Stupid Question?

[Caladan 19]

It depends. Once AOS is approved, if he just leaves, he'll have problems lifting conditions in two years. If you two were to divorce, he'd be able to file to remove conditions on his own based on a bonafide marriage. If he leaves before AOS is approved, he's not going to be able to adjust status.

But it sounds like you had an argument. I'm not sure why wahrania brought the age gap into it, because I-don't-need-you-to-stay-here is not something that's good to say even if the couple is the same age. It sounds like you two need to talk about this.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

It depends. Once AOS is approved, if he just leaves, he'll have problems lifting conditions in two years. If you two were to divorce, he'd be able to file to remove conditions on his own based on a bonafide marriage. If he leaves before AOS is approved, he's not going to be able to adjust status.

But it sounds like you had an argument. I'm not sure why wahrania brought the age gap into it, because I-don't-need-you-to-stay-here is not something that's good to say even if the couple is the same age. It sounds like you two need to talk about this.

I brought it up because I think that if hes 15 to 20 years younger and is thinking about leaving alreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddy that she might need to brace to get dumped...I just dealt with a47 year old America friend whos 30 year old husband bolted 3 months after he lifted conditions and is now engaged to a moroccan girl...If it creepy enough for him to say some jackass thing like that,she should start looking closer and get ready emotionally.........I think once flags go up,be positive but watch

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I don't really post here but I read this and was wondering why someone asked about if there is an age gap? My fiance and I have a large one and now I'm worried.

I wouldn't worry about it.

You are 2 days past your aos appt...and he is talking about adjusting without you...I wouldnt worry but I would put spyware on the computer so you can screen shot what hes doing....something is very fishy

[sereia 0]

I find it very odd he said that...I definitely don't think saying something like that is "reassuring" one bit! If my husband said that to me I'd be very suspicious and upset too.

[Nutty 2]

Dear Terri....

I will admit I find it very strange he said this....It gets me thinking the following things:

1) How come he knows so much about this?

2) Sometimes people in anger lash out and say stupid things. But they also sometimes say what is really on their minds in the heat of the moment too. It's a double-edged sword.

To be honest, it disturbs me he said this and I would be upset too, like you.

Maybe he was saying this just to tell you that he could leave if he wants to, but chooses not to. Are there problems between the two of you right now?

[terrie/kamal 0]

Dear Terri....

I will admit I find it very strange he said this....It gets me thinking the following things:

1) How come he knows so much about this?

2) Sometimes people in anger lash out and say stupid things. But they also sometimes say what is really on their minds in the heat of the moment too. It's a double-edged sword.

To be honest, it disturbs me he said this and I would be upset too, like you.

Maybe he was saying this just to tell you that he could leave if he wants to, but chooses not to. Are there problems between the two of you right now?

Kamal told me long ago before he came here that if he chose to leave me, he wouldn't need me for his green card. I think the fact that his brother has been here for 15 years has some bearing on the fact that he knows about this. Yes there have been some problems, not major, but i immediatly get on the defense in an arguement. He said he is here because he loves me not because he wants his green card, but sometimes it bothers me that he says that. And as far as spy ware, i have access to all his email accts. and history on the computer. My bad, but i do nose around. There has nothing suspicous on it to concern me.

[AlHayatZween 2]

He said he is here because he loves me not because he wants his green card, but sometimes it bothers me that he says that.

Ohhh... he loves you!

i can totally see how it would be bothersome and hurtful for him to even mention the whole green card thing... but in the context you mentioned above, it sounds like he loves you and he was just saying things the bacward way men sometimes say them.

Good luck and hope you feel better!

hz

[Caladan 19]

See, there's two ways to read this:

1) "If I just wanted a green card, I could get that without you".... "so obviously you have nothing to worry about sweetie, because I'm here because I love you."

2) "If I just wanted a green card, I could get that without you"... "and I'm about ready to walk out the door and prove that."

[doodlebugg 10]

See, there's two ways to read this:

1) "If I just wanted a green card, I could get that without you".... "so obviously you have nothing to worry about sweetie, because I'm here because I love you."

I think #1 is what he meant but I'm an optimist.

[Nutty 2]

I think saying this and given the circumstances...some minor problems..that particular sentence is meant to imply "I am not dependent on you or controled by you."

Kamal told me long ago before he came here that if he chose to leave me, he wouldn't need me for his green card. I think the fact that his brother has been here for 15 years has some bearing on the fact that he knows about this. Yes there have been some problems, not major, but i immediatly get on the defense in an arguement. He said he is here because he loves me not because he wants his green card, but sometimes it bothers me that he says that. And as far as spy ware, i have access to all his email accts. and history on the computer. My bad, but i do nose around. There has nothing suspicous on it to concern me.

[~~~water~~~ 0]

Its a hard one ... I think its just bad communication.

If you were to divorce ever Does he want to be in the us? or if you break up does he want to go home? Forget the whole age thing people get left young or old

[sarahaziz 0]

He loves you , when you look at the context 100% all details and background information involved it makes alloooot of sense. You have nothing to worry about. He's just making u know he's a man (Whatever! I'd kick my spouses ####)