Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[JaHoney 3]

Claire;

What are you doing awake?

Well, I just opened my envelope and in it $1500 CASH. I don't know who contributed so, I'm not sure how to do thank you. Is it tacky to send an e-mail to the entire department (169 people). I don't know who contributed though or I would send thank you notes.

Lawny send an email to the department and then maybe just send a flower arrangement addressed to all of them since your not sure who all contributed...LOL

[clairern 0]

Ok ladies, here I am again with one of those questions that make you go "huh?" I am at work and my patients are sleeping so here goes my wondering mind again. lol

Have you ever discussed your past relationships in detail with your SO and has your SO been curious enough to get detail info about your past? I know some people go into specific detail about everything that happened in their past and to me that tends to be a little tricky.

I told my ex-husband about an incident that happened to me in high school that I never told anyone else and it was used against me in ways you cannot even imagine when I least expected it. Until this day I am in shock about what he did but life goes on and I have dealt with it.

Mike has never questioned me about my past and I tell him what I choose to and what is significant for him to know. I feel that if it does not directly affect our current relationship, it is not necessary for him to know.

Your thoughts?????

#######? I dare some man to tell me I have to throw away all my stuff cause he won't sit on it. He'd be on the floor and my furniture would stay put.

Claire, your past is what it is, the past. The past is for you to learn from not for other to critiique. I beleive my past is only to be shared if it is going to have some affect or impact on my future.

Roxcie

Hey Roxie;

I believe that too. Marcel only wanted to know about my ex (my son's father), since that will be his stepson. I told him everything he wanted to know. He's never asked about anything else. My friend told me when her fiance came up in Janaury...she had to get rid of all her old furniture, bed and coach and I was like (maybe the bed), but why the coach (he didn't want to lay his head where another man's head had been)...my hands in the air. She had to change her home and cell numbers, refused to drive in the car (after he found out it was her ex's car) given to her at the divorce settlement. To me these are petty things. The list goes on. They're now in counseling. I mean, 'ish...it's bad enough you have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster with all the immigration mess and with them adjusting. Thank God I'm blessed. So, far so, good.

Ok ladies, here I am again with one of those questions that make you go "huh?" I am at work and my patients are sleeping so here goes my wondering mind again. lol

Have you ever discussed your past relationships in detail with your SO and has your SO been curious enough to get detail info about your past? I know some people go into specific detail about everything that happened in their past and to me that tends to be a little tricky.

I told my ex-husband about an incident that happened to me in high school that I never told anyone else and it was used against me in ways you cannot even imagine when I least expected it. Until this day I am in shock about what he did but life goes on and I have dealt with it.

Mike has never questioned me about my past and I tell him what I choose to and what is significant for him to know. I feel that if it does not directly affect our current relationship, it is not necessary for him to know.

Your thoughts?????

Claire, your past is what it is, the past. The past is for you to learn from not for other to critiique. I beleive my past is only to be shared if it is going to have some affect or impact on my future.

Roxcie

Hey Roxie;

I believe that too. Marcel only wanted to know about my ex (my son's father), since that will be his stepson. I told him everything he wanted to know. He's never asked about anything else. My friend told me when her fiance came up in Janaury...she had to get rid of all her old furniture, bed and coach and I was like (maybe the bed), but why the coach (he didn't want to lay his head where another man's head had been)...my hands in the air. She had to change her home and cell numbers, refused to drive in the car (after he found out it was her ex's car) given to her at the divorce settlement. To me these are petty things. The list goes on. They're now in counseling. I mean, 'ish...it's bad enough you have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster with all the immigration mess and with them adjusting. Thank God I'm blessed. So, far so, good.

#######? I dare some man to tell me I have to throw away all my stuff cause he won't sit on it. He'd be on the floor and my furniture would stay put.

That man needs to grow up.

AMEN jg!!!!!!! that is just pure foolishness and I would not be the one replacing that stuff either so I hope he brought some extra money along w/ him for all this new stuff!!

its funny u brought this topic up claire.. RG and I had a bit of a blow up a couple of days ago.. for some reason we were talking bout past..and somehow he voiced to me his opinion about women and multiple partners. he said women are different from men and should live more virtous lives ??????????

so of course we go back and forth about how this is such double standard and he tells me about a former girlfriend and how he NEVER looked at her the same becuz she told him that she had had alot of partners. His rass asks how many (big mistake) and she told him the truth that she had had 20 by the age of 25. He said he couldn't help feeling uncomfortable being around her becuz it was always in the back of his mind. he said she would have been better off keeping that to herself.. I was hot, I was like what does that have to do w/ the way she felt about u and how dare u make her feel bad becuz of something she had courage enough to share w/ you!!

See I am learning, I've only had a REAL relationship w/ my ex and I thought it was a good thing to talk about any and everything, but as I mature I see that is not always the case. Some things are better left unsaid.

Aint that the truth. I learned my lesson the hard way.

[Sonshyne 2]

English...just time huh !!....congrats when do u start ?

Next week hopefully

Cyaa wait!

Congrats JAE!!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Thanks for the suggestions.

Island; they've been working my nerves since I left for Jamaica and when I returned it was worse. They're still getting on my nerves, right now. They don't know I'll be out for 3 days and I can hear the whispers. Oh well, thanks for all the suggestions, but the coordinator just gave me the list of who contributed (they don't want THANK YOUs) they want to see pictures. I'm grateful. Reminds of my baby shower I had 140 co-workers in attendance. I didn't have a big a thing. I started to cry, plus they had $1200 dollars left over from the funds they collected. I used that money to open a college fund for my son.

[clairern 0]

Claire;

What are you doing awake?

Well, I just opened my envelope and in it $1500 CASH. I don't know who contributed so, I'm not sure how to do thank you. Is it tacky to send an e-mail to the entire department (169 people). I don't know who contributed though or I would send thank you notes.

Girl I have a weak bladder and because I drink so much water...well need I say more? I have to get out of the bed because if I don't I will not be able to sleep tonight and I have to work in the AM.

About the thank you. I think if you get a card and address it to the entire department it would be more PC than an e-mail. It is more personal and just write a little something from your and Marcel's heart. And like someone says include a wedding pic or two.

Edited July 22, 2008 by clairern

[Sonshyne 2]

Well it is funny, when i visited this last time i took alot of bath and body works shower gels and lotions and two loofah puffy things. I took chocolate amber and cucumber melon, by the end of the week, D was using more of my shower gel than i was and he liked the loofah thingy. I was thinking about getting him some cute boxers, the cheesy kind with the lips on them, maybe...LOL, and maybe a pair of my unmentionables im not really sure, i just want it to be a surprise, which will be difficult for me, cause when it comes to him i cant hold water...LOL... i may send him something in the mail, like a cd or a card, but the mail is so slow i usually wind up telling him before it arrives...LOL

LOLOLOLOL...that happened to me too Honey...Ken is HOOKED on B&BW!!! Now it's between HEVERY 'AXE' product under the sun and B&BW! He just screamed at me from the shower the other day "Is wahappen to the Pink Grapefruit body wash?? He needed something to wake him up in there!! LOL...A mess!!!

Gill

P.S.- It's not cheesy..go for it.. but wrap it up properly in newspaper when you pack it! So...a). It doesn't open & spill in transit and B). JA postal Service don't tief deh dyam ting before hit reach em!

Find a LUSH near you and take him in there......foot, body, face, hair...shave creams.....baths.....showers.....He'll be hooked after one visit. Andre loves Mask of Magnaminty for his face. I catch him in the tub a few times a week with this face mask on. He swears it gets rid of his hair bumbs.

Neil likes to use my B&BW and anythimg else that smells "sweet" as he calls it too!! I used too fuss about it. I've never knew any man that would wear female scents like it is the thing to do until him. I don't do much fussing now because I make it a point to buy him all kinds of things so he can stay out of mine.

Gill I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pink grapefruit!! When B&BW had their annual sale last month, I brought tons of it!! I've got enough to last me until the next big sale, which isn't until January

[Shemmy 4]

its funny u brought this topic up claire.. RG and I had a bit of a blow up a couple of days ago.. for some reason we were talking bout past..and somehow he voiced to me his opinion about women and multiple partners. he said women are different from men and should live more virtous lives ??????????

so of course we go back and forth about how this is such double standard and he tells me about a former girlfriend and how he NEVER looked at her the same becuz she told him that she had had alot of partners. His rass asks how many (big mistake) and she told him the truth that she had had 20 by the age of 25. He said he couldn't help feeling uncomfortable being around her becuz it was always in the back of his mind. he said she would have been better off keeping that to herself.. I was hot, I was like what does that have to do w/ the way she felt about u and how dare u make her feel bad becuz of something she had courage enough to share w/ you!!

See I am learning, I've only had a REAL relationship w/ my ex and I thought it was a good thing to talk about any and everything, but as I mature I see that is not always the case. Some things are better left unsaid.

Aint that the truth. I learned my lesson the hard way.

In our case, Damien kept inquiring about my past for two years (even a year after we got married). Everytime he brought it up, I would change the topic or not answer at all. It was an issue for us because I'm tired of the double standards. Neither one of us were angels when we met. Plus it doesn't help I am older than him so I have more experience. He finally got over it.

[*JG* 2]

Oh, Tre.....that is beautiful. You better stop badmouthing them now! (Kidding)

[clairern 0]

The other part to my question of the day!!!

Have you ever been curious about your SO's past and if you have been given detailed info, how does that make you feel and did you look at him/her any differently?

Mike has 5 kids with 5 different women and when I found out I was like "huh" and the way I reacted made him mad cause I jokingly said to him "you are a little #######, weren't you?" He was maaaaaadddd, but I jusgt laughed about it and moved on because this all happened when he was in the army and police force and he is a different person now. I do not use that what happened years ago to judge him.

I base my relationship with him now on the perspn he is and what life's lessons have taught him. Those experiences have made him who he is today, counseling kids to stay on the right path and serving his God. I am so grateful to God for him, although I can be a total "B" at time and test his patience.

[*JG* 2]

The other part to my question of the day!!!

Have you ever been curious about your SO's past and if you have been given detailed info, how does that make you feel and did you look at him/her any differently?

Mike has 5 kids with 5 different women and when I found out I was like "huh" and the way I reacted made him mad cause I jokingly said to him "you are a little #######, weren't you?" He was maaaaaadddd, but I jusgt laughed about it and moved on because this all happened when he was in the army and police force and he is a different person now. I do not use that what happened years ago to judge him.

I base my relationship with him now on the perspn he is and what life's lessons have taught him. Those experiences have made him who he is today, counseling kids to stay on the right path and serving his God. I am so grateful to God for him, although I can be a total "B" at time and test his patience.

Sure. I have in the past. I have met a few of his ex-girlfriends who lived in the community, came to parties, and remained friends with his sisters, and I sometimes talk to one who now lives in Canada and married a friend of his. I actually use that kind of stuff to base how I look at a man I am interested in. I look at how he treated/treats ex-girlfriends right up there with how he treats his sisters and his mother. In my book it all goes to how a man treats women all the way around.

Now, his sister, I look at differently after I found out she has 6 kids by 6 different men. In her case, the trend seems to be continuing though.

[dancehallquana 5]

its funny u brought this topic up claire.. RG and I had a bit of a blow up a couple of days ago.. for some reason we were talking bout past..and somehow he voiced to me his opinion about women and multiple partners. he said women are different from men and should live more virtous lives ??????????

so of course we go back and forth about how this is such double standard and he tells me about a former girlfriend and how he NEVER looked at her the same becuz she told him that she had had alot of partners. His rass asks how many (big mistake) and she told him the truth that she had had 20 by the age of 25. He said he couldn't help feeling uncomfortable being around her becuz it was always in the back of his mind. he said she would have been better off keeping that to herself.. I was hot, I was like what does that have to do w/ the way she felt about u and how dare u make her feel bad becuz of something she had courage enough to share w/ you!!

See I am learning, I've only had a REAL relationship w/ my ex and I thought it was a good thing to talk about any and everything, but as I mature I see that is not always the case. Some things are better left unsaid.

Aint that the truth. I learned my lesson the hard way.

In our case, Damien kept inquiring about my past for two years (even a year after we got married). Everytime he brought it up, I would change the topic or not answer at all. It was an issue for us because I'm tired of the double standards. Neither one of us were angels when we met. Plus it doesn't help I am older than him so I have more experience. He finally got over it.

girl yes, I told RG well u have had well over 20 partners and he was like yeah, but I am a man.. it amazes me how women can look over 3 baby mamas, 6 past girlfriends and at 5 "bed buddies" but they man get all uptight cuz they not a virgin..RG was like,I thought she was gonna say 5 or 6 but not 20! UGHHHH MEN!!!!!!!!!!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

The other part to my question of the day!!!

Have you ever been curious about your SO's past and if you have been given detailed info, how does that make you feel and did you look at him/her any differently?

Mike has 5 kids with 5 different women and when I found out I was like "huh" and the way I reacted made him mad cause I jokingly said to him "you are a little #######, weren't you?" He was maaaaaadddd, but I jusgt laughed about it and moved on because this all happened when he was in the army and police force and he is a different person now. I do not use that what happened years ago to judge him.

I base my relationship with him now on the perspn he is and what life's lessons have taught him. Those experiences have made him who he is today, counseling kids to stay on the right path and serving his God. I am so grateful to God for him, although I can be a total "B" at time and test his patience.

[size="6]Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!

and

Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone [/size]

[JaHoney 3]

Claire, i was kind of put off when i met D, as he has three kids as well, but i decided that when i decided to accept him for him, i had to accept his past. And im not sure who mentioned in a previous post, about with the self esteem issues allowing you to have let your mind wander with various scenarios, i admit at times i have to stop myself from letting my wind wander, or i will drive myself crazy. Even now i know he goes out to Margaritaville and different little venues with his brothers, and i have to believe that if he loves me and i plan to spend my life with this man, then i need to trust him. Now of course im not gonna be a fool,if it aint right i know how to remedy the situation.

[TYMOORE 0]

Lawny,

That's a blessing. The wedding and the baby shower..

[clairern 0]

You know, like Mike said to me when I made that comment. Sometimes you meet a person who you think is going to be "the one" and things happen. Hence his explanation for the issue at hand.