Is Chatting With A Member Of The Opposite Sex Cheating?

[natasha peter 0]

My husband and I have a very simple theory:

If you feel that you have to lie/hide/or be secretive about chatting online or communicating with someone of the opposite sex; then it obviously means that (a) you know it is an inappropriate relationship and could be construed as cheating in some way, ( B) you should desist from it as it could lead to more (why else would one not be honest about it in the first place) and © if you're unsure, put yourself in your partners shoes as to how you would feel if you found your partner in such a situation.

simplistic attitude !!!

I encorage her to have friends. I draw the line at chatting with other men though (relatives excluded). Call it control or what you will but I have would have a problem with her chatting with another man on a computer that I bought, over the Internet that I pay for, on the time that she has free because I support her.

Dude, with all due respect, you're seriously fcked up. There's control, and there's abuse.

I hope your wife finds some normal guy online real soon. I hope you pay for it too.

[natasha peter 0]

but what if the screen names you see on his msn are "titiesjiggler and seemyrocks or angeleyedkitty" etc hhhhh

There's a saying "flirting is cheatings second cousin"

I think if it's a joint email address you give out it doesn't seem as bad as if it's a personal address.

interesting how many guys I thought were just friends suddenly dissappeared when I got married. I can't think of a reason to give out my email unless it's business related and than I wouldn't have to hide it. If your spouse says they NEVER chat online to the opposite sex "flirting" than believe them, but I don't think they should give out theyre email or msn, yahoo etc to the oposite sex. That seems too intimate. A forum is different or community chit chat seems harmless. But thats me

flirting is cheating 's second cousin ,

chatting to ppl of oppsite sex is 1st cousin of manipualtive person when couples fight or resent ment in 2 individuals starts as some ppl think its option i have out in virtual world,which is fatal thought and actions which can bruise and caus deadly demise of trust.

Why would someone need a new chat buddy? I will not chat with other women because there is no need to.

This is exactly my thoughts on the matter, the bottomline for me is that my husband nor I need any opposite sex friends.

There is a level of emotional intimacy that evolves between two friends.. male or female.

I perosnally dont think I need to be emotionally intimate with any man other than my husband and my family members. And I expect the same from my husband. This is what works for us.

What works for others is their business.

Lisa

I editted to add this:

I dont think everyone who hears "im happily married" gives a #######. I have seen women and men "befriend" someone knowing they are married. It usually ends bad for someone.

[natasha peter 0]

It depends on the context, but in most cases its flirting with disaster IMO. Especially if its a "new" friend.

I would imagine people who met their SO online are especially sensitive to this. There are always variables of course. But I dont think I would approve, does this make me jealous? yep. I know my husband would strongly disapprove of me engaging in chats with some new random dude.

so true

[morocco4ever 63]

No time to finish reading the entire, but this is an interesting subject. I think if you have keep the lines of comunication open then you will have trust. My husband has talked to other women online, and I know everything that is said. He is usually trying to line them up with his friends. He even tries to enlist me to encourage her to give his friends a chance. Does this upset me? Only if I think he friend is going to use the woman for a visa, but not because he is talking to her.

On the other hand, if he lied about it, or hid it from me then I would be pretty pissed.

[LuckyDucky 0]

I think everyone will have to hammer out their own arrangement with their spouse. I can only offer what my fiancee and I have as an example. It certainly won't work for everyone and I won't claim it's better or worse, but it seems to work for us so far.

Both of us talk with members of the opposite sex. We don't hide any sort of interaction with them and this is always communicated during our phone conversations. (We're still working on the visa petition, so we're not physically together at this point.) I don't see it as intrusive; she always inquires about my day and this is all part of that.

When she knows I go out with a female friend (and I usually tell her that I have plans), she says she is unthreatened by it. Ironically, I usually end up talking about my fiancee, anyway. In fact, she's even cautioned me not to talk about her too much because she worries my friends will get bored! hehe

My fiancee also has some very close male friends. They call her 'sister' and they invite her out and hang out with them. I've met many of them and I think they are nice, honorable guys. But more to the point, I trust my fiancee. Do I think that some of her guy friends have a crush on her? Sure I do. I find my fiancee to be a wonderful, warm, loving person and I know other people see it, too. I'd be surprised if guys didn't like her! But regardless of what other men think, I know that she would never encourage anything but friendship.

Best of luck to you two!

Edited March 11, 2008 by LuckyDucky

[sj5 4]

Alex+R, I think you don't mind to visit me in our home while my husband is working? do you think its good?

My husband is like you too.. he don't mind people coming in and out on our door.

( )

Edited March 11, 2008 by SJ

[Teacher Mark 53]

My husband and I have a very simple theory:

If you feel that you have to lie/hide/or be secretive about chatting online or communicating with someone of the opposite sex; then it obviously means that (a) you know it is an inappropriate relationship and could be construed as cheating in some way, ( B) you should desist from it as it could lead to more (why else would one not be honest about it in the first place) and © if you're unsure, put yourself in your partners shoes as to how you would feel if you found your partner in such a situation.

simplistic attitude !!!

I encorage her to have friends. I draw the line at chatting with other men though (relatives excluded). Call it control or what you will but I have would have a problem with her chatting with another man on a computer that I bought, over the Internet that I pay for, on the time that she has free because I support her.

Dude, with all due respect, you're seriously fcked up. There's control, and there's abuse.

I hope your wife finds some normal guy online real soon. I hope you pay for it too.

http://www.ooze.com/finger/html/random_famous.html

These things have a way of boomeranging on us you know.

[eric&gen 0]

If a wife is chatting on line having screen names of guys means she is a chat ####### and ought to be delt with right away especially if they are exchanging pictures and nude pictures is just wrong behind husbands back.

are you a chat ####### if you (truthfully) boast about the size of your ####### regularly on a web forum?

Yeah he he he.

[sj5 4]

If a wife is chatting on line having screen names of guys means she is a chat ####### and ought to be delt with right away especially if they are exchanging pictures and nude pictures is just wrong behind husbands back.

I sent my husband pictures to the girls. Then how I name myself?

Edited March 12, 2008 by SJ

[Teacher Mark 53]

Well it turned out she (my Wife) was cheating, or at least plotting. Ole' Joe didn't seem to be in her, or her lover's, long term plans. Seems like they could have worked me in there somewhere?! Isn't it shocking? Wanna' hear more?

Oh what a tangled web we weave,

when first we practice to deceive!

Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.

Scottish author & novelist (1771 - 1832)

[Marilyn. 340]

oh man really? so sorry Joe....

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

huh?

[Teacher Mark 53]

oh man really? so sorry Joe....

Why? I discovered the plot BEFORE she was able to get there. Everything unfolded over the past year, so I had time to prepare. We've been separated over 2 months now.

In exchange for the pain, humiliation and lost money I got an amazing life in Vietnam.

Edited June 10, 2009 by Joe Six-Pack

[Teacher Mark 53]

huh?

Hi Charles.

Edited June 10, 2009 by Joe Six-Pack

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

Wow, that is terrible, Mark. I am sorry to hear.

Do you plan on staying in Vietnam, teaching English?