Has the Immigration Process Turned You Into a Monster?

[AlHayatZween 2]

It sure has.It has lierally turned me into her.

Hahaha! Me, too.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Dont let the process take you down that road, it will just make things worse.

[doodlebugg 10]

When I get flickers of hope that we're almost done I'm ok but when it is over a month or two with no new movement I tend to become monsterlike.

[raymaga 25]

When my husband and I were going through the K-1 process, we only lived 3 hours from each other, so we had no "separation issues". However, we got to the point that all we ever talked about was immigration this... immigration that... etc. and we lost all the fun parts of our relationship. We had a couple of mildly serious fights (well, disagreements) until we realized that it wasn't going to go on forever, and tried to relax a bit.

We have been together for 5 years now, I'm waiting for my Naturalization interview, and when I look back now at all the paperwork, stress, and uncertainty, I can actually smile.

Would I "choose" to do it all over again.... probably not.... but it's way too late for that now... my husband's "a keeper"!!!!!

Best wishes to everyone still waiting to be with their partners.... your days are coming!!!

[jundp 191]

The immigration process hasn't been the stressful part for me, once the initial paperwork for the K1 app and then the embassy packets were finished. I feel hopeful and have felt that way since the NO2 was issued. There was that length of time (4 or 5 months?) before we got that when I thought "#######, what if they deny us?!" Now, I have a better grip.

The hardest part for me has been other aspects of our lives that can't be changed even by a speedy interview and issuance of visa. That's the fact that P has to finish grad school before he can even get here. We have been incredibly fortunate to have had many visits back and forth. The longest we've gone between visits is 5 months (that's the one I just started yesterday!) the average length of time has been 3 or 4 months between visits. I count myself fortunate because I know many on here don't have that opportunity. Some have gone over a year without seeing their SO which I can't imagine.

to everyone If we can stand this process, we just might have a fighting chance in a world of disposable relationships.

[msu17 0]

I definitely felt like that a lot during the process. There were several months where I didn't go out, didnt talk to friends etc. and just sat checking USCIS every minute. I always found making plans with my husband helped. When I'd visit next, where we would go on vacation eventually, what we want our dream house to look like, that kinda stuff. If I were you, I'd try to think more positively (easier said than done!) and try to make decisions assuming he'll get here, like signing a lease on an apartment. To a point I agree with Jomo's girl...

Once he gets here, there's still lots of struggles (ie we're in FBI name checks, so NO clue when we'll see his green card). However the struggles here we can at least face together. It's never going to be easy (even more so considering where your SO is from) but in the end I believe its worth it. Plus we have a lot of cool things others don't have with more "normal" relationships. Our kids have 2 citizenships and 2 heritages. We have a cool place to go for vacation any time we want. For lots of people they get the opportunity to learn another language. You always have the coolest story of how you met or who your SO is... If anyone ever complains about their wedding or long distance problems, you can butt in and say they don't know what tough is

[panamania79 2]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

It is ?

[tammy2688 1]

hey,

I think that "freakout" girl was made for us wifies or fianceesses lol

serously, i even talk like a monster with my mom now, she gets angry when she sees me worry excessively, and the bad thing is I do till the point where I want to get away from myself

I did not even mind the usual process, I filed a I-130 after marriage and my husband got his interview within 9 months. That would have been fine. But now we have AP FRO THE PAST 6 MONTHS. Oh wow I never even knew name checks were done like that and AFTER th interview? Why interview then? Why not run all that first, get cleared and then interview and give the visa? Well its not up to me how it all works, I believe God is the real master of all things and all things happen for a reason. I have honestly learned to be a good wife, good human being and a servant of God during this process. Sometimes the blurried happiness of first real love makes you forget about those things. But ya I am really in prayers that this thing wont drag out to b like a 10 month name check. I wish it will be over in the coming months.

This goes for everyone, with or without AP, I just mentioned that cause it sometimes takes 2/3 of your usual wait time!

I wonder too, am I fun anymore? Can I make peope laugh without being cynical? Where have all the friends gone? At this point who needs the ones who don't get it anyway right? Mainly we need our husbands to at least come here and get a feel for this place so that there can be some peace and satisfaction in our hearts. I even try to test myself to see if I can be "fun" like wonder how our first movie is going to be together, ya not to worry, our old selves are totally in there We just understand to keep it at a pause until we can utilize it.

You know I was just discussing that whole "don't wanna start anything new, extensive, etc" why is that?? why? He can't take on responsibility at work cause he wishes to come here upon visa issuance, I cannot seem to have any form of plan about my life such as the normal, Oh Im gonna do this next month because its just all hanging on that visa. Seriously though, there is an end to it all. What is bad is when the two people become distant for this. We talk about this in every phone call as well, and I told him on the last call to have some relax time cause our patience is being tested and being psycho about is won't expediate anything.

I really wish for us who are waiting to be reunited with our SOs. May God give us his blessings in the right time.

Tammy

[AlHayatZween 2]

Wow, Tammy, i am so sorry that your AP is taking so long. It is terribly uncertain and you know you are doing all the right things, only you can't really control much. My prayers are with you.

We are supposed to have our interview next month, inchallah. And it is exciting to be gathering the documents together and making the medical appointment. i bought a plane ticket yesterday to go out to Maghreb for the interview. These feel like small victories to us. i am trying to keep positive regarding the interview, because who knows, maybe we will be lucky and we'll know something sooner rather than later.

And i agree with msu17... it's fun to talk about things and be hopeful for the future. We will have a good story to tell our kids, inchallah.

Also, maybe we will be fun again in the spring?? When it stays lighter longer and we can wear open-toed shoes? That always makes me happy.

Good luck and thanks for sharing everyone!