How do you plan?

[miranda 0]

I'm dying to start planning my wedding, however, I'm wondering how some of you are planning yours without knowing anything definite? I want a July wedding because I'm a teacher and my school year starts July 28th. The wedding needs to be before that. However, I can't guarantee Patrick will be here by then. I want to go ahead and secure a location and start doing all the invitations and planning everything. I'm so frustrated sitting in this limbo not knowing whether to start and just take my chances he'll be here or wait and possibly miss out on everything I could plan in a longer period of time.

[slim 1,530]

Why not do the JOP wedding when he arrives, and plan the BIG WEDDING for June of '07?

I know you want to do it ASAP, but like you said, there are no guarantees. So, to save a bunch of money (and not by switching your car insurance to GEICO) why not get married legally for USCIS, then get married in a ceremony later?

Or, if you want to do it this year, you could make sure that everything is refundable. Probably will cost more, but it may be worth it.

Or..... maybe he'll be here on time!!!!

Good luck!

[KarenCee 3]

I understand how you feel...Joel and I have been waiting nearly 90 days for our NOA2. I'd love to plan something as well. I'm an assistant teacher and our school year starts about the same time. Although I am glad we're already in the system, I do wish I had something definate to go by. Everyone at school asks when the wedding is, when is he going to be here, what's taking so long...etc. Wish I had an answer. What I have done, however, is : pick out my dress, we've discussed what kind of ceremony we want, to honeymoon immediately or wait, where we'd like to go on said honeymoon. I'm going to make our invitations...much less expense that way (I do calligraphy). So you could practically plan everything except date and reserving a location.

Wish I could be of more help....good luck with the process.

[miranda 0]

We talked about that and have decided that it is an option if we absolutely have to. But we'd both kind of feel the big ceremony after wouldn't mean much to either of us if we were already married. I know it seems silly to feel that way, but I can't help it. I wish we would just go ahead and get approved and I could have what I want lol.

I understand how you feel...Joel and I have been waiting nearly 90 days for our NOA2. I'd love to plan something as well. I'm an assistant teacher and our school year starts about the same time. Although I am glad we're already in the system, I do wish I had something definate to go by. Everyone at school asks when the wedding is, when is he going to be here, what's taking so long...etc. Wish I had an answer. What I have done, however, is : pick out my dress, we've discussed what kind of ceremony we want, to honeymoon immediately or wait, where we'd like to go on said honeymoon. I'm going to make our invitations...much less expense that way (I do calligraphy). So you could practically plan everything except date and reserving a location.

Wish I could be of more help....good luck with the process.

I know what you mean about everyone asking. I get asked by someone everyday and I think my frustration shows a little more each day. It's like a catch 22, I love talking about the wedding, patrick and everything else; but I hate the fact that we're so uncertain about the immediate future. I'm a planner, I always have been. I've planned my future years in advanced; I always knew exactly what my goals were and how to attain them. This has totally thrown me off and it's so unsettling to sit in such an uncertain place.

[KarenCee 3]

We talked about that and have decided that it is an option if we absolutely have to. But we'd both kind of feel the big ceremony after wouldn't mean much to either of us if we were already married. I know it seems silly to feel that way, but I can't help it. I wish we would just go ahead and get approved and I could have what I want lol.

I understand how you feel...Joel and I have been waiting nearly 90 days for our NOA2. I'd love to plan something as well. I'm an assistant teacher and our school year starts about the same time. Although I am glad we're already in the system, I do wish I had something definate to go by. Everyone at school asks when the wedding is, when is he going to be here, what's taking so long...etc. Wish I had an answer. What I have done, however, is : pick out my dress, we've discussed what kind of ceremony we want, to honeymoon immediately or wait, where we'd like to go on said honeymoon. I'm going to make our invitations...much less expense that way (I do calligraphy). So you could practically plan everything except date and reserving a location.

Wish I could be of more help....good luck with the process.

I know what you mean about everyone asking. I get asked by someone everyday and I think my frustration shows a little more each day. It's like a catch 22, I love talking about the wedding, patrick and everything else; but I hate the fact that we're so uncertain about the immediate future. I'm a planner, I always have been. I've planned my future years in advanced; I always knew exactly what my goals were and how to attain them. This has totally thrown me off and it's so unsettling to sit in such an uncertain place.

Yep....I am a planner too...and this has thrown me off kilter in a major way! The thing that gets me through this is knowing this is only a temporary situation...we'll get our comfort zone back eventually. I suppose this has been good, in a way...its teaching me some patience, and how to cope when I can't plan anything.

[miranda 0]

We talked about that and have decided that it is an option if we absolutely have to. But we'd both kind of feel the big ceremony after wouldn't mean much to either of us if we were already married. I know it seems silly to feel that way, but I can't help it. I wish we would just go ahead and get approved and I could have what I want lol.

I understand how you feel...Joel and I have been waiting nearly 90 days for our NOA2. I'd love to plan something as well. I'm an assistant teacher and our school year starts about the same time. Although I am glad we're already in the system, I do wish I had something definate to go by. Everyone at school asks when the wedding is, when is he going to be here, what's taking so long...etc. Wish I had an answer. What I have done, however, is : pick out my dress, we've discussed what kind of ceremony we want, to honeymoon immediately or wait, where we'd like to go on said honeymoon. I'm going to make our invitations...much less expense that way (I do calligraphy). So you could practically plan everything except date and reserving a location.

Wish I could be of more help....good luck with the process.

I know what you mean about everyone asking. I get asked by someone everyday and I think my frustration shows a little more each day. It's like a catch 22, I love talking about the wedding, patrick and everything else; but I hate the fact that we're so uncertain about the immediate future. I'm a planner, I always have been. I've planned my future years in advanced; I always knew exactly what my goals were and how to attain them. This has totally thrown me off and it's so unsettling to sit in such an uncertain place.

Yep....I am a planner too...and this has thrown me off kilter in a major way! The thing that gets me through this is knowing this is only a temporary situation...we'll get our comfort zone back eventually. I suppose this has been good, in a way...its teaching me some patience, and how to cope when I can't plan anything.

I just noticed you're from Georgia. I am too. Don't know why I decided to post that, just thought you might be down the road from me and I wouldn't know it. LOL

[valfreitas 0]

I know this is hard... but we started plan our weeding after we got the interview (visa) date... we knew that everything was going to be fine...

If you want to feel more confident you should wait until he gets the visa...

Good luck!!

Edited February 5, 2006 by valfreitas

[meddykomp 0]

I know what you mean about everyone asking. I get asked by someone everyday and I think my frustration shows a little more each day. It's like a catch 22, I love talking about the wedding, patrick and everything else; but I hate the fact that we're so uncertain about the immediate future. I'm a planner, I always have been. I've planned my future years in advanced; I always knew exactly what my goals were and how to attain them. This has totally thrown me off and it's so unsettling to sit in such an uncertain place.

Yep....I am a planner too...and this has thrown me off kilter in a major way! The thing that gets me through this is knowing this is only a temporary situation...we'll get our comfort zone back eventually. I suppose this has been good, in a way...its teaching me some patience, and how to cope when I can't plan anything.

It's really hard to be the type to plan everything and go through the immigration process. A lot of times the not knowing what is going on is so stressful that I sometimes find myself crying.

[miranda 0]

I'm the same way. My whole life is stressful right now so I find myself sick a lot. I'm a teacher and it's my first year so all day I'm stressed out and I come home to the immigration stuff. Hopefully this will all be done in 3 months.

[babytiger 0]

I think a lot of us are in the same boat. I keep thinking, how am I going to plan a wedding in 90 day? He just now received packet 3. We don't even have a tentative wedding date. Heck we don't have an interview date yet! If we do a quickie wedding, will the "real one" be as special? With everything up in the air, it is getting very frustrating! Part of me wants to shop for a wedding dress, but I dont' want get my hopes up just yet.

Edited February 5, 2006 by babytiger

[KarenCee 3]

We've decided to do the JOP first...that way we can apply for AOS immediately, as well as his EAD and AP. I know the ceremony won't really be the "real deal", but it is STILL a ceremony...we'll have pics and everything. I can live with that to be married to my best friend, the love of my life.

[jkb919 0]

Well I am glad I am not the only one...

I feel the same way, we just got NOA2 after waiting 3 months for it...no telling when the interview will be?? i am a big time planner and want to get started...it looks like this will be a summer wedding for us, and locations for the reception will book up fast it is going to be hard to find a place. I am going to set the date as soon as we find out his interview date. I just keep looking at everything on the internet and trying to decide what I want...I have mostly everything picked out except a dress (hopeing to lose weight) and a location.

I am not sure about you guys but I want my fiances culture in the wedding, he is Jamaican and I want to have jamaican food at the reception, but most places I am looking at, you have to use thier caterer and they usually do all that fancy food, (which I dont want) I want a Good ole Jamaican buffet (in a fancy place ).

Anyway i guess we can all stress together!!! good luck everyone

Joanna

[canucker18 0]

I am in the same boat. We were going to do the quickie marriage and then a more formal one down the road, but decided to change our minds.

We want to get married once, go through all the hassle of planning once, spend all our money once, etc.

So, once I got the interview date we booked all our places, tentatively, and then we made invitations and sent them out. We included a letter in our invites that addressed the fact that we couldn't give much notice, and that until my interview date nothing was final. We asked that they wait until my interview to book any travel arrangements.

Regardless of when our wedding is, it will still be at the same church and the same reception hall. So, it'd just be a matter of moving the date of the event. We went ahead and put our deposits down and made sure everyone knew the circumstances.

If you are a planning person, like me, then there are many things you can plan ahead of time.

One is your invitations and their wording. All you will be doing is putting in a date and place, so go crazy and get your invitations all set. You can pick out a wedding dress. To order one you need at least 6 months anyways so go for it. If you are less than 6 months you'll have to buy off the rack and ordering will not be guaranteed. So, go look at some dresses. You can also get a veil any time, if that's what you want.

You can choose your flowers, or at least get an idea. And you can still call around and see if places you want your wedding to be at have availability.

I financially planned for our wedding long before we got the interview date.

I say go for it. You are going to get married one way or another. And if you don't get your visa on your interview date, it won't be too long afterwards.

Stay positive, and do something that will make you happy...not like going through all this visa #######!

You need something to take your mind off the visa and the stress is causes, so do something fun for your wedding. Buy a garter!!! Buy yourself a wedding photo album..do anything you want, and enjoy it!

That's my 4 cents..that's 3.2 cents american.

[beaner0500 0]

Ha, I was just complaining about this to my sister when I came upon this posting. I think we're all in the same frustration boat. Nigel and I were thinking we'd just do a simple ceremony at the courthouse as soon as he gets here and then plan for a religious ceremony and reception a few months out. But the more and more I think about it the more I realize it won't feel as special the second time around if we're technically already married. So then I decided I could be superwoman and plan a wedding in 90 days which we all know is almost impossible in the summer which is probably when Nigel will be coming here. So I'm back to square one. Nigel just got Packet 3 and will be sending it back in a few days so hopefully we'll have his interview date within a few weeks. I am thinking of using that as a guideline for picking a date since once he gets to the interview I can't imagine he won't get his visa. But you just never know so it's really taking a chance on losing a lot of money on deposits and things. In the end I'm sure it'll all work out but boy can it be frustrating along the way!

I did order my dress already since it does take 3-6 months to get it after buying. That makes me feel like I've done a little bit of planning. And I've been scouring theknot.com looking for ideas and reception sites so that when the time does come to set a date Nigel and I know exactly what kind of wedding we want.

Good luck ladies! As frustrating as this is it does help to know there are others in my boat

[MarieAnastasia 0]

Yes, it is very frustrating not being able to set a date. We're hoping to find out our Interview date in a couple of weeks (Montreal). Even then I'm almost afraid to jinx it by planning! I won't be happy til we get that stamp of approval!!

As this is the second time around for both of us, we're having a small wedding in Las Vagas. My sister lives in California {about 2 hours away from Vegas)..........she is waiting for the wedding date and she will get things ready for us (what a blessing!). My brother and sister-in-law (and some friends) are also waiting so they can book their airline tickets! Neither one of our children (all adults) and grandchildren will be there and that breaks my heart but it is so costly!! When we come home this summer a friend of mine is having a party for us. So that will be lovely

We've waited a long time to find each other........we just want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together......{{{{HUGS}}}}