For the Unworking and Childless Foreign Wife

[TheATeam 0]

Yeah, for us it has nothing to do with having so much money that I don't have to work. I'm going to have to work, but I'm obviously not going to do so until I'm legal!

[Brian&Mel 0]

When I was there for 6 weeks, this is my typical schedule:

Morning

Make breakfast for hubby, either send hubby to work or he walked to work. Go back to bed, wake up and then breakfast. watch TV and then start preparing for lunch.

Afternoon

Huby come home for lunch. Then send hubby back to office. Grocery shopping or window shoping. Or else I will bake cookies or muffin. Laundry and cleaning house.

Evening

Watch TV, prepare dinner. Pick hubby up from office. Go home and have dinner. Shower and more TV. Hubby will be too tired to go out. But we do go out from time to time for ice cream or movies. Or just window shopping.

Thats my typical day. We have munches on Wednesday with friends. Saturday is more relaxing, we will go for breakfast outside or Saturday market. Or else we will just spend time at home- he will be busy with his gadget stuff and I will either read or watch TV.

And yes, I have been thinking about working too once I am in the states. Hubby said I can either work or go back to school. Just keeping our option open at the moment.

[Nessa 23]

if you're wealthy you can always redecorate the house

[The Robinsons 0]

If you live in a bad neighbourhood you can sit and stare out of the window to make sure all the hood rats that run up and down the street don't steal the rims off your car....

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Oh my. I hope you all have some wealthy fiances. Sounds like a lot of hobbies and freetime here. Might I suggest some crosswords, watching water boil, catching flies, counting leaves, etc. I'm joking of course. You all should take some time to adjust and make future plans. I'd give Sasha all the time she wants. But, she's very eager to continue working and help contribute. I'm such a lucky guy. though, I will try to keep her from working for the first month or 2. Don't know if she'll agree.

I'd love nothing more than to be able to contribute towards the household finances but unfortunately I, and everyone else here, will have to wait for EAD to be able to legally bring money home.

As it is, as soon as I get a job Alex is looking into going into part-time or full-time study, so I'm eventually going to end up supporting him.

But, thank you for making me feel worse about the whole situation than I already am...

Edited March 16, 2008 by Alex & Rachel

[TheATeam 0]

Oh Rachel, don't feel worse! Not being able to work is something that we can't do anything about. If it makes you feel any better, I've been watching and EAD seems to be coming a lot faster than it used to! Hopefully that will be a good thing. I know how you feel though. I know that I feel a little guilty about the fact that I'm going to enjoy not working, at least for a little while.

[Team J and B 2]

Thanks for the replies, everyone! I'm glad it brought out some personal experiences and got others - who haven't moved to the USA yet - to think about things like this. It's been a fun thread to read.

Half the people on this site are non-Americans so it's always interesting to get everyone's perspectives since we are all in the same boat - whether we're Canadian, Pakistani, or Swedish.

As to counting leaves, hm, I know you're just joking, mate. Thing is, for some people, other things take priority. For others, they need to worry about finding work right away. It's just whatever is makes more financial sense for each family. We are fortunate that I can focus on house hunting (in crazy San Fran), researching what car I want, getting used to living like an American, making our home, and focusing on my (unpaid) passion.

No one should feel bad about either having to bring home two full time paycheques, or just one, or none. Some are financially secure, some need time to build up to that level. So no, it's not that I think as women we can depend on our American sugar daddies and just become Stepford wives. I've worked all my life. Now that I'll be moving to a new country there's a whole sh1tload of stuff I need to learn from scratch so a break is well-deserved.

And plus, he makes the living, but I make his life worth living. 'Sall I'm sayin.

Plus, I just learned you only get a few weeks maternity leave in the USA? That's whack.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Sorry - I overreacted a little there! I'm just a little sensitive to the suggestion that I expecting to depend on Alex when I've worked hard to be independent.

Thank you, TheATeam - and I hope EAD does come in fast, too!

It's going to be hard in the beginning and I'm really determined that financial problems aren't going to get in the way of our marriage. Honestly, what's mine is his and what's his is mine when we're married - I don't want either of us to feel guilty about one earning less than the other because no doubt there's going to be periods when he's supporting me and vice versa.

Team J and B - an excellent post there And yes, I hear maternity leave sucks, too - although I suppose it depends on the company you work for.

[bora bora 1]

My husband hated not being able to work for the first four months he was here, so we tried to make the best of it. (He did help a woman with yardwork a for a few days).

He studied English, went to the gym, cooked, cleaned a bit, watched TV, washed my car, went grocery shopping, etc....

Once he got his EAD he went straight to work and does NOT miss those days at all.

[milimelo 4,572]

I came on a CR-1 but finding a job here is not easy! I've been to 15 interviews so far, signed up with temp agencies, just this past Thursday had a very successful 2nd interview and am now waiting for the 3rd one (the one with the job offer and salary negotiations) but am still going to another interview tomorrow.

Hubby is working so if I do not have an interview scheduled for that day I'd prepare him a meal when he drops by on his lunch break. Our house is squeaky clean - there's only so much you can do when you're home 24/7 hehehe, and I know the TV schedule well too

I'm hoping to get a job in the next two weeks...

[melusine 5]

Gah !!!

Me doing cooking (sure death), cleaning (i will keep our things clean in our room) (we'll be living to his parents place for the start), lunch box etc would kill me !!!!!!!!!!

I am strongly anti-routine.... and just doing that would probably kill me in boredomness (?? english word ??)

So the plan will probably be....

First, arrange something to be able to drive around, go to the gym and start loosing thoses pounds buggin me, make professional cards, start a personnal work related project to add to my portfolio and learn a new software. Read books, books books, mostly about my job. Starting to do some networking here and there.

And ultimately, get a quickass job

I do need to work and anyway, there is no question about it ! I WANT to work !!!!!! and achieve some of my personnal career goals !

Edited March 16, 2008 by melusine

[TinTin and Samby 11]

B)-->

QUOTE(Team J and B @ Mar 16 2008, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And plus, he makes the living, but I make his life worth living.

What a wonderful sentiment. Your guy is lucky to have found you! Good luck to the two of you!

Warm Regards,

Samby

[Jeraly 4]

Wow I see some of you guys are definitely alot better off than we were. When we first moved here I was able to work but it took me 8 months to find a job due to the area we live in.

...

I'm also planning to go back to school this summer to become a CNA. It's fast, cheap, the job you get pays just a little bit better but the benefits (read: health insurance) are awesome.

We won't be well off at all - I am moving at the end of June, legal wedding at beginning of August then file AOS ASAP so I can get my AP/EAD quickly. Jeremy has a good job but it will only be enough to get us by in bills and rent so I will need to work as soon as I can. I am hoping to set up my own business but I can guarantee that it won't be enough to constitute an income for a long time so I need to get a "real" job in the meantime... We don't even have a place to live yet let alone furniture so we will prolly be using deck chairs and airbeds for a while... swap meets anyone?!!?

What is CNA? I get medical on Jeremy's insurance but I am always open to new ideas

B)-->

QUOTE(Team J and B @ Mar 16 2008, 09:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Plus, I just learned you only get a few weeks maternity leave in the USA? That's whack.

Really? Well hopefully by that time we will be able to afford for me to work only part time... who knows... I guess if it depends on employer I should find out things like that before I get a job... of course if they think I am just going to go get knocked up right away then they prolly won't employ me anyway...

It's going to be hard in the beginning and I'm really determined that financial problems aren't going to get in the way of our marriage. Honestly, what's mine is his and what's his is mine when we're married - I don't want either of us to feel guilty about one earning less than the other because no doubt there's going to be periods when he's supporting me and vice versa.

Defo - we are not going to be well off but we will be together and that is what counts. I am telling myself that it will be kinda like a game where we have to make all the pennies count and so we can spend time trying to get the best deals on things. Everyone has to start somewhere right? I know we won't always be poor but we will always have a roof over our heads and more stability than Jeremy had growing up so we'll get there in the end - it just might take a little while is all

[catrocks 0]

The excitement does not stop here on weekdays!

I get up when Ben leaves but usually watch TV till 10. Then I shower and take the dog out. Then I apply for as many jobs as possible until lunch. After lunch I might do grocery shopping or other such exciting things that need doing, walk the dog some more, and apply for more jobs. I barely watch TV after 10 because it's just a load of cr@p.

Last week I painted the dining room, baked a pie (sooo unlike me lol), cleaned the house and so on. Today I am starting my NEW routine of jogging.

I've applied for about 30-40 jobs in the last 3 weeks, have had one interview (but nothing came of it), and a couple od phone calls but nothing encouraging. Seems that all the jobs either require more experience or less education than I have, and not a whole lot in between. I've also applied for about 10 volunteer jobs but they don't want me either.

This week I am painting the living room.

[Jeraly 4]

Haha - aww that sucks but you make it sound so funny

I want to join a gym - I am trying to convince myself that working out and losing weight and getting into shape will be a great pastime... of course I might take to baking as well in which case it will just be used to burn the calories from all the yummy brownies