Abandoning the AOS

[maria_b84 0]

Hi everyone, we need an important advice. We have barely started our AOS process (we sent everything out last saturday and we haven't got the NOA1 yet) in Cleveland, OH. 3 years ago my mom was diagnosticated liver cirrhosis and the doctrs told us she won't live very long unless we find a donator for a liver transplant. Unfortunately last year my mom broke her femore and she stayed in the hospital for 3 months. All the medicines they gave her (and especially the anesthesia) basically complicated the situation. For the past year my mom was "fine", I mean she takes like 7 different pills a day for her stomach and her liver but today my aunt called me with bad news. My mom went to the doctor about a week after me and Michael left Italy and her liver is starting to degenerate and within a year the liver is going to fail, lose all the fuctions. She basically needs a transplant urgently. My aunt (her sister) has already been tested to see if they are compatible, but we have to wait and see. It takes a long time for the result to come back. I am an only child and I can be compatible. There is the 60% of the chance I am. But being here I cannot help her, because I cannot do the test ( i don't even have health insurance here yet) plus my mom is over there. I need to go back, take the test and wait for the result. If I am compatible I need to stay and do the surgery. This all process is going to take at least more than 6 months. We have to wait for my test results, and If I have to do the surgery is gonna be even worse. I will have to do several months of rehabilitation so my mom will. I need to leave as soon as possible. But I can't. Being on a K3 visa I can easily leave the country while my AOS is being processed, but obviously I cannot stay more than 6 months out of the USA otherwise the petition will be considered abandoned. When i called the national customer service they told me I can stay maximun 2 weeks. What can I do? I mean I have already paid the $395 fee for the AOS and If I leave I lose my petition and it is gonna be tough starting everything again in 7 months or whenever. But I also ahve to take the chance and help my mom, I am the best person who can possibily help her. What should we do? My husband loves my mom she is like his second mom to him and God knows how depress Michael is right now. He was going to call and buy a ticket an hour ago but I want to solve this problem with Immigration first. I want to be totally legal no matter what i decide to do. Damn, I just don't know what to do, that's the problem. My GC might come in 4-5 months and it will be too late. If my mom sees me there she will die for sure. She wants me to get the GC and go to College but how can i do it knowing that she needs my help? Damn I wish i had a solution to this problem. They tried to hide it to me for a long time, but my aunt called me today. They should have told me that, when it had just happened and not now. I mean I sent everything out last week. They should have told me the first week of april or whenever but not now. I could have stopped doing the AOS and fly back home. I mean is there anything we can do to talk to Immigration about this? How can we solve this problem?

Thank you very much, I hope you guys will help us as always

[NigerLA 1]

My prayers go out to you and your entire family. I know it is really a difficult situation for you right now. I honestly believe this situation calls for an emergency parole request. You can make an infopass appointment at your nearest USCIS office to inquire about it. If you can have the doctors express mail the medical results to you or have it faxed, take it with you as proof of the urgency involved.

Abandoning your case will not help at all, please think about the Advance parole before you leave. All the best to you and your husband.

[denali_1963 0]

Your aunt or you are gonna donate your livers?

[Kez/JWolf 6]

If you came on a K3 cant you request to go the CR1 route and have your interview in Italy??? I would make an infopass and find out about doing the CR1...

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this and you are in my prayers.....

Kezzie

[chocolaterie 0]

Maria I would make an infopass appointment and get emergency ap. At the appt I would ask the immigration officer if there is anything you can do to have an extended stay outside the usa while the I-485 is being processed. I take it you can get proof of your mother's condition? Have her fax a doctor's note to you? The national customer service center line is not always the best place to get information, that's why most vjer's call it the "misinformation line". I wish you the best!

[sjoefl01 1]

My heart goes out to you. Take care of your Mom and solve the other problems as they come. I agree that you can probably get an emergency AP or possibly file for CR1 in Italy. It is also good advice to make an infopass, if possible to learn your options.

There is one thing that I don't understand though. You have 2 kidneys so it is not unusual for a family member to donate a kidney but you only have one liver. I don't think a living person can donate a liver. I have only heard of liver transplants from people that were declared brain dead. Are you sure you have correct information about the medical facts pertaining to your Moms illness?

[nyc 0]

Maria I would make an infopass appointment and get emergency ap. At the appt I would ask the immigration officer if there is anything you can do to have an extended stay outside the usa while the I-485 is being processed. I take it you can get proof of your mother's condition? Have her fax a doctor's note to you? The national customer service center line is not always the best place to get information, that's why most vjer's call it the "misinformation line". I wish you the best!

It's an excellent advice, that's exactly what I would do.

Worst case scenario - abandon your AOS, go to Italy and take care of your mom, and the transplant, it's the most important. $395 is nothing compared to your mom's life at stake.

Good luck with all this, be strong, things will get better!

Anna

[maria_b84 0]

I want to thank everybody for the prayers and the help. You are the best people.

I would like to make an infopass but we don't have money for gas to go all way to Cleveland (which is 2 hours away driving). I finished all of my money so Michael did. He can't find a job and God knows how bad I'd like to go back. I am stuck right here. I can't work because Immigration won't let me until they know when, so i can't find money for the ticket or money to keep on going with my life. When I called the custoer service they told me I cannot do the CR1 now because I have already started my AOS and I have a K3 visa already. I don't think I need AP because I can actually leave the country without it bein on a K3 visa, but I cannot stay very long. Even if they give me an extention (I wish!!) it won't last months. I also asked the lady to give an idea, what I can do. She was like :Do you know any senator/representative? They might help you out. My husband knows a few representative because he is an Iraq Veteran and on the memorial Day they always come right here. He met them 2 years ago during the memorial day in 2004 during his leaving time from the Army. I can try to write them an email and see what they can do to help me out. What do you think about this? Should we try?

[sjoefl01 1]

I still don't understand. You Can't donate your liver to somebody. It can't be done!!!

[chocolaterie 0]

Yes, write to your senator or make an appt to see him in person!! I know my local senator has helped me with my application, and they will probably be even more helpful since your hubby is a veteran. I can't believe your closest office is 2 hours away! and yes, did you mean donate a kidney?

[sjoefl01 1]

There is still a problem with this story. The disease your mom has is

Cirrhosis of the Liver. You can not donate a liver to your Mom. Your story does not add up. What is the deal? Are you homesick?

[denali_1963 0]

There is still a problem with this story. The disease your mom has is

Cirrhosis of the Liver. You can not donate a liver to your Mom. Your story does not add up. What is the deal? Are you homesick?

I think she wants a donation but not a liver or kidney for that matter.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

There is still a problem with this story. The disease your mom has is

Cirrhosis of the Liver. You can not donate a liver to your Mom. Your story does not add up. What is the deal? Are you homesick?

Actually, she can donate a portion of her liver and in her mother that portion will regenerate enough of the liver to take over liver functions. As well, her own liver will also regenerate and continue to function within her own body.

I have a friend who was just a living liver donor within this past year. Both he and his family member are doing well.

Good luck in finding a solution that will allow you to return to Italy for the time you need to be there, as well as continue your AOS processing.

[denali_1963 0]

There is still a problem with this story. The disease your mom has is

Cirrhosis of the Liver. You can not donate a liver to your Mom. Your story does not add up. What is the deal? Are you homesick?

Actually, she can donate a portion of her liver and in her mother that portion will regenerate enough of the liver to take over liver functions. As well, her own liver will also regenerate and continue to function within her own body.

I have a friend who was just a living liver donor within this past year. Both he and his family member are doing well.

Good luck in finding a solution that will allow you to return to Italy for the time you need to be there, as well as continue your AOS processing.

OOPS> my apoligies i searched it and it is correct. Sorry about your mom

[chocolaterie 0]

Kathryn41, thanks for the input, I was just about to start googling.