Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hey, Kimmy......

Did Gill say if she saw or heard from any of the others with interviews today?

What about what is happening with Ken's child?

no, she didn't she'll call later...

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Well here is my contribution for discussion for the day. Alittle background before. I was married to a Ja man who filed a fiance visa for me waaay back in the 80's. We were married for 13 years and had two children with him. Then he punched in in the face and I left him. He is a CPA with a good job with the NYC hospitals system and very intelligent. He is so into politics and he ran for NYC councilman last year but lost. He thinks he is all that. LOL While we were married, I used to work as the assistant to the president of a woman's org. I always wanted to be a nurse so I went to nursing school and worked part-time. We had previous discussion about me not working , because I was required to be in school fultime to complete my clinicals. He was not as supportive as he promised to be. I kinda figured him out and that's why I decided to struggle and have a job while going to nursing school fulltime. I was very successful in completing school and getting my nursing license. I started as a psychiatric nurse and whenever I wanted to work overtime to make some extra money, it became an issue of my acting like I was a single woman and a lot of other complaints. The marriage deteriorated from there.

When I left him, he vowed to destroy me saying "I made you and I will break you." We had a terrible divorce which I sheltered my kids from. I got full exclusive custody of my children and signed over our house to him (that's what he wanted). After that I was able to buy my first home and had a very successsful job. My relationships with men have not been the same, couldn't trust them. I found that I always levitated to non-professional men. The last relationship I was in was with a barber. He tole me one day, I heard you are seeing a barber. Why don't you find a man who is a professional like you and meets up to your standards?" My reply was "He is a professional barber and what does his career have to do with our relationship? As long as he treats me with respect and love me the way I deserve to be loved, Why does it matter what he does for a living? The convo ended right there.

Last week he called me again, not to talk about my kids but to inquire about my personal life. I used to always shut him down, but decided to go along with the conversation. I told him that I was not in a relationship at the moment and he went ahead to say why can't I find a professional partner who meets my standards? You are a smart intelligent and beautiful woman and you should not settle for less.

Saying all that to get to my question. I hope you all are not saying "get to the question already"

How do you all feel about that statement? Do you guys think that you should try to get with a man that meets you on that professional or educational level? Or is it more important to be with a man who loves you and treats you with respect? My thoughts on this are that as long as you are both compatable and you both love and respect each other, what he does for a living should not matter. Love has no boundaries. If you go out there looking for only that "professional" are you sure he will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I feel that some of these professoinals are so into themselves and their profession that they might not give you what you deserve.

Opinions?

First off congrats to Gill! i thought about you on my train ride into work today. I knew it'd be a piece ah cyake.

Well my thoughts on the topic of the day are that I think its all up tp the individual with what your partner does for a living. i for one go more for the professional man vs not. I am a professional woman who has done ALOT and been to many places, and am ALWAYS looking to do more. That being said, i just happen to attract professional men....I attract the non-profs too, but after awhile I realize that we may not have much in common. My ambitions and dreams for my life (which are not apart of the norm) are usually over their heads so eventually I feel like either he is holding me back and I feel stifled...and I HATE THAT. So if you are a non-prof guy you have to just have a free mind and grand outlook on life. I cannot be with a man that limits himself and what he can do just because his mind is not free. As far as how he treats me....well everyman i've dated has treated me well so there's no issues there...daddy nah raise nuh fool fool gyal.

Is that b/c of lack of education..?

There is difference btwn un-educated man who does not want a suit an tie job b/c he is afraid to talk to ppl and stuff like that.. compared to his educated not wanting a suit and tie job kind a man..if u can't read and write that's a whole nother story...not everyone is made up to be the same thing..someone has to wash the floors and the day we start thinking we are "better" than that man is the day we need to take a look at how shallow we are...

[*JG* 2]

Well here is my contribution for discussion for the day. Alittle background before. I was married to a Ja man who filed a fiance visa for me waaay back in the 80's. We were married for 13 years and had two children with him. Then he punched in in the face and I left him. He is a CPA with a good job with the NYC hospitals system and very intelligent. He is so into politics and he ran for NYC councilman last year but lost. He thinks he is all that. LOL While we were married, I used to work as the assistant to the president of a woman's org. I always wanted to be a nurse so I went to nursing school and worked part-time. We had previous discussion about me not working , because I was required to be in school fultime to complete my clinicals. He was not as supportive as he promised to be. I kinda figured him out and that's why I decided to struggle and have a job while going to nursing school fulltime. I was very successful in completing school and getting my nursing license. I started as a psychiatric nurse and whenever I wanted to work overtime to make some extra money, it became an issue of my acting like I was a single woman and a lot of other complaints. The marriage deteriorated from there.

When I left him, he vowed to destroy me saying "I made you and I will break you." We had a terrible divorce which I sheltered my kids from. I got full exclusive custody of my children and signed over our house to him (that's what he wanted). After that I was able to buy my first home and had a very successsful job. My relationships with men have not been the same, couldn't trust them. I found that I always levitated to non-professional men. The last relationship I was in was with a barber. He tole me one day, I heard you are seeing a barber. Why don't you find a man who is a professional like you and meets up to your standards?" My reply was "He is a professional barber and what does his career have to do with our relationship? As long as he treats me with respect and love me the way I deserve to be loved, Why does it matter what he does for a living? The convo ended right there.

Last week he called me again, not to talk about my kids but to inquire about my personal life. I used to always shut him down, but decided to go along with the conversation. I told him that I was not in a relationship at the moment and he went ahead to say why can't I find a professional partner who meets my standards? You are a smart intelligent and beautiful woman and you should not settle for less.

Saying all that to get to my question. I hope you all are not saying "get to the question already"

How do you all feel about that statement? Do you guys think that you should try to get with a man that meets you on that professional or educational level? Or is it more important to be with a man who loves you and treats you with respect? My thoughts on this are that as long as you are both compatable and you both love and respect each other, what he does for a living should not matter. Love has no boundaries. If you go out there looking for only that "professional" are you sure he will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I feel that some of these professoinals are so into themselves and their profession that they might not give you what you deserve.

Opinions?

First off congrats to Gill! i thought about you on my train ride into work today. I knew it'd be a piece ah cyake.

Well my thoughts on the topic of the day are that I think its all up tp the individual with what your partner does for a living. i for one go more for the professional man vs not. I am a professional woman who has done ALOT and been to many places, and am ALWAYS looking to do more. That being said, i just happen to attract professional men....I attract the non-profs too, but after awhile I realize that we may not have much in common. My ambitions and dreams for my life (which are not apart of the norm) are usually over their heads so eventually I feel like either he is holding me back and I feel stifled...and I HATE THAT. So if you are a non-prof guy you have to just have a free mind and grand outlook on life. I cannot be with a man that limits himself and what he can do just because his mind is not free. As far as how he treats me....well everyman i've dated has treated me well so there's no issues there...daddy nah raise nuh fool fool gyal.

Is that b/c of lack of education..?

There is difference btwn un-educated man who does not want a suit an tie job b/c he is afraid to talk to ppl and stuff like that.. compared to his educated not wanting a suit and tie job kind a man..if u can't read and write that's a whole nother story...not everyone is made up to be the same thing..someone has to wash the floors and the day we start thinking we are "better" than that man is the day we need to take a look at how shallow we are...

Keep talking, Kimmy.....I think I may just agree with you all day!

Again, very nicely put.

[Yaads 0]

First off congrats to Gill! i thought about you on my train ride into work today. I knew it'd be a piece ah cyake.

Well my thoughts on the topic of the day are that I think its all up tp the individual with what your partner does for a living. i for one go more for the professional man vs not. I am a professional woman who has done ALOT and been to many places, and am ALWAYS looking to do more. That being said, i just happen to attract professional men....I attract the non-profs too, but after awhile I realize that we may not have much in common. My ambitions and dreams for my life (which are not apart of the norm) are usually over their heads so eventually I feel like either he is holding me back and I feel stifled...and I HATE THAT. So if you are a non-prof guy you have to just have a free mind and grand outlook on life. I cannot be with a man that limits himself and what he can do just because his mind is not free. As far as how he treats me....well everyman i've dated has treated me well so there's no issues there...daddy nah raise nuh fool fool gyal.

Is that b/c of lack of education..?

There is difference btwn un-educated man who does not want a suit an tie job b/c he is afraid to talk to ppl and stuff like that.. compared to his educated not wanting a suit and tie job kind a man..if u can't read and write that's a whole nother story...not everyone is made up to be the same thing..someone has to wash the floors and the day we start thinking we are "better" than that man is the day we need to take a look at how shallow we are...

Thank you very much

[SupportOAFJF 0]

It's just a subject i hate b/c ppl judge my relationship all the time..they assume that my husband has no idea b/c i'm the college grad and doing somthing for herself kinda gal and "should" be with a man that is choking himself with a tie just b/c of that..so basicly they're saying i'm "better" than my husband...so u never know what's the meaning of the book until u read it...unless u "judge" by reading from the back I find ppl that force each other into these so called professional lives end up being miserable when they grow old if they get there..

OK JG ..dats it mi come off di soap box b4 mi slip

[Marlita 0]

First off congrats to Gill! i thought about you on my train ride into work today. I knew it'd be a piece ah cyake.

Well my thoughts on the topic of the day are that I think its all up tp the individual with what your partner does for a living. i for one go more for the professional man vs not. I am a professional woman who has done ALOT and been to many places, and am ALWAYS looking to do more. That being said, i just happen to attract professional men....I attract the non-profs too, but after awhile I realize that we may not have much in common. My ambitions and dreams for my life (which are not apart of the norm) are usually over their heads so eventually I feel like either he is holding me back and I feel stifled...and I HATE THAT. So if you are a non-prof guy you have to just have a free mind and grand outlook on life. I cannot be with a man that limits himself and what he can do just because his mind is not free. As far as how he treats me....well everyman i've dated has treated me well so there's no issues there...daddy nah raise nuh fool fool gyal.

Is that b/c of lack of education..?

There is difference btwn un-educated man who does not want a suit an tie job b/c he is afraid to talk to ppl and stuff like that.. compared to his educated not wanting a suit and tie job kind a man..if u can't read and write that's a whole nother story...not everyone is made up to be the same thing..someone has to wash the floors and the day we start thinking we are "better" than that man is the day we need to take a look at how shallow we are...

Thats very true, and i dont beileve you have to have a suit and tie job to be educated. I think you need to have ambition to be with me....what ever you do with your life as a job is another story. I can be with a guy who washes the floors, but I cant be with a guy who doesnt have a plan of how to not wash the floors.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

KIMMY.......how much weight u gain areadi

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

KIMMY.......how much weight u gain areadi

haven't been on a scale since i started feeling better..at this point i'm gaining back what i lost..not a whole lot but i'm sure something...i'm trying

So..my doc told me about some progesterone shots that he will be giving me so that we can try and prevent this one from coming 5wks early....

[*JG* 2]

As far as jobs go, I have learned that money just doesn't buy you happiness and jobs are fleeting.

I believe in taking the best your situation has to offer you and working with it to make the life you want along the way. Learning and advancing are big pluses. You never really know where your next opportunity is going to come from.

As long as my husband works hard at the job he has and learns everything he can from it, he will be going far.

And as long as we mesh in our married life, he could be picking up poop after the Clydesdales (Anheuser Busch horses, for those of you not in the St. Louis area) in parades and as long as he is working hard and earning money to help us out, I'm happy.

Edited March 11, 2008 by Jomo's girl

[Marlita 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

Exactly, I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but knowing myself and the things I want to do in life...that have nothing to do with a career....I need someone who has the same goals otherwise we as a couple will be so out of balance and will probably never get there. I believe in being compatilbe on many levels....religion, ambitions, dreams, this compatiblity will help us grow together, and not grow apart.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

As far as jobs go, I have learned that money just doesn't buy you happiness and jobs are fleeting.

I believe in taking the best your situation has to offer you and working with it to make the life you want along the way. Learning and advancing are big pluses.

As long as my husband works hard at the job he has and learns everything he can from it, he will be going far.

And as long as we mesh in our married life, he could be picking up poop after the Clydesdales (Anheuser Busch horses, for those of you not in the St. Louis area) in parades and as long as he is working hard and earning money to help us out, I'm happy.

and that's what i love about my husband..he is willing to do a job because it will PROVIDE for us

[Marlita 0]

As far as jobs go, I have learned that money just doesn't buy you happiness and jobs are fleeting.

I believe in taking the best your situation has to offer you and working with it to make the life you want along the way. Learning and advancing are big pluses. You never really know where your next opportunity is going to come from.

As long as my husband works hard at the job he has and learns everything he can from it, he will be going far.

And as long as we mesh in our married life, he could be picking up poop after the Clydesdales (Anheuser Busch horses, for those of you not in the St. Louis area) in parades and as long as he is working hard and earning money to help us out, I'm happy.

You're funny.

[Yaads 0]

double post

Edited March 11, 2008 by Yardiewife

[Yaads 0]

I get u Lita..and I agree.."when am i going to watch the next man wash the floors"

Exactly, I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but knowing myself and the things I want to do in life...that have nothing to do with a career....I need someone who has the same goals otherwise we as a couple will be so out of balance and will probably never get there. I believe in being compatilbe on many levels....religion, ambitions, dreams, this compatiblity will help us grow together, and not grow apart.

But what if your man is content and happy "washing the floors" or any other "menial" type job? What if that is his passion in life and he doesn't see it as a starting point but somewhere that he is happy and comfortable with as his job in life? Would you be ok with that?