How important was getting/giving an engagement ring?

[msu17 0]

My husband and I like the tradition, so he bought me one. It's beautiful and 100% my style, so I was impressed how well he did knowing my tastes. I still think he spent too much money, but I figure this is something that I'll have for the rest of my life and a reminder of such a great time in our relationship, what's a couple extra hundred? My good friend just got engaged and he would NOT propose until he could afford the ring he wanted. So silly to wait several extra months to propose just to be able to give a ring with a stupid stone in it... I think it's a nice symbol, but shouldn't be the be all end all of the engagement.

[StoryAngel 4]

I'm the female beneficiary. My USC fiance gave me an engagement ring that he designed himself and then had made, even before he'd met me. It was sitting in the jeweler's store for two years before we got together! He says that God gave him the idea for the ring and that he'd know when the right person came along. All I knew about it was that it featured a pearl, and had something of his Celtic heritage. On the day we got engaged, he took me out to a beautiful secluded spot and got down on one knee to ask me. When he put the ring on my finger it was the first time I'd seen it, although I'd heard the story behind it. It's absolutely beautiful and it's unique because my fiance designed it. It was really important for me to have it, not because I wanted a great big ring or anything, but because I knew we were going to be apart for a long while. I hated the time of separation that followed (8 months) but it definitely made it easier for me returning to Europe wearing the ring. It felt more real, and every time I look at my finger I am reminded of just how much my fiance loves me.

[ajames79 0]

I would have married Chris with out an engagement ring...however I am really happy that I have one. Did I want him to go out and spend $1000's if we couldn't afford it? No. Do I care if other people have engagement rings, or is it a status symbol in my eyes....nope. My ring is perfect for me, an antique from the 20's and my fav peice of jewelry!!

[Alex+R 0]

I'm pretty anti-diamond, so it was important for me not to get one like that. I did get a Brazilian one though, and we got pretty much the cheapest thing possible. Like Jenn, I often get looks of pity for the lack of fancy ring on my finger. Sometimes people tell me if he really loved me, he'd disregard my wishes and my principles and spend all our money on a ring (which, knowing me, I'd lose in about two weeks).

[boardashell_2000 0]

I am the USC and I wanted an engagment ring...To me it's about tradition...The bigger the better!!! I am not ashamed to say it...Would I have still married him if I hadn't gotten the ring...of course...but I will admit that I would have been a little sad at not receiving something that imo is important...My husband knew this...and saved his money so we could purchase one...Do I feel guilty about spending equivilent 3yrs salary (Morocco) on it...NOPE not even a little bit.....*sigh* it's so pretty!

[mnieto 2]

It is more about the symbol than about the rock! I have a very pretty little ring which I will always enjoy wearing because it reminds me how my fiance gave it to me and popped the question! I love the fact that he did it the traditional way....

Unfortunately he got the wrong size so I had to wait another two weeks until the jeweler had resized it. But it will always be a beautiful reminder of a wonderful weekend when he asked me to marry him...

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm pretty anti-diamond, so it was important for me not to get one like that. I did get a Brazilian one though, and we got pretty much the cheapest thing possible. Like Jenn, I often get looks of pity for the lack of fancy ring on my finger. Sometimes people tell me if he really loved me, he'd disregard my wishes and my principles and spend all our money on a ring (which, knowing me, I'd lose in about two weeks).

Do people really say that stuff? That's incredible!

I'm constantly amazed how ignorant some the human race can be....

Edited March 10, 2008 by rebeccajo

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

Lindsay did want a ring, but not a diamond. I'm happy for that, as I have serious issues using a diamond for anything other than cutting hard metals. They're not even precious stones. They're common.

Anyway, she just wanted a simple ring on her finger. Well, I was walking around her town when I found a small jeweler. We were able to custom order a ring. It's a simple silver ring with a single pink tourmaline on it. It only cost like $130, but she kept insisting "that's too much," but I knew she liked it. When I signed the receipt, I looked over at her and she was crying. It was all she could do not to start bawling. Anyway, it is the only piece of jewelry she wears.

As for wedding bands, we're doing tattoos instead.

[eekee 182]

it's not that i wouldn't marry him without a ring... If he couldn't do it i would take my mom's. But it's just something i've always wanted to have. I don't really like wearing a lot of jewelry, but i just have always wanted one.

[Mononoke28 135]

I have a basic 18k white gold wedding band and I like what it stands for. Did I want a diamond ring instead, of course. Can we afford it? Not one bit. Had to settle but it's no big deal.

Diana

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I never cared for diamonds, am not a ring person and didn't think it would be a big thing to have an engagement ring. We went looking for a piece of jewelry for my birthday a month after we became engaged. One of the places we visited was a private jeweler's who designed his own jewelry and who lived in my home town. We looked at a variety of necklaces and rings. There were engagement rings at the side of the case and we each kept looking at this one ring. Finally, he suggested I try it on, so I did - and fell in love with it! We went for lunch, talked about it - I didn't want him to spend that much money! and he finally talked me into letting him buy me the ring. It is gold with a slightly raised inset with a larger (not big) diamond in the center with a smaller diamond on each side. I am surprised that it meant so much to me to have this ring, but during the many months we were apart, it seemed to be an additional bond of connection between the two of us - a physical symbol of our love and commitment to each other. My engagement and wedding rings never leave my finger.

[jundp 191]

It was really important for me to have it, not because I wanted a great big ring or anything, but because I knew we were going to be apart for a long while. I hated the time of separation that followed (8 months) but it definitely made it easier for me returning to Europe wearing the ring. It felt more real, and every time I look at my finger I am reminded of just how much my fiance loves me.

That's how I feel StoryAngel. I don't have a diamond, didn't want one in fact. I'm very anti-diamond. But we found a beautiful 3 stone peridot ring (his birthstone) and I really wanted an engagement ring. In Germany, according to P and my friends, couples often get their wedding bands and wear them on their left hands during the engagement and then switch them to the right hand during the ceremony. I didn't want to do that since he's going to wear his ring on his left hand. For me though, it wasn't about the material item, it was something for me to have as a phsyical reminder that we will be together again.

It may sound silly, because I have him (and he, me) with or without the ring, but it makes me feel better. And it's really pretty but i would be engaged to him without one.

[Marilyn. 340]

I didn't get my ring until a year after he proposed... it wasn't really a big deal to me but hubby wanted to get me one...

I am not a big jewelry wearer anyways...

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I wasn't quite as interested in the diamond as I was in the knowing opinions of the ring overall, but still good to know.

I like one of the reasons for having one as a memento of the proposal. I never had one of those either. Something like we had two discussions over the fact that there was no way this was going to work if we didn't get married and about immigration problems. We decided it was for the best at the end of the second that we should marry. It was more of a pragmatic decision than a romantic one. I am not sure what place a ring has in a situation like that. I can understand where someone else could be coming from though.

As a side note, thank you for the short lesson in German engagements. My husband is not very knowledgeable on the subject and none of our German friends have married or gotten engaged.

[Autumnchik 6]

I too would have married my husband with or without a ring, but I do love my engagement ring because every time I look at it, I remember the day he proposed and how we picked out the ring. The day after I arrived in Vancouver for a visit, he rolled over in bed and said, When are we getting engaged? I think we should get engaged soon. (This from the man who had said he would never propose until we lived together for 6 months). My response, Sure why not. We ended up at the mall later that day and decided just to look at rings to see what we liked. Every jeweler asked my now hubby what he wanted to spend and I kept kicking him because I didn't want him to spend that much on a ring! We looked at lots of rings (mostly non-traditional rings with different stones besides diamonds), but when we saw the tanzanite ring, I think we both fell in love with IT a little ... so we retired to a corner in the mall and briefly debated getting the ring (it was the only one there and we didn't want to lose it). After we got the ring sized, hubby wanted to officially propose by the water. We were rushing to make a ferry and thought that he would have to propose on the boat .... but we missed the ferry, so he took me to his favorite beach and did the tradional on one knee proposal. That was incredibly sweet, but honestly, every time I look at my ring, I remember the first, oh so casual proposal and how natural it all felt. And that is why I love my ring so much.

I did end up getting a wedding band too, but am not that attached to it, it just doesn't have the significance that the engagement ring does.