More or less freqeunt arguements when away from SO

[Jack and Barbara 0]

Has anyone found themselves and their significant others aruging more on the phone/online,etc in-between visits or before getting married? I don't know why (maybe it's because we miss each other and long-distance isn't the same) but it seems more recently me and my fiancee have been arguing more (about stupid stuff usually). What are your experiences?

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Nick and I seem to get "nit picky" with one another RIGHT before a visit....I think it's the tension, the excitement and the stresses of wanting to be together that kind of boil to the surface...we don't fight, but we'll get impatient with one another and we'll take opposite sides on a topic and have heated discussions.

I wouldn't say we are arguing though, I wouldn't call it that and we aren't angry or upset with each other either..it's hard to describe. Then when we get together...LOL ahh! release! LOL

I'm sorry you are fighting with your SO....

Have you guys talked about this openly, no doubt it's the distance....

I would only start to worry if he was disrespecting you or not talking to you as much, etc. etc.

Other than that, talk about how you feel.

Do you guys web cam at all?

Plan a "date" night, just the two of you....make the same meal and eat together on web cam. Maybe watch the same movie together. Play an online game together. Pick a book to read and discuss afterwards. Talk about your wedding! Talk about how you'll decorate the house!!!

You are very close to being together...focus on that and forget the small stuff!

I wish you all the luck hon!!

~Laura

Edited March 16, 2008 by ~Laura and Nick~

[Jack and Barbara 0]

We actually did get a webcam when she was still in the States finishing up on a student visa. That lasted 1 monoth until she returned home and there is no Internet at home so we usually just talk to each other every night and longer on weekends over the phone.

She has had some problems with her family recently, which I think is adding stress to the situation as well as me planning a reception dinner here for the civil wedding (there will be a religious ceremony in her country later) and her not feeling as involved with it. The hard part is involving her with something that she cannot physically see (I tried sending pictures of different restaurants).

In some of these "arguements" you can see differences in culture and family values as we both have different things that we value more (independence for me vs family for her). I have feeling other VJers experience these differences which are definitely good don't get me wrong, but can lead to frustrating and time-wasting arguements IMHO.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I can't lie, we argue far more together than apart. In our very first hours together after our last separation, we got into a terrible fight about a Volvo he wanted to buy. But let's see, been married 3.5 years, together for 4.5. Eh, you deal or you don't.

Edited March 16, 2008 by Wacken

[Jack and Barbara 0]

yea, I think a lot is the separation, though we have had some good arguements together too. Looking forward for more to come

[Jeraly 4]

We argue a fair amount - we used to argue more but as we have settled into the long distance relationship it has gotten easier - maybe because we have both matured and realise that we are working towards a common goal and we are both doing everything we can to be together.

We argue over loads of things - I couldn't even tell you what because most of it is stupid unimportant stuff. There are differences in culture though. I come from a reasonably well off background (not rich by any standards but we are comfortable) where Jeremy has grown up living in trailers/tents/sofas of friends houses. He has had to eat out of bins when he was a child growing up because his mom couldn't afford to feed them. So yeah - there is a *huge* difference there - quite simply I just cannot comprehend being that poor, or being that poor and not being able to do something about it. I find it very frustrating when I see his family struggle and I don't understand why they can't work to make a better life for themselves.

They just don't know any different and have settled into it as being their life - this is all they know and prolly always will know. Jeremy has never wanted to settle for that and has made a really good go of getting out of this rut - he has been brilliant and I am full of admiration for him

Sure - I bet we are going to have some monster arguments when we live together *remembers storming off into the mountains one summer... can't remember why * but we have come so far and been through so much that I know we will make it through whatever life throws at us

[Malarie 0]

Has anyone found themselves and their significant others aruging more on the phone/online,etc in-between visits or before getting married? I don't know why (maybe it's because we miss each other and long-distance isn't the same) but it seems more recently me and my fiancee have been arguing more (about stupid stuff usually). What are your experiences?

Its the process... the waiting...your lives on hold for the moment ... it is very difficult and can make or break a relationship. This process is grueling and truly if you and your SO is meant to be then it will only make you a stronger couple in the end.

Is there any way that your fiance can get the internet in her home - or is this not a possibility? The ability to chat and use the webcam does help sooo much.

Be strong -- you can make it until this summer keep in mind that it is only a couple of months

Good Luck!!

Malarie

[Jack and Barbara 0]

Its the process... the waiting...your lives on hold for the moment ... it is very difficult and can make or break a relationship. This process is grueling and truly if you and your SO is meant to be then it will only make you a stronger couple in the end.

I completley agree. We have been at this long distance thing for over 2 years now and definitely believe that what we have gone through will make us stronger in the long run. I believe we have lerned to communicate better because you have to over a long distance but I think we are just going through a rut right now and need to get back to remembering why we are doing this in the first place.

Is there any way that your fiance can get the internet in her home - or is this not a possibility? The ability to chat and use the webcam does help sooo much.

No, we've looked into Internet there but it isn't affordable. Though, as oyu mentioned, we only have about 4 months left until we'll be reunited, which isn't much considering the time we've been apart.

Thanks for the support!

[KarenCee 3]

I can honestly say we never argued, never had a cross word during the whole time we were going through the K1 or the times we were separated. We communicated EVERY DAY. We've had a few tense moments since he's been here, but that was mostly adjustment. Even Canadians have adjustment periods. Anyhoo, it's not been anything major, nothing that neither one of us considers serious. Certainly nothing that ever merited separation or worse. LDR's are hard, regardless of where you're from.

[melusine 5]

We don't argue, sometime we do not agree on a subject but we always find a way to make each of our point understood by the other one. We talk about this, about that, about our life together etc.

Also, My sweet is one of the most diplomatic person i have ever met (my diplomaty skill is fine but not always as his !) so it helps tremendously.

Sometime, i am just grumpy and i say it so we talk about easier and exciting subjects for both of us.

You know it's very hard to argue alone.....

If the one in front of you is quite calm and really listen to you, you will not feel like arguing/fighting much

[Ngoc-Anh 1]

most of the time it is the stress over the whole K1 process too! It is really nerve wrecking!! Hang in there

[StillThePrettiest 3]

You know it's very hard to argue alone.....

If the one in front of you is quite calm and really listen to you, you will not feel like arguing/fighting much

wise words

[zqt3344 21]

It is a female thing, what is new, they all love to argue or ride a man's A _ _ at some point in time or the other, get used it and realize it only gets worse after you get married big boy.

Has anyone found themselves and their significant others aruging more on the phone/online,etc in-between visits or before getting married? I don't know why (maybe it's because we miss each other and long-distance isn't the same) but it seems more recently me and my fiancee have been arguing more (about stupid stuff usually). What are your experiences?

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

It is a female thing, what is new, they all love to argue or ride a man's A _ _ at some point in time or the other, get used it and realize it only gets worse after you get married big boy.

[Krikit 1,164]

LOL. Yeah. Just goes to show that there really are people who haven't woken up to the fact that they bring on their own @ss-riding.

Edited March 18, 2008 by Crikey!