Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[*JG* 2]

JG, I feel your pain - I have been through the gamut with friends of my own who have tried taking advantage - I gave up my apartment 2 years ago to move back home with my parents when my Dad got sick - I stayed a lot longer than I intended, because my Dad left a financial mess that took us a long time to dig out - and I was paying the mortgage for my mom. I actually have cut off a few people because I got tired of the requests for money because "I'm not paying rent and I make good money so I should have it" - They had no clue of what was going on, and the fact that I practically depleted my savings to help my Mom - even my siblings have no clue.

I think the hardest lesson that anyone has to learn is how to say no to someone you care about - I am always there to help a friend, but if I help you out once and don't get it back, don't dare come ask me again.

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

[sus 70]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

[*JG* 2]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

BINGO! That's the argument I got into with Marcel's physco aunt about his mother. Saying that she needs private medical care, not PUBLIC. I told her, well, you can pay the medical bill for private care then.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

Good evening everyone, I think we need to clear up what free medical care in JA means. The free only applied to the Dr's vist at the hospital and some clinics. All lab, xrays (ancillary services) vaccinations and medicine are still at a cost to the patient. If the patient is seeing a private Doctor at his/her office there is still a cost.

JA did not throw out the baby with the bath water. What I am trying to say is, there are still waiting periods (long lines) at all clinics. You can go to a clinic and a hospital and not be seen because of this because the waiting list is too long. ...... Or the Doctor (specialist) you need to see is not at the clinic today. I hope we all understand that there is no such thing as total free health care anywhere in the world. There is poor health care(free) or good health care ($$$$$). You pick your own prescription. Pay you might get good service, but if you want free you have wait for whatever they want to give to you. Yes, JA is trying to give it's people something and something is better than nothing.

Sorry,but if my mother was sick, I would move heaven and earth to get her some care.

Be Bless

Roxcie

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

Good evening everyone, I think we need to clear up what free medical care in JA means. The free only applied to the Dr's vist at the hospital and some clinics. All lab, xrays (ancillary services) vaccinations and medicine are still at a cost to the patient. If the patient is seeing a private Doctor at his/her office there is still a cost.

JA did not throw out the baby with the bath water. What I am trying to say is, there are still waiting periods (long lines) at all clinics. You can go to a clinic and a hospital and not be seen because of this because the waiting list is too long. ...... Or the Doctor (specialist) you need to see is not at the clinic today. I hope we all understand that there is no such thing as total free health care anywhere in the world. There is poor health care(free) or good health care ($$$$$). You pick your own prescription. Pay you might get good service, but if you want free you have wait for whatever they want to give to you. Yes, JA is trying to give it's people something and something is better than nothing.

Sorry,but if my mother was sick, I would move heaven and earth to get her some care.

Be Bless

Roxcie

Hey Roxie;

Thanks and that's my understanding also. But my fiance's aunt is getting under my skin like she has from the day that I met him. She's been in the states for 45 years and from she found out that Marcel was engaged to an older women it's been a problem to her. She views me as a money bag. That's all she see. His mom had a stoke and she's doing almost 100% better. Marcel has not asked me for any help in the care for his mom. They're managing, but his aunt is telling him that I need to be more since that's my furture mother-in-law.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

Good evening everyone, I think we need to clear up what free medical care in JA means. The free only applied to the Dr's vist at the hospital and some clinics. All lab, xrays (ancillary services) vaccinations and medicine are still at a cost to the patient. If the patient is seeing a private Doctor at his/her office there is still a cost.

JA did not throw out the baby with the bath water. What I am trying to say is, there are still waiting periods (long lines) at all clinics. You can go to a clinic and a hospital and not be seen because of this because the waiting list is too long. ...... Or the Doctor (specialist) you need to see is not at the clinic today. I hope we all understand that there is no such thing as total free health care anywhere in the world. There is poor health care(free) or good health care ($$$$$). You pick your own prescription. Pay you might get good service, but if you want free you have wait for whatever they want to give to you. Yes, JA is trying to give it's people something and something is better than nothing.

Sorry,but if my mother was sick, I would move heaven and earth to get her some care.

Be Bless

Roxcie

Hey Roxie;

Thanks and that's my understanding also. But my fiance's aunt is getting under my skin like she has from the day that I met him. She's been in the states for 45 years and from she found out that Marcel was engaged to an older women it's been a problem to her. She views me as a money bag. That's all she see. His mom had a stoke and she's doing almost 100% better. Marcel has not asked me for any help in the care for his mom. They're managing, but his aunt is telling him that I need to be more since that's my furture mother-in-law.

Tre, I tell my hubby that all money issues will be discussed between him and I in private and we will come to an agreement on how to spend our money. When it is my money, there is no discussion between us, but when it is our( means he has contributed) then we can discuss.

He then say 'no no'. Again, he can give his share of whats left after he has taken care of business at home to whomever, but remember he doesn't control my money.

Belive me I understand everyones' frazzled. Lack of MONEY can make everyone frazzled and cause heart break. Yes we all will have to make some stand as to how much we are going to be willing to put up in these family relationship.

Be Bless

Roxcie

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

It's easy to see how the money issue could quickly ruin these relationship...and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone...(although I wish I was because I know how much this sucks balls for all of us!!) I just hope that our men learn sooner rather than later who really has their best interest in mind...and that whether or not they believe it---family ain't always it!! I know my husband has a very hard time believing that his precious mother can be manipulative towards him---whenever it comes up I swear I always end up hanging up in order to save my marriage. Just this past weekend she made her mother (who is in her 80's) get up out of bed and go all the way down to his house, just show she could show him that his grandmother was hungry!! What kind of bullsh#!@ is that? He called me in near tears and ended up going out on the street looking for money to give to her. This, after he had already explained to his mother his and my situation and why we were strapped at this point in time. Do you think it mattered to her one bit? HELL NO!! RASS...

[dancehallquana 5]

It's easy to see how the money issue could quickly ruin these relationship...and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone...(although I wish I was because I know how much this sucks balls for all of us!!) I just hope that our men learn sooner rather than later who really has their best interest in mind...and that whether or not they believe it---family ain't always it!! I know my husband has a very hard time believing that his precious mother can be manipulative towards him---whenever it comes up I swear I always end up hanging up in order to save my marriage. Just this past weekend she made her mother (who is in her 80's) get up out of bed and go all the way down to his house, just show she could show him that his grandmother was hungry!! What kind of bullsh#!@ is that? He called me in near tears and ended up going out on the street looking for money to give to her. This, after he had already explained to his mother his and my situation and why we were strapped at this point in time. Do you think it mattered to her one bit? HELL NO!! RASS...

WOW.. i used to hate that RG wasn't close to his family, but listening to your stories I guess I should be grateful when it comes to what kind of family and friends he could have.

I pray for all your strength in dealing w/ these issues. A relationship has enough that causes strain without "family" causing problems. That is one tug of war that almost never accepts compromise. I used to help my family right here in the states out alot.. Even had my apt rental history messed up b4 I ever got an apt trying to allow my sister to get on her feet and she never paid the rent and was evicted. I was married and I always talked to my husband about my plans, but always hoping he would not say no, cuz I knew I was gonna do it anyway. Thank God he never said no, but I learned on my own how much I can help my loved ones.

[Jengles 0]

It's easy to see how the money issue could quickly ruin these relationship...and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone...(although I wish I was because I know how much this sucks balls for all of us!!) I just hope that our men learn sooner rather than later who really has their best interest in mind...and that whether or not they believe it---family ain't always it!! I know my husband has a very hard time believing that his precious mother can be manipulative towards him---whenever it comes up I swear I always end up hanging up in order to save my marriage. Just this past weekend she made her mother (who is in her 80's) get up out of bed and go all the way down to his house, just show she could show him that his grandmother was hungry!! What kind of bullsh#!@ is that? He called me in near tears and ended up going out on the street looking for money to give to her. This, after he had already explained to his mother his and my situation and why we were strapped at this point in time. Do you think it mattered to her one bit? HELL NO!! RASS...

#1) Your situation has nothing to do with his family, nothing at all. Tell Mom to go and apply for housekeeping at a hotel...what do they want him to do, rob and steal??? and they shouldn't even be thinking like that, they were surving for years on whatever he could provide and yes times are hard now, but they will survive.

#2) speechless at her making Granny get out the bed and walk, she nuh have no neighbor or other family she can ask for help.

I really hate to see injustice.

When I was out of school and broke i used to go and boil cornmeal porridge and eat, she is bloody out of order.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

all mi can tell oonuh watch out fi dem sweet precious mother-in law dere...oonuh kn ow my views pon dat aready

[kishmar 0]

It hurts me to see him slowly learning this lesson.

I feel your pain, and I know how hard it is to sit by and watch him go through something that hurts.

I used to sit back and be quiet. Lately, I've spoken up more and more. I can't let him be hurt anymore.

He called his mom Sunday. She said she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. I said why doesn't she go? He said, she says she has no money. I said, um.....free medical care in JA since April 1st. Andre said why would she say that then? Um....cause she thinks we don't know. Neverending. You can't even call your mom on Mother's day.........

Good evening everyone, I think we need to clear up what free medical care in JA means. The free only applied to the Dr's vist at the hospital and some clinics. All lab, xrays (ancillary services) vaccinations and medicine are still at a cost to the patient. If the patient is seeing a private Doctor at his/her office there is still a cost.

JA did not throw out the baby with the bath water. What I am trying to say is, there are still waiting periods (long lines) at all clinics. You can go to a clinic and a hospital and not be seen because of this because the waiting list is too long. ...... Or the Doctor (specialist) you need to see is not at the clinic today. I hope we all understand that there is no such thing as total free health care anywhere in the world. There is poor health care(free) or good health care ($$$$$). You pick your own prescription. Pay you might get good service, but if you want free you have wait for whatever they want to give to you. Yes, JA is trying to give it's people something and something is better than nothing.

Sorry,but if my mother was sick, I would move heaven and earth to get her some care.

Be Bless

Roxcie

Thank you so very much Roxcie for giving my fellow "Jamaicans" the real understanding behind this free medical thing here in Jamaica.

I just feel moved at times of how people seem to find all thats wrong or going wrong in Jamaica but hardly ever stop to give honor where honor is due. I must say that as a Jamaican im am proud of the step that the Jamaican government has taken to "try" and assist those of us who cannot afford to visit a private doctor because of financial reasons. (and might i add the big US of A is yet to put some level of normalcy to its medical care system). Think what you may about the medical care system in the Jamaica, but the government here tries very hard with the limited resources that it has.

I just wish and pray for the day when Jamaicans who have left here and supposedly goes to the where the "grass is greener" will not only see what is wrong with this beautiful country but will also spend some time to see the vast improvements that have also taken place here.

You all talk about crime about in Jamaica as if Jamaica is the only place that crime exists?????? I watch the news every evening and there is not ONE evening where i dont see someone being murdered senselessly in the great America.

Give honor where honor is, Jamaica like everywhere else in the world has its fare share of problems and no one government or small group of people can fix it.

Thank you.

Respectfully yours,

Jamaican Citizen

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

It's easy to see how the money issue could quickly ruin these relationship...and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone...(although I wish I was because I know how much this sucks balls for all of us!!) I just hope that our men learn sooner rather than later who really has their best interest in mind...and that whether or not they believe it---family ain't always it!! I know my husband has a very hard time believing that his precious mother can be manipulative towards him---whenever it comes up I swear I always end up hanging up in order to save my marriage. Just this past weekend she made her mother (who is in her 80's) get up out of bed and go all the way down to his house, just show she could show him that his grandmother was hungry!! What kind of bullsh#!@ is that? He called me in near tears and ended up going out on the street looking for money to give to her. This, after he had already explained to his mother his and my situation and why we were strapped at this point in time. Do you think it mattered to her one bit? HELL NO!! RASS...

#1) Your situation has nothing to do with his family, nothing at all. Tell Mom to go and apply for housekeeping at a hotel...what do they want him to do, rob and steal??? and they shouldn't even be thinking like that, they were surving for years on whatever he could provide and yes times are hard now, but they will survive.

#2) speechless at her making Granny get out the bed and walk, she nuh have no neighbor or other family she can ask for help. I really hate to see injustice.

When I was out of school and broke i used to go and boil cornmeal porridge and eat, she is bloody out of order.

I was PISSED about granny too...I mean, I really don't understand why his mother can't work...he said it's because she has to look after his grandmother, but let me tell you, his grandmother can get around that house just fine, and all she really wants to do anyway is sit on her porch and smoke cigarettes or watch tv...even if she worked part-time, SOMETHING is better than NOTHING! And she's always always always asking him for money to go see somebody in Mo'Bay or to do this or that or go here or there to buy something nice for herself... On top of that she has a sister who lives AROUND THE CORNER from her (who by the way is a nurse), and she has several brothers in JA and sisters in brothers farrin...so there is absolutely NO reason why she has to be completely dependent on him! I get sooooo pissed that she makes him feel like sh## all of the time when he does so much for her...pays her light bills, groceries, water, etc...Mi aget vex when mi tink bout di ####### dat goes on inna family

[brownnskinn 0]

It's easy to see how the money issue could quickly ruin these relationship...and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone...(although I wish I was because I know how much this sucks balls for all of us!!) I just hope that our men learn sooner rather than later who really has their best interest in mind...and that whether or not they believe it---family ain't always it!! I know my husband has a very hard time believing that his precious mother can be manipulative towards him---whenever it comes up I swear I always end up hanging up in order to save my marriage. Just this past weekend she made her mother (who is in her 80's) get up out of bed and go all the way down to his house, just show she could show him that his grandmother was hungry!! What kind of bullsh#!@ is that? He called me in near tears and ended up going out on the street looking for money to give to her. This, after he had already explained to his mother his and my situation and why we were strapped at this point in time. Do you think it mattered to her one bit? HELL NO!! RASS...

Very sad situation. Ditto. We have the family money owes as well. My hubby becomes very depressed over his family's situation as well. They have to realize he can only do so much. What we can contribute is never enough. Or they fight over what money we do send. I keep asking why do you let this "family" who didn't think enough of you to help feed you and put clothing on you back, in fact gave you away; have so much control over you and your happiness? It's clear and simple to me. Send what you can. Call seh hello, wish them the best, but you owe them nothing. Brothers and sister not a problem. He has no sympathy for them. He tells them to get out an hustle and find work like he did, but his parents, esp his mother her comments hurt him badly. Your hubby cannot sacrifice his health for their happiness. I cannot believe these women call themselves.."mothers" It is really sad.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I can't stand this board anymore...people can't say what they feel or their personal opinions w/o ppl jumping down their throats...everything yuh seh sumpting u affi a write disclaimer...like who gives a dyam..it is not that serious nuh time.

Edited May 14, 2008 by Hotlegz