Is Chatting With A Member Of The Opposite Sex Cheating?

[Teacher Mark 53]

I was talking with someone about this a few weeks ago (not spouse or me doing it). Tell me what ya' think.

[Peikko 1,575]

Cheating how? We are talking about just having normal conversations aren't we?

[ZansGirl 0]

I was talking with someone about this a few weeks ago (not spouse or me doing it). Tell me what ya' think.

Coming from someone who suffered because of this..( ex and 'associate' began what he claimed as a harmless relationship..fast forward to two years later and my marriage ended because of his infidelity) I would have to say.....

one one hand...not good..flirting with danger there..unless...both partners are fully aware of the chatting and one does not hide info, messages or anything from the other......

I met my Fiance on line so we all know how fast that can turn into a relationship...just be carefull and really use good judgement

Tangie

[Jason-Sasha 1]

Depends on the context. If its a new cyber friend, then it can't be going in the right direction. If it's a preexisting friend that stays in touch via the internet, then perhaps there's nothing wrong with this. But as soon as any type of flirting begins, its emotional cheating. At least, in my book. I don't think Sasha or I would tollerate this behavior. And neither one of us needs a new cyber friend.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I don't consider anything that does not have a physical connection true cheating. I may not care for it, but it is not cheating. The line gets drawn if you go out and meet the person in the flesh and then continue this activity.

[Jason-Sasha 1]

I don't consider anything that does not have a physical connection true cheating. I may not care for it, but it is not cheating. The line gets drawn if you go out and meet the person in the flesh and then continue this activity.

Yeah, but what if you discovered that there was flirting and sexual interest being displayed in these chats? Just because its not actually physical, does it make it ok?

*note...Jeff I know this wouldn't happen, but you know what I mean.

[Teacher Mark 53]

Cheating how? We are talking about just having normal conversations aren't we?

Let's say it's just chatting, BUT it's with someone from that person country and you don't speak the language.

[Alex+R 0]

You'd have to be really insecure to not "allow" your partner to chat with the opposite sex, in real life or online.

Flirting is an entirely different thing.

Cheating how? We are talking about just having normal conversations aren't we?

Let's say it's just chatting, BUT it's with someone from that person country and you don't speak the language.

What, you'd want them to provide a translation for you? Would you care if they talked to their parents, siblings or friends in that language? (Can't imagine why the jealous spouse wouldn't just learn the language anyway.)

[eekee 182]

my best friend is a guy. just TALKING isn't cheating... i agree with Kazan' Tiger, unless it turns into phone/cyber sex.

[Teacher Mark 53]

You'd have to be really insecure to not "allow" your partner to chat with the opposite sex, in real life or online.

Flirting is an entirely different thing.

Cheating how? We are talking about just having normal conversations aren't we?

Let's say it's just chatting, BUT it's with someone from that person country and you don't speak the language.

What, you'd want them to provide a translation for you? Would you care if they talked to their parents, siblings or friends in that language? (Can't imagine why the jealous spouse wouldn't just learn the language anyway.)

If it were me chatting with a member of the opposite sex would be an automatic divorce. I've seen this turn from innocent chatting to divorce several times with family and friends. Want a friend? Get a dog.

http://survivinginfidelity.com/healing_lib...on/internet.asp

Edited March 9, 2008 by WideAwakeInTheUSA

[Niels Bohr 72]

The spouse must be very controlling if the spouse prevents anybody from the opposite to communicate. It's a very detrimental relationship. Just talking is not cheating, but, don't lie that you're not married when you're talking or don't lie that you're single when you obviously not. This can lead to problems in the future.

[eekee 182]

If it were me chatting with a memeber of the oppsoste sex would be an automatic divorce. I've seen this turn from innocent chatting to divorce several times with family and friends. Want a friend? Get a dog.

seriously?????????????????????????? shouldn't you trust your spouse to have FRIENDS?

[Peikko 1,575]

My husband and I have faith in each other so I don't view his activities as suspicious and vice versa. Of course if you have to ask, you have an agenda of some kind, either wishing to justify banning the activity or wishing to participate. Banning it means you wish to control your spouse's environment, which I don't think is wise, and wishing to justify it means you have a different eganda to 'just chatting'. That is my opinion, take it or leave it.

[*JG* 2]

Depends on the context. If its a new cyber friend, then it can't be going in the right direction. If it's a preexisting friend that stays in touch via the internet, then perhaps there's nothing wrong with this. But as soon as any type of flirting begins, its emotional cheating. At least, in my book. I don't think Sasha or I would tollerate this behavior. And neither one of us needs a new cyber friend.

I might have said this before I started hanging out on some forums and talking to new people. Sometimes it has led to PM's, IM's, e-mails, phone calls, and on several occassions, face to face meetings.

The key I think is to keep it plantonic. And, I agree with what someone said about keeping it out in the open. I think things you have to intentionally hide from your spouse is where the problems develop.

[Teacher Mark 53]

If it were me chatting with a memeber of the oppsoste sex would be an automatic divorce. I've seen this turn from innocent chatting to divorce several times with family and friends. Want a friend? Get a dog.

seriously?????????????????????????? shouldn't you trust your spouse to have FRIENDS?

I encorage her to have friends. I draw the line at chatting with other men though (relatives excluded). Call it control or what you will but I have would have a problem with her chatting with another man on a computer that I bought, over the Internet that I pay for, on the time that she has free because I support her.

The incident that me and a friend were discussing had him catching his wife with a chat window open. The user name was in English and sexually suggestive. She claimed she didn't know it was suggestive and that is probably true, BUT with a user name like this he only had one thing on his mind. They were chatting in another language that the man did not speak. He then had her open her account and it was loaded with chat partners. She claimed that she had not talked to any of them since she met him, but was caught red handed talikng to one. I'm sorry, she would have to go.

Edited March 9, 2008 by WideAwakeInTheUSA