want kids?

[mawilson 2,133]

Figure at least 400/month (if youre lucky) for daycare for five years. Thats for one child.. Im not sure what kind of buy one get one half off sales you can get at daycares LOL

That's not too bad. My parking permit costs more than that.

A good friend of mine is paying $1500 a month for infant daycare. The costs go down as the child gets older, I am told. So figure $36k for the first two years.

$1500 a month? Yikes, that would cut into my drinking allowance.

oh man, I was just thinking the same . I guess I'll pass on having kids. Unless I quit working, we'd save money like that. But then I'd be one of those frustrated housewives that hate their lives.

I think you're more likely to become a frustrated housewife who hates her life if you do have kids

[Martiniolive 0]

We will enjoy each other for the first few years and after we are sick and tired and bored with all they great sex will have while traveling and making a life together.....than we will try to adopt 1-2 kids.

[kisschick1976 0]

not just no but hell no. We do not want kids. I had to choose the 'Whatever' option.

We wouldn't want to have to fight over the xbox

Seriously though, I've been trying to get my tubes tied for quite some time. In the US, Planned Parenthood told me that the insurance I had covered the procedure, the doctor, the anesthesia etc... but not the facility. #######?!? They were not amused when I said the doctor could come around to my house and do it

Now that I'm here in the UK I have been given every freaking excuse available. I'm too young (I'm 31) I haven't had any children yet (well duh! That's what I'm trying to avoid!) You've only just got married! (why is that their business?) as well as 'Oh we just don't do that sort of thing in this country!' I'm just going to keep pushing for it until someone finally caves in and does it. I made this decision long before I met my husband and I'm very glad that he is just as adamant about it as I am. They suggested an IUD so I went in to get the Mirena placed and the doctor couldn't do it. My uterus was too small (the damn IUD itself is the size of a quarter!) so he put me on the last thing I wanted, the pill. I have had 3 weeks of increasing PMS and we are both miserable. The pounds are piling back on after I went through so much to lose them in the first place! The doctor recommended I go to the local GUM clinic and ask about getting the Implanon implant. He said it's not a very nice place because you sit around for a long time in a room full of people with STD's (lol planned parenthood?) maybe I just won't sit in their chairs

Reading up on GUM clinics, I may be able to convince them to let me choose to have them tie my tubes. I hope so. I talked with a nurse practitioner before the IUD incident and she said my husband and I may have to go through months of counciling before they will even decide to do the operation. I don't care anymore, anything, we will sit and talk with them as long as in the end we get it done. FFS! What a damn hassle!

Can your husband get a vasectomy or is he too young by UK standards? I know my brother-in-law, WHO HAS TWO children and was slightly under 35 was denied the procedure. That is just CRAZY in my opinion. Wacky UK!

Yeah, almost everyone we talk to has suggested he get snipped... right after they tell me that we are to young as a couple He's a chicken though. We've talked about it for over a year now and it just keeps coming back to me getting the operation. I don't work or when I do I work from home so I have all the recovery time in the world. He would have to miss work. I got all worried about the side effects of vasectomies even if they are rare He was circumcised when he was ten so he's still a little nervous about scalpels near his wang. Me, I've had so much stuff done to my plumbing that another procedure would just be normal to me. At this point it's still an option but we are still leaning to the tubal ligation side.

I don't see why it's up to anyone else what age you want to get sterilized, it's not really anyone else's business to tell you not to! Don't get me started on wacky UK stuff, I can complain for hours about these Sunday trading laws. but that's enough for another thread right there.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Figure at least 400/month (if youre lucky) for daycare for five years. Thats for one child.. Im not sure what kind of buy one get one half off sales you can get at daycares LOL

That's not too bad. My parking permit costs more than that.

A good friend of mine is paying $1500 a month for infant daycare. The costs go down as the child gets older, I am told. So figure $36k for the first two years.

That's insane. Is this a northeast thing, or a fancy daycare?? You also need to discuss with your wife if she wants to stay home with the kids or not, and whether or not it's possible financially.

I don't think you need to do too much homework besides financial homework before trying for a baby, until you get closer to it since you are saying 2-3 years. In one or two years, you can start learning more info about a baby...unless you already want to learn about it. When you feel like it's time you will naturally be more interested in reading about baby things.

One more cost is diapers, and wipes. We got a lot at our shower so I don't have a figure yet for how much it costs per month. We have only bought like 3 packs of diapers ourselves so far, they were $5 something each for newborn size in Target's brand(which worked fine).

Ya, that figure is insanity! wow!

How could I forget diapers?? lol

[panamania79 2]

I am curious,what can I say? AND I wanted to start a poll for some reason.

Yes,I have one son.Yes,I want to have one with my SO once he gets here.

[bora bora 1]

I can't believe that daycare is as much as $1100/month. Wow! A friend of mine pays $500/month unless it's a 5-week month, then she pays $650. The only upside is that her son is fed there and that boy CAN eat.

[PlatyPius 5]

not just no but hell no. We do not want kids. I had to choose the 'Whatever' option.

We wouldn't want to have to fight over the xbox

Seriously though, I've been trying to get my tubes tied for quite some time. In the US, Planned Parenthood told me that the insurance I had covered the procedure, the doctor, the anesthesia etc... but not the facility. #######?!? They were not amused when I said the doctor could come around to my house and do it

Now that I'm here in the UK I have been given every freaking excuse available. I'm too young (I'm 31) I haven't had any children yet (well duh! That's what I'm trying to avoid!) You've only just got married! (why is that their business?) as well as 'Oh we just don't do that sort of thing in this country!' I'm just going to keep pushing for it until someone finally caves in and does it. I made this decision long before I met my husband and I'm very glad that he is just as adamant about it as I am. They suggested an IUD so I went in to get the Mirena placed and the doctor couldn't do it. My uterus was too small (the damn IUD itself is the size of a quarter!) so he put me on the last thing I wanted, the pill. I have had 3 weeks of increasing PMS and we are both miserable. The pounds are piling back on after I went through so much to lose them in the first place! The doctor recommended I go to the local GUM clinic and ask about getting the Implanon implant. He said it's not a very nice place because you sit around for a long time in a room full of people with STD's (lol planned parenthood?) maybe I just won't sit in their chairs

Reading up on GUM clinics, I may be able to convince them to let me choose to have them tie my tubes. I hope so. I talked with a nurse practitioner before the IUD incident and she said my husband and I may have to go through months of counciling before they will even decide to do the operation. I don't care anymore, anything, we will sit and talk with them as long as in the end we get it done. FFS! What a damn hassle!

I have never understood why it is so difficult for a woman to make sure that she can't have kids. I've heard stories of the same sorts of arguments you've posted - you haven't had any kids yet, you're too young, you haven't been married long, etc. How does any of that in ANY way affect the decision to not throw more yelping offspring into the world? Are they trying to say that women are only good as "Breeders", and therefore don't have the ability to decide to not have kids? I can't really think of any other reason for telling every single female that enters the office that she's too young, that she hasn't spawned yet, that she might change her mind, etc etc.

It all sounds like bullsh!t to me. If a woman wants it done, do it. End of discussion.

[Krikit 1,164]

I had a friend who was adamant she did not want children and was able to talk her doctor into a tubal ligation. Fast forward 10 years later. She now desperately wants children and the procedure cannot be reversed. She has spent thousands on unsuccessful in vitro fertilization. She is miserable. I can see why doctors do not like to perform tubal ligations on young women. Thoughts are easily reversible but surgery is not.

BTW... I cannot believe how inexpensive daycare is in the US.

[sara535 15]

I voted no and no and then I thought DAMMIT!! Its too late!!

and on top of that I went ahead and got more cats too!!

1500 and even 1100/mo for daycare really is insane. I was paying 500 ( or actually 25 a day) to share an in home nanny with another family so she had my tiny little baby and a 3 year old. She also cooked, cleaned, and did laundry. It was perfect right up until I got laid off and so now I am at home with my girl. Unemployment has its upside. Seriously, Troll, if you see this coming down the road look around and see what other daycare options are around, I was very pleased with the nanny sharing situation. My older child was in an in home daycare (licensed of course) for 4 years when he was little and it was a lot cheaper than a commercial day care center as well as, in my opinion, a much kinder and gentler place for the little ones. The provider there took the kids out in her yard to plant flowers, did art projects all the time, etc etc. Its definitely worth it to 'shop around' and absolutely get a variety of options and recommendations.

[JandC 0]

Yup...we want to have children. Hopefully in the next year or so. We aren't in any rush though.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Nope.

Yeah.

3

[Saddle Bronc 124]

No, yes (edit: as SO is in the US now, we're trying), whatever