How do you plan?

[Aymerlu 3]

I think a lot of us gals have a very hard time planning a wedding. I keep going back and forth.....to have a wedding or not to have a wedding. What I "think" we will do is to go to the JOP as soon as he gets here (luckily in my state you don't need a social security number to get married) and then have the actual wedding for the family and friends at a later date. Makes me crazy because you have to reserve places months in advance for weddings. Luckily I have a lot of friend with big houses that has offered to let us use their home. But who knows....the way things have been around here recently, the JOP and no wedding ceremony is starting to sound good. Would save us a few dollars!

[LaL 418]

I think having what you want put together helps with the planning. I researched dresses that would be acceptable for all seasons, locations, photographers, etc. It took us so long in getting the K1 we actually had "target" dates of tenative planning and wound up trying to plan for each season.

We wound up doing the "destination" type of wedding in which we purchased am officiant/photography package. They were wonderful and helped us with local and suggestions. It turned out lovely. I know there are many destination planners in the panhandle. Think of it as a vacation!

Laura

Edited February 5, 2006 by lal_brandow

[Rosie420 2]

We sent in our paperwork in July 2005 and set the wedding date for June 2006, giving us about a year. That took off a lot of stress, whereas if we'd set the wedding for February, we'd have been cutting it very fine. We've got just about everything planned for the wedding. Luckily we are having it at my parents' house, so there was no issue with reserving a venue. We just paid for our officiant, waited 'til the visa was in hand before spending that money. I've got my dress, we've picked out bridesmaid dresses, invitations, made honeymoon plans, etc.

I think if you give yourself enough time, there's nothing stopping you from making plans and having a 'real' wedding right away. I also don't think there's anything wrong with doing a civil wedding first and big wedding later, that's just not what we wanted, personally.

I do think that people tend to forget that you have 6 months to use the K1 visa, and 90 days to get married once you're in the country. So even if you wait til the visa is approved before making plans, that does give you about 9 months, which is plenty of time to plan a nice wedding.

[StacySmith 0]

Well I for one did pretty much what Rosie did! We filed April 2005 and we had set our wedding date once we filed...wedding date is March 18th 2006! Giving us a nice window to work with. I have had a wonderful time planning our wedding with loads of help from my VJ girlfriends! lol

You have plenty of time to make your wedding what you want it to be... don't hold back because of the visa just set a reasonable wedding date.

Planning our wedding definately helped take my mind off us being apart so damn long! We planned everything together from the food we would have at our reception to the flowers we would have. It has been a great experience for us and it has definately paid off. Paul moves here in just a few days and we will be getting married less than 6 weeks time. And everything was paid for months ago on the wedding...we paid a little here and there and got it all done that way...

All I am saying is it possible to have a lavish wedding in the beginning instead of having 2 seperate ceremonies.

Good luck with whatever all of you decide!

Stacy

Edited February 5, 2006 by SpriteyStace

[lem 0]

We filed in August 2005 and set our wedding for April 22, 2006. I studied the timelines and charts on this site and decided the process would probably take 4-6 months. It took 5.5 with a couple of delays- Carlos had his interview last Tuesday and everything went wonderfully.

When I checked on the hotel for the reception, photographer, florist, DJ, I explained the situation and they were very willing to be as flexible as possible. They were very understanding.

As things started to be approved (NOA1, NOA2, Embassy received info...) I made our plans more definite. In the beginning I decided colors, who will be in the wedding, dresses, etc.

I'm working on our invitations now and they will be sent in a couple of weeks. My plans- I'm very ####### about planning as well- are all falling into place exactly as anticipated. Just give yourself a big enough window for any delays along the way.

When people would ask me about the date, I told them our tentative date and usually made a joke about hopefully the government would agree. Try not to let the stress of this process ruin what should be fun.

My friends have given me a couple of showers- engagement and bridal, which have been great. One of them was even so brave as to have a picture album engraved with Carlos and my names and our wedding date. This was before the interview... but it all turned out okay.

Buy a bunch of magazines and a good planner and get busy. For me, this is my first wedding and I've thoroughly enjoyed figuring out how to make my dreams a reality. Don't let the visa process ruin that for you.

Melanie

[Fandango 1,439]

Let me preface this by saying we haven't filed yet. BUT The visa process totally threw a wrench in our plans!

Before we started looking into all this, we were planning a cruise wedding with our family & friends. I even got so far as to talk to the group coordinator of the cruise line (yeah, I know, duh)...anyways lo and behold, if you file for a K1, he can't leave the country after getting here...so since all the cruises go into international waters, that's our plans ruined

I don't want a crapload of his friends and family here & not on a cruise because then I'll feel obligated to house the important family members, cook, be a social director, etc for a bunch of people while trying to plan a wedding as well. That's too much stress for me!

But if we pursued a K3, that wouldn't be a probbo...but then if we're pursuing that, he needs to come over PRONTO to get married, so everyone can't jump at the drop of a hat.

So we're doing what people here have suggested; small first wedding, and big one a year later. Hell, I even contemplated going to Vegas and having a quirky elvis wedding or summat offbeat since it can't be what I want. The first anni 'wedding' will be the one we plan to perfection.

GOOD LUCK!!!

btw...who wants to swap dress pics?

Edited February 6, 2006 by LisaD

[lem 0]

[/quote btw...who wants to swap dress pics?

Who wants to swap dress nightmares??? I had a dress. Long story short turned out there was a problem with it and the national chain bridal store refunded my money... thankfully. I've order a new dress (actually two- so I have a backup) and it is supposed to be here sometime in March. That's cutting things a little close...

[Fandango 1,439]

[/quote btw...who wants to swap dress pics?

Who wants to swap dress nightmares??? I had a dress. Long story short turned out there was a problem with it and the national chain bridal store refunded my money... thankfully. I've order a new dress (actually two- so I have a backup) and it is supposed to be here sometime in March. That's cutting things a little close...

omG! you must have been going crazy!

[beaner0500 0]

For those of you that set your date prior to being approved, weren't you nervous that something would delay the application? I was thinking as soon as Nigel gets his interview date I'll set a date a few months after that. The interview process in the UK seems to be pretty straightforward once you get to that point so I don't anticipate him having any hangups once he has it. But in the back of my mind I'm nervous that the old "what ifs" could happen. We could miss a piece of paper. The medical exam could show something weird that needs to be checked out. Something that delays his visa and causes the wedding date to be too soon. I know you can't offer me any assurances, but didn't this make you nervous at all? We're at the packet 3 stage so I anticipate an interview in late April or early May given recent timelines of other couples similar to us. So I am thinking a date of September would be good. But what if??? I may be too paranoid for that!

[Rosie420 2]

For those of you that set your date prior to being approved, weren't you nervous that something would delay the application? I was thinking as soon as Nigel gets his interview date I'll set a date a few months after that. The interview process in the UK seems to be pretty straightforward once you get to that point so I don't anticipate him having any hangups once he has it. But in the back of my mind I'm nervous that the old "what ifs" could happen. We could miss a piece of paper. The medical exam could show something weird that needs to be checked out. Something that delays his visa and causes the wedding date to be too soon. I know you can't offer me any assurances, but didn't this make you nervous at all? We're at the packet 3 stage so I anticipate an interview in late April or early May given recent timelines of other couples similar to us. So I am thinking a date of September would be good. But what if??? I may be too paranoid for that!

Yes, setting a wedding date freaked me out big time! I am a pessimist, and full of 'what ifs'. Judging by the timelines of others going through Nebraska, then London, and the fact that there were no complications to the case, we assumed our processing time would be between 6-9 months. The we planned for the wedding to be almost a year from when we filed, allowing another 3 months for 'what ifs'. Because we're getting married and having the reception on my parents' property, we didn't have to reserve the venue. Everything else has been planned, regardless of date. We've decided on guests, colours, food, music, etc. We did take a chance, and sent out 'Save the Date' cards a couple months ago. We wanted to give all the international guests a heads up, but figured even if the wedding date had to be pushed back, we were only out about $80 for the cards.

I'm glad that we gave it so much time. We aren't feeling stressed now that the visa's come through, though if we hadn't been planning since July, I'm sure we'd be flipping out about now! I'm glad we're going to have an actual wedding, rather than getting married right away and then having a celebration later. I know it works for other people, but we wanted to have *one* wedding, shared with all the people who are important to us. I think we'll actually pull it off! *knock on wood*

Edited February 7, 2006 by Rosie420