k-1 gone bad I want her out asap

[TinTin and Samby 11]

I think all he is looking for is a sympathy party and i dont feel bad for him at all! And i Dont think he could of really been in love with her! Did he really love her? Or did he love how young she was and how she looked?

how dare you?! who gives a damn what you 'think'? this isn't a thread for us all to give our disinterested opinions on, like who's going to win the Superbowl... this is a real person with a real problem who has asked for help

you've NEVER made an error of judgement, Corey-Mariya? you've NEVER formed an impression of someone, good or bad, which later turned out to be incorrect? you've NEVER wanted something to turn out right, so persisted with it even when a little voice was whispering you might be wrong about that? lay your perfect life and perfect choices bare for us all to read, and then we'll all tell you what we 'think' of you

as for the 'retarded' comment - words fail me

get some compassion, or shut up

in fact, just shut up; I haven't seen a word of sense posted by you in any thread

Amen!

[Mags 112]

There has been no mention of a scam. Please don't automatically assume that unless the OP indicates this is the case. It could be a simply a of lack of attraction, personality differences or that it just didn't work out.

It is simple. You not married to this scammer during the 90 day k1 visa perios = not your problem, stop worrying about her, report her to ICE and let them know you are not getting married and what happened, let her find her own way back home, wash her off your hands and out the front door of your home, she made her choice.

You got married to this scammer before the end of the 90 day K1 expires = better get a divorce asap and get a lawyer for you have some complex issues in your life now to deal with and probably some expenses.

Best of luck.

To make a long story short, I want her sent back asap. I dont have the money to send her back right away. I dont feel that she deserves even an extended vacation here at the costs that this has already brought to me. Its going to be two months before I can get a ticket for her to go back. Can I just call immigration and they come and get her? Maybe they can bill me? What can I do to get her on a plane back to her home country as soon as possible???

[Nessa 23]

No offenses either but thoses cases are i think expected when for example you have 25 yrs difference or someone really heavy with a tiny young adult all cute and fancy from poorer countries.

I do not know what is your situation.

I saw some picts on the gallery that sometime..... i wonder about the honnesty of all that.

I have seen couples like you're describing above.. here.. both usc. Some people like older men/women and some ppl like some "curves" lol

No offense, I get what youre saying but....come on!

THIS is a perfect example of why I have taken all my pics out of the gallery. Too many judgmental people who look at them and make comments like this. Some brazen enough to address certain people directly about their photos. UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE.

To the OP...IMHO you could have phrased your opening post with a bit more discretion. I do believe it would have avoided this onslaught of judgment towards you. I am sorry this has happened to you. If you have not married this person and she leaves to go with this friend you mentioned, then count yourself lucky. She cannot adjust status without marriage to you, she will be out of status after 90 days, and you have nothing further to worry about. Let her find her own way home.

ditto on the judgemental people. That pisses the he!! outta me.

and ditto on her finding her way home. Good luck to the OP.

[Habilus 0]

It is a violation of the sacntity of ones life to give someone your complete trust and invite them to share a life together, only to have them emotionally devistate you, finaciallly destroy you, physically exhaust you and invade your home like an occupying army. This I can speak from experience.

So I can understand the ease at which the original poster made the statement "I want her out ASAP."

Every few months, I get a chance to sleep in till 6:00 AM. I work a full time job, have a full time business and two wonderful children. I haven't had a day off since October 05. I keep spare clothes, tools, a parka and my guitar in my very used Suburban. When I have the time I'll play a few songs and dream of toy boats on makebelieve seas in the parking lot at Costco. After two and a half years, my coffee house is finally making a little money. It's enough to keep me out of bankruptcy. It will be a long hard struggle back.

I reurn each night to a filthy home and a "wife" who has slept half the day. When she does greet me at the door, it's with her hand out. When I give her every dollar I can spare, she walks away, shaking her head in disgust. She can't be bothered with bills and debt, American Idol is on. The frozen chicken pot pie can give me a thousand calories, ready in 6 minutes. I'll need them all.

ASAP would have been a blessing, but I wasn't so lucky. The three years I've been "married" to her have been devistating. Her visa will expire in three months.

[TracyTN 237]

What sort of visa did she emigrate with?

[pokernut 0]

I met my fiance online in Sept 2006 and flew to meet her in Oct 2006. She broke up with me about three months later and then a couple months after that told me she made a mistake and wanted me to take her back. My gut feeling said to give it some time, and I did take 4 months after that before I filed the k-1. She was not overly enthusiastic about chatting, but we did chat and did send emails almost daily. She was somewhat reserved in her emails, and I took that as just how she was. It bothered me that she didnt ask or set up the next time to chat and things like that. She would send one email, but not return to send more etc. I had a lot of doubts about her. I sent her money the entire time from when we first met in Sept 2006. It bothered me a little when I was trying to book a plane for her, and she was asking to stay there longer by about 3 weeks. It seemed a little odd to me. There were many little clues that she wasnt as interested in me as she should be for a k-1 visa, but I convinced myself enough to believe that was how she was. She was always busy with family and friends, and I never felt like I was a priority in her life that I should be. I know I had a lot of wishful thinking. Well when she got here, it was clear very soon she was here to get a job and that was her reason for coming, and that she didnt care for me. Sometimes it seemed like maybe she was confused. She was homesick also. She didnt want intimacy with me, but wanted me to pay the way for her to get established here. What irritated me the most, was that she ignored me, and just didnt show anything in the way of affection. She had it right when she broke up with me the first time, but she decided to lie to me to come here. I dont know what she thought it would be like when she got here, but of course this didnt work out. I put her on a plane today after only two weeks, and I went through a wide range of emotions. I could have filed a fraud case on her with the evidence that I had, but I didnt want to deal with the govt. I just put her on a plane back, and she also wanted to return since I wasnt going to pay her way on a "friends" basis. If I were ever to do anything like this again, I would find the time to go and visit more than once, and also spend time with my fiance. I would seriously consider marriage in the foriegn country as well. I have burned up my two k-1s now, and that also irritated me to burn one on a flake job. Im pretty sad and disappointed at the wasted time and resources on this. Im also sad that she has wasted what I think was a wonderful opportunity for her. Im going to spend some time working on myself and things I need to get done, and maybe I will take another shot, but Ive learned that hoping and wishing something to be, are not the same as seeing things as they really are. The sooner you can accept the truth of your situation, the better off you are. In some ways I think when I got her plane ticket, I was making a "crying call", making the last bet since there is so much already in the pot. Im very sad today. Edited March 29, 2008 by pokernut

[LaL 418]

Continuation of topic merged with newly created thread.

[R de la R 2]

I am very sorry about what happened to you, but not all women are the same as not all men.

I would recommend you to take some time off and put your feelings and emotions in order. I don´t know your age but try to find somebody over the 30´s because women on that age knows what they want.

women on the 20´s they are not mature enough.

This is just what I think.

[little white guy 0]

This is ridiculous! The OP suggested that he didn't have the money right now. He isn't shirking his repsonsibility. Give him some slack, people!

And if it is true that this woman deceived him into a relationship for immigrant benefit alone, she is breaking immigration law. Does she deserve more consideration that the "host" or "victim" she preyed upon?

I'm sorry mermaid my friend, but in my world people are NOT disposable. If the OP thinks they are, well, certainly I'll agree to disagree.

I have no pity for her either but I don't know her side of the story and am not about to take the OP's word for gospel when it's filled with bad vibes and thinking that his former fiance (or now spouse or whatever) is like a broken DVD player. If that's the way he thinks.... well...

I am not passing judgment on the alien or the OP, but I am interested in the visceral responses. What I am interested in is knowing where the threshhold lies? If a DVD player is "broken" we have no issue with returning it to the store. We have come to "expect" it to perform. If someone preys upon another, are they not a "broken" person?

Mermaid, if you're looking for an argument you chose the wrong person. I gave -and sustain- my opinion on the matter; and if you or anyone else does not like it, that is not my problem. I don't have to explain my responses to you or anyone else.

Peace out, L.

Brush it off mermaid. If all you have is one eye ya sure can't see out of the other.

End it with a childess statement such as "peace out" well then thats a whole "nother"

story. Many times people jump, claw, condem and just plan run thier mouth based

on something posted without even trying to be a "human being". They enjoy being

some kinda animal. People DO post things when upset and NO many times you will

not know the real reason why. So off we go in a rush to judge someone over upset

posted words you or me don't realy know the truth about. Would you jump and judge

him or her to thier face over this?. No don't think so. Can you do it on a web page,

heck ya, thats easy. Wonder sometimes if posts people sink thier claws into with so

much passion with no understanding at all maybe see something about

thierself. One eye blind and can't see out the other. You can't wait for the punch line

to be posted as to why they said what they did thats your problem. Yours alone.

[Mags 112]

Get back on track people, please. Thanks.

[Habilus 0]

I am very sorry about what happened to you, but not all women are the same as not all men.

I would recommend you to take some time off and put your feelings and emotions in order. I don´t know your age but try to find somebody over the 30´s because women on that age knows what they want.

women on the 20´s they are not mature enough.

This is just what I think.

Age offers little assurance of maturity. My "wife" is 36, but acts like an impetuous teenager.

[sj5 4]

She is not a dog! you should purchase ticket for her without calling ICE of whoever you want to call if she refused to leaved then call ICE or whoever handling your case.

You're the one brought her in USA and now you're afraid if they're going to send you bill when they will take her away. did USCIS

lured you to bring alien in your homeland with the promises money back guarantee if don't work out.

[Chuckles 0]

Pokernut, I'm saddened by your story. But please, do not "try this again". Before you do anything, get some counseling. It might sound stupid, but it can help. You have work on a few things with yourself, I suspect, before you are ready for a fufilling relationship.

There is nothing wrong with what you did (IMO), it isn't a crime to be lonely or desperate. Apparantly some people in this thread think it is... but your intentions were sincere. Put some of that energy you used back into yourself, and maybe look at some local personals.

I wish you the best of luck.

[melusine 5]

I am happy pokernut that you try your best to see the reality of it and seem to accept it even if you go through a hard time. When you think about it, you will probably realise also that this girl was wasting your time and sooner the better. Now that she is gone, do as you said, and make yourself a priority.

Good luck for everything good to come !

[David-and-Mae 15]

I am very sorry about what happened to you, but not all women are the same as not all men.

I would recommend you to take some time off and put your feelings and emotions in order. I don´t know your age but try to find somebody over the 30´s because women on that age knows what they want.

women on the 20´s they are not mature enough.

This is just what I think.

Age offers little assurance of maturity. My "wife" is 36, but acts like an impetuous teenager.

I'm on my late 20's but my husband said I am more matured in so many ways than a 30+ or 40+ woman. It is all about compatibility for a relationship/marriage to be successful.

@pokernut,

Sorry that things didn't work out for you. At this point in time, you really need to let your heart heals up. Don't go looking for love, let love finds you. Sometimes, it could take longer than expected for it to come but you'll find out that the best things in life are the ones that you've patiently waited for.

Good luck!

She is not a dog! you should purchase ticket for her without calling ICE of whoever you want to call if she refused to leaved then call ICE or whoever handling your case.

You're the one brought her in USA and now you're afraid if they're going to send you bill when they will take her away. did USCIS

lured you to bring alien in your homeland with the promises money back guarantee if don't work out.

Chill out, girl... he already sent her home...

--Mae