know any Americans?" and I just really got cold inside when I would see these guys bring their sweet clueless wife around ( of course these are guys on tourist visas mostly .. not people who people brought over)

This whole bringing guys over thing is relatively new to the internet age. Before it was just come over with a tourist visa or work at disney and hurry up and find someone to help you stay here.. Now the internet is like a big fishing hole of men looking for their ticket out of where they are..

This whole topic as true as it all might be is sad as hell. I am sure most of you agree.. It s like looking at a dog hit by a car or something and you cannot save the poor dog.. Like you just wanna cry... and you know its reality but you dont want to deal with it.. I sure as hell am saddened by all of this...

[sarahaziz 0]

Women are easily moved like leaves in the wind by other peoples words. Men are not. Woman tend to get weak in love when men can usually maintain themselves. With that being said I think the negative experiences on the board have reflected on how women take their men now and very cautiously. I think most womens spouses here don't read what's written on here or anywhere on the net or in person to actually worry about their women as women worry about men. Men usually automatically trust their women not to do something horrible to them.

Whoever believes "Generalizations about arab men" CANNOT be true I think you're living in some kind of dream or something? There's just about 3 categories ARAB men fall into.

Religious & Serious and/OR controlling (won't accept a women with kids from previous marriage, wife has to be virgin before marriage, no gfs, will never accept modern style of living, shy,)

Laid back yet knows his respect and religion (shy,previous gfs but virgin bc of his religious beliefs, open to any culture and will learn it such as American culture, talks about other womens beauty with gf/wife),

Modernized/westernized (will drink,party,previous gfs, loves and lives in american culture, accepts wife to have male friends).

Some people might think I'm wrong and I don't know anything but I've grown up with all kinds of arab men. You can argue until you turn blue but it's still a real fact. Any other arab women on this board will off hand agree with me Arab men will speak more freely to us than someone from a different background .(American women who think they are arab don't count) Whatever bad intentions he has for an american/british or whatever woman he won't openly discuss that with her as he would with a woman from his own country or his culture. They are more open to speak bad motives with someone in the same culture vs telling another american hey im just going to use this american woman for a GC. That's just not realistic for a woman to ask are you using me or would you use me if i was another woman? and the man replying yes if you were another woman I'd use you but you are you so I loovveee you. I'm pretty sure that's joked (let me go marry a woman for a GC ) around alot with arabs among themselves even if they'd never consider using an american/french/austrailian citizen for citizenship. Not all fingers on the hand are same that is such a typical answer from all arabs. Just because a man says a typical line doesn't mean you don't have to worry about him. NOBODY considers them same to anybody else in this world. I don't consider myself same to any woman in this life but men can look at me and categorize me in whatever I fit in. There is a difference in personality when Arab men marry their own vs American. It's the same as American men marrying arab women. There's a difference in personality dealing with another culture.

Brother maybe you might not be bad but you are Aware there are many many men who use women from your country that's a fact you can never push off.

Sara, I am not arab nor do I think I am arab but over the years I have been friends with alot of arabs both men and women. You are wrong that arabs do not tell their true intentions. I knew a moroccan guy was leaving his american wife before she did.. about 4 months before he had his citizenship interview, he stopped having sex with her and started sleeping in the other room. He just abandoned and neglected her until she filed for divorce and she was none the wiser. She even told me she thought he was gay.. Well I was out at a sheesha place and there he was getting into a car with a moroccan girl He and his wife were similar in age.. he was like 32 and she was 29. She was very messed up in the head over him.. but she moved on and got over it.. I think sometimes the guys are really happy with their american wives but there is sometimes alot of pressure from other arabs to leave their wives and get someone from back home and what is really ironic is that sometimes they leave their american wife to kind of appease everyone else and then end up with someone from back home who doesnt understand them and they are miserable. People change and get used to the USA and sometimes arabs no longer fit in with the culture back home... I have heard the whole " I am looking for someone to marry do you know any Americans?" and I just really got cold inside when I would see these guys bring their sweet clueless wife around ( of course these are guys on tourist visas mostly .. not people who people brought over)

This whole bringing guys over thing is relatively new to the internet age. Before it was just come over with a tourist visa or work at disney and hurry up and find someone to help you stay here.. Now the internet is like a big fishing hole of men looking for their ticket out of where they are..

This whole topic as true as it all might be is sad as hell. I am sure most of you agree.. It s like looking at a dog hit by a car or something and you cannot save the poor dog.. Like you just wanna cry... and you know its reality but you dont want to deal with it.. I sure as hell am saddened by all of this...

I understand, Im very disgusted with this kind of thing happening and you know what it's happening MORE now than ever. It's like a conspiracy or something all the arabs are trying to come to USA but the wrong way. I think it's the communication with parents and their offspring not explaining what is marriage and never to use a woman but then again there could be nasty families who approve using women/men from USA. Woman want innocent clean religious men, Arabs are more smoother than anyone ever could think. They know the right things to say and wrong things. If you talk innocently to a man he will talk back in that manner. IF you open up and allow him to he will speak some nasty things you never hear from american men. That wolf in sheeps clothing comes up. Some arab men (God bless them) won't BS with you he'll be real with you and explain he's aware of the shitty things that are going on now days but if you consider him one of those men just leave or explain why did you marry him in the first place. He won't let tht subject go for days he will stay pissed at u until you understand he loves you. Not all fingers on a hand are same that's just about the most played out quote that has me pissed at any man here that said that. Arab men here in USA KNOW im married and they still try to get me to date them and leave my husband for them. 1 Arab man has a GC and he's currently in the U.S army training he's so modernized it's disgusting he admits he messed with american women but would never agree to marry one and that's why he wants to have an arab girl to take back to his family. Another man last year was on fiance visa to marry his spanish/american wife and he asked if i was single and said he was looking for a relationship to evolve into marriage. That ####### thought no other woman would come tell me he was married. American women - they are still daughters/sisters of some Man living or dead. I'm a huge feminist in this subject my spouse supports me 100% he has 4 sisters and lives with couple of aunts, grandma, mother he understands what a womans respect and place is. He did police work and never tolerated women with men they werent related to in discos together or men harassing women. he stopped talking completely to any man who joked around about visas by marriage to canadians,americans, french, he won't even tolerate a man talking about his gf. Only a wife has respect to be talked about from a man. If a womans man holds that much respect its a pretty high chance he will hold his wife respect in his hands with God's name.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Im happy and love love love my MENA man!!

He's sweet, true, ya hob hayati, and doesnt fit into one of the three categories sara laid out hee hee.

Lisa

Good post habibi!