Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[JaHoney 3]

Honey; I'd have to agree with Jawi on the trust. Marcel would go out with his friends and be out until 6 or later. They usually leave the club and go to a street dance. I NEVER had any issues with it and he never and still does not have any issues with me hanghing with my girls. In November while we were at Pier One this girl from England tried to push her big behind on him...he'd move and she'd move. His friends and I were watching and cracking up, so you know what I had to do...walk over there and show her who had the biggest BAXIDE. We didn't see her for the rest of the night. He says women alway try him... Like my husband say, you have to know what you want when you start a relationship. For someone as young as he is, the things that come out of his mouth just make me say wow...this is why I love this man. He has values when it comes to love, life, family and friends and that's why I love him so much. He also reminds me of my father. My dad didn't have much growing up, but managed to make it on his own and did very well. My father said if he had to walk from one end of othe world to the other end to make sure his family was saf, healthy and happy...he would do it.

Jawi -- you not joking about the men in ATL...OMG...girl don't get me started. If my cell phone was able to take pictures or record videos back in the day. I've also learned that I'm not going to just settle for the best in a man...I want a make who can not only rock my world, but give me something to appreciate at the end of the day.

Women will always say that we won't let a man stress us...that we will not put up with it...and we don't have a problem walking away. Then, we discuss it with our man...draw our lines in the sand...I will not tolerate "this...ray tay tay". Well, our man forgets the line in the sand...or he doesn't care because he is going to do what he wants to do anyway. What do we do? Argue...cry...nag...then draw another "shaky" line in the sand a little further away from the first.

That being said...Honeychild, I'm not picking on you...you are just convenient because your discontent is more recent (love you babes). Have a real conversation with D...no jokes...no trying to soften the blow or prove that you are "a cool and understanding girlfriend". Let him know what are breaking points for you...what will make you uncomfortable trusting him. Only you know what you can and can't tolerate. You guys need to discuss what happens when he violates that trust. You can still be the mad cool girlfriend/fiancee, and stand your ground on agreed upon boundaries. If you don't want him to come in at 4 in the morning...tell him just that.

Unfortunately, you can't do that by "joking through the issues"...I don't you are really resolving them because then you post here afterwards that you are still pissed...PMS'ng...etc.

A once told me (actually a lot of guy friends have) that I think like a man about relationships. Well, A and I had the discussion about infidelity. He tried that mess about men being men and getting weak...and sometimes thinking they "need to explore new territory". I said very calmly "I totally understand human nature...being attracted to someone outside of the relationship. However, if you decide to explore new territory or old trodden down past territory in this relationship...remember I approach relationships JUST like a man." Nuff said.

Jomo and I had a discussion a while back about this topic. Any type of infidelity is a breaking point for her. For me...it may be/ it may not...depends entirely on the situation. I have never been one of those women that got jealous over a man going out with his friends...or needing constant communication all day to assure me that I could trust him. I approach relationships with men and women the same...I will trust you completely until you show me otherwise that you can't be trusted. Yeah...I've been hurt and disappointed a lot this way...but it's just my nature. Now, it doesn't make me a fool or gullible...because I'm not going to be a fool for anyone. I will call a spade a spade all day everyday. Many have found themselves coming up short by taking my kindness for weakness.

What the hell am I talking about? Geez...rambling.

once again.. i know this is a moot issue by now, but I mus give my 2 cents HA

If u are in anyway vexed by the 4am issue and he is not willing to budge, then u should def THINK..

I spent 7 yrs wanting certain things outta my man and not getting them and just accepting it. Lieing to myself everyday that it "wasn't that big of a deal" that he was such a good man in other areas that I should learn to get along. That ish ate away at me and I had to come to a realization, there is compromise and there is totally killing oneself to make the relationship work.

Its nothing wrong with having expectations and ideals. Believe me, I am not a hypocrite either. It goes both ways. I tell any man that I do stay out late when I go out, I am not a good cook but I will try (sometimes) and I am as absent minded as heck at times, so if u can't handle it, dont fool urself into thinking that u can just cuz u are in love w/ me, it will only hurt us both in the end.

Oh we discussed it Quana, he is willing budge, i dont have a prob with him going out, he does it quite a bit, it was just the 4 am thing vex, me, i said my peace. to him.. it will be worked out in a compromise. Dont ask of me what you are unwilling to do yourself, he understands.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

or new topic...

Okay, so as you guys im a social worker, and have been for some years now... i love my job( sometimes) and i feel like I make a difference in peoples lives...Mrs.P arent you a social worker as well??? ... but anyhoo, my job is never going to make me rich, and i will forever be under a microscope with the county, in regards to treatment outcomes, blah blah blah. My question, is i have seriously been considering returning to school to obtain a degree in a whole different field, im thinking something in the healthcare field, like an x ray tech or a therapeutic masseuse or something not requiring the viewing of body fluids. I am torn between going for a master's in social work, as right now im only a LBSW, with the hopes that with a masters i can find another job in the same field making more money, or trying something new???

What do you guys think, im just looking for opinions, im not really certain what i want to do, so i thought i would throw it out to my VJ sistren and see how they would weigh it??

Honey;

Talk to Nish (tnw)...I'm taking donations to get her tracking device. She's hard to keep up with she's super busy woman.

[dancehallquana 5]

Back when i was young and a tad more stupid, i put up with alot of #######, when my ex cheated and had a child outside of the relationship as a result, I WAS DONE, and i never looked back, did i want to look back, yeah at times, he was all i knew, i thought I NEEDED HIM, was i hurt to hell, YES, did he beg and plead,...YES,... but did i go back...NO... and i feel that was the best decision i ever made for myself as women. He is deceased now, and i still have to interact with this child on a daily basis, as she is my boys sister and his mother makes sure that they have a relationship with her.

Trust me, Jawi i dont feel picked on, i know that many women are led by emotions, and other things, me being one of them, but i feel like i have experienced more ####### than normal in my short 36 years, i have been a victim of domestic violence, cheated on, lied to, had a child outside of the relationship thrust into my life, the ####### is endless, at the time i felt like i was in HEll, but i think it has made me stronger and who i am today. That being said, i do love D, i didnt go looking for him, wasnt interested in talking to him and dyam sho not looking to get into a LDR, but it happened and here i am, all i can do is let go and let god.

YOU GO HONEY!!!

We been tru alot, but we be di Royal Women dat Riley sing bout, tru love is chasing us down mi gyal!!!!!

[*JG* 2]

or new topic...

Okay, so as you guys im a social worker, and have been for some years now... i love my job( sometimes) and i feel like I make a difference in peoples lives...Mrs.P arent you a social worker as well??? ... but anyhoo, my job is never going to make me rich, and i will forever be under a microscope with the county, in regards to treatment outcomes, blah blah blah. My question, is i have seriously been considering returning to school to obtain a degree in a whole different field, im thinking something in the healthcare field, like an x ray tech or a therapeutic masseuse or something not requiring the viewing of body fluids. I am torn between going for a master's in social work, as right now im only a LBSW, with the hopes that with a masters i can find another job in the same field making more money, or trying something new???

What do you guys think, im just looking for opinions, im not really certain what i want to do, so i thought i would throw it out to my VJ sistren and see how they would weigh it??

Does your job make you happy?

Are you financially able to go back to school and completely change fields at this point?

I want to caution you on the change of fields at this point too. When in a LDR, things are different.....some days you feel you have no control over your emotions, your life, nothing. Will adding another issue....ie, the stress of school.....to this situation be something you can handle?

I know there have been days when I wake up and I have this idea in my head of something I am certain I want to do. Sometimes it's something really out there. I have learned to sit back and access the situation more....weigh out pros and cons....think it over for a few more days. If it's still there, then, I go for it if I can. If I talk myself out of it, I know it is for the best. Sometimes, I think it was an idea that I COULD do this, I could control something when everything else in my life was spinning out of control.

[Sonshyne 2]

dang you guys are all writing books this morning, ugh and i'm so trying to keep up but it seems like i always got to run out...

mrs scott - mr jengs said he soon go and tell everyone to kiss dem bloodclaat...it seem to be always something, and some of dem nuh realize they would be far better off if they kept their mouth shut, cause he'll say this week I'm going to send so and so money on friday and by weds they calling with a story...it's not like his kids are starving and he send dem money on a regular...the best was last week when somebody wanted $40.00 U.S for cab fare....

I'm with you Jengles. I can't seem to catch up either. lol

Mawn Fam!!

Whew I've been trying to catch up for 2 days, I finally made it!!

Let's see...

Wakey Congrats to you and Dwayne

Lawny your wedding photos are beautiful!

Kimmy I glad you got a chance to meet some of the Yardie Fam, thanks for sharing the pictures.

Island and Dillion congrats on the e-mails!! Next step interviews

Lita welcome back!

Sjb safe travels to you and your Hubby

JG HAPPY BELATED B-DAY!!

JaEng congrats on the new job!!

Sus my prayers to you for a speedy recovery

Mrs Plamer... Machanical man and fresh batteries??

Gill tell yuh friend dem yuh haffi nuh time for foo foo bizness, yuh do deh wuk fe har tuh drop deh ball?? Dem on they own nuh

Honey yuh nuh deh yaardie dem party all nite lang. Nuh worry yuh self everyting cris

Clarien good fe see yuh!!

((((JAWI)))) weh yuh stay weh suh lang?? Welcome back!

Ok hopefully I didn't leave anyone out. If I did (((HUGS))) to you too!

[*JG* 2]

Wow, Sonny.....reading it every day, I never realized that much happened till you said it.

Good to see you.

[*SunRay* 1]

Welcome To The USA Dwane...

All the best to you and Wakey.... Your one lucky man and not because your in America, but because you have a great woman on your side.

[Islandwoman 0]

or new topic...

Okay, so as you guys im a social worker, and have been for some years now... i love my job( sometimes) and i feel like I make a difference in peoples lives...Mrs.P arent you a social worker as well??? ... but anyhoo, my job is never going to make me rich, and i will forever be under a microscope with the county, in regards to treatment outcomes, blah blah blah. My question, is i have seriously been considering returning to school to obtain a degree in a whole different field, im thinking something in the healthcare field, like an x ray tech or a therapeutic masseuse or something not requiring the viewing of body fluids. I am torn between going for a master's in social work, as right now im only a LBSW, with the hopes that with a masters i can find another job in the same field making more money, or trying something new???

What do you guys think, im just looking for opinions, im not really certain what i want to do, so i thought i would throw it out to my VJ sistren and see how they would weigh it??

Does your job make you happy?

Are you financially able to go back to school and completely change fields at this point?

I want to caution you on the change of fields at this point too. When in a LDR, things are different.....some days you feel you have no control over your emotions, your life, nothing. Will adding another issue....ie, the stress of school.....to this situation be something you can handle?

I know there have been days when I wake up and I have this idea in my head of something I am certain I want to do. Sometimes it's something really out there. I have learned to sit back and access the situation more....weigh out pros and cons....think it over for a few more days. If it's still there, then, I go for it if I can. If I talk myself out of it, I know it is for the best. Sometimes, I think it was an idea that I COULD do this, I could control something when everything else in my life was spinning out of control.

I like to think about major things for a whole damn month - that way I know it wasn't something that just hit me on a hormonal rush!!

[*JG* 2]

You do that too, Island.....think I HAVE to do this. Later, after thinking it out, you say, what the hell was I thinking?

[Islandwoman 0]

Welcome To The USA Dwane...

All the best to you and Wakey.... Your one lucky man and not because your in America, but because you have a great woman on your side.

And one crazy rass sister-in-law!

[*SunRay* 1]

Wow, Sonny.....reading it every day, I never realized that much happened till you said it.

Good to see you.

That would have taken me about a week to read. lol

Good to see you Sonny.....

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Are ya'll ready for this. My SO's uncle just called from Atlanta and wants to have a family meeting with me (not hubby), but with me. I told him sure, I'll try and clear my calendar sometime next year. He's like are you serious, you're that busy. I was like, what do you want to meet with me for? Answer: I want to know what your intentions are with our nephew. He's young and you're much, much older...we're just looking out for his best interest. I just called home and Marcel is on the phone with him now. All I'm hearing is a lot of bclattt...I know the Aunt put the uncle up to this. I'm going to calm down my husband. Back later.

Sunny; I'll call you back.

[*SunRay* 1]

Welcome To The USA Dwane...

All the best to you and Wakey.... Your one lucky man and not because your in America, but because you have a great woman on your side.

And one crazy rass sister-in-law!

Oh yeah, How could I leave out Jawi. She's a sweetie. Now Jawi and Dwane can go out to the clubs together and put their gun fingers up..... Well then again that may not be a good idea. The police are crazy these days and would probably think it's a real gun.

Edited July 31, 2008 by sunnyja21

[Islandwoman 0]

You do that too, Island.....think I HAVE to do this. Later, after thinking it out, you say, what the hell was I thinking?

Oh yes! Last week I was chatting with my best friend at a certain hormonal-fertile time of the month and I told her I think about being a surrogate mother - carrying a baby for someone who can't. She looked at me like I have 5 heads, all a different color.

[JaHoney 3]

or new topic...

Okay, so as you guys im a social worker, and have been for some years now... i love my job( sometimes) and i feel like I make a difference in peoples lives...Mrs.P arent you a social worker as well??? ... but anyhoo, my job is never going to make me rich, and i will forever be under a microscope with the county, in regards to treatment outcomes, blah blah blah. My question, is i have seriously been considering returning to school to obtain a degree in a whole different field, im thinking something in the healthcare field, like an x ray tech or a therapeutic masseuse or something not requiring the viewing of body fluids. I am torn between going for a master's in social work, as right now im only a LBSW, with the hopes that with a masters i can find another job in the same field making more money, or trying something new???

What do you guys think, im just looking for opinions, im not really certain what i want to do, so i thought i would throw it out to my VJ sistren and see how they would weigh it??

Does your job make you happy?

Are you financially able to go back to school and completely change fields at this point?

I want to caution you on the change of fields at this point too. When in a LDR, things are different.....some days you feel you have no control over your emotions, your life, nothing. Will adding another issue....ie, the stress of school.....to this situation be something you can handle?

I know there have been days when I wake up and I have this idea in my head of something I am certain I want to do. Sometimes it's something really out there. I have learned to sit back and access the situation more....weigh out pros and cons....think it over for a few more days. If it's still there, then, I go for it if I can. If I talk myself out of it, I know it is for the best. Sometimes, I think it was an idea that I COULD do this, I could control something when everything else in my life was spinning out of control.

JG, I enjoy my job primarily because when i was younger i was very selfish, i wasnt your very emotionally attached kind of person. I was all about self, for a number of reasons, i think it was a way that i built up in myself to keep people out and not hurt me. The people i work with, are so F-ed up it makes my heart hurt for them.....NEVER in a million years could i have seen myself working with this population... i initially went to school with the intention of becoming a lawyer and throwing offenders underneath the jail, unfortunately life stepped in and i didnt go to law school, but i still worked in the CJ field, as an advocate. Somehow someway i merged into social work, and havent looked back. My job doesnt offer tuition reimbursement so financially it would be more STUDENT loans, which my kids will probably be paying back...lol at the rate im going. I tend to be impulsive about things, but for some reason im not feeling fulfilled in my job, despite the fact that i enjoy it. For the amount of sacrifice that i put in, to ensure my clients have a good quality of life and are not being mistreated, the financial gain is nothing to write home about. My wanting a career change is primarily financial. Working for the county, means if the county suffers budget cuts, the employees arent getting cost of living increases or wage increases or whatever, as it is i commute 75-80 miles round trip everyday and with gas prices, im thinking either career change to increase earnings or second job. also with the visa process i have to stop and think constantly, dyam... and how it effects everything im doing. Sorry for the mini series and the rambling, just need to clear my head