Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[sus 70]

Mrs. H, I am so sorry to hear - If you need anything, please PM - it is so hard to go through, but I agree with others that you have to let go and let God - Everything happens for a reason, and if it was meant to be it will be - If he loves you and wants to be with you, he needs to step up to the plate and do what he needs to do -

[wakeywakeup 1]

....yuh bettah tell him yuh want yuuh rass frock cleaned..u a go look at MESS infront a di ppl dem...how far a di closet cleaners ? a hpe di coffee never hot....yuh get burn ?

Heck yeah I got burned...and u know where too -- guess Marcel won't get none tonight (TMI). I'm doing the presetation in my blue sweats and green shirt on and my yellow walmart sandals. Maybe I should start taking my braids out...what ya'll think.

well you sure are colorful but I bet you're comfortable in the sweats

[wakeywakeup 1]

Ladies,

I am at my wits end. I haven't been around the message board for a bit because I guess I was hoping I would have some answers or stuff would work, etc. It has been over two weeks since I've talked to my SO and I don't know what is going on or what has happened. He won't or can't take my calls. I've called cousins of his and friends. They were hopeful at first and said don't worry. One of his friends says he keeps trying to call him but is not getting through. I've asked his cousins to get me more contact numbers and they haven't called me back in a couple of days. I just don't know what to think......except that this has happened before.

We've known each other for over five years. We filed for a fiance visa back in 2003 but very tragically his oldest son was killed in an accident and my SO lost it which is understandable. He was all consumed with caring for his youngest son after that who was only 14 at the time and he cut me out and we broke up. During the last five years we reconciled and we were both ready to get married and make a life together so I filed for the fiance visa again.

Now we were as far as receiving Packet 3 from the embassy. My SO mailed in a form which I later found out was the wrong form, hence we still haven't gotten an interview date. Basically, my last conversation, as brief as it was, was that he sent in the wrong form. He didn't believe me. We made a date to talk later to go over the papers over the phone and make sure he gets the correct one sent off. He didn't answer my call. The next day I got ahold of him but he was busy so he said he would call me after church the next day. The next day he did not call and ever since I haven't gotten through to him.

I just can't believe we are so close and once AGAIN it seems he is losing it. More hurtful is that I just plain don't know what is going on. We didn't argue. No big drama.

May I request a prayer for peace with the issue and things to work out to God's plan. I honestly believed it was part of God's plan that he and I were together again. I haven't completely given up hope but it doesn't look good either.

Thank you all.

Wow two weeks is a long time. Try not to think the worst. Only you know the man you feel in love with and how much he cares for you. Believe in God to get him to deal with whatever he is going through and that he talk to you about it. I'll pray for you.

Wakey

[nannygirl82 0]

Hi Ms Hellwig..

Girl, i know it's easier to say don;t worry blah blah blah..but listen to me..DONOT run after anything that is not willing or is running after u....leave him be..let him get it together..u can't be the only one fighting...someone MUST have talked, seen him or something dem a lie to...all i'm saying is always easier being said..but u go and ponder a take a look at everything..if he's not interested in finding out which form is the correct form to send it..then oh well..girl..i'm not saying let go..but just let GOD..u ever look at things and how they are moving in the total opposite sirection than what we want..but the outcome didn't change? u know why..b/c we can't control what God has already done....

sorry if that's not the answer/opinion that sounds right...but is the truth..And I will keep u in my prayers

come on 2wks wid no contact or attempt on his part...PLEASE !!

you took the words right out of my mouth...what will be will be...i haven't been your exact situation but there were times where mike was "unavailable" or lost his phone in a bush...and was unable to talk to him for days...i nearly lost my mind...but looking back those things that happend were i think little "red flags" that at the time i should have been more aware of a listend to....

[*JG* 2]

I never even went a day without talking to Andre. I can't even imagine.

Hey, Nanny.........what does Kaila's shirt say in that picture?

[TYMOORE 0]

Same here. Me and my SO talk everyday. Sometimes several times a day. I can only recall twice we went a day without talking to each other. We have a nightly ritual. I always talk to him before heading to bed.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Same here. Me and my SO talk everyday. Sometimes several times a day. I can only recall twice we went a day without talking to each other. We have a nightly ritual. I always talk to him before heading to bed.

JG/TY'more same here. We would speak several times for the day. If he could not find me he would freak out and call my siblings (since my ex was crazy and making threats).

[TYMOORE 0]

Lawny,

Boy do I have some crazy ex stories..Thank goodness there all really really old..

[sus 70]

Same here. Me and my SO talk everyday. Sometimes several times a day. I can only recall twice we went a day without talking to each other. We have a nightly ritual. I always talk to him before heading to bed.

JG/TY'more same here. We would speak several times for the day. If he could not find me he would freak out and call my siblings (since my ex was crazy and making threats).

We had that same ritual - But then I would stress myself out when we didn't talk, which was usually do to him losing or breaking his phone - I have gotten much more relaxed about it now, because I would drive myself nuts otherwise. He has also gotten much better about borrowing a phone and leaving me a message if something has happened to his - We typically talk every day, but there are some days due to his work schedule or mine that we end up leaving vm or texting instead of talking.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Ladies,

I am at my wits end. I haven't been around the message board for a bit because I guess I was hoping I would have some answers or stuff would work, etc. It has been over two weeks since I've talked to my SO and I don't know what is going on or what has happened. He won't or can't take my calls. I've called cousins of his and friends. They were hopeful at first and said don't worry. One of his friends says he keeps trying to call him but is not getting through. I've asked his cousins to get me more contact numbers and they haven't called me back in a couple of days. I just don't know what to think......except that this has happened before.

We've known each other for over five years. We filed for a fiance visa back in 2003 but very tragically his oldest son was killed in an accident and my SO lost it which is understandable. He was all consumed with caring for his youngest son after that who was only 14 at the time and he cut me out and we broke up. During the last five years we reconciled and we were both ready to get married and make a life together so I filed for the fiance visa again.

Now we were as far as receiving Packet 3 from the embassy. My SO mailed in a form which I later found out was the wrong form, hence we still haven't gotten an interview date. Basically, my last conversation, as brief as it was, was that he sent in the wrong form. He didn't believe me. We made a date to talk later to go over the papers over the phone and make sure he gets the correct one sent off. He didn't answer my call. The next day I got ahold of him but he was busy so he said he would call me after church the next day. The next day he did not call and ever since I haven't gotten through to him.

I just can't believe we are so close and once AGAIN it seems he is losing it. More hurtful is that I just plain don't know what is going on. We didn't argue. No big drama.

May I request a prayer for peace with the issue and things to work out to God's plan. I honestly believed it was part of God's plan that he and I were together again. I haven't completely given up hope but it doesn't look good either.

Thank you all.

Hi, I am sorry to hear you are going thru this right now, but it seems that you are unable to get through to him. Could it be that his phone is not working. Has anyone physically seen him? You stated that he is involve with his church, can you try calling the pastor to see if there is anything that he//she knows. It could be something minor, so don't jump to conclusions before you have heard back from family members and friends that he is physically okay.

least but not last it now may be the time for a trip to talk face to face. You know him better than any of us on this VJ site, five years is a long time to be involve with someone and for them to just disappear without any discussion.

Yes, maybe what you may find out is not what you want to hear or see, or it maybe that your presence is needed and required to continue this relationship.

But rememember no matter what decision you may make, our prayers and love are there for you. We will laugh with you or cry with you when this is resolved, but remember we are backing you no matter what.

Be Bless

Roxcie

[sus 70]

I thought this was worth sharing:

The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,

'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'

And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,

have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable

and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,

have a lap that can hold four children at one time,

have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart

-and she will do everything

with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

'Only two hands!? No way!

And that's just on the standard model?

That's too much work for one day.

Wait until tomorrow to finish.'

'But I won't, ' the Lord protest ed.

'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

She already heals herself when she is sick

AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,

'but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'

'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.

The Lord replied,

'Not only will she be able to think,

she will be able to reason and negotiate.'

The angel then noticed something,

and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.

I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'

'That's not a leak,'

the Lord corrected,

'that's a tear!'

'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,

her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,

her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'

T he angel was impressed.

'You are a genius, Lord.

You thought of everything!

Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness,

love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take 'no' for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

The y know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

[*SunRay* 1]

Ladies,

I am at my wits end. I haven't been around the message board for a bit because I guess I was hoping I would have some answers or stuff would work, etc. It has been over two weeks since I've talked to my SO and I don't know what is going on or what has happened. He won't or can't take my calls. I've called cousins of his and friends. They were hopeful at first and said don't worry. One of his friends says he keeps trying to call him but is not getting through. I've asked his cousins to get me more contact numbers and they haven't called me back in a couple of days. I just don't know what to think......except that this has happened before.

We've known each other for over five years. We filed for a fiance visa back in 2003 but very tragically his oldest son was killed in an accident and my SO lost it which is understandable. He was all consumed with caring for his youngest son after that who was only 14 at the time and he cut me out and we broke up. During the last five years we reconciled and we were both ready to get married and make a life together so I filed for the fiance visa again.

Now we were as far as receiving Packet 3 from the embassy. My SO mailed in a form which I later found out was the wrong form, hence we still haven't gotten an interview date. Basically, my last conversation, as brief as it was, was that he sent in the wrong form. He didn't believe me. We made a date to talk later to go over the papers over the phone and make sure he gets the correct one sent off. He didn't answer my call. The next day I got ahold of him but he was busy so he said he would call me after church the next day. The next day he did not call and ever since I haven't gotten through to him.

I just can't believe we are so close and once AGAIN it seems he is losing it. More hurtful is that I just plain don't know what is going on. We didn't argue. No big drama.

May I request a prayer for peace with the issue and things to work out to God's plan. I honestly believed it was part of God's plan that he and I were together again. I haven't completely given up hope but it doesn't look good either.

Thank you all.

Hi, I am sorry to hear you are going thru this right now, but it seems that you are unable to get through to him. Could it be that his phone is not working. Has anyone physically seen him? You stated that he is involve with his church, can you try calling the pastor to see if there is anything that he//she knows. It could be something minor, so don't jump to conclusions before you have heard back from family members and friends that he is physically okay.

least but not last it now may be the time for a trip to talk face to face. You know him better than any of us on this VJ site, five years is a long time to be involve with someone and for them to just disappear without any discussion.

Yes, maybe what you may find out is not what you want to hear or see, or it maybe that your presence is needed and required to continue this relationship.

But rememember no matter what decision you may make, our prayers and love are there for you. We will laugh with you or cry with you when this is resolved, but remember we are backing you no matter what.

Be Bless

Roxcie

Ms. H.

I hadn't seen you here in a while and I was wondering how things were going. Praying that you hear from your SO soon. I know it must be really hard to be so far away without any answers to your questions. I hope that in the end, you'll get some good news and you guy's can continue on with the process. You can alway's link me as well in PM if you want to chat about it. My goes out to you.... The one thing I learned the most about being on this site is that there really are some good people here. There's lots of support and it's always good to know you can just log in and through a situation out there and get some quick and very wise responses. The VJ family's nothing but the truth....

Edited July 16, 2008 by sunnyja21

[nannygirl82 0]

I never even went a day without talking to Andre. I can't even imagine.

Hey, Nanny.........what does Kaila's shirt say in that picture?

it says....Someone who loves me very much went to Ocean City MD and got me this shirt....that shirt is the cutest thing on her and i must say pink is her color!!

[Marlita 0]

I never even went a day without talking to Andre. I can't even imagine.

Hey, Nanny.........what does Kaila's shirt say in that picture?

Me and Evan are the same way. But there was a time (sometimes still happens) when he would call me and I would miss the calls and not talk to him for a day or two and I swear...the ----hit the fan. HE was calling my family mad as all hell with me and literally losing it and thinking I wasnt taking the relationship seriously. It got a bit ridiculous sometimes. I had to tell him to calm down and that dangit I'M BROKE!! So sometimes I just could not call or text. He has the better phone plan so its always him calling me, and me sending those "please call me back" texts. COMPLETE opposite of what you normally hear. Anyway, the point is he got upset when it "seemed" that I was not putting effort into the relationship as much as he was. So Ms. H I say he HAS TO start showing that same interest cause it will become a problem down the line. Sounds like he may be getting scared. It something he has to work out, but he should at least call you and voice his concerns to you also. Him running from the situation is not good.

[Forever Young 1]

Check this out ladies;

Location: Ghana

Rating: (3 / 5) Review Topic: K1 Visa

I went with my fiance for his interview in Ghana. When my fiance was called for his main interview I went with him to the consulate and after she asked who I was and why I was there she decided to do a as soon as she saw me she asked who I was and why I was here SPLIT INTERVIEW.

She interviewed my fiance and I seperately, my fiance was first then me. Afterwards she calls the both of us to her window, and this is how it went down

CONSULATE: Although you two know each other very well, and have too much evidence, I AM STILL NOT CONVINCED THAT THIS IS A GENUINE RELATIONSHIP.

I (USC FIANCEE): asked her why she felt that way?

CONSULATE: You and your fiance were dating while still married, which is suspicious to me, you have too much evidence as if you are trying so hard to prove something or cover up something, the fact that I was present for the interview is too much, why do I need to be here if I have all this evidence.

I (USC FIANCEE): I say to the lady, the reason I am here is support him, and we brought everything because we have already made wedding reservations that is costly and want to make sure we have everything you need to validate our relationship so that he will get the visa and we can continue with our scheduled wedding plans.

CONSULATE: Starts shaking her head and say no, it is her decision after all and she is not convinced even after doing our split interview so she will SEND petition back to USCIS and let them re-investigate the case.

I (USC FIANCEE) : Start raising my voice, and beg, cry and get mad all at the same time at the lady and she just gives us letter section 221(g) WITH NOTHING WRITTEN ON IT...SHE DOES NOT WRITE THE REASON FOR DENIAL ON THE LETTER AT ALL!!! JUST THE LETTER AND TELLS US TO LEAVE

THE NEXT MORNING WENESDAY JUNE 25, 2008.

I get online to VJ AND START POSTING LIKE CRAZY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME SEEKING HELP, I ALSO DID RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT REASONS FOR DENIALS FOR VISA AND NON OF THE CATEGORIES DESCRIBED ME AND MY FIANCE.

DEVOTED MEMBERS OF VJ STARTED REACHING OUT TO ME WHILE I WAS IN GHANA AND I GOT THE WISDOM THAT THE CONSULATE HAS TO WRITE THE DENIAL REASON ON THE FORM SO I CAN APPEAL OR AT LEAST HAVE IT IN WRITTING...SO THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO THE EMBASSY AND SEEK A HIGHER AUTHORITY CONSULATE.

AT 12:00 NOON, ME AND MY FIANCE ARRIVE AT THE EMBASSY....THE SECURITY GUARDS WILL NOT LET US IN BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT. MY FIANCE DECIDES TO BRIBE OR PAY ONE OF THE SECURITY GUARDS TO LET US IN....THE SECURITY GUARD SEEMED TEMPTED BUT HE WAS SURROUNDED BY OTHER SECURITY GUARDS. THEN I STARTED MAKING A SCENE AND SAYING THAT I AM A U.S. CITIZEN AND WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE AT THE EMBASSY WHO DEALS WITH U.S. AFFAIRS. THE SECURITY GUARD SAYS FINE, THAT I CAN ONLY GO INSIDE AND MY FIANCE HAS TO STAY OUTSIDE.

I ENTER THE BUILDING, AND AS SOON AS I ENTER THE FIRST CONSULATE I SAW AND SHE WAS IN THE PROCESS OF INTERVIEWING SOMEONE AT THAT TIME...I WENT TO HER WINDOWN AND INTERRUPTED HER INTERVIEW AND SAID PLEASE I AM HERE TO SEE THE SENIOR CONSULATE, PLEASE LET THEM KNOW I AM OUTSIDE, I AM LATE FOR MY APPOINTMENT.

THE CONSULATE NODS, AND CONTINUES HER INTERVIEW, AFTER SHE IS DONE SHE DISAPPEARS AND THEN RE-APPEARS AT HER WINDOW WITH ANOTHER LADY AND POINT AT ME. I COME TO THE WINDOW NOW ALL TEARY EYED...AND THE LADY ASK MY NAME AND PASSPORT, I GIVE IT TO HER SHE TELLS ME TO COME TO A DIFFERENT WINDOW. I GO THERE AND SHE IS ON THE COMPUTER THEN SHE SAYS " SORRY YOU DO NOT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SENIOR CONSULATE" WHERE IS YOUR APPOINTMENT LETTER. AT THIS POINT I START REALLY CRYING AND EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY AND SHOW HER THE DENIAL LETTER AND SAY AT LEAST CAN I HAVE THE DENIAL IN WRITING SO I MAY CHALLENGE, OR APPEAL IT?

SHE SAYS SHE IS THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THAT SHE WILL ARRANGE A MEETING WITH ME AND THE SENIOR CONSULATE THAT SAME AFTERNOON AT 2:30PM FOR ME TO COME BACK AND HE WILL RE-INTERVIEW ME AND FOR ME TO BRING MY FIANCE TOO.

ME AND MY FIANCE RETURN BACK TO THE EMBASSY AT 2:00PM. WE WAIT TILL 3:00PM. FINALLY THE SENIOR CONSULATE A NICE GOOD LOOKING WHITE MAN COMES CALLS US TO THE WINDOW, WE COME AND HE SAYS TO GO TO THE PRIVATE INTERVIEW ROOM. ME AND MY FIANCE GOES TO THE PRIVATE INTERVIEW ROOM. HE COMES INSIDE BUT THERE IS STILL A GLASS WALL SEPERATING US AND WE SPEAK THROUGH MICROPHONES. HE ASKS ME WHY DID I LIE THAT I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH HIM TODAY WHEN I DIDN'T.....

I START CRYING AND SAY I AM IN GHANA FOR A SHORT TIME ONLY, IF I DIDN'T SEE HIM BEFORE I LEAVE, I WAS AFRAID I WONT BE ABLE TO GET ANSWERS TO THE REASON WHY MY FIANCE WAS DENIED THE VISA. THE SENIOR CONSULATE ASKS MY FIANCE TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED AND THAT I HAVE DONE ALOT OF TALKING AND WANTS TO HERE FROM MY FIANCE. MY FIANCE EXPLAINS EVERYTHING TO HIM. THE SENIOR CONSULATE THEN ASKS IF MY FIANCE HAS HIS PASSPORT, MY FIANCE SHOWS HIM THE PASSPORT. THE SENIOR CONSULATE DECIDES TO ASK MY FIANCE RANDOM QUESTIONS AND MY FIANCE ANSWERS HIM, THEN HE ASKS ME RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW WE MET, AND THE TIMES WE SAW EACH OTHER . THEN THE CONSULATE.....FINISH HIS LINE OF QUESTIONING ASK ME AND MY FIANCE WHEN IS OUR WEDDING DATE AND THEN HE SAY WELL LOOKS LIKE YOU WILL MAKE IT AFTERALL....I AM OVERRIDING THE DENIAL AND YOU ARE NOW APPROVED FOR THE VISA, TAKE YOUR PASSPORT TO WINDOW #2 AND COME BACK ON FRIDAY TO PICK UP YOUR VISA.... I START CRYING AND SCREAMING TEARS OF JOY AND MY FIANCE EVEN HAD TEARS IN HIS EYES AND HELD ME UNTIL I CAN CONTROL MYSELF AND WE EXITED THE PRIVATE ROOM AND WENT TO THE WINDOW AND HE HANDED HIS PASSPORT IN. That is the whole experience in a nutshell, everyone will have a different experience but, just be prepared for your interview and you should be good!!

What a beautiful story!! I have tears in my eyes after reading it! GO FOR HER!!!!! I mean when ther is justifiable evidence or lack thereof to doubt the relationship is real...but to make up ish based on your morals is FOOLISHNESS!!!

I AM SO PROUD OF HER TO FIGHT FOR WHAT SHE WANTS!!!

Good lesson learned!

Plus, a friend of mine JUST told me that she filed for her man in...GHANA!! She got an RFE...so she asked me to help her. I put her in touch with the VJ Ghana ladies...just for this reason!

Bless,

Gill