Taking a break

[rebeccajo 14]

Saffrye ...

Paula was musing to me about more than just your post. So I apologize if you see it as something personal. It isn't.

If people PM'd you about how things look differently later, I hope you didn't take those as 'nasty'. There really is a phenomen with this process that makes the emotional roller-coaster easier to deal with as you move along through the system. It is a 'system' you know - it doesn't end after the visa is approved, and it doesn't end after you are reunited. There are many steps after that, and many adjustment for couples from blended cultures.

And if people were nasty because they don't think you've waited 'long enough' - well then - ignore that. 90% of the people on these boards won't even be posting here 6 months from now.

Edited March 18, 2008 by rebeccajo

[*JG* 2]

Saffyre, go and check out how many May, June and July filers waited 6 months and more. That's really stressful. and Rebeccajo is right. Just because we are past this point doesn't mean we don't remember. In fact, I think the process has scarred all of us. You must do whatever it takes to remain strong and patient. Someone is depending on you to be so. When Sasha and I got stressed we had to hold each other up with words of encouragement. And finally, after 220 days since filing, we will be together in less than a week! You've already made it through 40 days. I doubt you'll have to wait the full 6 months for approval. You're fortunate. if you would like some inspiration, I'd direct you to look at ZeeNusah's profile. Or OsLoraTam's profile. Or Charlene, or Virgillionaire..... See my point? Everything will work out.

Yep - i've seen some of your timelines and you guys are stronger than I think i'll ever be!

He doesn't get stressed about it, the stress is all mine. He is very chilled and just tells me to relax and 'go with the flow'......Grrrr

I am actually glad I was not on this board much when I was going through the initial K-1 stuff. Sure, I could've used some of the advice on filing. But, I think it would've driven me crazy to hear all the news every day.

I only checked my status once a week on line and I refused to check for touches every day. That is the only way I kept my sanity.

I completely understand what you are saying.

Hang in there. Soon it will be just be a memory!

How in the world did you do that? I have limited myself to three times a day on USCIS site, Morning, Noon and Night....but i'm just itching for my file to be 'touched' so I know they're doing something with it....Ehh I just got myself a second job though so maybe that'l keep me out of mischeif.

I did it easily. No matter how many times I looked at the darn site, it wasn't going to effect a thing. I saw no point in stressing over something I could no change in any, way, shape, or form. I had enough stress in my life. I worked 2 jobs. I made cards on the side. I talked to my SO. That was all enough.

[aravis227 1]

Saff-I completely understand where you're coming from. There are days when I don't think I can come back and read any of the posts here...where I think that if I read another VSC 25-day approval story I'm going to to scream. I hate to admit it, but there are days when I am so angry at everyone who got approved. I just can't quite bring myself to walk away...because sometimes I have good days (like today) where I am truly happy for everyone who is already approved, no matter how long it takes (not to say I'm not a little jealous...but still truly happy). Where every approval makes me hope and reminds me of all of the reasons I'm doing this.

Just because you haven't been waiting as long as others, doesn't make it any easier to see those approvals of people who filed after you. For the record, CSC has a HUGE problem with that, too. There were quite a few December approvals before November approvals. That's hard for everyone, no matter how long they've been waiting. The people who sent you mean PMs were completely out of line. If you need to take a break...then that's what you need to do. Everyone has to deal with this differently. I know the platitudes are well-meant...but some days they just make me want to scream...but what we're going through really is worth it. I pray your approval comes through soon and that tomorrow is a better day for you.

[Saffyre 0]

Saffrye ...

Paula was musing to me about more than just your post. So I apologize if you see it as something personal. It isn't.

If people PM'd you about how things look differently later, I hope you didn't take those as 'nasty'. There really is a phenomen with this process that makes the emotional roller-coaster easier to deal with as you move along through the system. It is a 'system' you know - it doesn't end after the visa approved, and it doesn't end after you are reunited. There are many steps after that, and many adjustment for couples from blended cultures.

And if people were nasty because they don't think you've waited 'long enough' - well then - ignore that. 90% of the people on these boards won't even be posting here 6 months from now.

Yes I should imagine that the spate of fast approvals from VSC has made this kind of post quite common and those of you who waited a good while are sick of reading it.

The PM's I got weren't misconstrued, and I had initially intended to just ignore them, but they were very blatantly mean. Not from anyone who has posted in this thread incidentely.

[Saffyre 0]

Saff-I completely understand where you're coming from. There are days when I don't think I can come back and read any of the posts here...where I think that if I read another VSC 25-day approval story I'm going to to scream. I hate to admit it, but there are days when I am so angry at everyone who got approved. I just can't quite bring myself to walk away...because sometimes I have good days (like today) where I am truly happy for everyone who is already approved, no matter how long it takes (not to say I'm not a little jealous...but still truly happy). Where every approval makes me hope and reminds me of all of the reasons I'm doing this.

Just because you haven't been waiting as long as others, doesn't make it any easier to see those approvals of people who filed after you. For the record, CSC has a HUGE problem with that, too. There were quite a few December approvals before November approvals. That's hard for everyone, no matter how long they've been waiting. The people who sent you mean PMs were completely out of line. If you need to take a break...then that's what you need to do. Everyone has to deal with this differently. I know the platitudes are well-meant...but some days they just make me want to scream...but what we're going through really is worth it. I pray your approval comes through soon and that tomorrow is a better day for you.

Thank you Aravis, you summed it up perfectly. Although honestly I don't feel any anger towards those who get approved early - just the person who approves them!! LOL

I know it's a huge problem, consistency across the board is out of whack, but really those PM's pusheds my buttons and so I just thought it was time I responded. Defended myself so to speak...

Saffyre, go and check out how many May, June and July filers waited 6 months and more. That's really stressful. and Rebeccajo is right. Just because we are past this point doesn't mean we don't remember. In fact, I think the process has scarred all of us. You must do whatever it takes to remain strong and patient. Someone is depending on you to be so. When Sasha and I got stressed we had to hold each other up with words of encouragement. And finally, after 220 days since filing, we will be together in less than a week! You've already made it through 40 days. I doubt you'll have to wait the full 6 months for approval. You're fortunate. if you would like some inspiration, I'd direct you to look at ZeeNusah's profile. Or OsLoraTam's profile. Or Charlene, or Virgillionaire..... See my point? Everything will work out.

Yep - i've seen some of your timelines and you guys are stronger than I think i'll ever be!

He doesn't get stressed about it, the stress is all mine. He is very chilled and just tells me to relax and 'go with the flow'......Grrrr

I am actually glad I was not on this board much when I was going through the initial K-1 stuff. Sure, I could've used some of the advice on filing. But, I think it would've driven me crazy to hear all the news every day.

I only checked my status once a week on line and I refused to check for touches every day. That is the only way I kept my sanity.

I completely understand what you are saying.

Hang in there. Soon it will be just be a memory!

How in the world did you do that? I have limited myself to three times a day on USCIS site, Morning, Noon and Night....but i'm just itching for my file to be 'touched' so I know they're doing something with it....Ehh I just got myself a second job though so maybe that'l keep me out of mischeif.

I did it easily. No matter how many times I looked at the darn site, it wasn't going to effect a thing. I saw no point in stressing over something I could no change in any, way, shape, or form. I had enough stress in my life. I worked 2 jobs. I made cards on the side. I talked to my SO. That was all enough.

Strong woman....i'll give it a shot but I don't fancy my chances. I can't quit smoking either...me and my addictions eh?

[rebeccajo 14]

Saffrye ...

Paula was musing to me about more than just your post. So I apologize if you see it as something personal. It isn't.

If people PM'd you about how things look differently later, I hope you didn't take those as 'nasty'. There really is a phenomen with this process that makes the emotional roller-coaster easier to deal with as you move along through the system. It is a 'system' you know - it doesn't end after the visa approved, and it doesn't end after you are reunited. There are many steps after that, and many adjustment for couples from blended cultures.

And if people were nasty because they don't think you've waited 'long enough' - well then - ignore that. 90% of the people on these boards won't even be posting here 6 months from now.

Yes I should imagine that the spate of fast approvals from VSC has made this kind of post quite common and those of you who waited a good while are sick of reading it.

The PM's I got weren't misconstrued, and I had initially intended to just ignore them, but they were very blatantly mean. Not from anyone who has posted in this thread incidentely.

Hon, I've been hearing it for years. It's got nothing to do with recent events.

Oh...we don't get 'sick' of reading them. We just try to help. It's only when people try to 'make it personal' that it becomes frustrating.

Edited March 18, 2008 by rebeccajo

[katand7 0]

You should do what is best for you. Everyone handles things differently. If you feel a break is a good choice for you then go for it. You don't owe anyone any apologies for your feelings.

That being said, I wish you luck and hope that your wait isn't too much longer. I'm years down the road from K-1 now and dealing with a different sort of waiting. Once you reach removal of conditions you can't even check your case status online really.........well you can, but you don't get much!

So hang in there, you will make it! I've been there before and remember when NOA2 came. You'll feel a lot of relief once that happens. The way you are feeling now is temporary, even if it doesn't seem like it.

Best wishes,

Kathleen

[Saffyre 0]

Saffrye ...

Paula was musing to me about more than just your post. So I apologize if you see it as something personal. It isn't.

If people PM'd you about how things look differently later, I hope you didn't take those as 'nasty'. There really is a phenomen with this process that makes the emotional roller-coaster easier to deal with as you move along through the system. It is a 'system' you know - it doesn't end after the visa approved, and it doesn't end after you are reunited. There are many steps after that, and many adjustment for couples from blended cultures.

And if people were nasty because they don't think you've waited 'long enough' - well then - ignore that. 90% of the people on these boards won't even be posting here 6 months from now.

Yes I should imagine that the spate of fast approvals from VSC has made this kind of post quite common and those of you who waited a good while are sick of reading it.

The PM's I got weren't misconstrued, and I had initially intended to just ignore them, but they were very blatantly mean. Not from anyone who has posted in this thread incidentely.

Hon, I've been hearing it for years. It's got nothing to do with recent events.

Oh...we don't get 'sick' of reading them. We just try to help. It's only when people try to 'make it personal' that it becomes frustrating.

Well, I hope I haven't done that..

[L & P 0]

I am exactly the same way saffyre ....but can not help myself to check less than 3 times a day ....so you doing good...keep it up;)

[mox 298]

How in the world did you do that? I have limited myself to three times a day on USCIS site, Morning, Noon and Night....but i'm just itching for my file to be 'touched' so I know they're doing something with it

Let me help you out a little here:

- It's *waaay* to early to expect a touch. It aint gonna happen.

- Touches mean nothing. Zip, zilch, nada. Some people get touches before approval, some do not. Some people get random touches and aren't approved for many more weeks or months. You cannot tell anything about your case from a touch, and you only add to your stress by putting any meaning into one if you get it. So spare yourself from this burden. Touches are going to be as accurate a predictor of an approval as reading tea leaves or throwing chicken bones. Go drink some tea or kill a chicken if you must, but stop looking for touches.

The PM's I got weren't misconstrued, and I had initially intended to just ignore them, but they were very blatantly mean. Not from anyone who has posted in this thread incidentely.

Those people are asses. As RJ recommends, ignore them and put them on your block list. The type of people who won't post their nasty comments in public (because they know they'd be slammed down hard) are not the type of people to put any worth into. Sorry you had to endure that.

[Saffyre 0]

You should do what is best for you. Everyone handles things differently. If you feel a break is a good choice for you then go for it. You don't owe anyone any apologies for your feelings.

That being said, I wish you luck and hope that your wait isn't too much longer. I'm years down the road from K-1 now and dealing with a different sort of waiting. Once you reach removal of conditions you can't even check your case status online really.........well you can, but you don't get much!

So hang in there, you will make it! I've been there before and remember when NOA2 came. You'll feel a lot of relief once that happens. The way you are feeling now is temporary, even if it doesn't seem like it.

Best wishes,

Kathleen

Thanks! and bizarrely I look forward to waiting for that - because at least i'll be with Toby while i'm waiting!! Maybe I have seperation anxiety - you know like pets left when their ownders go on holiday!! LMAO!! Kidding of course...

[L & P 0]

check how long i have been waiting sapphire;)

[rebeccajo 14]

Saffrye ...

Paula was musing to me about more than just your post. So I apologize if you see it as something personal. It isn't.

If people PM'd you about how things look differently later, I hope you didn't take those as 'nasty'. There really is a phenomen with this process that makes the emotional roller-coaster easier to deal with as you move along through the system. It is a 'system' you know - it doesn't end after the visa approved, and it doesn't end after you are reunited. There are many steps after that, and many adjustment for couples from blended cultures.

And if people were nasty because they don't think you've waited 'long enough' - well then - ignore that. 90% of the people on these boards won't even be posting here 6 months from now.

Yes I should imagine that the spate of fast approvals from VSC has made this kind of post quite common and those of you who waited a good while are sick of reading it.

The PM's I got weren't misconstrued, and I had initially intended to just ignore them, but they were very blatantly mean. Not from anyone who has posted in this thread incidentely.

Hon, I've been hearing it for years. It's got nothing to do with recent events.

Oh...we don't get 'sick' of reading them. We just try to help. It's only when people try to 'make it personal' that it becomes frustrating.

Well, I hope I haven't done that..

No. Not really.

[L & P 0]

right now I am feeling right down ....and I am the one who need to take a break

[aravis227 1]

Thanks! and bizarrely I look forward to waiting for that - because at least i'll be with Toby while i'm waiting!! Maybe I have seperation anxiety - you know like pets left when their ownders go on holiday!! LMAO!! Kidding of course...

I keep thinking that, too! But I'm sure once I get there I'll probably be anxious about that, too. Hopefully not as anxious as I am about the K-1, though. I think I'm just very goal oriented...too many years of video gaming or something.