Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[clairern 0]

mi can't wait for clarien to come wid the topic and the day soon done...so mi have a ???

This is sort of the flip side of most of us ladies were handling our business before we met our s/o. How do u handle that because we have it together sometimes the men, think it's okay to send down unreasonable sums of money to J.A. when mr jengles first came he threw out a three figure amount that he wanted to send down every WEEK. I had to ask him who he wanted to send that too?? It does kill me a little bit, that some people down there don't work and i'm up here busting my butt every day.

I explained to him how much daycare cost, the fact that they we needed a bigger place to live and most importantly...di fact that he didn't have a job or knew how much money he was going to make.

off to a meeting back in a few

Not here, other than to his daughter..who we send $300 a month. No!! When everyone else come begging he usually say no, unless they make him feel really bad, then he'll send 20 bucks here and there.

Can I be nosy and ask how he sends $20?

I hate to send anything less then $100 cause of the fees associated with Western Union.

You have an easier way?

Either western union...10 bucks.... or most of the time he'll put it on his daughters debit card and they have to pick it up

it's with a jamican bank?? someone told me they have a scottia bank here in brooklyn and mr jengles should look into that

I think it on Utica avenue close to citibank, either close to Clarkson/Lenox Roads.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

When my daughter was in Daycare ... and I even found preschool this way ... I called churches. Both the churches that helped me happen to be Methodist but Church people know people.... They know the community.

Open the yellow pages and call and visit everyone you can.

When I moved back to Maine I cried and cried because I didnt think I could afford it. Even though I work at home I couldnt get work done with a wired kid running around. I eventually found some GREAT care.

You have to hunt the good ones down!

I been crying and cryin too already and baby is nowhere near here yet. Going to do some OT now while i can to try save up some money and finish off my jamaica travel debt and the visa stuff. Im going to start lookign into and call some places. Im still hoping the TX thing will come through for me by summer that will tremendously cut my costs. They need 8 people to leave before i can come. So far one is leaving so now thats 7. Ill keep prayin on it. Ive also been trying to find places here cheaper where i dont have to sign a 12 month lease. Thank you all for ur advice i truly appreciate it, its like noone outside this visa/adjustment process can even begin to understand.

I know u want to transfer thru your job.

have u thought about trying to find a job on your own, after u have the baby. you can apply for jobs from up here thanks to the internet and plan a week and go and interview. that is one of my friends did. companies will/should be flexible if u say i'm coming down this particular week

That's what I did when I was moving from NYC to NC. I went down for two days and set up four interviews. I had my job the summer of 2005 to start Jan 2006.

Clairen, what part of NC are you in? I just moved back down here over the summer from MD/DC/VA. I ask because I try to imagine how my husband would adjust to living here if I decided to stay. Where I am currently (Durham) has a fairly nice sized African population, and I'm told that there is a small caribbean population, but I can't find 'em! lol While my husband says it wouldn't matter, I think it would definitely make a difference if he can see something that is somewhat familiar to him.

[Jengles 0]

You see it....It's been said that this thread is supposed to be a place where we give each other support. If you don't have anything positve to say why say it all...and why give an opinion based on nothing.....

That's just it, I DIDN"T say anything apart from those who ASKED....and as for positive, I did say to some who asked that I felt their relationship was sound....You are ASSUMING that I only had NEGATIVE things to say....As for giving an opinion based on nothing, it's my choice to provide it when ASKED

As for support, I believe that confirming someone's suspicions when asked is support, to reply 'stick with him everything's going to be ok' when in fact you believe the OPPOSITE is not support. It's hypocrisy.

I don't jump on people for their choices even if I think they are the wrong ones, I will offer prayers and best wishes.

I will ask a question which I think may lead someone to the conclusion I have reached, but if they refuse to see what's in front of them, I wouldn't push the issue.

If the issue is RIGHT in front of their eyes, I leave it alone, after all everyone here is GROWN.....

lawd she si fimmi picha dem already..Jengs..mi can get nuff hair wid out him even know

*sigh* mi ketch up...by di way..ALL WHO WAAN COME CHECK MI BATTY IT NO FROWNZY AT ALL ..MI AFFI LAY DUNG BESIDE MI HUSBAND A NITE TIME SO NO SPACE FI STINKING FISH !!

*cha*

just tek the bottle of dettol and done!!! mi nuh say nuttin bout nuh fish....can smell yuh underarm from here....wait deh is u wuk wid Lawny.....

yuh too brawlin

ahahahah..woieee.mi cyaa help it bi born a Town and mi grow a Portmore..tek mi outta di ghetto cyaan tek di ghetto outta mi...well sometimes

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

[clairern 0]

Question ladies...for those of you who have been separated from your SO/Spouse for a long time, or who will be separated for a while, did you ever consider establishing an account in both your names while they were still in JA? I've been researching the CR-1, and I know one of the "proof of relationship" items is "any joint accounts" between the two of you. I was wondering about this simply because of the distance, and how that would work. I've been thinking of opening a savings account so that we could both put into it, but I'm not sure. And if we did decide to go this route, would it be better to open the account here or down in JA? I know the only bank I've ever seen down there is Scotia Bank...and I live in NC and I know for a fact there is NOT one here!! What do you guys think?

Hey Mrs. Palmer, where in NC are you? I am in Raleigh!!!

[Jengles 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

When my daughter was in Daycare ... and I even found preschool this way ... I called churches. Both the churches that helped me happen to be Methodist but Church people know people.... They know the community.

Open the yellow pages and call and visit everyone you can.

When I moved back to Maine I cried and cried because I didnt think I could afford it. Even though I work at home I couldnt get work done with a wired kid running around. I eventually found some GREAT care.

You have to hunt the good ones down!

I been crying and cryin too already and baby is nowhere near here yet. Going to do some OT now while i can to try save up some money and finish off my jamaica travel debt and the visa stuff. Im going to start lookign into and call some places. Im still hoping the TX thing will come through for me by summer that will tremendously cut my costs. They need 8 people to leave before i can come. So far one is leaving so now thats 7. Ill keep prayin on it. Ive also been trying to find places here cheaper where i dont have to sign a 12 month lease. Thank you all for ur advice i truly appreciate it, its like noone outside this visa/adjustment process can even begin to understand.

I know u want to transfer thru your job.

have u thought about trying to find a job on your own, after u have the baby. you can apply for jobs from up here thanks to the internet and plan a week and go and interview. that is one of my friends did. companies will/should be flexible if u say i'm coming down this particular week

That's what I did when I was moving from NYC to NC. I went down for two days and set up four interviews. I had my job the summer of 2005 to start Jan 2006.

Clairen, what part of NC are you in? I just moved back down here over the summer from MD/DC/VA. I ask because I try to imagine how my husband would adjust to living here if I decided to stay. Where I am currently (Durham) has a fairly nice sized African population, and I'm told that there is a small caribbean population, but I can't find 'em! lol While my husband says it wouldn't matter, I think it would definitely make a difference if he can see something that is somewhat familiar to him.

Is there a place there that you can get west indian food? like a market?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Question ladies...for those of you who have been separated from your SO/Spouse for a long time, or who will be separated for a while, did you ever consider establishing an account in both your names while they were still in JA? I've been researching the CR-1, and I know one of the "proof of relationship" items is "any joint accounts" between the two of you. I was wondering about this simply because of the distance, and how that would work. I've been thinking of opening a savings account so that we could both put into it, but I'm not sure. And if we did decide to go this route, would it be better to open the account here or down in JA? I know the only bank I've ever seen down there is Scotia Bank...and I live in NC and I know for a fact there is NOT one here!! What do you guys think?

Hey Mrs. Palmer, where in NC are you? I am in Raleigh!!!

Durham...actually I live on the Durham/Wake County line

[clairern 0]

Since I won't be on again before you leave...

Have a safe trip Gilly!!! We love you! Good luck on Tuesday!

Yeah, Gill you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

[Jengles 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

but see u never sey u have good heart....so what u badminded??? a joke me a mek

Edited March 8, 2008 by Jengles

[SupportOAFJF 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

but see u never sey u have good hear....so what u badminded??? a joke me a mek

u no si mi agree wid yuh statement..mi affi be specific..cho

[Jengles 0]

yeah good luck to Gill, when is she leaving tomorrow??? I hope it goes well and i hope she is there when Lawny's cousin ex-fiance shows up for his interview. lol

[SupportOAFJF 0]

yeah good luck to Gill, when is she leaving tomorrow??? I hope it goes well and i hope she is there when Lawny's cousin ex-fiance shows up for his interview. lol

she a leave Sunday..mi woulda luv fi si him dutty face

[Jengles 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

but see u never sey u have good hear....so what u badminded??? a joke me a mek

u no si mi agree wid yuh statement..mi affi be specific..cho

girl now a days, mi a try be careful what mi agree too...cause next thing u know..yuh mad at me and mi nuh no why??

[SupportOAFJF 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

but see u never sey u have good hear....so what u badminded??? a joke me a mek

u no si mi agree wid yuh statement..mi affi be specific..cho

girl now a days, mi a try be careful what mi agree too...cause next thing u know..yuh mad at me and mi nuh no why??

..wid fi mi big mout yuh no affi wonder cause mi ago tellk yuh..minah wait till the next day trust

memba dat drink i wanted earlier..well i had it..i had a strawberry daiquiri...and YES to baxide it was virgin..

[Jengles 0]

please to leave him hair pon him head, if not he will have plenty to tell the MIL. LOL

Yuh come in like one of mi friend mi used to go a dance wid...come from town..she had a good heart...but would cuss u in a second if she look at you the wrong way...lemme ask u from now...yah ever wear Moschino and leff di tag dem pon u clothes????

ahah..a tru jengs a so mi stay..dats why no keep fren no mi alwasy pop off mi tag dem...mi fraid ppl ago si it..ahahaha..mi not even like return clothes wah cyaan fit

but see u never sey u have good hear....so what u badminded??? a joke me a mek

u no si mi agree wid yuh statement..mi affi be specific..cho

girl now a days, mi a try be careful what mi agree too...cause next thing u know..yuh mad at me and mi nuh no why??

..wid fi mi big mout yuh no affi wonder cause mi ago tellk yuh..minah wait till the next day trust

memba dat drink i wanted earlier..well i had it..i had a strawberry daiquiri...and YES to baxide it was virgin..

Is wha u really vex bout?? wha u expect?? yuh nah breed?? and it taste good don't ??? so hush u mout?? and gwan a yah bed??? *cha*