Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[Marlita 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

Exactly, I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but knowing myself and the things I want to do in life...that have nothing to do with a career....I need someone who has the same goals otherwise we as a couple will be so out of balance and will probably never get there. I believe in being compatilbe on many levels....religion, ambitions, dreams, this compatiblity will help us grow together, and not grow apart.

But what if your man is content and happy "washing the floors" or any other "menial" type job? What if that is his passion in life and he doesn't see it as a starting point but somewhere that he is happy and comfortable with as his job in life? Would you be ok with that?

Wow, I would never call any of those jobs "menial". I think everyone should do what they need to do to support themselves or their family....theres nothing menial about that. I personally just don't like to stick to doing just one thing and I don't think that washing floors can support me, a child, a husband, a house and all the other expenses that we would surely have. I don't beleive in living in debt, out of your means, or in misery. If he can get a "better- paying" job then he definitely needs to have to drive to do that if he is with me. I can't imagine he would stay at that job knowing that he could get another one that helps himself and his family out more. A man that doesnt have the drive to get out of a dificult situation is just not for me.

[1luv 1]

Well I have been scanning through what has bee said and I wanna put in my likkle 2 cents. I just dont want anyone to laff and make fun of what I am abt to say. I am a college graduate and my hubby well lets put it, he cannot read and write so well. I love and respect him with all my heart, and this has never been a problem to me and I havent loved hima any less. He is enrolled in a school where he starts out with the basics and then he will work his way up. HE works in a factory and I work in a hospital. Let me tell you, he is very intellegent and nobody can fool him. HE makes fun of me that I am "book smart", but he is "street smart"

Edited March 11, 2008 by 1luv

[Marlita 0]

Well I have been scanning through what has bee said and I wanna put in my likkle 2 cents. I just dont want anyone to laff and make fun of what I am abt to say. I am a college graduate and my hubby well lets put it, he cannot read and write so well. I love and respect him with all my heart, and this has never been a problem to me and I havent loved hima any less. He is enrolled in a school where he starts out with the basics and then he will work his way up. HE works in a factory and I work in a hospital. Let me tell you, he is very intellegent and nobody can fool him. HE makes fun of me that I am "book smart", but he is "street smart"

This is a prime example of a man having ambition to work his way up as you say. Exactly my point. i know many an man in his same situation of reading and writing and they have NO desire to change it.

[*JG* 2]

Well I have been scanning through what has bee said and I wanna put in my likkle 2 cents. I just dont want anyone to laff and make fun of what I am abt to say. I am a college graduate and my hubby well lets put it, he cannot read and write so well. I love and respect him with all my heart, and this has never been a problem to me and I havent loved hima any less. He is enrolled in a school where he starts out with the basics and then he will work his way up. HE works in a factory and I work in a hospital. Let me tell you, he is very intellegent and nobody can fool him. HE makes fun of me that I am "book smart", but he is "street smart"

No making fun of you, girl.

I know of a few other JA men referred to on prior Yardie threads who started out not being able to read and write. Some still have issues with it. They found gainful employment and love what they do. Of the two I am referring to, both wives report everything is just fine in their lives.

Whatever works for you, works for you. That's how I feel about everything.

Edited March 11, 2008 by Jomo's girl

[1luv 1]

Well I have been scanning through what has bee said and I wanna put in my likkle 2 cents. I just dont want anyone to laff and make fun of what I am abt to say. I am a college graduate and my hubby well lets put it, he cannot read and write so well. I love and respect him with all my heart, and this has never been a problem to me and I havent loved hima any less. He is enrolled in a school where he starts out with the basics and then he will work his way up. HE works in a factory and I work in a hospital. Let me tell you, he is very intellegent and nobody can fool him. HE makes fun of me that I am "book smart", but he is "street smart"

No making fun of you, girl.

I know of a few other JA men referred to on prior Yardie threads who started out not being able to read and write. Some still have issues with it. They found gainful employment and love what they do. Of the two I am referring to, both wives report everything is just fine in their lives.

Whatever works for you, works for you. That's how I feel about everything.

When my hubby told me at first, I was in shock cause I did not realize that someone so intellegent as himself had this problem. But I came to accept it and my life is as great as anyone elses!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

1luv...This is real life..no poking fun here

Ur hubby knows that reading and writing is something he wants to achieve so he is doing what is necessary. I forget who said but some men DO NOT care to ever learn and they are ok with that. Is it that they "think" learning to read and write will get them no further than where they r right now ?

[Yaads 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

Exactly, I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but knowing myself and the things I want to do in life...that have nothing to do with a career....I need someone who has the same goals otherwise we as a couple will be so out of balance and will probably never get there. I believe in being compatilbe on many levels....religion, ambitions, dreams, this compatiblity will help us grow together, and not grow apart.

But what if your man is content and happy "washing the floors" or any other "menial" type job? What if that is his passion in life and he doesn't see it as a starting point but somewhere that he is happy and comfortable with as his job in life? Would you be ok with that?

Wow, I would never call any of those jobs "menial". I think everyone should do what they need to do to support themselves or their family....theres nothing menial about that. I personally just don't like to stick to doing just one thing and I don't think that washing floors can support me, a child, a husband, a house and all the other expenses that we would surely have. I don't beleive in living in debt, out of your means, or in misery. If he can get a "better- paying" job then he definitely needs to have to drive to do that if he is with me. I can't imagine he would stay at that job knowing that he could get another one that helps himself and his family out more. A man that doesnt have the drive to get out of a dificult situation is just not for me.

That would be the definition of "those" jobs...menial...unskilled. Most people would consider washing floors, serving hamburgers, housekeeping etc to be menial work...work done by those unskilled/uneducated. That is the category they fall into by definition.

My point is what if he can support you and all your expectations with a job like washing the floors etc? Would that be ok with you? What if he was happy mowing the lawns of the neighborhood and made enough to support the household? Would you be ok with a husband who was content to just mow the lawns for the rest of his life?

[Marlita 0]

1luv...This is real life..no poking fun here

Ur hubby knows that reading and writing is something he wants to achieve so he is doing what is necessary. I forget who said but some men DO NOT care to ever learn and they are ok with that. Is it that they "think" learning to read and write will get them no further than where they r right now ?

This is the question! Trust me, I grew up with folks like this my whole life. They didn't have the desire to finish high school cause they thought it didn't matter. I always thought for me that it did matter. So in the long run, the 2 of us were on different paths and grew into different people with different goals. Now they then began to look down on ME cause I wanted to graduate and go to school. Thats the type of discrimination i got. People talked about me called me all kinds of names all because I wanted to learn more and get out of the neighborhood that I grew up in . What i reliaze now is that those people thought less of themselves, that why they acted the way they did with me, and they would have been happier had I not had the drive to do more.

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

Exactly, I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but knowing myself and the things I want to do in life...that have nothing to do with a career....I need someone who has the same goals otherwise we as a couple will be so out of balance and will probably never get there. I believe in being compatilbe on many levels....religion, ambitions, dreams, this compatiblity will help us grow together, and not grow apart.

But what if your man is content and happy "washing the floors" or any other "menial" type job? What if that is his passion in life and he doesn't see it as a starting point but somewhere that he is happy and comfortable with as his job in life? Would you be ok with that?

Wow, I would never call any of those jobs "menial". I think everyone should do what they need to do to support themselves or their family....theres nothing menial about that. I personally just don't like to stick to doing just one thing and I don't think that washing floors can support me, a child, a husband, a house and all the other expenses that we would surely have. I don't beleive in living in debt, out of your means, or in misery. If he can get a "better- paying" job then he definitely needs to have to drive to do that if he is with me. I can't imagine he would stay at that job knowing that he could get another one that helps himself and his family out more. A man that doesnt have the drive to get out of a dificult situation is just not for me.

That would be the definition of "those" jobs...menial...unskilled. Most people would consider washing floors, serving hamburgers, housekeeping etc to be menial work...work done by those unskilled/uneducated. That is the category they fall into by definition.

My point is what if he can support you and all your expectations with a job like washing the floors etc? Would that be ok with you? What if he was happy mowing the lawns of the neighborhood and made enough to support the household? Would you be ok with a husband who was content to just mow the lawns for the rest of his life?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Yards i get what ur saying...and it wouldn't matter for me as long as we were ABLE

[Marlita 0]

Yardie,

Heck yeah I'd be ok! If he is getting the job done by supporting his family and happy I would LOVE that! Thats what life is all about.  When I write on here, i write my OWN thoughts not what society says I should think, so I truly don't see those jobs as menial.  i for one want to be barefoot and pregant and would love for my man to support me.  I want to move from the states an live a carefree life somewhere else. i don't place to much emphasis on the "job" that you have cause i wasn't born to live life working, I want to live life living and that has always been my goal.  i need a man who has that same dream...and I beileve Evan does.<BR><BR>I dated a guy who made about $80K and was up for promotion.  He was a smart, good looking guy, and had drive, BUT he also didn't share the same goals as me....to be barefoot pregnant and living on some little island somewhere...haha.  he would have rather I stay working after haivn a baby and get a nanny.....oh no! He already makes $80K and I still need to work...his drive was all about the money...not about a good life and enjoying your family and kids.  He would never have liked the idea that I just want to be a Carni or something, cause to him, he had to have the perfect wife, 2 kids, hot car, exectutive job, and big house. So he needed his wife to work work work to support this dream.  Now thats ambition and drive, but it doesnt actually equate to happiness for us as a couple.

[1luv 1]

Yards i get what ur saying...and it wouldn't matter for me as long as we were ABLE

agreed!!

[nannygirl82 0]

1luv...This is real life..no poking fun here

Ur hubby knows that reading and writing is something he wants to achieve so he is doing what is necessary. I forget who said but some men DO NOT care to ever learn and they are ok with that. Is it that they "think" learning to read and write will get them no further than where they r right now ?

i agree with that....and i think there is more too it as well...i know for mike he was ashamed that he could not read or write that well....and there for did NOT want to get help because he felt like he was the only person in the US with this issue....i explained time and time again he is so not the only person with this issue....still he didn't want to believe me and got a ok job...stocking shelves which is fine...happy for him to have that job....BUT he doesn't want to look for a better job or a second job because that would mean more paperwork....

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

************

MY COUSIN'S EX SHOWED UP FOR his INTERVIEW (poor thing) ........(I'm rolling on the floor)

Now, he's really THREATENING TO burn down the house in Jamaica.

Woieeeeeeeeee what a stress.

I'll fill ya'll in later.

[Marlita 0]

1luv...This is real life..no poking fun here

Ur hubby knows that reading and writing is something he wants to achieve so he is doing what is necessary. I forget who said but some men DO NOT care to ever learn and they are ok with that. Is it that they "think" learning to read and write will get them no further than where they r right now ?

i agree with that....and i think there is more too it as well...i know for mike he was ashamed that he could not read or write that well....and there for did NOT want to get help because he felt like he was the only person in the US with this issue....i explained time and time again he is so not the only person with this issue....still he didn't want to believe me and got a ok job...stocking shelves which is fine...happy for him to have that job....BUT he doesn't want to look for a better job or a second job because that would mean more paperwork....

This is where it gets to be a problem for me. He's holding himself back cause his mind is not free....not because someone tells him he can't do it.

[nannygirl82 0]

************

MY COUSIN'S EX SHOWED UP FOR his INTERVIEW (poor thing) ........(I'm rolling on the floor)

Now, he's really THREATENING TO burn down the house in Jamaica.

Woieeeeeeeeee what a stress.

I'll fill ya'll in later.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!