Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[*JG* 2]

I had an ex-BF in JA who would say that I WANT TO SLEEP NOW stuff. It was never good with him. He was just avoiding the issues.

Until you know what's going on in his head, Claire, you probably shouldn't speculate though. This LD thing makes you crazy with speculations.

[Jengles 0]

Lawny,

I see nothing wrong with it either...but would the man like it...that is the question..

[*JG* 2]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

Hell, I don't even want to be home exclusively looking after the kids. My personality does not allow me to stay in the house for long!

[tnw 0]

Claire......

Has he voiced any objections before? About moving to the US, I mean?

Do you think he had an argument or something with his father that could make him hesitant to move?

He could just be scared. It is a big step for anyone.

I think at the very least, you need to have some good sit down, heart to hearts with him to find out what the problem is.

I absolutely think you are in the most perfect situation. With those of us on K-1's & K-3's we are given little time to live together and make that smooth transition from living apart to marrying and being together almost all the time at first. Someone I know was saying she wished they gave us 4 months before the K-1 expired. I said 6 would be even better. The transition is just so sudden and difficult to work with.

Anyhow, I think you are the luckiest girl I have heard of in a long time. Yes, use the time to see how it all flows. That is a brilliant thing to do.

And, no, since his father is directly involved in this one, I think it was appropriate to discuss with him. I am almost thinking you should've said all that to Mike first though. I think I would definately discuss it before he finds out from his father.

True....sounds like he's either anxious or feeling stressed by the whole thing but I agree...Take the time to find out. Going to his dad's might be what u need to put a little distance there so you can see what he really wants and expects and what u want outta this too. I'm sure you wanted more of a reaction outta him based on all the Good News you were trying to give him etc. so hopefully.....It'll all work out for the best over time.

[Jengles 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

Hell, I don't even want to be home exclusively looking after the kids. My personality does not allow me to stay in the house for long!

when i was home before i had the baby, i was always outside. I stayed home with my son and after a while i started feeling disconnected from the outside world. think it would be harder for someone who isn't from here..might start to feel isolated...maybe this is why English wants a job?

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

[Yaads 0]

Regarding the whole stay at home dad thing...I can honestly say I don't know too many JA men that would be ok with minding kids all day and not out making money supporting the family. While I don't see anything wrong with it I know from a cultural standpoint and a pride/ego thing...not going to happen with most JA men. You could explain til you are blue in the face about the logistics and how it would be better for him to stay home and you to work but when it comes down to it they aren't going to be ok with their wife being the only one making money. Now I am talking most JA men...not all cause you never know you could find someone who doesn't mind but I think it would be rare.

[Jengles 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

[*JG* 2]

If you get to itemize, you do get to take a portion of that daycare cost off your taxes too. It's not a big plus in lieu of the costs involved; but it is something.

[tnw 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

Hell, I don't even want to be home exclusively looking after the kids. My personality does not allow me to stay in the house for long!

In theory, it SOUNDS good having the SO's watching the kids rather than having to pay hundreds of dollars in childcare but I agree with JG on this one....

I'm not sure ME or Dave could stay home like that and be happy doing it - long term. I know I couldn't probably do it but then again, this might be why I don't have any kids yet either

Selfish....I know LOL

[IrieCat 2]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

When my daughter was in Daycare ... and I even found preschool this way ... I called churches. Both the churches that helped me happen to be Methodist but Church people know people.... They know the community.

Open the yellow pages and call and visit everyone you can.

When I moved back to Maine I cried and cried because I didnt think I could afford it. Even though I work at home I couldnt get work done with a wired kid running around. I eventually found some GREAT care.

You have to hunt the good ones down!

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

nope only folks i know in jersey are the peopl i work with no friends here outside. Mom is in MD. Id have more options there if i were still living there

[Jengles 0]

If you get to itemize, you do get to take a portion of that daycare cost off your taxes too. It's not a big plus in lieu of the costs involved; but it is something.

right think it's between 3 to 5 thousand dollars

[IrieCat 2]

If you get to itemize, you do get to take a portion of that daycare cost off your taxes too. It's not a big plus in lieu of the costs involved; but it is something.

right think it's between 3 to 5 thousand dollars

Holy cow! When I spent close to 10,000 on daycare .. I got $600 back. :-(

Must depend on the state.

[Jengles 0]

hi guys do u think any of ur SOs would object to being a stay at home dad if need be if its cheaper than daycare? By the way what are infant daycare costs like and the times in which u can drop them off and pick them up.

I can't say this loud enough but YES, most jamaican men do not like to be at home, looking after pickney, even if it's theres. they want to work be out the house.

yup that was his response when i asked him. My thoughts were that it may be cheaper for him stay home. Its just a thought. Now if he gets paid like 11.75 im estimating at 40 hours a week that would give about 350 maybe? and that will only just cover daycare and we need a lot more than that im trying figure what cost i will cut to afford daycare and any other expenses right now i have no extra to cover that so i been praying on it and trying find a cheaper place to live.

did u price daycare where u are??? know any older ladies who want to supplement their income??? Is your mother near you she might know someone

nope only folks i know in jersey are the peopl i work with no friends here outside. Mom is in MD. Id have more options there if i were still living there

try craigslist.com and ask your friends at work, u never know where help might come from