Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[JA Tam 7]

AH LIE...WI REACH PART 6!!!!

Happy Birthday Yardie...I hope today is/was a good day and that you celebrate the whole week through!

Ok fam, have a case for you all to mull over - so I know of a family who adopted their granddaughter as their son was killed in some gang war in Florida. Anyway, the girl was brought here under another name, but she was legally adopted in the US about 7 or 8 years ago. Three years ago, the couple divorced and the paternal grandfather was awarded custody (the grandmother was not her biological grandmother and because of safety issues she chose not to contest the custody so that she would have no need for further contact with the ex. They have recently been back in contact and are more civil, that's how we now have this info). Anyway, the granddad decided to use the lawyer who helped with the adoption to file the paperwork for her GC. Well, she got her interview date and the lawyer advised her that she would have to go to Jamaica to do the interview. When she went with her granddad, they were told that she could not be given the GC because the adoption was not done in Jamaica, so it would not be recognized. That makes no sense to us, since the adoption was legally done here in the States and we would think the US has jurisdiction. I didn't think she should have gone to JA in the first place, it made no sense to me. Now she is stuck in JA until they can sort out the adoption mess and we know how timely JA can be.

So fam, what are your thoughts on this?

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

All I can say is "know your SELF-WORTH"----know your SELF-WORTH

This is so true - and every woman has her point in life when she recognizes her own self worth - Whether it is a simple thing that someone says (whether it's realistic or not), or whatever happens to make her take a hard look at herself - From that moment forward, there is no turning her back.

I have been through the abusive relationship, the cheater - you name it. I have a friend right now who is in and out of an abusive relationship - it breaks my heart to see, but she knows that I am there for her when she needs me. However, I truly believe that everyone has their own individual wall - eventually you hit it and realize that it's enough for you, but until that time, nothing anyone says to you makes a difference.

Co-sign Sus,

I've been there too and no matter how man times people try to talk you out of your relationship, you have to be ready.

I've not typed it enough 10 bbclaat YEARS! I'm glad I survived and was able to walk away.

[MSNELLY 0]

Happy Birthday Yardie

MSNELLY - I see your visa journey has ended....best wishes to 'ya

THANKS EVERYTHING HAPPEN FOR A REASON BETTER NOW THEN LATER

That's so true Nel, it really is better now than later. I know it was a very hard decision to make. Know that I'm here for you.

THANKS MICH

[MSNELLY 0]

Happy Birthday Yardie

MSNELLY - I see your visa journey has ended....best wishes to 'ya

THANKS EVERYTHING HAPPEN FOR A REASON BETTER NOW THEN LATER

That's so true Nel, it really is better now than later. I know it was a very hard decision to make. Know that I'm here for you.

THANKS MICH

[IrieCat 2]

All I can say is "know your SELF-WORTH"----know your SELF-WORTH

This is so true - and every woman has her point in life when she recognizes her own self worth - Whether it is a simple thing that someone says (whether it's realistic or not), or whatever happens to make her take a hard look at herself - From that moment forward, there is no turning her back.

I have been through the abusive relationship, the cheater - you name it. I have a friend right now who is in and out of an abusive relationship - it breaks my heart to see, but she knows that I am there for her when she needs me. However, I truly believe that everyone has their own individual wall - eventually you hit it and realize that it's enough for you, but until that time, nothing anyone says to you makes a difference.

Co-sign Sus,

I've been there too and no matter how man times people try to talk you out of your relationship, you have to be ready.

I've not typed it enough 10 bbclaat YEARS! I'm glad I survived and was able to walk away.

Ladies, I have been there too. My daughter's father tried to kill me (strangle) when I was nearly 9 months pregnant. I begged him to let me live for Tierra....The other day when you all were talking about your kids looking like people you talk about (something like that) it made me think about when T's dad held me down and pressed his hand into my side.... I swear to God that Tierra has a birthmark in the same place and it makes me happy actually. Reminds me of my strength.

Now my best friend likes a man I know beat past women and I told her and even after she saw what I went through it does not stop her from pursuing him. Nothing I can say to her will make her change her mind because "it won't happen to her"..... I pray it doesn't!!!

[nannygirl82 0]

I know that for men it would eventually lead to something sexual but say there is just the emotional/intimate/getting to be more than just a friend side of things first. If you found that out before anything sexual happened would you still feel like he cheated? Would you consider that to be just as bad as doing something of a sexual nature?

i know this was talked about earlier in the day but i wanted to add my coment to this....and i would ahve to say yes to the questions....mike did all the above....he did it at the bus stop, on the computer, on the phone...and even though he said "never slept with them" i still felt/feel betryad by him....like why did need to talk to these other girls or say the things he said to them...what's wrong with telling me all of those things last time i checked i was his wife....just my thoughts...

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I know that for men it would eventually lead to something sexual but say there is just the emotional/intimate/getting to be more than just a friend side of things first. If you found that out before anything sexual happened would you still feel like he cheated? Would you consider that to be just as bad as doing something of a sexual nature?

i know this was talked about earlier in the day but i wanted to add my coment to this....and i would ahve to say yes to the questions....mike did all the above....he did it at the bus stop, on the computer, on the phone...and even though he said "never slept with them" i still felt/feel betryad by him....like why did need to talk to these other girls or say the things he said to them...what's wrong with telling me all of those things last time i checked i was his wife....just my thoughts...

Evnin nanny how the baby?

[Jengles 0]

JENGS,

To tell you the truth, I use to think something was wrong with me. I just couldn't get it right. I took me a VERY LONG time to realize it wasn't me. I'm shock mi no MAD by now. Of all my relationship, the last one was the WORSE and my SON's father was the only man I've every loved in the past. Girl, I've been there and been through it. I did have a break down in the mid 90s when I walked in on my boyfriend (THROWING DOWN) with his other woman in my apartment. You see, when you tell people things like that, they find it VERY hard to believe, but once you've been through something like that, it kind of messes with your head. But you have to realize at some point that all MEN are not the same and I love and respect my daddy and brothers very much. So my HEART has been through it.

Lawny, I can so relate to this. I have been through it and back with men, including my ex fiance. I swear, I could rival any episode of Jerry Springer with some of the situations. Last year, I went to a medium / psychic with my cousin (just for fun). What she said totally blew my mind - never mind the medium stuff, which she was right on the money, down to describing my grandmother's wedding ring. She told me that I attract drama in my relationships, and that it dates back to something that happened to me around age 5 that was a significant change - That whatever it was taught me to act out / cause drama to get attention. When I was 5, my younger brother was born - Not only did a new baby take attention, he had a learning disability - so as he grew, he demanded more of my mother's attention.

It might sound wierd - it struck me so much what she said, and thinking back on my life, in many ways, she was so right. I think hearing that helped me to put things in perspective - for the first time, I truly feel that I have an honest man who loves me for me - and isn't out to start the drama.

Sus,

It become a cycle and it takes alot of strength and courage to break that cycle. I went to a thing called "GIRLFRIEND week-end" in the Bahamas last year and it changed me. They had women from all over the US and a few from European. Women from all backgrounds (some VERY wealthy). We all shared one thing though, we've all had horrible abusive relationships. I met women who were so well educated, wealthy and full of life, but were living a lie. There men were beating them almost everyday or their men were womanizer. I was just amazed. Some of the women told their families about the ABUSE and their family didn't believe them. I told my ex's family what was going on and their reply was "he's just adjusting to the relationship" (10 FRIGGIN YEARS). I just sat there and soaked up as much information as I could in 3 days in the Bahamas. Want to mess with someone's head (just spoon feed them) whatever you think will make them happy and to keep them around. All I can say is "know your SELF-WORTH"----know your SELF-WORTH

a friend of mine used to say, that she knew a lot of women who had it together in the all aspects of their life but one aspect, their relationships. I don't know why. is it because we let them??? aren't firm enough with the men in our lives...but i agree if have to know your self-worth. i'm not going to be in a relationship and be bitter...muh nuh see the sense in that.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

JENGS,

To tell you the truth, I use to think something was wrong with me. I just couldn't get it right. I took me a VERY LONG time to realize it wasn't me. I'm shock mi no MAD by now. Of all my relationship, the last one was the WORSE and my SON's father was the only man I've every loved in the past. Girl, I've been there and been through it. I did have a break down in the mid 90s when I walked in on my boyfriend (THROWING DOWN) with his other woman in my apartment. You see, when you tell people things like that, they find it VERY hard to believe, but once you've been through something like that, it kind of messes with your head. But you have to realize at some point that all MEN are not the same and I love and respect my daddy and brothers very much. So my HEART has been through it.

Lawny, I can so relate to this. I have been through it and back with men, including my ex fiance. I swear, I could rival any episode of Jerry Springer with some of the situations. Last year, I went to a medium / psychic with my cousin (just for fun). What she said totally blew my mind - never mind the medium stuff, which she was right on the money, down to describing my grandmother's wedding ring. She told me that I attract drama in my relationships, and that it dates back to something that happened to me around age 5 that was a significant change - That whatever it was taught me to act out / cause drama to get attention. When I was 5, my younger brother was born - Not only did a new baby take attention, he had a learning disability - so as he grew, he demanded more of my mother's attention.

It might sound wierd - it struck me so much what she said, and thinking back on my life, in many ways, she was so right. I think hearing that helped me to put things in perspective - for the first time, I truly feel that I have an honest man who loves me for me - and isn't out to start the drama.

Sus,

It become a cycle and it takes alot of strength and courage to break that cycle. I went to a thing called "GIRLFRIEND week-end" in the Bahamas last year and it changed me. They had women from all over the US and a few from European. Women from all backgrounds (some VERY wealthy). We all shared one thing though, we've all had horrible abusive relationships. I met women who were so well educated, wealthy and full of life, but were living a lie. There men were beating them almost everyday or their men were womanizer. I was just amazed. Some of the women told their families about the ABUSE and their family didn't believe them. I told my ex's family what was going on and their reply was "he's just adjusting to the relationship" (10 FRIGGIN YEARS). I just sat there and soaked up as much information as I could in 3 days in the Bahamas. Want to mess with someone's head (just spoon feed them) whatever you think will make them happy and to keep them around. All I can say is "know your SELF-WORTH"----know your SELF-WORTH

a friend of mine used to say, that she knew a lot of women who had it together in the all aspects of their life but one aspect, their relationships. I don't know why. is it because we let them??? aren't firm enough with the men in our lives...but i agree if have to know your self-worth. i'm not going to be in a relationship and be bitter...muh nuh see the sense in that.

Lawd JENGS u a mek mi bawl. JENGS, look pon mi picha...see how much HAIR did deh pon mi head... gwaan...go look pon mi PICAH!....now it look like JOHN'CROW DRAW BRAKE IN DEH! and UNU no baddi laugh aftah mi.

[nannygirl82 0]

Happy Birthday Jamie

[Jengles 0]

AH LIE...WI REACH PART 6!!!!

Happy Birthday Yardie...I hope today is/was a good day and that you celebrate the whole week through!

Ok fam, have a case for you all to mull over - so I know of a family who adopted their granddaughter as their son was killed in some gang war in Florida. Anyway, the girl was brought here under another name, but she was legally adopted in the US about 7 or 8 years ago. Three years ago, the couple divorced and the paternal grandfather was awarded custody (the grandmother was not her biological grandmother and because of safety issues she chose not to contest the custody so that she would have no need for further contact with the ex. They have recently been back in contact and are more civil, that's how we now have this info). Anyway, the granddad decided to use the lawyer who helped with the adoption to file the paperwork for her GC. Well, she got her interview date and the lawyer advised her that she would have to go to Jamaica to do the interview. When she went with her granddad, they were told that she could not be given the GC because the adoption was not done in Jamaica, so it would not be recognized. That makes no sense to us, since the adoption was legally done here in the States and we would think the US has jurisdiction. I didn't think she should have gone to JA in the first place, it made no sense to me. Now she is stuck in JA until they can sort out the adoption mess and we know how timely JA can be.

So fam, what are your thoughts on this?

one of the first things i've learned from these boards is , never leave the country...i'm assuming the adoption was under her right name. I don't belive the lawyer told them right. but now that's she's left it is going to be a mess. If the father is dead, where is the mother can't she sign over guardianship papers over to the grandparents and go from their. can they try and file for a vistor's vise for the little girl to get her back here in the states??

and what are they saying really if u go into another country you are no longer adopted...that nuh mek no sense...please keep up updated

I know that for men it would eventually lead to something sexual but say there is just the emotional/intimate/getting to be more than just a friend side of things first. If you found that out before anything sexual happened would you still feel like he cheated? Would you consider that to be just as bad as doing something of a sexual nature?

i know this was talked about earlier in the day but i wanted to add my coment to this....and i would ahve to say yes to the questions....mike did all the above....he did it at the bus stop, on the computer, on the phone...and even though he said "never slept with them" i still felt/feel betryad by him....like why did need to talk to these other girls or say the things he said to them...what's wrong with telling me all of those things last time i checked i was his wife....just my thoughts...

right and it made u uncomfortable, so he should have stopped.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

AH LIE...WI REACH PART 6!!!!

Happy Birthday Yardie...I hope today is/was a good day and that you celebrate the whole week through!

Ok fam, have a case for you all to mull over - so I know of a family who adopted their granddaughter as their son was killed in some gang war in Florida. Anyway, the girl was brought here under another name, but she was legally adopted in the US about 7 or 8 years ago. Three years ago, the couple divorced and the paternal grandfather was awarded custody (the grandmother was not her biological grandmother and because of safety issues she chose not to contest the custody so that she would have no need for further contact with the ex. They have recently been back in contact and are more civil, that's how we now have this info). Anyway, the granddad decided to use the lawyer who helped with the adoption to file the paperwork for her GC. Well, she got her interview date and the lawyer advised her that she would have to go to Jamaica to do the interview. When she went with her granddad, they were told that she could not be given the GC because the adoption was not done in Jamaica, so it would not be recognized. That makes no sense to us, since the adoption was legally done here in the States and we would think the US has jurisdiction. I didn't think she should have gone to JA in the first place, it made no sense to me. Now she is stuck in JA until they can sort out the adoption mess and we know how timely JA can be.

So fam, what are your thoughts on this?

one of the first things i've learned from these boards is , never leave the country...i'm assuming the adoption was under her right name. I don't belive the lawyer told them right. but now that's she's left it is going to be a mess. If the father is dead, where is the mother can't she sign over guardianship papers over to the grandparents and go from their. can they try and file for a vistor's vise for the little girl to get her back here in the states??

and what are they saying really if u go into another country you are no longer adopted...that nuh mek no sense...please keep up updated

Dat mi no understand eedah. I'll have to ask some of my co-workers who have gone through international adoptions.

[Jengles 0]

JENGS,

To tell you the truth, I use to think something was wrong with me. I just couldn't get it right. I took me a VERY LONG time to realize it wasn't me. I'm shock mi no MAD by now. Of all my relationship, the last one was the WORSE and my SON's father was the only man I've every loved in the past. Girl, I've been there and been through it. I did have a break down in the mid 90s when I walked in on my boyfriend (THROWING DOWN) with his other woman in my apartment. You see, when you tell people things like that, they find it VERY hard to believe, but once you've been through something like that, it kind of messes with your head. But you have to realize at some point that all MEN are not the same and I love and respect my daddy and brothers very much. So my HEART has been through it.

Lawny, I can so relate to this. I have been through it and back with men, including my ex fiance. I swear, I could rival any episode of Jerry Springer with some of the situations. Last year, I went to a medium / psychic with my cousin (just for fun). What she said totally blew my mind - never mind the medium stuff, which she was right on the money, down to describing my grandmother's wedding ring. She told me that I attract drama in my relationships, and that it dates back to something that happened to me around age 5 that was a significant change - That whatever it was taught me to act out / cause drama to get attention. When I was 5, my younger brother was born - Not only did a new baby take attention, he had a learning disability - so as he grew, he demanded more of my mother's attention.

It might sound wierd - it struck me so much what she said, and thinking back on my life, in many ways, she was so right. I think hearing that helped me to put things in perspective - for the first time, I truly feel that I have an honest man who loves me for me - and isn't out to start the drama.

Sus,

It become a cycle and it takes alot of strength and courage to break that cycle. I went to a thing called "GIRLFRIEND week-end" in the Bahamas last year and it changed me. They had women from all over the US and a few from European. Women from all backgrounds (some VERY wealthy). We all shared one thing though, we've all had horrible abusive relationships. I met women who were so well educated, wealthy and full of life, but were living a lie. There men were beating them almost everyday or their men were womanizer. I was just amazed. Some of the women told their families about the ABUSE and their family didn't believe them. I told my ex's family what was going on and their reply was "he's just adjusting to the relationship" (10 FRIGGIN YEARS). I just sat there and soaked up as much information as I could in 3 days in the Bahamas. Want to mess with someone's head (just spoon feed them) whatever you think will make them happy and to keep them around. All I can say is "know your SELF-WORTH"----know your SELF-WORTH

a friend of mine used to say, that she knew a lot of women who had it together in the all aspects of their life but one aspect, their relationships. I don't know why. is it because we let them??? aren't firm enough with the men in our lives...but i agree if have to know your self-worth. i'm not going to be in a relationship and be bitter...muh nuh see the sense in that.

Lawd JENGS u a mek mi bawl. JENGS, look pon mi picha...see how much HAIR did deh pon mi head... gwaan...go look pon mi PICAH!....now it look like JOHN'CROW DRAW BRAKE IN DEH! and UNU no baddi laugh aftah mi.

don't worry it will grow back, and if it don't weave a wear inna di 2008

[nannygirl82 0]

I know that for men it would eventually lead to something sexual but say there is just the emotional/intimate/getting to be more than just a friend side of things first. If you found that out before anything sexual happened would you still feel like he cheated? Would you consider that to be just as bad as doing something of a sexual nature?

i know this was talked about earlier in the day but i wanted to add my coment to this....and i would ahve to say yes to the questions....mike did all the above....he did it at the bus stop, on the computer, on the phone...and even though he said "never slept with them" i still felt/feel betryad by him....like why did need to talk to these other girls or say the things he said to them...what's wrong with telling me all of those things last time i checked i was his wife....just my thoughts...

Evnin nanny how the baby?

oh she is very active we went to the movies today...saw definatly maybe....it was actually a good movie...a little bit of a tear jerker at the end but good!!

thanks for asking....

[sus 70]

JA Tam -

How old is the girl now? If she is under 21, they might be able to do a special immigrant juvenile petition:

(Off topic - I did a quick google search and my Fecking former boss stole my memo that I wrote and put it on a website without giving me credit! )

www.kidscounsel.org/Special%20Immigrant%20Juvenile%20Memo%20-%20R%20%20C.DOC

Not sure if it is possible since she is out of the US, but worth looking into