Why do family members and in-laws back home think we're rich ?

[panamania79 2]

I wish someone could expalin this to me.One of the reasons I stopped talking to family back home as much is because every chance they get,they ask for money.They think I have a dollar tree in my back yard.

[YuAndDan 153]

Same happens with other countries where the exchange rate makes the dollar value higher than domestic currency. It happens with China too.

They do not understand that things cost more in the USA, as well as things like TAX takes up to 50% out of an American's income.

[*JG* 2]

We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.

You learn not to answer the phone.

[panamania79 2]

We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.

You learn not to answer the phone.

What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.

[GabiandVi 34]

This is why we will NEVER live in my husband's country. He gets it all the time because he has an American wife, but it's worse when I visit. We have to "hold court" every morning. The living room is full of people waiting for us to wake up so they can ask my husband for money. To deny them would seem stingy, and, of course, we want to help out as much as we can. There is no way they can understand that while compared to them we are rich, we have responsibilities back home that we simply cannot ignore because we want to help them out. It is very frustrating. When our daughter was born my husband looked at her and said, "You will have a lot of responsibility." I nearly collapsed with the weight of the realization of what I had brought her into.

[*JG* 2]

We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.

You learn not to answer the phone.

What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.

Oh, I've heard some stories........we have not food. A few days later, the hurricane blew away all our food. (Ummmm....I thought you didn't have any food?) So and so is so sick I think they may die. Later that day, oh, she's went out. Story after story after story...............Eventually, you stop stressing and learn to enjoy the comedic value of it all.

We've had friends call for money for a car, a plane ticket, a computer.............

And, you'll notice the calls happen just about the time you get paid. It's like they are psychic or something.

We just say NO and if they persist, we stop answering the phones.

It will be no different when we visit. I do not play that game.

[Nessa 23]

I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

We had a very long discussion about this before I got engaged. I've already gone through with it from people in my own family and WE HAD TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN HARD (this was many years ago). I don't know about other countries, but SOME people in Jamaica think becuase you live inthe states you're siting on a GOLD MIND...so, back in the day when they would call (sometimes collect). I would say, let me look out side, I think THE MONEY TREE is DEAD again. More opportuntines may be available here in the states, but you still have to bust your A$$ to make a decent living in America. Nothing is free.

I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.

[*JG* 2]

Tre, it's an ongoing thing. You really do get used to it. You also get over the whole, it's stresing me out part.

[panamania79 2]

We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.

You learn not to answer the phone.

What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.

Oh, I've heard some stories........we have not food. A few days later, the hurricane blew away all our food. (Ummmm....I thought you didn't have any food?) So and so is so sick I think they may die. Later that day, oh, she's went out. Story after story after story...............Eventually, you stop stressing and learn to enjoy the comedic value of it all.

We've had friends call for money for a car, a plane ticket, a computer.............

And, you'll notice the calls happen just about the time you get paid. It's like they are psychic or something.

We just say NO and if they persist, we stop answering the phones.

It will be no different when we visit. I do not play that game.

It's the exact same scenario in Panama.This has to be the funniest one."Lani,do they have shirts up there ?" And I'm like,"Um yeah." And then they'll ask,"Could you bring me 5 and I'll pay you back when you come ?" And I'll never forget the time my aunt called me in tears because she had no shampoo,toilet paper,or soap.When I get there,she has everything.

We had a very long discussion about this before I got engaged. I've already gone through with it from people in my own family and WE HAD TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN HARD (this was many years ago). I don't know about other countries, but SOME people in Jamaica think becuase you live inthe states you're siting on a GOLD MIND...so, back in the day when they would call (sometimes collect). I would say, let me look out side, I think THE MONEY TREE is DEAD again. More opportuntines may be available here in the states, but you still have to bust your A$$ to make a decent living in America. Nothing is free.

I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.

I just stopped bothering with them as much as I used to.They're so fresh.

[Mononoke28 134]

My step-brother once told my dad that he needed $5k because he going to be kidnapped. Whatever.

Diana

[GabachaYucateca 0]

I've never had that problem...and my hubby's family is fairly poor. They're well off in comparision to others from their village, but to put it into perspective, didn't have an actual toilet until my husband was 24. But in their opinion, they want for nothing.

My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.

And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.

I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.

I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.

[garya505 2]

When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.

They never asked us for a penny.

I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.

They still don't ask for anything.

[*JG* 2]

I've never had that problem...and my hubby's family is fairly poor. They're well off in comparision to others from their village, but to put it into perspective, didn't have an actual toilet until my husband was 24. But in their opinion, they want for nothing.

My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.

And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.

I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.

I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.

The key phrase here is "if it's within your means". When you tell them it is not right now, some people cannot take no for an answer.

Being unable is completely different then being selfish. Just as being needy is completely different then taking someone for the sport of it.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

Oh, of course, Jomo's Girl!

Of course, I'd imagine that all of us would find the way to pay for a relative's surgery even if it would cause financial hardship. A new computer, not so much.