Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[brownnskinn 0]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

I'm just not willing to say what I would or would not do. Cause SHYT HAPPENS. and I just wouldn't know till it happens.

[Yaads 0]

I think flirting with another woman in front of me is DISRESPECTFUL...I would never do that and I'm sure my man wouldn't like it.

Years ago I was dating this guy and we went out to eat. I noticed from we sat down that this woman kept flirting with my date and we kept talking about it. So, I told him I'm going to get up and go to the restroom. The woman's date went outside to make a call and the woman walked by and handed her business card to my date. She also wrote on the back of the card (call me after 11pm he'll be at work. When I got back to the table my date gave me the card and YES, I got up walked over to her table and handed it to her date (which was her husband) and told him to read what's on the back. Was I wrong to do that?

I don't think we all flirt. I think to flirt while your SO is or isn't around is completely disrespectful.

I would have done the same thing Lawny. I don't think it was wrong at all...the woman asked for it IMO.

[Marlita 0]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

Yes, one of us would have to go. There are not "what ifs" in this one for me. If he cheats....at any point during our relationship.....and I find out about it, it's over. I believe in this issue with everything I have. There is no gray area here. I make it very clear from the beginning of a serious relationship. If you want me, you can have only me. If you want others, then move along.

No other scenario would make a difference. I am not dependent on any man. I need my husband in many different ways but to say I am solely dependent on anyone but myself is absolutely ridiculous. I am a strong woman completely capable of taking care of myself. My husband does not complete me, nor vice versa. We compliment each other.

WOW! Well I don't think anyone questions your "independecy" JG. You make it quite clear that you can take care of yourself. However, I don't think that has anything to do with a partner that cheated a year ago.

[*JG* 2]

That was over the top, Tre. I think I would do the same thing you did in that situation.

I don't think it is disrespectful if done with class and not so in your face. Andre always tells me I flirt with both men and women at restaurants and by my comments and smile end up with a better table and better service.

[brownnskinn 0]

I would have done the same thing Lawny. I don't think it was wrong at all...the woman asked for it IMO.

Sure she did, for cryin out loud!

[Jengles 0]

all i did was go to lunch and you all chat up two more pages,

[*JG* 2]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

Yes, one of us would have to go. There are not "what ifs" in this one for me. If he cheats....at any point during our relationship.....and I find out about it, it's over. I believe in this issue with everything I have. There is no gray area here. I make it very clear from the beginning of a serious relationship. If you want me, you can have only me. If you want others, then move along.

No other scenario would make a difference. I am not dependent on any man. I need my husband in many different ways but to say I am solely dependent on anyone but myself is absolutely ridiculous. I am a strong woman completely capable of taking care of myself. My husband does not complete me, nor vice versa. We compliment each other.

WOW! Well I don't think anyone questions your "independecy" JG. You make it quite clear that you can take care of yourself. However, I don't think that has anything to do with a partner that cheated a year ago.

Of course it does. If I set ground rules that say I am unbendable on this subject, why would any time period or dependents make a difference?

all i did was go to lunch and you all chat up two more pages,

uhhummm (clears throat) and who started it?

Edited March 5, 2008 by Jomo's girl

[Marlita 0]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I thinkin it can be both ways. I think flirting can be strictly physical. Heck I flirt. But when you to get to confiding in another man or woman that's different, you look foward to your interactions with the other person, they start to make you feel good( need being met) They are forfilling a neet not being met by the husband or wife or not realizing their need can only be met by the MAN ABOVE. They are headed for trouble.

Come on now, we ALL flirt. I wouldn't think my man to be human if he didnt. its when you take it to another level. i can flirt in front of my man and he knows its just playful Marlita doing her thing.

I think flirting with another woman in front of me is DISRESPECTFUL...I would never do that and I'm sure my man wouldn't like it.

Years ago I was dating this guy and we went out to eat. I noticed from we sat down that this woman kept flirting with my date and we kept talking about it. So, I told him I'm going to get up and go to the restroom. The woman's date went outside to make a call and the woman walked by and handed her business card to my date. She also wrote on the back of the card (call me after 11pm he'll be at work. When I got back to the table my date gave me the card and YES, I got up walked over to her table and handed it to her date (which was her husband) and told him to read what's on the back. Was I wrong to do that?

haha, Lawny thats too funny. Ok when I say I flirt, it is ALWAYS in a joking way. Thats why I can do it in fron of hubby. If it was some serious flirting, then I would feel uncomfortable doing it and it would be disrespectful. i do it in a joking "dumb blonde" kinda way (no offense to the blondes)

[brownnskinn 0]

all i did was go to lunch and you all chat up two more pages,

Look what you started .. and you mean you went to lunch

[Marlita 0]

That was over the top, Tre. I think I would do the same thing you did in that situation.

I don't think it is disrespectful if done with class and not so in your face. Andre always tells me I flirt with both men and women at restaurants and by my comments and smile end up with a better table and better service.

haha, I flirt with women too! I guess thats why I say its really just playful and not sexual at all.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

Yes, one of us would have to go. There are not "what ifs" in this one for me. If he cheats....at any point during our relationship.....and I find out about it, it's over. I believe in this issue with everything I have. There is no gray area here. I make it very clear from the beginning of a serious relationship. If you want me, you can have only me. If you want others, then move along.

No other scenario would make a difference. I am not dependent on any man. I need my husband in many different ways but to say I am solely dependent on anyone but myself is absolutely ridiculous. I am a strong woman completely capable of taking care of myself. My husband does not complete me, nor vice versa. We compliment each other.

WOW! Well I don't think anyone questions your "independecy" JG. You make it quite clear that you can take care of yourself. However, I don't think that has anything to do with a partner that cheated a year ago.

Of course it does. If I set ground rules that say I am unbendable on this subject, why would any time period or dependents make a difference?

all i did was go to lunch and you all chat up two more pages,

uhhummm (clears throat) and who started it?

DWLLLLLLL

[Yaads 0]

That was over the top, Tre. I think I would do the same thing you did in that situation.

I don't think it is disrespectful if done with class and not so in your face. Andre always tells me I flirt with both men and women at restaurants and by my comments and smile end up with a better table and better service.

haha, I flirt with women too! I guess thats why I say its really just playful and not sexual at all.

Ok that is good that we clarified. When I think of flirty I think of sexual and teasing and inappropriate if you are in a committed relationship. I get what you mean though...just wouldn't put the term flirty to it...more overly nice, super friendly etc.

[Jengles 0]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

I'm just not willing to say what I would or would not do. Cause SHYT HAPPENS. and I just wouldn't know till it happens.

agreed, and for some women they need to get to the point where they are no longer emotionally attached to where they can leave, that can take some time

[Jengles 0]

The thing I am trying to say is there is no going back. If a man cheats on me, he better be willing to move forward. I have never, nor will I ever take a cheater back. It is my one rule I have never, nor will I ever go back on.

So, no, the answer is that it is not hard to stick to a rule you make if you really believe in that rule.

In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there are always grey areas to compromise on. However, I believe cheating breaks ALL the rules. I never compromise on this issue.

Just to play devils advocate here....what if you found out your partner cheated say, a year ago? You just find out, would you leave him now, or forgive what he did a year ago? Also, what if this same situation had children involved, meaning you have a young child between the 2 of you?

Yes, one of us would have to go. There are not "what ifs" in this one for me. If he cheats....at any point during our relationship.....and I find out about it, it's over. I believe in this issue with everything I have. There is no gray area here. I make it very clear from the beginning of a serious relationship. If you want me, you can have only me. If you want others, then move along.

No other scenario would make a difference. I am not dependent on any man. I need my husband in many different ways but to say I am solely dependent on anyone but myself is absolutely ridiculous. I am a strong woman completely capable of taking care of myself. My husband does not complete me, nor vice versa. We compliment each other.

WOW! Well I don't think anyone questions your "independecy" JG. You make it quite clear that you can take care of yourself. However, I don't think that has anything to do with a partner that cheated a year ago.

Of course it does. If I set ground rules that say I am unbendable on this subject, why would any time period or dependents make a difference?

all i did was go to lunch and you all chat up two more pages,

uhhummm (clears throat) and who started it?

ok I see your point

[Marlita 0]

That was over the top, Tre. I think I would do the same thing you did in that situation.

I don't think it is disrespectful if done with class and not so in your face. Andre always tells me I flirt with both men and women at restaurants and by my comments and smile end up with a better table and better service.

haha, I flirt with women too! I guess thats why I say its really just playful and not sexual at all.

Ok that is good that we clarified. When I think of flirty I think of sexual and teasing and inappropriate if you are in a committed relationship. I get what you mean though...just wouldn't put the term flirty to it...more overly nice, super friendly etc.

Yeah, I think flirting has different levels, but I mean it in the sense of playfulness, not like a sexual scanvenger, haha. I think when it gets to the latter, there's a bit more than flirting expected to come out of the situation.