Is Chatting With A Member Of The Opposite Sex Cheating?

[natty bumppo 297]

i think it's not only about context but also if the partner is secretive about the chats. like if you can't read them while they are typing away, or if they close the window when you walk in....

that and ... hiding accounts .... passwords ...

[Teacher Mark 53]

If it were me chatting with a memeber of the oppsoste sex would be an automatic divorce. I've seen this turn from innocent chatting to divorce several times with family and friends. Want a friend? Get a dog.

seriously?????????????????????????? shouldn't you trust your spouse to have FRIENDS?

I encorage her to have friends. I draw the line at chatting with other men though (relatives excluded). Call it control or what you will but I have would have a problem with her chatting with another man on a computer that I bought, over the Internet that I pay for, on the time that she has free because I support her.

I was gonna go with control, but borderline abusive seems more appropriate. Wow, I'll bet your wife feels great knowing you own everything, and ahs no right to use her time as she wishes.

Are you afraid your wife might meet someone less controlling out there and the prospect might end up being enticing?

Spoken like a true lib!

How does that have anything to do with politics? Or is that just all you've got?

It doesn't depend on context, it depends on whether you have trust, or you have a distorted version of trust. Trust isn't conditional.

But I agree with Charles that if you feel you have a reason to be hiding what you say from your spouse, then you might have a problem.

Actually I have alot more than that, but it's a family site.

I just noticed that you are a female. Is trading insults with a member of the opposite sex on a message board considered cheating? I better stop just to be safe.

Edited March 10, 2008 by WideAwakeInTheUSA

[Caladan 19]

I don't know. Are you paying for your own Internet?

[Teacher Mark 53]

I don't know. Are you paying for your own Internet?

Yes.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven, you have to admit that you're a fairly jealous guy. I think if you are not afflicted with jealousy, you won't care who they invite over.

Both of us are like that and we're not alone in sharing that view. There are just some situations where I wouldn't feel comfortable putting myself in and I would presume than many married couples have varying thresholds of what they are comfortable with. What matters, IMO, is how both partners address those concerns (insecurities, jealousy...whatever you want to call it) and then find a compromise both can live with. I think people are kidding themselves if they think that because they are in a happy marriage and there is mutual trust, they could never be unfaithful to their partner (and you don't have to sleep with another person to be unfaithful). Infidelity happens to good people in good marriages sometimes and although it seems appropriate to blame it on bad judgment or untrustworthiness, I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

Edited March 10, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

[Alex+R 0]

Steven, you have to admit that you're a fairly jealous guy. I think if you are not afflicted with jealousy, you won't care who they invite over.

Both of us are like that and we're not alone in sharing that view. There are just some situations where I wouldn't feel comfortable putting myself in and I would presume than many married couples have varying thresholds of what they are comfortable with. What matters, IMO, is how both partners address those concerns (insecurities, jealousy...whatever you want to call it) and then find a compromise both can live with. I think people are kidding themselves if they think that because they are in a happy marriage and there is mutual trust, they could never be unfaithful to their partner (and you don't have to sleep with another person to be unfaithful). Infidelity happens to good people in good marriages sometimes and although it seems appropriate to blame it on bad judgment or untrustworthiness, I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

I don't feel like I'm always on the verge of cheating on my spouse and I have to restrain myself at every turn. I don't *want* to cheat on my spouse. I can confidently say there is no situation that I could be in that would make me cheat on my husband unless deep down I wanted to throw away my relationship. I know the temptation to cheat theoretically comes up in every marriage, but I'm not a werewolf who turns into an adulterer at midnight. I can control myself.

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

Why do we care what the neighbors think? (Anyway, aren't your neighbors like, deer or somthing? )

[Scott & Lai 12]

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

How precisely will my neighbors know whom I'm chatting with in order to develop any perceptions? If they know what I'm doing on my computer in my home, the problem isn't infidelity....

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

Why do we care what the neighbors think? (Anyway, aren't your neighbors like, deer or somthing? )

you should care, some love to gossip. neighbors, not deer....

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

How precisely will my neighbors know whom I'm chatting with in order to develop any perceptions? If they know what I'm doing on my computer in my home, the problem isn't infidelity....

that was in reference to someone of the opposite sex visiting one's spouse while the other is away from the home.

[Alex+R 0]

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

Why do we care what the neighbors think? (Anyway, aren't your neighbors like, deer or somthing? )

you should care, some love to gossip. neighbors, not deer....

Everyone gossips. At the end of the day, it's your life. Who cares?

[Scott & Lai 12]

Why do we care what the neighbors think? (Anyway, aren't your neighbors like, deer or somthing? )

Hey, now, not in front of the animals, you might frighten them

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

I think we have a responsibility to not put ourselves in compromising situations.

and there is also the perception other people (like one's neighbor's) might have too.

Why do we care what the neighbors think? (Anyway, aren't your neighbors like, deer or somthing? )

you should care, some love to gossip. neighbors, not deer....

Everyone gossips. At the end of the day, it's your life. Who cares?

your choice. personally i think prudence is a better choice.

[Alex+R 0]

Charles, my neighbors called me a motherfcuker through the wall last night and they haven't even met me. I don't think anything I do will make them like me now.

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

Charles, my neighbors called me a motherfcuker through the wall last night and they haven't even met me. I don't think anything I do will make them like me now.

you were cooking dinner and setting off the fire alarms again weren't you?

[Alex+R 0]

Charles, my neighbors called me a motherfcuker through the wall last night and they haven't even met me. I don't think anything I do will make them like me now.

you were cooking dinner and setting off the fire alarms again weren't you?

No, I asked them to be quiet. Although tonight I was boiling water and I burned the pot's handle because the flames were jumping up too high so now our apartment smells like melting plastic. Blechh.