Raising Children - Differences Between MENA and here in the US

[nu7015 0]

Holy Moly! 8th grade??????????? One good thing is that my religion is similar to the muslim religion so we both agree on when she can date/how she can dress, etc.

[SaadBell 0]

Yes they start to have sex young, my daughter who is now 22 is still a virgin, don't know how it happened, but thank goodness. She graduates UF this May and is on her way for her masters. Talking, talking and more talking, it is hard to raise daughters these days. Now Hesham is like, thinking of husbands, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't take that yet, but yes they can turn out pure. Just keep the lines open, I found it hard to talk about sex with my daughter, I thought I was soooooooooooooooooooooooo liberal, until the moment came, and I really was embarrassed.

[nu7015 0]

We have had a similar discussion. Lets just say I made it clear that I have raised 4 kids, he has raised none. I don't care if he has been around kids alot, I don't care if they adore him, he hasn't been a parent and doesn't understand. Another point is that if he interferes it can cause problems with him and his relationship with her. He isn't her parent, and she will be quick to point that out if she hasn't already. Tell him it is better if she gets mad at you rather than him if he argues it.

I relate to this!

[jade2004 0]

Wow...Moe is just the opposite....he says I am WAYYY to hard on my 3 year old...lol...when she whines or cries and he hears her--he immediately takes her side and tells me to give her what she wants...or give her candy....why do u make her cry like this???? LOL...but the dating...for our children together and even my 3 year old...is waaayyyy out of the question...my daughters real dad is pretty adament that she can't date either...God bless her if she ever wants to try with both of them...they will probably team up together.

Also, I am pretty close to my ex and his new wife so we all kinda make a team effort--so it makes it a little easier for all of us...but I think I am the toughest one of them all....LOL...maybe i need to lighten up a little...haha

[doodlebugg 10]

Wow...Moe is just the opposite....he says I am WAYYY to hard on my 3 year old...lol...when she whines or cries and he hears her--he immediately takes her side and tells me to give her what she wants...or give her candy....why do u make her cry like this???? LOL...but the dating...for our children together and even my 3 year old...is waaayyyy out of the question...my daughters real dad is pretty adament that she can't date either...God bless her if she ever wants to try with both of them...they will probably team up together.

Also, I am pretty close to my ex and his new wife so we all kinda make a team effort--so it makes it a little easier for all of us...but I think I am the toughest one of them all....LOL...maybe i need to lighten up a little...haha

I think it's different when they're little. I even joke with Usama sometimes about how once we have a child together inshallah I'll be like, "just wait till your father gets home!!", and he replied, "i would just hug him and kiss him". Once they hit the age of reason though I think their theories change up.

[Nutty 2]

In a way you are comparing apples to oranges...Large, extended families to your small one.

In a large extended family, parenting is done by aunts, uncles and older siblings...So no matter where the attention is coming from, it is coming from someone (to the child).

But since you don't have that kind of support structure...of course you are the primary person to guide your child.

So, no, I don't think your parenting skills should be questioned.

Of course, don't smother your kid and schedule extensive extra-curicular activities (every day a different after-school project or program).

[nu7015 0]

Wow...Moe is just the opposite....he says I am WAYYY to hard on my 3 year old...lol...when she whines or cries and he hears her--he immediately takes her side and tells me to give her what she wants...or give her candy....why do u make her cry like this???? LOL...but the dating...for our children together and even my 3 year old...is waaayyyy out of the question...my daughters real dad is pretty adament that she can't date either...God bless her if she ever wants to try with both of them...they will probably team up together.

Also, I am pretty close to my ex and his new wife so we all kinda make a team effort--so it makes it a little easier for all of us...but I think I am the toughest one of them all....LOL...maybe i need to lighten up a little...haha

Ahhhhhhhh yes! This is how it was with my husband before he came here too! He always thought I was being too hard on her and always took her side and wanted me to always give in to everything she wanted. Now that he's here, it's a different story! LOL

[nu7015 0]

My husband had it all worked out in his head that when he got here he would win my daughter's heart and they would instantly hit it off. He wanted and still wants to give her the world. My daughter isn't quite as keen on him moving into 'her' world and doesn't like having to 'share' me. So between my husband's plans being squashed and my daughter struggling with giving up some of her space, it's been an interesting year or so.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I, my siblings and cousins were raised communally, as if we had several parents. Not only that, but the neighbors acted as parents, too. It was great because, as long as my mother's brother and my father's sister and grandmother are alive, I still have parents! It's a child's dream! I love it!

Edited March 7, 2008 by Virtual wife

[sarahaziz 0]

I don't like the freedom children and teenagers have here. Little kids arguing with parents and bring bratty over candy at the store or just being manner-less. My spouse and I agree our child should be brought up culturally and religiously as we were raised. Absolutely NO dating or sexual intercourse before marriage. Kid's free to marry whoever as long as they are within our Cultural, language, ethnics community.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I don't like the freedom children and teenagers have here. Little kids arguing with parents and bring bratty over candy at the store or just being manner-less. My spouse and I agree our child should be brought up culturally and religiously as we were raised. Absolutely NO dating or sexual intercourse before marriage. Kid's free to marry whoever as long as they are within our Cultural, language, ethnics community.

Oh stop sanctifying Algerian kids...I saw 10 year old boys chain smoking cigarettes......American kids arent all brats....and I saw some prettyhorrible algerian kids running around....they beg for candy over there too

[morocco4ever 63]

One thing about children raised either in MENA or by a MENA parent is that they are so used to numerous ppl disciplining them....mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. My children wouldn't never think of telling my husband that he isn't their father so he has no right to discipline them. They may think it but they know better than to say it.

He isn't her parent, and she will be quick to point that out if she hasn't already.

I do hear you. My husband told me that in Morocco it is everyone's responsibility to raise each others children. Even to the point of beatings....can't say I am much for that, but it is nice in other respects to have everyones help. I would just prefer that they inform me and let me deal with it since it is my responsibility. My husband even told me that the neighbor was taking her son to get circumcised, and decided to take him along with and get him done as well. Now in their culture that is normal and acceptable, but I just couldn't deal with that personally.

How old is your daughter Moody? It sounds like you have done a great job teaching her respect. Unfortunately not all girls respond the same. I have 4 daughters, no sons. None of them would talk to my husband in that fashion either (if they know what is good for them), but again, the discipline is my job not his. I would much rather he was the fun one and I am the heavy.

Edited March 8, 2008 by morocco4ever