Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[Islandwoman 0]

I tried acupunture and now I don't sound like Barry White anymore.

Serious?!?

I snorted Diet Coke out of my nose on that comment. But then, I usually do when you write, Tre.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the constant comic relief. You make my day all the time!

Where exactly do the chiropractors and acupuncturists work on you to relieve sinus problems?

My chiro cracks my neck. Also gives me this bear hug kind of move that pops every verbrate in my spine. Was awkard at first but he is a handsome fellow so I look forward to it now!!!

[Islandwoman 0]

Mindy is having a hell of a time with renewing Roy's passport. They have sent 2 different sets of pictures in via NY consulate and both have been returned from JA as not the right pictures......Walgreens & Wal-Mart. The word is they have to go to The Picture People and have them make high resolution pictures. Something about JA and the high rate of fraud.

Anyhow, to hear her tell it, is giving me a headache today. She's been trying to renew for the last 2 months.

We need to renew Andre's by the end of the year. Now, I'm worried.

DYAM DYAM DYAM!!! Ken's Passport expires in January 09!!!!! Great...someting else fi look forward too!!!!

All I can do is... :lol:

Bless, Gill

Well, Mindy is doing it now. Once I learn what to avoid from her mistakes, hopefully, I'll have a smoother time later this year.....maybe summer. By the time you send for Ken's, we should be experts on what NOT to do.

I don't remember it being difficult other than the photos - but it does take some time to bounce it back and forth. If you can do it in JA, definitely do it - alot cheaper as well.

I helped Anthony's father do the paperwork to renew his passport 2 years ago and he drove all over the place trying to get just the right photo. The Picture People are the only ones they would accept, even though I couldn't tell the difference between their's and Sears! Just hit them first - don't waste your time with anyone else.

I think it is some sort of conspiracy.

If I remember it had something to do with digital cameras giving a shadow around the face.......If you can find a photographer that still using the flim you should be okay.

[sus 70]

That's the thing JENGS. It never made my stomach hurt or anything. You just go to the bathroom almost immediately or within the hour. She says a lot of young girls abuse it, because it keeps them thin. But it's only suppose to be used for 30 days or less. It's to jump start your weight loss, but some people stay on it for months. She CLAIMS it does not damage the body and she's used it for years and been recommending it for years.

DJ tried to give me some type of tea that cleans out your system - It was so bitter and nasty, I tasted one sip and told him No way - I am lactose intolerant and allergic to shrimp and lobster - if I am going to spend an extended period in the bathroom, I am going to enjoy a good meal of seafood and ice cream first!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I tried acupunture and now I don't sound like Barry White anymore.

Serious?!?

I snorted Diet Coke out of my nose on that comment. But then, I usually do when you write, Tre.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the constant comic relief. You make my day all the time!

Where exactly do the chiropractors and acupuncturists work on you to relieve sinus problems?

My chiro cracks my neck. Also gives me this bear hug kind of move that pops every verbrate in my spine. Was awkard at first but he is a handsome fellow so I look forward to it now!!!

Girl you wrong for that but hey...the dentist that pulled my back tooth a few years ago was so DAMN FINE and smelled so GOOD! I didn't even know when he pulled out my tooth. He had beautiful GREEN eyes...lord he was fine.

[*JG* 2]

CANNIBAL RESTAURANT

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over

the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why

such a price difference for the Politician?'

The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one?

They're so full of ####, it takes all morning.

Poem to MOM

My son came home from school one day,

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough,

To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,

that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today,

The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,

Don't have to cut my hair

No one can tell me what to think,

Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,

And regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head,

And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,

And pierce my tongue & nose.

I can read & watch just what I like,

Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,

I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges,

With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,

My body's only for my use,

Not for your hugs and kisses,

that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,

Like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than m ind control,

And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,

So you can't influence me,

Or I'll call Children's Services Division,

Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was

To toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson

Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,

I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face,

he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping

At the local Goodwill Store..

I told him, 'Pick out all you want,

there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D ..

Who said they didn't care

If I bought you K-Mart shoes

Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment

To take your driver's test.

The C.S.D. Is unconcerned

So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,

Or pick up stuff to munch.

And tomorrow you can start to l earn

To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,

And wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions,

A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,

To watch on my VCR?'

'Sorry, but I sold your TV,

For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,

You'll take the couch instead.

The C .S.D. Requires

Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,

I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get,

Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,

Dirt-bike & roller blades.

Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',

It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,

Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out,

Instead of C.S.D..?'

[Islandwoman 0]

I tried acupunture and now I don't sound like Barry White anymore.

Serious?!?

Yes girl. That was 11 years ago. My voice was VERY VERY deep. Men thought it was sexy, but I hated it. So, I went to this Chinese doctor whose wife specialized in acupunture and that was it. My voice is still a little deep, but nothing like before and I was able to breathe better and no more sinus infections. I think I spent $125 for the treatments.

Ur kidding, right??? Where did they put the needles?

I think you should do next week's prayer on video and post it to you tube so we can all hear your sexy voice!!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I tried acupunture and now I don't sound like Barry White anymore.

Serious?!?

Yes girl. That was 11 years ago. My voice was VERY VERY deep. Men thought it was sexy, but I hated it. So, I went to this Chinese doctor whose wife specialized in acupunture and that was it. My voice is still a little deep, but nothing like before and I was able to breathe better and no more sinus infections. I think I spent $125 for the treatments.

Ur kidding, right??? Where did they put the needles?

I think you should do next week's prayer on video and post it to you tube so we can all hear your sexy voice!!

You really want me to FRIGHTEN people

[Islandwoman 0]

CANNIBAL RESTAURANT

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over

the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why

such a price difference for the Politician?'

The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one?

They're so full of ####, it takes all morning.

Poem to MOM

My son came home from school one day,

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough,

To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,

that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today,

The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,

Don't have to cut my hair

No one can tell me what to think,

Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,

And regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head,

And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,

And pierce my tongue & nose.

I can read & watch just what I like,

Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,

I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges,

With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,

My body's only for my use,

Not for your hugs and kisses,

that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,

Like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than m ind control,

And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,

So you can't influence me,

Or I'll call Children's Services Division,

Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was

To toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson

Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,

I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face,

he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping

At the local Goodwill Store..

I told him, 'Pick out all you want,

there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D ..

Who said they didn't care

If I bought you K-Mart shoes

Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment

To take your driver's test.

The C.S.D. Is unconcerned

So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,

Or pick up stuff to munch.

And tomorrow you can start to l earn

To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,

And wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions,

A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,

To watch on my VCR?'

'Sorry, but I sold your TV,

For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,

You'll take the couch instead.

The C .S.D. Requires

Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,

I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get,

Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,

Dirt-bike & roller blades.

Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',

It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,

Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out,

Instead of C.S.D..?'

I love it JG!! Gotta print that one. My son's favorite line right now is "it's a free country......."

[brownnskinn 0]

Good Morning Everyone!!

Lawny, where u at?? Feeling better??

Mi dehyah...my mom best friend of 46 years died. She went to the hospital complaining of a head ache and she coded and was placed on a ventilator. Nothing was wrong with her. Not a thing. I spoke to her for the last 3 days, becuase I was putting a trip together for her and some of her friends. JENGS I know you've warned me about STRESS and I'm telling you my mom and I think that she was so stressed out that her body couldn't take the emotional load anymore. We picked up her family at the airport and we all stood there when they turned off the machine.

Let me tell you...when this woman would pray (she's part of my mom's prayer circle) which they've had for 15 years. When she prays, IT CAN MOVE MOUNTAIN. If her words don't move you, it will make you jump up to your feet. I use to joke with her and tell her we didn't want her to bless the food becaue we would all starve to death by the time she finish her prayer. You could feel the STRENGTH in her words when she would say a prayer.

You know sometimes it just better to let things go, even though it may hurt like hell, we can't solve all problems and not everything can be worked out. My heart goes out to her family and your mother.

Thanks girl. And I agree. I took me years to learn to let things go. As my grandmother would say, Let go and Let God.

true dat, but sometimes we tink God is taking too long and he needs a little help.

Agreed. Sorry for your loss.

[brownnskinn 0]

Have a great day Sunny

I agree with them staying at home does usually cause a problem..they get bored...especially if they worked all their lives. I don't like to speak personally here either cause ppl like to judge and thats why i usually dopn't participate in such topics. but adjustment is a tough time and shouldn't be taken lightly

I agree with every single word of this post

Kimmy --

WAH MEK!...mi luv it when u chat wah u wah seh...mi luv it when everi badi seh wah dem wah seh...a farum dis n if u caan seh it yahso weh u fi seh it den...mi did think seh a wah di place fah...so run it...seh wah u wah seh...besides unu always a kill mi wid joke...no mek no badi tek weh u VIBES my girl...run it.

[Yaads 0]

That tea story kind of scares me.

But of course, it scared me too. Girl, it cleaned me out...10 pounds is a lot of weight to lose in 5 days. I fit into the dress, but my mom had to take in the BUST ...anytime I lose weight my BREAST shrink every single time. Then my baxide goes next

Same here and I hate it I like to have my big bust and booty and want to get rid of the fat everywhere else for goodness sake!

I tried acupunture and now I don't sound like Barry White anymore.

Serious?!?

Yes girl. That was 11 years ago. My voice was VERY VERY deep. Men thought it was sexy, but I hated it. So, I went to this Chinese doctor whose wife specialized in acupunture and that was it. My voice is still a little deep, but nothing like before and I was able to breathe better and no more sinus infections. I think I spent $125 for the treatments.

Ur kidding, right??? Where did they put the needles?

I think you should do next week's prayer on video and post it to you tube so we can all hear your sexy voice!!

I totally agree...come on Lawny!

Edited March 25, 2008 by Yardiewife

[brownnskinn 0]

lawny,

for the most part i speak my mind..but some ppl act like dem life perfect..everybody here must know mine not perfect by now...it's not the worse but wi no perfect..

Show mi the "man" with a perfect relationship and i'll show u'll a liar..so mi lef sometings more time..

by di way mi a go lef dis yah thread tuh cause ppl a ignore mi...baxide..Jengs weh u deh, Gilli mi si yuh earlier..lawny yea ! i guess that's my click

oonuh don't falla mi yaaw mi head a go !!

Oh KimKim you say it so perfectly!

Lawny I know you didn't direct it at me but let me just say this...there is a whole lot of sh!t that goes on behind the scenes. A TON to be more precise - if you have noticed there has been a lot of people leaving the thread - this is precisely why. I wouldn't have a problem giving out personal details and sharing my life if I knew that people on here were genuine and truly my friends. To hear about the stuff that is being said about you and your relationship behind your back by your so called "yardie family" well it gets old and it's sad and immature. I guess I am just sick of giving fodder to those that like to call, email or PM others to mock, ridicule or demean me and others and what we choose to share. So I am choosing not to share anymore - as have many others. Those that are truly my friends keep in contact with me by other means and know what is going on in my life, it is as simple as that. Karma is a b!tch and to those people that don't think word is out that you are full of sh!t...well sorry but the jig is up. No need to name names...we all know who you are.

I soo agree. yardi. I agree with kimkim as well, I know my shi# an't perfect, but to learned that I am being judged by what I post is crazy to me. The only thing I know is personal experience. I don't know how to leave my relationship out of it, that's why we are all here...no offense to anyone. If someone can learn from my miss-haps, as well as my joys, good for them, good for me; we all grow together, unforuntaley some feel the enviorment is not safe for sharing. All I got to seh is "shyt happening" is a humbeling experience, until something happens everyone thinks thier shyt is exempt. I'm always here if someone wants a nonjudgemental listening ear.

[brownnskinn 0]

Mawning Yardies,

How is everyone today?

Lawny, I am so sorry for your loss. I, too think that stress is underrated...it can do some serious damage to your body & mind! I TRY to keep it in check...but these days it can be hard!

Like right now I feel my blood pressure creeping up! Ken just called me...he was suppose to go for his driving test today! We have paid the $$ and this woman said bring a car and drive fuh a likkle bit...presto whamo we give you a receipt and you should be able to pick up your license before you leave!

Hmmmm, what was it that JG said about best laid plans.... So, he goes down there and this man calls Ken and give him a book to read! Ok, after we paid the $$ we were suppose to be able to skip this part! Ken tells the man he is confused and the man tells Ken to come back on...APRIL 24th!!! Mi jus tell Ken look yuh haffi guh pressure deh people yuh pay deh $$ tuh! Mek dem knoa seh yuh knoa pay yuh HARD-EARNED dollas fi dis phockery!!

Is deh same ting we JUS talking bout!!! I KNOW my man...anyhow Ken come hup here widhout em license...fi jus siddung...Bwoy, is pure misery mi in fuh!!

Ladies, that have filed before me...is this how it goes...2 days of joy...then back inna deh crosses agen??? Constant struggle!? Well, Ken ave a saying"Not heveryday deh seas are rough...wan day wan day deh seas MUS calm!!! Lawd, when is DAT day!?

Bless,

Gill

Honestly, I don't think it's gotten better yet. There is always another form to fill out and another frustrating day to deal with where if you hear the word immigration or green card one more time, you are going to scream. Today, the word of the day is "passport".

I have learned that it hasn't killed me yet, Gill, and that I am a whole lot stronger and smarter then I ever thought I was.

You can do this. Stay strong and take lots of deep breaths!

I like that...the word of the day.

Mindy is having a hell of a time with renewing Roy's passport. They have sent 2 different sets of pictures in via NY consulate and both have been returned from JA as not the right pictures......Walgreens & Wal-Mart. The word is they have to go to The Picture People and have them make high resolution pictures. Something about JA and the high rate of fraud.

Anyhow, to hear her tell it, is giving me a headache today. She's been trying to renew for the last 2 months.

We need to renew Andre's by the end of the year. Now, I'm worried.

wow she has to go to the picture people....that is so crazy.....i'm sure my head would be hurting too....

My husbands friend realized his was expired right before his trip to JA, they went anyways and he renewed it while he was there. If push comes to shove for Mindy I'll ask him what happened.

[brownnskinn 0]

lawny,

for the most part i speak my mind..but some ppl act like dem life perfect..everybody here must know mine not perfect by now...it's not the worse but wi no perfect..

Show mi the "man" with a perfect relationship and i'll show u'll a liar..so mi lef sometings more time..

by di way mi a go lef dis yah thread tuh cause ppl a ignore mi...baxide..Jengs weh u deh, Gilli mi si yuh earlier..lawny yea ! i guess that's my click

oonuh don't falla mi yaaw mi head a go !!

Oh KimKim you say it so perfectly!

Lawny I know you didn't direct it at me but let me just say this...there is a whole lot of sh!t that goes on behind the scenes. A TON to be more precise - if you have noticed there has been a lot of people leaving the thread - this is precisely why. I wouldn't have a problem giving out personal details and sharing my life if I knew that people on here were genuine and truly my friends. To hear about the stuff that is being said about you and your relationship behind your back by your so called "yardie family" well it gets old and it's sad and immature. I guess I am just sick of giving fodder to those that like to call, email or PM others to mock, ridicule or demean me and others and what we choose to share. So I am choosing not to share anymore - as have many others. Those that are truly my friends keep in contact with me by other means and know what is going on in my life, it is as simple as that. Karma is a b!tch and to those people that don't think word is out that you are full of sh!t...well sorry but the jig is up. No need to name names...we all know who you are.

Lawd......but we seem so luving... well, no mind dem...mi love your JOKES...they help me a lot ESPECIALLY in my time of HEAT...like now, I'm so damn hyper. I was gone for a while because walked 26 blocks into Georgetown and back and I didn't even bus a sweat. It's cold outside. That damn EXPRESSO is quicking my butt.

The jokes are alrite mon!

[brownnskinn 0]

I need to vent. 8 weeks ago, my supervisors at work told me I would be on 2nd (afternoon) shift when I came back to work. Then, ONE week before I was due back, they moved me to 1st shift INDEFINATELY because one of our suppliers is on strike and a bunch of people are laid off. Now I'm still on 1st shift, and no one can give me any info when I'll be going to 2nd. All my plans and arrangements for day care are for 2nd shift. So, Tony has been home with Monique but he's losing his mind and has to go back to work. Plus, we're broke! We need that extra income. So, I don't know what to do. I desperately want to find a new job but I can't find one that pays anything close to this one (that I'm actually qualified for!)

Sorry babes...That's a hard one.