Making the adjustment

[ddurkin 0]

Hi everyone. I've spent the last hour on here going through posts talking about the difficulties both the non-USC and USC deal with when the non-USC emigrates. About halfway through, I decided it would be a good idea to compile a list of what many people who've been through this recommend as both simple and important ways to make the transition for both parties a little easier.

With my own fiance arriving on Tuesday night, I think both of us (naturally) are a little anxious about what awaits. The list below is something I'm going to print and post in our home to remind both of us of easy ways to make things a little better whenever the going gets tough. I hope this helps some other people out there as well.

-Talk about our hopes and dreams

-Talk about our fears

-Talk, talk, talk some more. Communication is key!

-Smile and laugh

-Dance

-Take walks

-Exercise

-Find a hobby together

-Have a hobby of our own

-Touch, touch, touch

-Have a routine

-Meet new people, together and on our own

-Find folks in Indy who have done what we are doing!

-Read Peoples Republic of Cork website regularly

-Create a blog with lots of photos

-Send hand-written letters home

-get a webcam, and use Skype

-Talk to each other’s families

-Talk to a professional if that’s what we need to do

-Let’s volunteer

-Eat well

-Listen to Irish radio stations over the internet

-Remind ourselves why we’re doing this, why we're in the U.S. and not Ireland, why we love each other

-Try to be positive!!

-It’s ok to grieve about what has changes in our lives, and to recognize some feelings as grief

-Try to understand each other’s point of view

-Be friends and treat each other as friends

-Be kind to each other

-Have D’s family tape tv shows and send them over

I know this is a long list, but I really do think it might help. I'm a visual person, and seeing things in print in front of me makes me a lot more apt to do them. Good luck to all of us, I'll let you know which of these ideas is most helpful for us.

One more thing, perhaps most important of all:

-Don’t be selfish- be selfless!!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Good luck, buddy.

[KarenCee 3]

I appreciate that list...I had posted my concerns yesterday about this very same thing. I know we'll make it through, I just needed some ideas on how to help him with adjusting. Thanks....

[ChristinaM 0]

Sounds like you have a pretty good idea about where you're going!

With that attitude, you'll be fine

[ljpren 0]

sounds good to me.

Good luck to you guys... you will be just fine...

"Communication is a key"...

And stock up on some PATIENCE while dealing with USCIS ... you will need it...

Best

Luc

[Kaalyx 0]

ddurkin, this is great! I expect my husband to arrive within a week's time, and I've been thinking about the same things. ... I'm going to print your list and stick in it on the fridge!

Some other things I've come up with, which I've drawn up with my husband in mind, are:

-Order digital cable, so he can watch his European soccer leagues on Fox Soccer Channel.

-Get a DVD player that plays European DVDs, so he can watch Italian movies.

-Show him the specialty food stores that will have the quality & variety of food he prefers.

-Take short trips as our budget allows (camping, rock climbing, skiing, renting a cabin on Lake Michigan).

~Best to you, ddurkin! ~ I hope your spouse's move is an easy one

[Fandango 1,440]

ddurkin, this is great! I expect my husband to arrive within a week's time, and I've been thinking about the same things. ... I'm going to print your list and stick in it on the fridge!

Some other things I've come up with, which I've drawn up with my husband in mind, are:

-Order digital cable, so he can watch his European soccer leagues on Fox Soccer Channel.

-Get a DVD player that plays European DVDs, so he can watch Italian movies.

-Show him the specialty food stores that will have the quality & variety of food he prefers.

-Take short trips as our budget allows (camping, rock climbing, skiing, renting a cabin on Lake Michigan).

~Best to you, ddurkin! ~ I hope your spouse's move is an easy one

omG, completely at the top of my list! Tho our team is gonna get relegated next season almost (if not totally) for sure, and FSC only shows Premiership matches.

Now, you can get a muti-region DVD player, but I do know the tv formats are different. Does anyone know if the whole Pal/ntsc thing would be a probbo for dvds? I'm not a techno-person, so I really wouldn't know for sure...but one time (no not in band camp:P) D sent me a region free music vid dvd, and the damned thing just wouldn't play.

Granted that was years ago, so maybe it's better now

Edited February 6, 2006 by LisaD

[ddurkin 0]

thanks kaalyx- you and LisaD have some really good suggestions. it seems like its the little things that really go a long way in helping the nonUSC settle in- watching sports and movies from home, food from home, etc. I've already got Denis' favorite tea, i've found a store that sells his favorite beer, and arranged a couple other small touches that i think will go a long way.

good luck to you and your husband as he arrives---it's very exciting, isn't it?!?!

[Jaylen Brit 0]

....

Now, you can get a muti-region DVD player, but I do know the tv formats are different. Does anyone know if the whole Pal/ntsc thing would be a probbo for dvds? I'm not a techno-person, so I really wouldn't know for sure...but one time (no not in band camp:P) D sent me a region free music vid dvd, and the damned thing just wouldn't play.

Granted that was years ago, so maybe it's better now

You WILL need a tv capable of displaying PAL in the US (which as we know uses the NTSC display) - but you CAN, I've been reliably informed, get an 'adapter' for this without shelling out for another TV.

Also this is a problem with Playstation games - so bear that in mind if you are a player

DVDs still need players that are multi-region (you can get hacks for the players but they are so cheap its not worth using them - just get a multi-region player).

Hope that's helpful!

[daisy16 0]

You're already doing a lot to help the nonUSC, just by thinking about it. I know my husband never thought much about it, and if he had, it could have made a great deal of difference.

[Kaalyx 0]

Thank you, Jaylen and Lisa, for the info about multi-region DVD players! I was pretty clueless about what I would need to do, so your suggestions are truly appreciated.

And ddurkin, it really is exciting to do all this planning! It keeps me focused and puts a grin on my face. (Also, I was planning on bringing a bit of Ireland into our home too. We used to live together in Dublin and loved our time there, so I'm going to blow up some scenic pics he took in Galway and Dublin and frame them.)

Oh, and I'll be checking out Italian radio stations online. That's a great way to keep him connected with the news, latest music, etc. So many ways to make the US familiar! It doesn't have to be culture shock Here's hoping!

[rosyanne 0]

Be tolerant and appriciate. that's the key of marriage. If you know that you two love each other, you can over come anything! Sometimes you have to give up something in order to gain more!

[joej 0]

These ideas sound great.

Good Luck.

[aidan80 9]

The things that helped me get my head around the changes over here in the US when I arrived in November last year where…

 I ordered a multi region DVD player from eBay.. plays my PAL DVD’s perfect on an NTSC TV!.. having my own DVD’s from home was nice touch..

 Internet Radio & News helps quite a lot as did access to my local papers online.

 Bring your own stockpile of food stuffs like… Cadburys, HP Brown Sauce, Instant Gravy.. Curry Powder for chips.. all of which I failed to do and now regret…

 Obviously phoning home helped a lot.. I used 1010297 in FL before dialing home and got fairly decent rates on international calls.. it don’t work now for me but did about a week ago.. anyone recommend a good call card?

 Keeping in touch with friends & family and having them send over your favorite crisps, chocolate.. ect when supplies run low is always handy!

 Luckily for me.. my favorite beer is on sale everywhere in America.. Budweiser, although I found an Irish Pub that sells beers and ciders from back home… never thought I’d see Harp in Florida… even found Harp in the local supermarket.. oh I mean, Publix

 I brought a Flag with me which I intend to erect on the exterior of our house at some point along side the US flag.. which in a strange way makes me feel better and more at home.

I hope these things help.. they seem to have helped me out quite a lot while I’ve been here..

[Mand 1]

Those are great ideas, and we do a lot of that stuff here too. Every now and then I'll cook something traditional like spuds and stew, cabbage and I'd include bacon if I could find it (it's not what's referred to as bacon here...we call that streaky rashers!), apple tart or rhubarb tart, brown bread, shepherd's pie...that kinda thing.

And of course our family (they're not just mine anymore) and our friends there always keep us up to date with all the local gossip..Who's seeing who and all the usual stuff!!

And because he lived there too, he loves watching Father Ted too and appreciates the culture as much as I do.

It's nice to hear people making such an effort for their loved ones