Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[sus 70]

Afternoon yaardies...I was hoping that you all could just send up some prayers for my hubby...he is having such a rough time financially right now...there are so many things we have going on and he's being stretched thin (whatever that means...since he didn't have much to stretch with in the beginning!) As many of your SO's probably are, he is not only supporting himself, but he is also supporting his mother, grandmother, and 2 nephews (please don't get me started on why his brother won't support his OWN children but can somehow find the means to go back and forth to the Bahamas for months at a time ) Anyway, he was/is doing the best he could from week to week, but now with the increase in taxi fare, it's going to cost an extra $40/US per week for him to get back and forth to work He works in Runaway Bay and lives in St. Ann's Bay...I was thinking of getting him a bike so he could bike to work sometimes, but he's afraid of riding on the roads with all the crazy drivers...I don't know what to do at this point...any ideas? He almost refuses to accept any monetary assistance from me WHATSOEVER, so I don't really push the issue...unless he brings it up....which is usually too late. Quick story: One time, I hadn't heard from him in a week, and of course I was frantic---well, I had gotten a call from his aunt who's a nurse who told me that he had been in the HOSPITAL hooked up to IV's because he hadn't eaten in almost 2 weeks!!! This man DAMN NEAR DIED because of his pride---he didn't want to ask for any help!! After that incident we had a LONG talk about the consequences of pride and the fact that sometimes, we all need somebody at some point. I appreciate the fact that he doesn't ask...I've never had that problem--but come on now---IV's??? I love him so much, and his will, determination, strength, I admire so much, but I also know that he's being pushed to a breaking point...it seems like there's just one thing after another all of the time, and a man can only take so much....Thanks for letting me vent.....

Tamisha

Tamisha,

I feel your pain - I am not even going to get into the family part - thankfully, we don't have to deal with that so far - but I definitely see it from some of the friends. DJ is the same way, and has had a really hard time lately, starting with his car getting stolen in February - he's so proud and won't ask me for a thing - it was just a chain reaction of events that kept getting worse. It's hard to sit here and watch someone you love go through something so hard, and to feel so helpless. Finally, it's like we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and things are turning back towards the positive.

When things got really bad, I just did it - I purchased groceries online, added credit to his phone, things that I could do from here to make sure he was eating and could call me - He cussed at me for doing it, but he also realized that if we have a life together, then we need to help each other through the hard times. I know how proud he is, and I know he would never ask me for anything - But sometimes you have to put your pride aside and let someone help you. We also had A LOT of lengthy phone conversations about it - usually ending in "You nuh easy" lol -

Stay strong, and just have faith - it will get better.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Afternoon yaardies...I was hoping that you all could just send up some prayers for my hubby...he is having such a rough time financially right now...there are so many things we have going on and he's being stretched thin (whatever that means...since he didn't have much to stretch with in the beginning!) As many of your SO's probably are, he is not only supporting himself, but he is also supporting his mother, grandmother, and 2 nephews (please don't get me started on why his brother won't support his OWN children but can somehow find the means to go back and forth to the Bahamas for months at a time ) Anyway, he was/is doing the best he could from week to week, but now with the increase in taxi fare, it's going to cost an extra $40/US per week for him to get back and forth to work He works in Runaway Bay and lives in St. Ann's Bay...I was thinking of getting him a bike so he could bike to work sometimes, but he's afraid of riding on the roads with all the crazy drivers...I don't know what to do at this point...any ideas? He almost refuses to accept any monetary assistance from me WHATSOEVER, so I don't really push the issue...unless he brings it up....which is usually too late. Quick story: One time, I hadn't heard from him in a week, and of course I was frantic---well, I had gotten a call from his aunt who's a nurse who told me that he had been in the HOSPITAL hooked up to IV's because he hadn't eaten in almost 2 weeks!!! This man DAMN NEAR DIED because of his pride---he didn't want to ask for any help!! After that incident we had a LONG talk about the consequences of pride and the fact that sometimes, we all need somebody at some point. I appreciate the fact that he doesn't ask...I've never had that problem--but come on now---IV's??? I love him so much, and his will, determination, strength, I admire so much, but I also know that he's being pushed to a breaking point...it seems like there's just one thing after another all of the time, and a man can only take so much....Thanks for letting me vent.....

Tamisha

Tamisha,

I feel your pain - I am not even going to get into the family part - thankfully, we don't have to deal with that so far - but I definitely see it from some of the friends. DJ is the same way, and has had a really hard time lately, starting with his car getting stolen in February - he's so proud and won't ask me for a thing - it was just a chain reaction of events that kept getting worse. It's hard to sit here and watch someone you love go through something so hard, and to feel so helpless. Finally, it's like we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and things are turning back towards the positive.

When things got really bad, I just did it - I purchased groceries online, added credit to his phone, things that I could do from here to make sure he was eating and could call me - He cussed at me for doing it, but he also realized that if we have a life together, then we need to help each other through the hard times. I know how proud he is, and I know he would never ask me for anything - But sometimes you have to put your pride aside and let someone help you. We also had A LOT of lengthy phone conversations about it - usually ending in "You nuh easy" lol -

Stay strong, and just have faith - it will get better.

Hey Sus --

That's Marcel's favorite line. My sis and her husband going through the same thing Mrs. P; her hubby always sending money to his country and he sneaks and does it. The last time he flooded the tiolet because he tried to FLUSH the Western Union receipt (I kid you not); before she went into the hospital she found another Western Union receipt hidden under the microwave for $1,000. You can't be sending that much money home and ya'll have a baby on the way. It's a constant battle.

[*JG* 2]

OK....I can't hold it in anymore. Plus, you girls always help me through it all.

My husband used to help anyone who asked in Jamaica. It was a give and take where his family and friends would ask of him and then give when they could. Since he came to the US, they have asked and asked and asked and no one has given a damn thing. In fact, they are to the point where they will ONLY call if they need something. Not one of them asks how he is doing. Not one of them bothered to call him on his birthday last year. Not one of them cares how he gets what they want or if Andre has a sob story of his own. It is sickening and it is sad. My husband is hurt day after day after day from these actions. As of late, every time I hear him talking to any of his friends from JA who have immigrated to the US, they go on and on about this very subject. I have made absolutely no bones about that fact that we have spent the last 3 years pretty much in financial devestation. It's been a really long, rough climb out of that hole and we've struggled. Just about a few weeks ago, we saw the light at the end of that tunnel and are still making our baby steps towards it. Every once in a while we see some sort of windfall where we can buy something nice (like our bed).

I told you all about the wiring cash to Andre to immediately wire to JA. I told you all about shipping Andre electronics that he then ships to JA. Both of these foolish plans were denied due to the unsavory nature of what this appears to be. This week, it is wiring money from (stolen?) credit cards to Andre and him wiring the cash to JA. Last night, it was how about wiring money from (stolen?) credit cards to a Paypal account in Andre's name and him wiring the money to JA. Of course, he gets to keep some sort of cut of all these schemes. Now, you all might think saying no thank you to these plans might be enough. Apparently not. You might think saying are you mad, I'm not going to prison for you might be enough. Apparently not. You might think not answering their calls and any with unknown on caller ID might be enough. Apparently not. You might never expect your very family to get involved in calling you about this. Apparently so. It is maddening. You don't know who to talk to on the phone. You don't know who to trust. You hear all kinds of ####### about how you forgot where you came from. What----the----fcku----ever!!!!

So, like I said, I am not the person to be agreeing with any Jamaican man wanting to help out his family. No matter how much we give and give and give, they want more and more and more. It is neverending. And, it's a nightmare.

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

I hope and pray none of you ever get to this point. It's not a fun place to be.

Since we on this topic let me give ya'll a little story;

My dad been here a long time and always worked his A$$ off. He's one of 14 siblings and the only one with young kids. Almost all of his siblings were living here in the states and doing very well. Every damn rahtid time something happened they call my dad. If the roof leaking, they call my dad, somebody sick, they call my dad, kids need clothing or school they call my dad. Now, the siblings that were here there kids were all grown. My dad had not even been in the states a month and he was getting letters asking for fridge, tv, mattress, stove and ANY DAMN THING YOU COULD FIT INTO A BARRELL. This almost caused my parents to split up many, many times. His mom was the main person. From the time that I turned 12 they could not call anymore. You see, my mom side of the family knew BETTER, because my mom didn't play with them and well, I have my mom tyrant side. So, when my dad's side of the family would call and I would answer the phone they would get a mouth full and I would say, daddy I love you, but your family is going to drive us in the poor house. This went on until I was about 18. AND THE WERE CALLING COLLECT.......

My son called me last week and said he needed the $10 I owed him. I said is that all you called for? Yes, he said. I said don't you ever call me again just to ask for money or I will hang up on you and not answer the phone again. I'm not playing either.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

[*JG* 2]

I just dropped a rootbeer barrel on the floor. My last one and I wanted it so bad...................Does the 3 second rule still apply?

[Jengles 0]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

good for him, in our family all the siblings would put together and buy whateve they needed for the grandparent.

JG, sounds like their are some real scam artists, why are they behaving like that, did these people used to scam in j.a. too? and why are they trying to constantly pull him into their schemes?

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I just dropped a rootbeer barrel on the floor. My last one and I wanted it so bad...................Does the 3 second rule still apply?

Nooooooooooooooo

[*JG* 2]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

He won't even let me talk to them, Tre. Cause I say the same damn thing. They really don't want me talking to them.

I just dropped a rootbeer barrel on the floor. My last one and I wanted it so bad...................Does the 3 second rule still apply?

Nooooooooooooooo

Well..........

[sus 70]

I just dropped a rootbeer barrel on the floor. My last one and I wanted it so bad...................Does the 3 second rule still apply?

Nooooooooooooooo

Yes it does

[Jengles 0]

I just dropped a rootbeer barrel on the floor. My last one and I wanted it so bad...................Does the 3 second rule still apply?

Nooooooooooooooo

ok!

I have tears in my eyes...say god made dirt and dirt don't hurt...

[sus 70]

JG, I feel your pain - I have been through the gamut with friends of my own who have tried taking advantage - I gave up my apartment 2 years ago to move back home with my parents when my Dad got sick - I stayed a lot longer than I intended, because my Dad left a financial mess that took us a long time to dig out - and I was paying the mortgage for my mom. I actually have cut off a few people because I got tired of the requests for money because "I'm not paying rent and I make good money so I should have it" - They had no clue of what was going on, and the fact that I practically depleted my savings to help my Mom - even my siblings have no clue.

I think the hardest lesson that anyone has to learn is how to say no to someone you care about - I am always there to help a friend, but if I help you out once and don't get it back, don't dare come ask me again.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

good for him, in our family all the siblings would put together and buy whateve they needed for the grandparent.

JG, sounds like their are some real scam artists, why are they behaving like that, did these people used to scam in j.a. too? and why are they trying to constantly pull him into their schemes?

Jengs;

A no im one...it's happening elsewhere. My friends are all going through the same thing.

[*JG* 2]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

good for him, in our family all the siblings would put together and buy whateve they needed for the grandparent.

JG, sounds like their are some real scam artists, why are they behaving like that, did these people used to scam in j.a. too? and why are they trying to constantly pull him into their schemes?

Most of these particular people I am referring to did scheme a lot in JA. Always some tourist or friend in their schemes. Ironically, Mindy's husband, Roy, and I know some of the same people because of one particular situation. Small world...................Some of these people, I have never met as they are in the Miami, Canada, England, and Germany.

They want to involve him cause he is a nice guy who would do anything he could for you. Also, they seem to think if they just continue to call and ask the same thing over and over again, he will tire of saying no, and just give in. Plus, you know, we MUST have that money tree sprouting in the back yard by now. Andre keeps saying he wishes every single Jamaican could come to the US and work for a while just to see how difficult things are here and how hard he works for what little he has.

[*JG* 2]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

good for him, in our family all the siblings would put together and buy whateve they needed for the grandparent.

JG, sounds like their are some real scam artists, why are they behaving like that, did these people used to scam in j.a. too? and why are they trying to constantly pull him into their schemes?

Jengs;

A no im one...it's happening elsewhere. My friends are all going through the same thing.

If you really sit back and think about it, they are evil genuis'. They think of things I would never think of. If only they put that scheming to good use!!!!!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

My husband is to the point where he doesn't want a thing to do with anyone Jamaican or anything Jamaican. He hasn't forgetten where he came from........he is just tired of all the BS associated with where he came from. So, the next time I hear someone anywhere use the term forgot where they came from, I want everyone to truly think about what may have driven them to that very place. I feel so sorry for him.

JG --

Tell him don't worry about that. That is what my father did. It's been 30 years now and his family and friends have the UPMOST respect for him. He shutdown and lackdown everyone...even his mother. Because it was going to cost him his wife and family. And for those M #)(*$$(* krs... that keep calling...girl I wish you could foward them to my cell number. I would be more than happy to talk to them.

good for him, in our family all the siblings would put together and buy whateve they needed for the grandparent.

JG, sounds like their are some real scam artists, why are they behaving like that, did these people used to scam in j.a. too? and why are they trying to constantly pull him into their schemes?

Most of these particular people I am referring to did scheme a lot in JA. Always some tourist or friend in their schemes. Ironically, Mindy's husband, Roy, and I know some of the same people because of one particular situation. Small world...................Some of these people, I have never met as they are in the Miami, Canada, England, and Germany.

They want to involve him cause he is a nice guy who would do anything he could for you. Also, they seem to think if they just continue to call and ask the same thing over and over again, he will tire of saying no, and just give in. Plus, you know, we MUST have that money tree sprouting in the back yard by now. Andre keeps saying he wishes every single Jamaican could come to the US and work for a while just to see how difficult things are here and how hard he works for what little he has.

JG --

That is the first thing that comes out of my mouth when I hear people say "I CAN'T WAIT TO COME TO AMERICA"