k-1 gone bad I want her out asap

[Chica Yeyé 41]

This is ridiculous! The OP suggested that he didn't have the money right now. He isn't shirking his repsonsibility. Give him some slack, people!

And if it is true that this woman deceived him into a relationship for immigrant benefit alone, she is breaking immigration law. Does she deserve more consideration that the "host" or "victim" she preyed upon?

I'm sorry mermaid my friend, but in my world people are NOT disposable. If the OP thinks they are, well, certainly I'll agree to disagree.

I have no pity for her either but I don't know her side of the story and am not about to take the OP's word for gospel when it's filled with bad vibes and thinking that his former fiance (or now spouse or whatever) is like a broken DVD player. If that's the way he thinks.... well...

[diadromous mermaid 36]

This is ridiculous! The OP suggested that he didn't have the money right now. He isn't shirking his repsonsibility. Give him some slack, people!

And if it is true that this woman deceived him into a relationship for immigrant benefit alone, she is breaking immigration law. Does she deserve more consideration that the "host" or "victim" she preyed upon?

I'm sorry mermaid my friend, but in my world people are NOT disposable. If the OP thinks they are, well, certainly I'll agree to disagree.

I have no pity for her either but I don't know her side of the story and am not about to take the OP's word for gospel when it's filled with bad vibes and thinking that his former fiance (or now spouse or whatever) is like a broken DVD player. If that's the way he thinks.... well...

I am not passing judgment on the alien or the OP, but I am interested in the visceral responses. What I am interested in is knowing where the threshhold lies? If a DVD player is "broken" we have no issue with returning it to the store. We have come to "expect" it to perform. If someone preys upon another, are they not a "broken" person?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

This is ridiculous! The OP suggested that he didn't have the money right now. He isn't shirking his repsonsibility. Give him some slack, people!

And if it is true that this woman deceived him into a relationship for immigrant benefit alone, she is breaking immigration law. Does she deserve more consideration that the "host" or "victim" she preyed upon?

I'm sorry mermaid my friend, but in my world people are NOT disposable. If the OP thinks they are, well, certainly I'll agree to disagree.

I have no pity for her either but I don't know her side of the story and am not about to take the OP's word for gospel when it's filled with bad vibes and thinking that his former fiance (or now spouse or whatever) is like a broken DVD player. If that's the way he thinks.... well...

I am not passing judgment on the alien or the OP, but I am interested in the visceral responses. What I am interested in is knowing where the threshhold lies? If a DVD player is "broken" we have no issue with returning it to the store. We have come to "expect" it to perform. If someone preys upon another, are they not a "broken" person?

Mermaid, if you're looking for an argument you chose the wrong person. I gave -and sustain- my opinion on the matter; and if you or anyone else does not like it, that is not my problem. I don't have to explain my responses to you or anyone else.

Peace out, L.

Edited March 17, 2008 by Len_and_Bren

[BigCityDave 0]

This entire case makes me kind of sick and it is horrible that such a thing could happen. We of course do not know the story.

All I can say is sorry that is horrible. Hopefully you can find a solution. Borrow some money from a friend or relative to buy a plane ticket. Discuss matters with the individual in an adult kind way.

Thats all I have to say.

[MrsCat 6]

I am not passing judgment on the alien or the OP, but I am interested in the visceral responses. What I am interested in is knowing where the threshhold lies? If a DVD player is "broken" we have no issue with returning it to the store. We have come to "expect" it to perform. If someone preys upon another, are they not a "broken" person?

I think the bottom line is simple, if the petitioner believes that he has been duped, then does he have an obligation to report the nature of the dishonesty to the respective authorities?

I guess someone would have to read the chat logs and make that determination on their own, we cannot suppose what the authorities will do with the information. As was stated above, he has to make the decision whether he is going to report her or not. If he can come up with money for a ticket, then that is an action he is going to have to decide to take. He cannot force her onto a plane however.

I would rather avoid the discussion of whether a person is disposable or not, or whether a person can be compared to a defective object.

The facts that we know are:

1) Its illegal to come to the US under false pretenses

2) The petitioner's feelings for the beneficiary have changed

3) The petitioner would like the beneficiary to leave

His options are fairly simple in my opinion:

1) Call the authorities, and let them handle their business

2) Contact immigration and tell them that he no longer supports this petition

3) Discuss his concerns with her, and request that she leave on her own. Provide a copy of the documents, and perhaps read over them together to clarify anything that might be misconstrued (sounds like its pretty obvious though).

To me, all of the above are things that he should do. But perhaps if he does #3 first, this may solve a few of his problems sooner than later (she may just leave). Trying to do things through the back door in my life experience always take longer and create more hardship.

If what he has stated is true and feels completely lied to, even if the logs are not reflective of what he feels they are, this relationship is doomed. If his first reaction wasn't to confront her with the evidence, and discuss it like a true fiancee would, then the relationship doesn't have a solid foundation to begin with. A house built on sand. . . .

[pushbrk 12,877]

Man, I see an awful lot of hatred beig spewed in this topic. The "moral superiority" of some of these repliers makes me want to vomit! People's you dont know the situation. The guy is asking for info. Is that not what this board is for? Check all that "judgemental attitude" at the damn door!

-Samby

Sorry but I'm unable to do that.

This site IS personal....I can't be supportive and just say "Sorry about your luck!" when I feel so strongly on a subject.

It sucks this happened and I agree...if she really did do this, shame on her.

If not, well the rest speaks for itself.

I agree with CraigCam as well.

At first this was all the information I had and I reacted to it, then I saw the second post about the scam, etc.

Still, no matter what this person has done, they are still a human being, you can't just ship her back like she's damaged merchandise you ordered from a store, doesn't work that way.

"I can't?" Of course you can. Nobody is forcing anybody to hit the reply button and start typing. Let's stick to the topic please, not the people posting. If you can't check the personal judgments at the door, stay outside the door.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Man, I see an awful lot of hatred beig spewed in this topic. The "moral superiority" of some of these repliers makes me want to vomit! People's you dont know the situation. The guy is asking for info. Is that not what this board is for? Check all that "judgemental attitude" at the damn door!

-Samby

Sorry but I'm unable to do that.

This site IS personal....I can't be supportive and just say "Sorry about your luck!" when I feel so strongly on a subject.

It sucks this happened and I agree...if she really did do this, shame on her.

If not, well the rest speaks for itself.

I agree with CraigCam as well.

At first this was all the information I had and I reacted to it, then I saw the second post about the scam, etc.

Still, no matter what this person has done, they are still a human being, you can't just ship her back like she's damaged merchandise you ordered from a store, doesn't work that way.

"I can't?" Of course you can. Nobody is forcing anybody to hit the reply button and start typing. Let's stick to the topic please, not the people posting. If you can't check the personal judgments at the door, stay outside the door.

Follow your own advice Sir Push.- you seem to be taking an "I will show you how to post/behave/think attitude. Could you leave that outside the door please? And stick to the topic?

[pushbrk 12,877]

Man, I see an awful lot of hatred beig spewed in this topic. The "moral superiority" of some of these repliers makes me want to vomit! People's you dont know the situation. The guy is asking for info. Is that not what this board is for? Check all that "judgemental attitude" at the damn door!

-Samby

Sorry but I'm unable to do that.

This site IS personal....I can't be supportive and just say "Sorry about your luck!" when I feel so strongly on a subject.

It sucks this happened and I agree...if she really did do this, shame on her.

If not, well the rest speaks for itself.

I agree with CraigCam as well.

At first this was all the information I had and I reacted to it, then I saw the second post about the scam, etc.

Still, no matter what this person has done, they are still a human being, you can't just ship her back like she's damaged merchandise you ordered from a store, doesn't work that way.

"I can't?" Of course you can. Nobody is forcing anybody to hit the reply button and start typing. Let's stick to the topic please, not the people posting. If you can't check the personal judgments at the door, stay outside the door.

Follow your own advice Sir Push.- you seem to be taking an "I will show you how to post/behave/think attitude. Could you leave that outside the door please? And stick to the topic?

My on topic replies are already posted.

[Niels Bohr 72]

The people who are doing this don't really have any conscious at all. It'll come back to haunt them.

[BigCityDave 0]

The people who are doing this don't really have any conscious at all. It'll come back to haunt them.

Life is full of hardships. We must remember that too. Hopefully this person can find a solution and find some peace.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

No offenses either but thoses cases are i think expected when for example you have 25 yrs difference or someone really heavy with a tiny young adult all cute and fancy from poorer countries.

I do not know what is your situation.

I saw some picts on the gallery that sometime..... i wonder about the honnesty of all that.

I have seen couples like you're describing above.. here.. both usc. Some people like older men/women and some ppl like some "curves" lol

No offense, I get what youre saying but....come on!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Life is full of hardships. We must remember that too. Hopefully this person can find a solution and find some peace.

Amen. you have spoken wisely Dave.

[belinda63 3,038]

his words were harsh but his point was valid

She has spent a year playing with his emotions and using his money, why should he not want to send her back...all she did was use him for an entry into the US.

Should she get to stay here because she lied and deceived a man for a year? Should her lies gain her admission to our country? What else did she lie about? Now that she is here if she disappears it may be years before immigration finds her.

Wow a free stay in the US and the honest ppl can't get their SOs here and you wonder why he wants to send her back?

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

I'm sorry mermaid my friend, but in my world people are NOT disposable. If the OP thinks they are, well, certainly I'll agree to disagree.

I don't think anybody is proposing to put her out with the garbage. I don't think asking somebody to return home is considered "disposing of". The K-1 visa/AOS process is long, tedious, and somewhat costly when it's all added up. There has to be some mutual trust and honor among the people involved. It's almost like a contract or a pact. If one party breaks the pact, the whole thing is void.

Personally, if I was lied to and deceived for over a year and learned the truth once she arrived here, she would be on the next plane back home. And buying that ticket would be the best money I'd have ever spent. It would be done purely out of revenge and anger, but I have no problem with that.

And to those of you who want to say "who do you think you are?" ...... I'm the guy who brought her over here thinking she really loved me, only to be made to look like a fool. I don't know about anybody else, but I don't let people take advantage of me and get away with it.

[Seattle2Cebu 0]

good luck

Edited March 17, 2008 by Seattle2Cebu