Abandoning the AOS

[sjoefl01 1]

I know everybody here is a little angry with me because I was hesitant about this post. I apologize to the OP. I have been doing some reading about this procedure and I have a little information that may help. I found a link and I still think that some of this can be done from the states.

The first thing you must know is your blood type. If you don't have compatible blood types you are dead in the water from the beginning. If you don't know your blood type then you can get it by donating a pint of blood anywhere in the country. This is free and there are even people that will pay you.

If that test rules that you are compatible then there are a couple of more tests that need to be run. I will put the link on here to spare the readers a lot of medical details. I think you should contact the International Red Cross to transport another blood sample. The keyword here is " International ". They would probably help you get a blood sample to Italy to be compared with your Mom's.

Even if you had medical insurance in America it would not cover costs for you to donate part of your liver to your Mom. Luckily, it appears that Italy has a socialized medical system so the cost will not be an issue. It would really be a shame to go all the way to Italy just to find out that your tissue was not compatible with your Mom's.

Slow down, and see what you can do from here. There are many excellent international charity programs that may have help available to, at least determine if your liver could be transplanted into your Mom.

Again, I apologize to the OP. As I said, I have been here for a while and I have seen it all.

[Moon9393 0]

Hi Maria, my mom died two days ago. I was back in the states I didnt even make it for the funeral and now I feel so guilty cause I left her for the few months that she had left to live. Of course I didnt know that she was goin to die but believe me i would give everything to come back in time. I will feel guilty for the rest of my life. Try to be with her as much as you can.

ciao

[maria_b84 0]

I accept your apologies and I really thank you for your help. My blood type is A positive, the same as my mom. I know it because my father had was ina car crash 5 years ago and he needed blood. They tasted me and then my mom and me and my mom had the same blood type, A positive. My father is B negative, which is very rare from what i understood. I am 100% I am A positive because I have donated blood a few times and they tested me each time.

You are also true about the italian health system. Our health system is completely free and the surgery won't be a problem over there. Unless you go to private clinics, but it will never cost as much as here. I have never had medical insurance here anf I don't now either. I can find free places here (don't know where though) but they have to compare my liver tissue with my mom's. I am not sue but I guess they need both together. Plus those things are very "delicate" like suppose I am tested here then we can send the results to Italy and that wouldn't be a problem but Italian doctors won't trust it. They want to repeat the analyzes because as you know, a transplant is a serious thing. If there's a rejection because someone messed up the analyzes or didn't do 'em right, the person can die. They won't trust them, unless they are done at the same hospital and they are compared by the same doctors. I even thought of going back for 2 weeks, do the analyzes and then come back to the States. If I'll be found compatible I come back to Italy for the surgery. But how is this going to work? Like I might do it but I don't have the money for the ticket. My family in Italy is pretty poor and a ticket around this time (almost high season) is probably minimum $600. Suppose the results will come let's say at the end of June, then I will have to fly back in a matter of days. The end of June is summer time and a ticket, if booked only a few days before, it will cost a $1000. I think you all know that because living in the States, I think you fly back home every once in a while. Plus my husband will come with me because as come people said here "you live after the GC" accusing me that i just want the GC and then live my household and never come back. Well, Michael is going to come with me. We are BOTH going back to Italy to help my mom. I am not going to live my household as some people said over here. So we will have to pay for 2 plane tickets twice. Also, let's say that I fly to Italy do all the stuff I need to do and come back here. At the end of June or at the beginning of July my results will come back and I am fully compatible. By that time my GC won't be here as well. So at the end of June or beginning of July I will have the same problem I am having now, only at a later date. So if it's the case and I can solve everything out now, I'd rather do it now. If there's nothing and I say absolutely nothing I can do, then I just live. I'll abandon my AOS. As I said I have no problem with that since I didn't get married just for that. Either way I am always going to have the same problem. Believe me I am not trying to hide anything as some people said here. I have nothing to hide. Why would I lie for? Because I need the GC so badly? I actually don't. I just don't want to have any problem with Immigration at a later date. I don't want to hurt my mom, who actually helped me out paying my first documents. I don't want to hurt her again, not right now. Some people here talk s""t about me whenever they don't know sh'''t. I was a stripper, I was one even before I met my husband. Then I quit. We needed money to come here and we needed money to pay for the stupid AOS document. So i started to strip again. Now here people are going to accuse me, are going to say "I don't understand, you are married and bla bla bla" Yes my husband and I TALKED together about this decision and it wasn't easy. At the end he understood we needed money to pay for this Immigration. We needed money for a new life here. We needed money for everything. My mom? Well my mom got depressed after our decision. So when these people around here ask me "so you'd rather be more worried about immigration than about your mom? Did you just get married for the GC? You are only worried about the AOS" Yes I am ALSO worried about rhe AOS and I am between two important things of my life. I am worried about the AOS because I stripped to get the money that paid for my AOS, my EAD,my TOEFL for College and for our car. Plus the College admission fee. My mm got depressed because of that. That's why I don't want to come back and tell her that my GC is gone. Because I don't want to hurt her again. Because anger and pain are bad for the liver, ask any doctor if there's one here. Now I want to answer to another question in advance. Some people are here going to ask me why i couldn't work another job instead of stripping. Well i worked another job as well. I was a baby sitter on normal days but I worked as a stripper during the week ends. I hope this time nobody is going to accuse me of anything. I just told the truth. Sorry if i am a bad person, nobody is perfect I guess.

Thank you for your support

Maria

[sjoefl01 1]

I forgot to put the link in the post last night:

http://www.livingdonorsonline.org/liver/liver4.htm

I am sure you have seen this information already.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Maria - have you been in contact with the hospital where your mom is being treated and asked them how LONG this procedure might take? (tests, results and possible transplant procedure?)

That might help you make some decisions about the amount of time you may be absent from the US.

You should try and get as MUCH info from the hospital in Italy as possible before you go to your INFOPASS apt - that way you can say with confidence to the officer there that the hospital have told you this or that - the more info you have the better.

Still wishing you luck

[UmmSqueakster 54]

As hard as it might be, if you need to be with your mom for an extended period of time (many months, maybe a year), maybe you can go back to Italy and file for another K-3 visa once your husband gets back on his feet finance wise and everything is better with your mom.

Anyone know if you can file a K-3 twice?

Edited May 1, 2006 by rahma

[Reba 2]

Maria, the most important thing right now is to get yourself an infopass appointment in Cleveland. Do that today, make the appointment asap, because it still may not be a few weeks until they schedule it. By that time you can scrounge up the month to fill the car with gas or buy yourself a bus ticket. Beg borrow and steal if you have to. They're about the only ones who are going to be able to tell you how long you can stay out of country (I really do believe its up to 6 months, as long as your K3 is still valid) and maybe when your AOS interview will be and can you get an extension if needed.

Its great what you're planning to do for your Mother, it'll be easier to help her in Italy than here, and the only way you're going to do that is to get to Cleveland and find out what your immigration options are. Make the appointment and Then figure out how to get there. I'm sure friends, family and strangers alike would be happy to help out if they just knew the predicament.

Or go strip some more. Its easy money. One night should pay for the gas in the car and half a plane ticket (my cousin is a stripper, its a valid profession and there's nothing to be ashamed of)

[maria_b84 0]

I wish I knew where those places are and I would go right away! I mean, I cannot work though yet and I don't want to do anything illegal, that's the problem. That's the only thing that stops me from making money. Today we called the representative's office and and his worker (the lady we talked to on friday) said that we had already contacted Chicago, but they answer that it's not their problem. They said the applications get there but thye are then forwarded to the local office. And also, this morning we got the NOA1 for the I-485. So we gave the recepit numb to her and she was going to contact cleveland this morning. My husband told her to let us know as soon as she gets a response from them. So now we are waiting on her, see what she is going to say. hopefully she'll have to news. I wish it so badly. How long is it going to take before she gets a responso from cleveland? How long does it normally take?

thanks a lot guys, today I am feeling a lot better. I will hop on a plane as soon as I can. I cannot wait anymore, I can't.

Maria

[Rocio 0]

god bless maria

[maria_b84 0]

Thanks Rocio.....I really hope everything will be ok after all this mess we have been going through

Maria

[meddykomp 0]

I still don't understand. You Can't donate your liver to somebody. It can't be done!!!

You do not donate all of your liver .. just a portion of it. This can be done if you are healthy and your weight is high enough that your body can handle it.

[dmartmar 1]

Hi! I finally got my EAC today in the mail!!!!!! Can anyone tell me how to apply for a SS#? They told me I have to go to their office and bring my EAC. What kind of document do you have to show thme? Do they ask for the birth certificate? And for the marriage license?

Because I used to have 2 copies of my birth certificate and 2 copies of the official english translation. The problem is that I gave a copy of the bc and the translation to Immigration for the AOS but now I only have the italian copy of the birth certificate and I cannot find the translation anymore! I don't know where it is. So I will have to translate the entire document again and that sucks because we don't have the money (it costs like 70 bucks!). Regarding our marriage license, Naples Consulate took the original copy and it kept it and we asked Bell County, TX for a new copy but they sent us a certified copy and not an original one. Its like a fotocopy with their stamo behind, that certifies that the copy is good. Do you think that might work?

Thanks in advance!

Maria

Wasn't your mom your main concern? I thought you had no other option but to abandon your AOS. I then must guess that your mother's situation is not as critical and urgent as you say, when you're willing to apply for a SS# and wait however long it takes to receive the card. Weren't you desperate to get permission to leave the US in order to help your mom?

[meauxna 15]

Wasn't your mom your main concern? I thought you had no other option but to abandon your AOS. I then must guess that your mother's situation is not as critical and urgent as you say, when you're willing to apply for a SS# and wait however long it takes to receive the card. Weren't you desperate to get permission to leave the US in order to help your mom?

I know a couple of good sites for picking fights... PM me if you need the links.

[dmartmar 1]

I know a couple of good sites for picking fights... PM me if you need the links.

What about my post would indicate and/or even suggest to you that I'm trying to pick a fight?

[meauxna 15]

I know a couple of good sites for picking fights... PM me if you need the links.

What about my post would indicate and/or even suggest to you that I'm trying to pick a fight?

Your other post today to her other thread.