Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[shrewdgal 0]

I really dont' know what to say, Shrewdie. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. But, whatever comes to mind, just doesnt' seem enough to even say out loud.

Know that even when I dont' say anything, I read what you write and I say a little prayer for you.

thank you.

I just dont know what to do guys. My marriage is really suffering from this. ya know? we just didnt think we would be 7 months into this without ANY light in sight..7 months isnt that long..but we have no hope in it being over anytime soon.

I mean, I dont know about yall..but this long distance stuff is hard... I think marriage is hard enough (first marriage..so not sure..haha) without all this added stuff...right???

Maybe that is more it..that we are having problems and theyjust cant be dealt with properly living like this.

anyway.. I didnt mean to spill out all that on you guys but its so hard to be transparent with people about all this because they dont understand like my yardie family.

Thanks so much for the prayers guys. they mean so much.

I really dont' know what to say, Shrewdie. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. But, whatever comes to mind, just doesnt' seem enough to even say out loud.

Know that even when I dont' say anything, I read what you write and I say a little prayer for you.

SHREWIE;

I feel the same way. I'm always thinking about you.

Shrewdie, I know you've heard it so many times before and I know it seems like you just can't continue to do it anymore, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hang in there. I know what it's like to wait...my husband and I have been apart for a long time, and won't even file until next year, and I know how difficult the waiting and agonizing can be from firsthand experience...but know this...as long as you two are wholly committed to one another, and commited to sticking through the GOOD AND BAD, then you will get through this...even when your tunnel seems pitch black...let him be your eyes, and you can be the same for him...you all have to SEE yourselves that one day this too shall pass...You can PM me if you ever want/need to vent, talk, whatever...I'm here...Remember why you married him, and what being together means to you two...and go down there and enjoy every minute with your man when your time comes...I know you need it! Love ya mami!

thank you!

now if we could just get those vermont pple to think about me... hahah

Nice words, Mrs. P.

I want to say this, too, Shrewdie......Any problems.....you both need to figure out how to deal with them NO MATTER WHAT. Him being here with you is not the end all solution. You seem really smart, sweet, and resourceful. You can do this. You can hang in there. You can hope. And, you can make it work. I think he's a very lucky guy to have you!

Thanks JG.

We try to deal with them but he just shuts down. When we are face to face I can draw that out. I havent talked to him in days. I dont know how to feel about that.

[sus 70]

Dyam Sus-ie...yuh meez...is 'GOOD TUH GO!!!!!!'

Well have a blast for all of us Chica!!!!

Gill

I am definitely good to go - I spent the last two days in a seminar, am here all day today then half a day tomorrow and I am out! if I make it through the next two days with my sanity intact I will be okay, lol!

[*JG* 2]

I really dont' know what to say, Shrewdie. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. But, whatever comes to mind, just doesnt' seem enough to even say out loud.

Know that even when I dont' say anything, I read what you write and I say a little prayer for you.

thank you.

I just dont know what to do guys. My marriage is really suffering from this. ya know? we just didnt think we would be 7 months into this without ANY light in sight..7 months isnt that long..but we have no hope in it being over anytime soon.

I mean, I dont know about yall..but this long distance stuff is hard... I think marriage is hard enough (first marriage..so not sure..haha) without all this added stuff...right???

Maybe that is more it..that we are having problems and theyjust cant be dealt with properly living like this.

anyway.. I didnt mean to spill out all that on you guys but its so hard to be transparent with people about all this because they dont understand like my yardie family.

Thanks so much for the prayers guys. they mean so much.

I really dont' know what to say, Shrewdie. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. But, whatever comes to mind, just doesnt' seem enough to even say out loud.

Know that even when I dont' say anything, I read what you write and I say a little prayer for you.

SHREWIE;

I feel the same way. I'm always thinking about you.

Shrewdie, I know you've heard it so many times before and I know it seems like you just can't continue to do it anymore, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hang in there. I know what it's like to wait...my husband and I have been apart for a long time, and won't even file until next year, and I know how difficult the waiting and agonizing can be from firsthand experience...but know this...as long as you two are wholly committed to one another, and commited to sticking through the GOOD AND BAD, then you will get through this...even when your tunnel seems pitch black...let him be your eyes, and you can be the same for him...you all have to SEE yourselves that one day this too shall pass...You can PM me if you ever want/need to vent, talk, whatever...I'm here...Remember why you married him, and what being together means to you two...and go down there and enjoy every minute with your man when your time comes...I know you need it! Love ya mami!

thank you!

now if we could just get those vermont pple to think about me... hahah

Nice words, Mrs. P.

I want to say this, too, Shrewdie......Any problems.....you both need to figure out how to deal with them NO MATTER WHAT. Him being here with you is not the end all solution. You seem really smart, sweet, and resourceful. You can do this. You can hang in there. You can hope. And, you can make it work. I think he's a very lucky guy to have you!

Thanks JG.

We try to deal with them but he just shuts down. When we are face to face I can draw that out. I havent talked to him in days. I dont know how to feel about that.

Some men are just like that. However, in any relationship and especially in a LD relationship, it's a neccessity to communicate, even about unpleasant things. Keep up the fight on that.

[brownnskinn 0]

and plus mi neva seh ME a go fight a battle...i a PREPARE I self..when i get a conversation going then I know to put my "GUARD" down...afta mi no dyam fool fi as mi hear PATOIS mi face mek up and mi mout push up and a war time...

I understand kimmy.. Its not something I would say I am proud of, but in instances where I have to deal w/ people of my color, I tend to expect a lil more confrontation or aggression cuz i know "us". Not saying that is everybody and that Black Americans don't know how to act. Everybody's background and upbringing is different and I know every race or culture have rude individuals. All that is true, but like u say that is another form of racism I know I have and ALOT of people I know do too. I don't treat anybody any different, but in the back of my mind I have already expected the communication to go a certain way.. If it doesn't that is great, but if it does, I am not surprised.

Morning. This is so true! I think, esp with Black Americans.

[brownnskinn 0]

Lawny...that's true...mi hear dem and dat foolishness all the time....and yes it can or will affect ur credit score when u close an account..

I've heard this as well, but I also read in one of Dave R. books that, it's just a myth the credit card companies want us to believe to keep us in debt or the possibility of being in debt close by. It's all about the ratio of debt to income. I think if you have a 0 balance on a card, it can be looked at by some as income. When you close the account you are reducing that ratio. But who cares, even if you close it it's still there- your payment history on the account. They can see that you were responsible and paid the account on time when it was closed. I've closed accounts in the past, it was like pulling teeth, you have to keep calling and calling before they actually close it and then sometimes they want something in writing before they close the account. Weird, when you didn't ask for something in writing to open the account

[brownnskinn 0]

Well, my balance was ZERO...I owed them nothing and they were charging me a fee because I was not using the card...dem BAXIDE can go to HELL.

They have to make their money some how. You damned if you do you damned if you don't. When hubby found out about the maintenance fee on one of his accounts he had the same response. Close the damn thing.

[brownnskinn 0]

My husband is actually the chattier of the two of us. I must use up all my words on here all day!

That's funny JG!! I am definitely the chattier of the two of us...but somedays when Ken is on a roll...I'm just like...DAMN!!!! Just Shhhh for a second!

Don't even get me started with catching bits and pieces of my words. Ok, example we are working hard to set a wedding date now...we BOTH sat down and came up with 6/8/08 or 6/14/08. Ken said he preferred 6/8/08..."It's a Sunday, bless-ed day... ray-tay-tay!" So the other day he was talking to his Aunt in the Bronx and told her to hold the 14th!!!!!

When I said ..."No, WE decided on th 8th 'Sunday...Blessed day'...yatayatayata...he was like "Oh, but yuh never really confirmed that date so I thought you were sticking with the 14th!"

I had to ask him...'So what were you expecting a wedding invitation to your own wedding!?"

Then he was talking to his brother on the phone in JA yesterday and was like "Yeah...we a get married pon deh 14th!!!!" Then looked at me and started laughing! "A joke....mi yute ah deh 7th we a git married!"

He was DEAD SERIOUS!!!!

Whatever!! I'll just have to drag his ### to the church on the right day

Gill

DWLLLLLLLL At my cousins wedding last year...her husband (JAMAICAN) refused to wear dress shoes with his tux...instead he shows up on the beach with WHITE TIMBERLANDS (UNTIED) with the laces all over the place

Oh, HELL no!

That's what about 20 plus people repeated. My cousin's dad got up and walked off. His brothers had to pull him aside and talked to him. He returned to the room and changed his shoes. He should have know better he's 38 years old. His excuse (he needs to be comfortable it's his day also)...I understand it's your day too, but come on. It was bad enough the tux he was wearing made him look like a damn PIMP...down to his hat with a big GREEN feather sticking out the side of it. It was damn near 100 degrees outside too.

Ohhhhhhh HELL NAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lawny, yuh cousin is bettah dan mi!!

[*JG* 2]

Well, my balance was ZERO...I owed them nothing and they were charging me a fee because I was not using the card...dem BAXIDE can go to HELL.

They have to make their money some how. You damned if you do you damned if you don't. When hubby found out about the maintenance fee on one of his accounts he had the same response. Close the damn thing.

I don't use any accounts where I have to pay a fee.

[shrewdgal 0]

Lawny...that's true...mi hear dem and dat foolishness all the time....and yes it can or will affect ur credit score when u close an account..

I've heard this as well, but I also read in one of Dave R. books that, it's just a myth the credit card companies want us to believe to keep us in debt or the possibility of being in debt close by. It's all about the ratio of debt to income. I think if you have a 0 balance on a card, it can be looked at by some as income. When you close the account you are reducing that ratio. But who cares, even if you close it it's still there- your payment history on the account. They can see that you were responsible and paid the account on time when it was closed. I've closed accounts in the past, it was like pulling teeth, you have to keep calling and calling before they actually close it and then sometimes they want something in writing before they close the account. Weird, when you didn't ask for something in writing to open the account

I love Dave Ramsey!!

But- I know for a fact it is true because my friend just dealt with this issue, of his account closing (his request) after it was paid and it caused his credit score to go down considerable. blah.

Im sure there are more details than that, but tahts what I know.

[dancehallquana 5]

Dyam Sus-ie...yuh meez...is 'GOOD TUH GO!!!!!!'

Well have a blast for all of us Chica!!!!

Gill

I am definitely good to go - I spent the last two days in a seminar, am here all day today then half a day tomorrow and I am out! if I make it through the next two days with my sanity intact I will be okay, lol!

LOOK Sus's meez is doing the "tek weh yuhself"!!!! Get it GIRL! She bout to tek weh ta JA!!!

Morning EVERYONE!!

[dancehallquana 5]

Well, my balance was ZERO...I owed them nothing and they were charging me a fee because I was not using the card...dem BAXIDE can go to HELL.

They have to make their money some how. You damned if you do you damned if you don't. When hubby found out about the maintenance fee on one of his accounts he had the same response. Close the damn thing.

I don't use any accounts where I have to pay a fee.

me either JG.. I have been w/ my credit union since graduation from highschool almost and there is no minimum balance or maintanance fees..I would not know how to act w/ all those complications.

[Marie876 0]

Morning everyone!

Has anyone ever filled out the Birth certificate application online through the RGD website? Also...my JA birth certificate is the "old" version. Can I use that when filing the I-130 or do I need to get the new long version?

TIA,

Marie

Morning;

You wil lneed the new version. If you order it on line I think they give you 8 copies...I don't know why. I sent my old birth certificate to my fiance and he was able to get a new one for me in 3 weeks.

Thanks Lawny! 8 copies is a lot but as long as there's no extra fees lol. I guess I can't complain about losing it

[*JG* 2]

Morning everyone!

Has anyone ever filled out the Birth certificate application online through the RGD website? Also...my JA birth certificate is the "old" version. Can I use that when filing the I-130 or do I need to get the new long version?

TIA,

Marie

Morning;

You wil lneed the new version. If you order it on line I think they give you 8 copies...I don't know why. I sent my old birth certificate to my fiance and he was able to get a new one for me in 3 weeks.

Thanks Lawny! 8 copies is a lot but as long as there's no extra fees lol. I guess I can't complain about losing it

It's not 8. I've done it.....it's 6.

[Marie876 0]

Morning everyone!

Has anyone ever filled out the Birth certificate application online through the RGD website? Also...my JA birth certificate is the "old" version. Can I use that when filing the I-130 or do I need to get the new long version?

TIA,

Marie

Yes, Mindy and I both did. You get a minimum of 6 birth certificates for something like $80. They mailed them to us in about 3 weeks. Only issues we had was that it wouldn't take our zip code. We got an e-mail to call them, called them, and they were to us within a few days after. Mindy didn't have any problems.

Thanks JG! Sometimes I hesitate when doing such important transactions online, even if its a government agency. I'll go ahead and order it now so the 3 weeks can go by quicker lol

Oh and 6 should be good. :-)

Edited May 22, 2008 by Marie87

[*JG* 2]

It was fairly simple, Marie.

Now, ask me about renewing a JA passport from the US and it's a whole different ballgame.