Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[*JG* 2]

Has anyone had experience or know anyone that has used the free health care that is supposedly available?

I have been having this exact debate with DJ lately, because he's been sick. He will never ask me for anything, and gets mad at me when I do things - He needs to go to the doctor, and keeps telling me he will go when he has enough money - He said that he doesn't want to go and sit there for hours and wait. In my mind, not a good enough reason - I have had my days of having to use the clinics / Planned Parenthood / whatever because I had no insurance and couldn't get there. It's frustrating to wait, but better to go sit there and wait than it is to not be seen by a doctor and get treated.

Now you all are making me feel guilty that I should send him money to go!

I'm sorry; but if there is indeed free medical care available to him, he better be sitting there waiting for it. No, do not send him money in this case.

Honey, it really sounds like he needs to go see a dentist. If it's that bad, it could be abscesed. He'll be in for real problems if that is the case.

[Ms. Hellwig 0]

Nope JG, im just honeychild on here and littlerosey on jamaica talk. I have been to st louis once and never been to Minnesota, Ms. H, but have always wanted to come to the mall of america.

The Mall of America is something to see. Let me know if you ever make it this way. That goes for anyone!

[sus 70]

sus..YOU SHOULD NOT feel guilty if he is doing what he needs to do in JA to support himself and something comes up if u can you can and if u can't u can't like JG said. If he is waiting for you to send the money that's a problem..and not working or nothing..nothing comes to a waiting hand

No - he's definitely not waiting for me to send the money, and hasn't asked - He is waiting until he has the money - Just the typical stubborn man who thinks it will go away by itself or not get worse by not going to the doctor. With his work, his money doesn't come in regularly, and he isn't the best on budgeting himself - something he is learning. Before, he never had to worry about it - with his car getting stolen, it set him back - Also, I know he spent way more than he should have when we were in Negril, but he wouldn't let me pay for things

Edited June 19, 2008 by sus

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Ok....Sus..just as long as he is doing his best too....

sorry about misunderstanding ur statement

[dancehallquana 5]

sus..YOU SHOULD NOT feel guilty if he is doing what he needs to do in JA to support himself and something comes up if u can you can and if u can't u can't like JG said. If he is waiting for you to send the money that's a problem..and not working or nothing..nothing comes to a waiting hand

I agree w/ this 100%. I too have had my turn on assistance and if I had to wait all day, although I HATED it, that is just what I had to do.. You know in your gut what to do and don't feel guilty about your decision.. I am not free w/ my money to my relatives here let alone to RG in JA. I have helped him before don't get me wrong, but like JG said there have been times when I couldn't and the next thing I know he has the money to get what he needs from some other means, just like we all make it happen when we need something. Each situation is gonna be different, but one thing is for sure u don't have to be nobody's SAVIOR.. we each have resources at our disposable to ATTEMPT to take care of ourselves and then once exhausted we should most def seek help..

[JaHoney 3]

Just last week he took his son in for an abscessed tooth to the free clinic and waited for like 6 hours, so i said get up and get your tail over there what are you waiting on? and he says i have to go to work, and if i go to the clinic i will not make it to work, so i say, look if you go in to work sweating and moaning and crying your not going to be able to work anydanggone way. he still had to pay for his son to get a prescription and so even if he does go to the clinic, he is going to need the medicine. He is starting to piss me off, acting like he is giving birth over there, i mean i know he is in pain, but if im willing to help then get up and quit crying and figure out where you need to go, or what i need to do so i can go back to work!!!!!

Dont get me wrong, i love him, but they can be such babies sometimes...LOL

[sus 70]

Dont get me wrong, i love him, but they can be such babies sometimes...LOL

Honey, I think this is the bottom line, and it applies to most men when they are sick, lol - Doesn't matter where they are, they whine and drive us nuts!

[dancehallquana 5]

sus..YOU SHOULD NOT feel guilty if he is doing what he needs to do in JA to support himself and something comes up if u can you can and if u can't u can't like JG said. If he is waiting for you to send the money that's a problem..and not working or nothing..nothing comes to a waiting hand

I agree w/ this 100%. I too have had my turn on assistance and if I had to wait all day, although I HATED it, that is just what I had to do.. You know in your gut what to do and don't feel guilty about your decision.. I am not free w/ my money to my relatives here let alone to RG in JA. I have helped him before don't get me wrong, but like JG said there have been times when I couldn't and the next thing I know he has the money to get what he needs from some other means, just like we all make it happen when we need something. Each situation is gonna be different, but one thing is for sure u don't have to be nobody's SAVIOR.. we each have resources at our disposable to ATTEMPT to take care of ourselves and then once exhausted we should most def seek help..

ignore what I just said.. just read your reply Sus..

[Ms. Hellwig 0]

Another lesson I am learning in dealing with my SO is that sometimes I just have to let go. He is an adult and he can make his own decisions and I just have to say "whatever". Either go to the clinic and deal with or don't go and deal with it. Being so far away there is only so much you can do. That is my two cents.

[Islandwoman 0]

sus..YOU SHOULD NOT feel guilty if he is doing what he needs to do in JA to support himself and something comes up if u can you can and if u can't u can't like JG said. If he is waiting for you to send the money that's a problem..and not working or nothing..nothing comes to a waiting hand

I agree w/ this 100%. I too have had my turn on assistance and if I had to wait all day, although I HATED it, that is just what I had to do.. You know in your gut what to do and don't feel guilty about your decision.. I am not free w/ my money to my relatives here let alone to RG in JA. I have helped him before don't get me wrong, but like JG said there have been times when I couldn't and the next thing I know he has the money to get what he needs from some other means, just like we all make it happen when we need something. Each situation is gonna be different, but one thing is for sure u don't have to be nobody's SAVIOR.. we each have resources at our disposable to ATTEMPT to take care of ourselves and then once exhausted we should most def seek help..

Amen to that!!

[sus 70]

Another lesson I am learning in dealing with my SO is that sometimes I just have to let go. He is an adult and he can make his own decisions and I just have to say "whatever". Either go to the clinic and deal with or don't go and deal with it. Being so far away there is only so much you can do. That is my two cents.

That is one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, Ms. H - Because I am a caregiver and it runs in my family - My grandmother had everyone under the sun living in her house at one point or another - My mother has done it, I have done it at points in my life. It's hard for me to step back and let someone suffer when I can step in and help (not talking about this situation, just in general). But I have to learn to put myself first more often and not others, and it's a hard lesson to learn.

[Islandwoman 0]

Just last week he took his son in for an abscessed tooth to the free clinic and waited for like 6 hours, so i said get up and get your tail over there what are you waiting on? and he says i have to go to work, and if i go to the clinic i will not make it to work, so i say, look if you go in to work sweating and moaning and crying your not going to be able to work anydanggone way. he still had to pay for his son to get a prescription and so even if he does go to the clinic, he is going to need the medicine. He is starting to piss me off, acting like he is giving birth over there, i mean i know he is in pain, but if im willing to help then get up and quit crying and figure out where you need to go, or what i need to do so i can go back to work!!!!!

Dont get me wrong, i love him, but they can be such babies sometimes...LOL

This what confuses me about the "free" at the clinics: according to all the reports that I read the public clinics and hospitals are supposed to offer free care and if the doc said you need a script, you get the meds for free as well. The only time you should pay is if you have to go to a private pharm for the meds because the public clinic/hosp doesn't have them.

MEN are BABIES...that's why God gave the job of having babies to women!!!

[*JG* 2]

Another lesson I am learning in dealing with my SO is that sometimes I just have to let go. He is an adult and he can make his own decisions and I just have to say "whatever". Either go to the clinic and deal with or don't go and deal with it. Being so far away there is only so much you can do. That is my two cents.

I do it all the time. I've also learned how to let it all go. If I suggest something and he wants to do something else (crazy and without thinking it through first), I sometimes say "fine; but don't expect me to sympathize or bail you out if it doesn't go your way."

And, Amen on the baby part. That does not change as they age either.

[Sonshyne 2]

Another lesson I am learning in dealing with my SO is that sometimes I just have to let go. He is an adult and he can make his own decisions and I just have to say "whatever". Either go to the clinic and deal with or don't go and deal with it. Being so far away there is only so much you can do. That is my two cents.

I do it all the time. I've also learned how to let it all go. If I suggest something and he wants to do something else (crazy and without thinking it through first), I sometimes say "fine; but don't expect me to sympathize or bail you out if it doesn't go your way."

And, Amen on the baby part. That does not change as they age either.

Good morning Yardies,

Tre have safe travels to you!!

Irie congrats to you and your SO!!

Mommy2B hang in there everything will be fine.

I have had to learn to do the samething... Sometimes I can't tell him nothing, I'll tell him once maybe twice, after that I just sit back and say OK, Don't say I didn't try to tell you. I believe that there is no better teacher than experience.

[JaHoney 3]

Another lesson I am learning in dealing with my SO is that sometimes I just have to let go. He is an adult and he can make his own decisions and I just have to say "whatever". Either go to the clinic and deal with or don't go and deal with it. Being so far away there is only so much you can do. That is my two cents.

I do it all the time. I've also learned how to let it all go. If I suggest something and he wants to do something else (crazy and without thinking it through first), I sometimes say "fine; but don't expect me to sympathize or bail you out if it doesn't go your way."

And, Amen on the baby part. That does not change as they age either.

He said they wanted to give his son a script for something generic, penicillin maybe, i dont remember, but he said the last time his son was sick penicillin made him sicker, so this time they gave him a script for something different which he had to pay for, not much but still an out of pocket cost. Hell if someone offered to just pull the damn thing, he better be the first one in line, saying me first, but of course, he thinks if he does his " solution" and takes unknown blue pills, that at some point he will feel better. I also have the tendency to " mother/want to take care of people" and i have a hard time not. I am a registered social worker by trade, so all day, im hearing peoples problems and how to fix them, shoot i need someone to take care of me for a change...LOL...anyhow i just text him and told him if you dont take your tail to the clinic, i cant listen to anymore crying, cuz it isnt getting better laying in the bed, that much is obvious