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Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

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clairern Experienced

clairern   0

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
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A little end of the day chuckle for you all. ENJOY

Try reading through these children's Science exam answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium con tains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Edited by clairern

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Marlita Experienced

Marlita   0

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
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All dis talk of gettin rooks and kegels is making me wanna whine up pon it fi true!! Mi cyaan wait fi work it out pon him--Mi love when 'im call my name cuz di lovin soooo good! :devil::thumbs:

:wow: Tamesha. you too bad. I am planning on getting some next week. :blush:

Can't afford the hotel. I will be staying with a friend in Portmore. I have to remember to buy insect repellant for those mosquittos.

Try taking B1 vitamin pills for the mosquitos. It makes you emit a smell that mosquitos don't like. But you have to start taking it at least 2 weeks BEFORE you go and during the time that you are there. It takes a while to get into your system. This really worked for me and I get horribly bit. My bites are in clusters and swell and turn dark purple then spread and the itch runs through my blood. Man its HORRIBLE. But the B1 works and you dont have to subject yourself to insecticides on your skin which are harmful. The pill must be a single vitamin not in a multi.

PUSH!: Pray Until Something Happens!

clairern Experienced

clairern   0

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All dis talk of gettin rooks and kegels is making me wanna whine up pon it fi true!! Mi cyaan wait fi work it out pon him--Mi love when 'im call my name cuz di lovin soooo good! :devil::thumbs:

:wow: Tamesha. you too bad. I am planning on getting some next week. :blush:

Can't afford the hotel. I will be staying with a friend in Portmore. I have to remember to buy insect repellant for those mosquittos.

Try taking B1 vitamin pills for the mosquitos. It makes you emit a smell that mosquitos don't like. But you have to start taking it at least 2 weeks BEFORE you go and during the time that you are there. It takes a while to get into your system. This really worked for me and I get horribly bit. My bites are in clusters and swell and turn dark purple then spread and the itch runs through my blood. Man its HORRIBLE. But the B1 works and you dont have to subject yourself to insecticides on your skin which are harmful. The pill must be a single vitamin not in a multi.

Wish I had known this earlier, but I am going next Wednesday. Guess I have to go use the insecticide....Oh well???

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JaEnglishGirl Experienced

JaEnglishGirl   34

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Hello..... :star:

Heyyyyy!!!

How's motherhood treating you girl?

Naturalization

Son's N-400 Timeline

08/14/2020 - Sent N-400 and I-912 waiver to TX lockbox

09/18/2020 - NOA via text

06/05/2021 - Notification of biometrics scheduled

09/17/2021 - Interview - decision cannot be made

11/24/2021 - Denial letter, 30 days to appeal

12/24/2021 - Appeal sent back with I-912 waiver

12/24/2021 - Motion to terminate deportation proceedings from 2013 filed

 

clairern Experienced

clairern   0

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
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Good morning yardies. Just wanted ti share a little morning chuckle. Enjoy. :star:

Shirley & Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him.

She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. The neighbor said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.

She did this for the whole week. As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy' s little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?'

Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.'

The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?'

'That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.' 'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?' 'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace.

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always.

I know you smiled! I did.

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wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
All dis talk of gettin rooks and kegels is making me wanna whine up pon it fi true!! Mi cyaan wait fi work it out pon him--Mi love when 'im call my name cuz di lovin soooo good! :devil::thumbs:

:wow: Tamesha. you too bad. I am planning on getting some next week. :blush:

Can't afford the hotel. I will be staying with a friend in Portmore. I have to remember to buy insect repellant for those mosquittos.

Try taking B1 vitamin pills for the mosquitos. It makes you emit a smell that mosquitos don't like. But you have to start taking it at least 2 weeks BEFORE you go and during the time that you are there. It takes a while to get into your system. This really worked for me and I get horribly bit. My bites are in clusters and swell and turn dark purple then spread and the itch runs through my blood. Man its HORRIBLE. But the B1 works and you dont have to subject yourself to insecticides on your skin which are harmful. The pill must be a single vitamin not in a multi.

Marlita this is wonderful advice. On my last trip the mosquitos even attacked my face one night: forehead, cheeks and lips. I looked like a puffed up blow fish the next morning!! I can't wait to try this. I'm going to start now for my next June visit!!! Bless you Bless you :thumbs:

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

jason&Marla Explorer

jason&Marla   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted

Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

Jason & Marla Stephens

I-130 TIME-LINE

mailed to TSC: 4/3/07

NOA1: 4/11/07

Touch: 7/24/07

NOA2: 10/10/07 (e-mail)

NOA2 hardcopy: 10/16/07

I-129f TIME-LINE

Met: 2/24/06

Married: 3/15/07

Visit my wife on: 4/29/ to 5/3/07

Mailed to Chicago: 5/17/07

NOA1: 5/23/07

Transferred to CSC 5/28/07

CSC recieved (pending): 6/05/07

Touch: 6/19/07

Touch: 8/13/07 on a Sun.?

Touch: 8/14/07 Getting Excited!!!

Visit my wife on: 9/30/07 thru 10/07/07

Called USCIS on: 10/10/07

NOA2: 10/10/07 (e-mail)

NOA2 Hardcopy: 10/16/07

NVC recieved: 10/20/07

NVC mailed out: 10/31/07

Consulate recieved: 11/02/07

Pkt 3 sent out: 11/04/07 NEVER RECEIVED

Visit my wife on: 11/11/07 thru 12/02/07

Picked up Pkt3: 12/27/07 and dropped it off the same day

Medical: 02/28/08

Interview Date: 03/11/08 @ 8:00 am (got blue sheet for not having proof of filed I-130)

Follow up appt.: 04/24/08 12:30pm .... they are saying its a 2nd interview (APPROVED)

K3 Visa recieved: 05-14-08

US Entry: 05-15-08

Applied for EAD 08-20-08

EAD NOA1 08-28-08

wakeywakeup Rising Star

wakeywakeup   1

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

Amen and Congratulations!!!

Intimacy, like charity, begins at home. If we cannot be intimate with ourselves, we have no way to bring to intimacy with another person.

Intimacy with ourselves takes time. We need time for rest, time for walks, time for quiet, and time to tune into to ourselves. We cannot completely fill up our lives with activities and become intimate with ourselves. Nor can we just sit quietly indefinitely and become intimate with ourselves. We have to have the time and energy to be our lives and to do our live in order to establish and intimate relationship with ourselves.

Surprisingly, as we become intimate with ourselves, we discover our connection with others

Intimacy....In/to/me/see...

TRELAWNY PARISH Veteran

TRELAWNY PARISH   10

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted
Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

AMEN!

********************************************************************************

....when it hurts to look back and you're scared to look ahead LOOK beside you and I'll be there.....

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore... and who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

6002239865101_1_27247687.jpg (cost of the IMMIGRATION PROCESS)

tep aff a mi name

sus Mentor

sus   70

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

Congrats, Jason, that is so wonderful!!!

Fire de a Mus Mus tail, him tink a cool breeze

Jengles Proficient

Jengles   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted
Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

congrats and good luck!!!

4462482_bodyshot_175x233.gif

Me turn professional panhandler!!! but mi look good, don't??

sus Mentor

sus   70

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted

Another Monday funny:

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica .

Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple'.

The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America,' explained the man.

'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse.

We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off.

My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once'.

We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again.

Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife

quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you crazy!?'

She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.'

And from that moment... we have lived happily every after.

Fire de a Mus Mus tail, him tink a cool breeze

clairern Experienced

clairern   0

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted (edited)
Finally, Marla got her visa yesterday evening. Her flight leaves Jamaica today at 4:30 and arrives in Atlanta at 8:30 tonight. Please pray for safe travel.

I am so excited that this waiting is coming to an end. Praise the Lord!!!

Oh Jason. That is such awesome news. :dance: Safe travels to Marla and may your lives together be filled with lots of joy and happiness. (F)

Edited by clairern

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