Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[Marlita 0]

OK, my question for the day is suppose you had a friend who was in a relationship and for whatever reason, you thought the man was using her.

You have no hard evidence, but you just have STRONG misgivings.

DO you tell her?

Or since you have no hard facts, do you just leave it alone???

If a friend told you that she thought your SO was using you, but had no evidence, how would you react?

Would you prefer she said nothing without hard facts to back it up?

I'd tell em fi keep dem dutty mout close!! This is the stuff that I think so many of us on the yardie thread have issues with, friends, family cowokers, joe schmoe on the street trying fi tell yuh that yuh man no good cause they just got a "hunch", from what they hear about "jamaican men". If its not hard facts, then why stir the pot in someones relationship, that does nothing but cause extra stress in the relationship and will probably make your friendship alot more distant.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

oh yea a dis mi did waan seh....

What if ur husband doesn't show signs of jealousy is this good or bad thing ?

I think i would feel a little good if my husband shows some jealousy sometimes..not crazu checkin phones and stuff like that but things that makes a girl smile

I think it is a good thing. I've known some people in my life who were crazy jealous and it bugged me to no end.

I think it all boils down to trusting the other person.

JG,

my husband is like that he thinks it's a great thing..mi tell him he wouldn't know if i ever cheated on him

[brownnskinn 0]

I can't see myself keeping a friend around who cheats on her hubby. I'd be busy everytime she called me.

when the shoe is on ur foot it's quite a dif situation. u'll be surprised...she's ur friend b4 he is ur friend..plus man do it all di blasted time...it no right but a so

Honestly, I don't think she would have ever got to that "friend" status with me, If she was that type. Now if she was already my "friend" cause like I said shyt happens, then u probaby right, but I'd still be busy when she call me....

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Gill check ur PM

I can't see myself keeping a friend around who cheats on her hubby. I'd be busy everytime she called me.

when the shoe is on ur foot it's quite a dif situation. u'll be surprised...she's ur friend b4 he is ur friend..plus man do it all di blasted time...it no right but a so

Honestly, I don't think she would have ever got to that "friend" status with me, If she was that type. Now if she was already my "friend" cause like I said shyt happens, then u probaby right, but I'd still be busy when she call me....

....

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

English u waant mi forward one pic of use cause mi waan know u betta no wait til him lef mi and den u tell mi..."girl, i had a feeling"

lol....mi did look pan unu pic and tink unu match

[Marlita 0]

OK, my question for the day is suppose you had a friend who was in a relationship and for whatever reason, you thought the man was using her.

You have no hard evidence, but you just have STRONG misgivings.

DO you tell her?

Or since you have no hard facts, do you just leave it alone???

If a friend told you that she thought your SO was using you, but had no evidence, how would you react?

Would you prefer she said nothing without hard facts to back it up?

I would tel her, but it's all about the timing. don't tell her when they are all lovey dovey, wait until she complaining about something he did and then say something like. yeah i notice he always does such and such and keept it moving. she may not agree with you are say anything at all, but she will start thinking about it.

But this never works. No woman is gonna listen to another woman tell her about her man....we are just too stubborn that way. I say yall all adults deal wit yuh own problems when dem arise. unless she ASK you something, then say nothing until you have HARD evidence that something bad is happening.

[*JG* 2]

oh yea a dis mi did waan seh....

What if ur husband doesn't show signs of jealousy is this good or bad thing ?

I think i would feel a little good if my husband shows some jealousy sometimes..not crazu checkin phones and stuff like that but things that makes a girl smile

I think it is a good thing. I've known some people in my life who were crazy jealous and it bugged me to no end.

I think it all boils down to trusting the other person.

JG,

my husband is like that he thinks it's a great thing..mi tell him he wouldn't know if i ever cheated on him

It's so much better then the alternative, Kimmy. Kashi is a wise man.

My husband is like that too. And, I love it.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

English u waant mi forward one pic of use cause mi waan know u betta no wait til him lef mi and den u tell mi..."girl, i had a feeling"

lol....mi did look pan unu pic and tink unu match

yea ..tank God !

[brownnskinn 0]

oh yea a dis mi did waan seh....

What if ur husband doesn't show signs of jealousy is this good or bad thing ?

I think i would feel a little good if my husband shows some jealousy sometimes..not crazu checkin phones and stuff like that but things that makes a girl smile

Good question, I don't know. Yep it feels good. If I'm lookin good he'll seh ah wha a boyfriend u a go look , but I'm thinkin not, I know when I'm feeling a bit jealous, mosly when I'm insecure, and not feeling good about myself and I know thats not a good thing. I'm guessin it shouldn't be a good thing for him either, but who's perfect?

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

YES!!!!! MI waan fi hear deh answer tuh dis...cause all hell is about to set loose inna fi mi family when dem here wat mi a guh duh! IT'S GOT 'STELLA' ALL OVER IT.... ...But only Ken and I know it's NOT!!

Bless,Gill

All now mi a wait fi answer on what to do, mi nuh get it yet!!!

anyway, you haven't told your family about Ken yet?? are they invited to the wedding??

Jengy,

I told my 'supportive' family members and my father. Aunts, Uncles...everyone one else jus a guh haffi find thorugh my family's gossip network! They will all talk ish amongst each other...but not to my face! I tried to tell the 'head' of deh gossip tree last night( so she could kick hoff deh new 'NEWS')...but as soon as she hear seh mi a guh Kingston...she start wan bag ah fussin'! Mi neva even git round fi tell har WHY mi a guh Kingston!

It's exhausting...I told 2 more family members this week...both of them immediately said the sane thing..."Yuh sure hit not Green cyard em a look!" On one hand I know I have matured alot ...cause deh old Gill wouldda cuss dem han keep moving. I see it as them looking out for me...which is sweet! But I'm a grown-a$$ ooman...Good or bad is my decision fi mek!

Yup their all coming to the wedding! It'll be VERY INTERESTING!! :lol:

Bless,

Gill

Gill,

I'm right behind you. Remember my family already start pon mi back in September in Jamaica. Bout mi look like im madah...damn brite. Mi tell dem seh...see FLAT BRIDGE deh...go chuck aff a it. I think my mom will give me the hardest time, but like you seh...u a big ooman.

[Marlita 0]

I have to admit, just by looking at photos even in this thread, I often have a 'notion'.

So far, some have already broken up, there is one I think is DEFINITELY gone as he gets his green card and about 3 other 'hmmms'.....

But the way I look at it, who the hell I am to look at a photo and tell you that he's out for what he can get?

With my friends, I tell them ONCE and leave it.

They are grown, if they can't hear, they will feel.

My good good friend constantly cheats on her husband, she loves him but she says she can't help it.

So I just keep out of it, and ask her to keep me out of it.

Lied for her once when she put me on the spot, but NEVER again.....

Woo! well tell me! Cause if me ah find dis ere out mi ah box im dung!!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

English u waant mi forward one pic of use cause mi waan know u betta no wait til him lef mi and den u tell mi..."girl, i had a feeling"

lol....mi did look pan unu pic and tink unu match

yea ..tank God !

How u a do Kimmy?

[brownnskinn 0]

oh yea a dis mi did waan seh....

What if ur husband doesn't show signs of jealousy is this good or bad thing ?

I think i would feel a little good if my husband shows some jealousy sometimes..not crazu checkin phones and stuff like that but things that makes a girl smile

I think it is a good thing. I've known some people in my life who were crazy jealous and it bugged me to no end.

I think it all boils down to trusting the other person.

JG,

my husband is like that he thinks it's a great thing..mi tell him he wouldn't know if i ever cheated on him

I would feel extra if I cheated...I would tell on myself... that what I tell him, You think I've gone thought all the stuff to look at you everyday an den go out and get the next man...what sense dose that make.

Edited March 6, 2008 by brownnskinn

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Lawny mi deh yah..mi find out Horlicks no wuk nor does turkey hot dogs mi head deh yah kill mi same way...wah u deh pon..afta u no look like him modda inna di pic..ppl out a order eein man

[Marlita 0]

Good Morning

Some people just complain a lot so they have something to talk about.

Good point B. Also about the talking EVERYDAY. You both might need a break between so that when you do talk..youknow it's more quality vs quanty.

sometimes j.a. men talk rough and have no idea how they are coming accross.

Those are all very good points. Marlita I hope you can talk to Evan and let him know how much it is stressing you. A and I had to cut down on our talking as well when we were separate. We just wasted so much money arguing about God knows what when really all we were was frustrated not to be together. Talk to him and let him know exactly what you told us. Hope it gets better.

Thanks for all the wonderful birthday wishes Thanks for the cake Gilly

You know I really do think it is seperation frustration on his part. he is not dealing with it at all. he told me that sometimes he misses and needs me so much and that he wonders if i feel the same, and when i don't send him little affectionate notes and stuff he starts to feel depressed. I realize that I get so much support from you ladies and VJ and I kind of know whats going on in the process and he doesnt have that. He is kinda in limbo, not truly understanding why it takes so long even if I try to explain it to him. I do think that even though he wants more time, we need to take a break an talk a bit less. Cause I start to get frustrated and I'm usually really easy going, he's always been a bit more anxious with things. Thanks so much for all your supprt ladies.. love yuh!