Tan's family is FREAKING OUT! @?#$%!!@?#

[ILoveTan 0]

OK - Tan's family is freaking out because in vietnam everyone "knows it all" about this process, talks too much, and is scaring the family.....

First off, they are saying that if the local police don't sign something saying Tuan can go to America, he can't go. This is totally false, right? I would guess it is wrong as Vietnamese don't have the power to control this process, its up to the Americans only, right?

Before Le Dinh Hon (formal engagement) - do you have to make some paper or do paperwork in vietnam with the local police, etc saying that you are both single, signing your intent to marry? Or is just going to Le Dinh Hon party and taking pictures, saving receipts sufficient?

Finally, the family is also worrying about me at their house for months (they want me to stay but everyone is talking, scared, making them stress).... like they must tell the police I am here, but that will cause more problems in my opinion unless I can get proof to show the consulate that I stayed with them. If we go to the police to say I am staying here, can't they also tell me I CAN'T stay here? Did anyone stay in the fiancees family home for more than a month, what did you do about this situation?

Dad is screaming at Tan in vietnamese behind me as I type.... egads! But ultimately, their feelings are the same as mine, they dont want to do anything to jeapordize this (like I do!) ARGH! :-P BOTTOM LINE ME: This process starts with the 129 sent to AMERICAN CONSULATE IN AMERICA, right? Has nothing to do with vietnamese in vietnam?

Thanks

Linda

[apk 0]

OK - Tan's family is freaking out because in vietnam everyone "knows it all" about this process, talks too much, and is scaring the family.....

First off, they are saying that if the local police don't sign something saying Tuan can go to America, he can't go. This is totally false, right? I would guess it is wrong as Vietnamese don't have the power to control this process, its up to the Americans only, right?

Before Le Dinh Hon (formal engagement) - do you have to make some paper or do paperwork in vietnam with the local police, etc saying that you are both single, signing your intent to marry? Or is just going to Le Dinh Hon party and taking pictures, saving receipts sufficient?

Finally, the family is also worrying about me at their house for months (they want me to stay but everyone is talking, scared, making them stress).... like they must tell the police I am here, but that will cause more problems in my opinion unless I can get proof to show the consulate that I stayed with them. If we go to the police to say I am staying here, can't they also tell me I CAN'T stay here? Did anyone stay in the fiancees family home for more than a month, what did you do about this situation?

Dad is screaming at Tan in vietnamese behind me as I type.... egads! But ultimately, their feelings are the same as mine, they dont want to do anything to jeapordize this (like I do!) ARGH! :-P BOTTOM LINE ME: This process starts with the 129 sent to AMERICAN CONSULATE IN AMERICA, right? Has nothing to do with vietnamese in vietnam?

Thanks

Linda

Yes before getting an international marriage you must bring a certified statement from a US District Court saying that according to their records you are not married and are free to marry. I got mine from the County Courthouse. You must explain to the court clerk the reason that you need it.

-Also send a certified copy of you Birth Certificate ahead of you so it can be translated.

Good Luck!!!

[Dan J 277]

OK - Tan's family is freaking out because in vietnam everyone "knows it all" about this process, talks too much, and is scaring the family.....

First off, they are saying that if the local police don't sign something saying Tuan can go to America, he can't go. This is totally false, right? I would guess it is wrong as Vietnamese don't have the power to control this process, its up to the Americans only, right?

Before Le Dinh Hon (formal engagement) - do you have to make some paper or do paperwork in vietnam with the local police, etc saying that you are both single, signing your intent to marry? Or is just going to Le Dinh Hon party and taking pictures, saving receipts sufficient?

Finally, the family is also worrying about me at their house for months (they want me to stay but everyone is talking, scared, making them stress).... like they must tell the police I am here, but that will cause more problems in my opinion unless I can get proof to show the consulate that I stayed with them. If we go to the police to say I am staying here, can't they also tell me I CAN'T stay here? Did anyone stay in the fiancees family home for more than a month, what did you do about this situation?

Dad is screaming at Tan in vietnamese behind me as I type.... egads! But ultimately, their feelings are the same as mine, they dont want to do anything to jeapordize this (like I do!) ARGH! :-P BOTTOM LINE ME: This process starts with the 129 sent to AMERICAN CONSULATE IN AMERICA, right? Has nothing to do with vietnamese in vietnam?

Thanks

Linda

He will need a police certificate as part of the documents provided for the interview.

Someone else will comment more specifically later, but some countries do have country specific requirements.

The process starts by sending your I-129F to the USCIS service center here in the US.

[Teacher Mark 53]

Linda, I am really not sure about correct answers to any of your questions but as always I can speculate without citing a source!

Somewhere in this site it seems I read about the visa for a Vietnamese National being signed off on by their Government. I would assume this is correct. I will have to ask my wife, but she probably won't know.

As you know, this is a family oriented society. My Father In Law was the one who walked all of my paperwork through (actual marriage/K-3). I do not think it would have happened with out his assistance/blessing. I am staying with them now, but this is not Sai Gon! I have not seen a policeman since I got here 2 weeks ago and we are married now for all intents and purposes. We are only waiting for the papers to make their way through the Government offices. March 15th is the day we sign on the dotted line. I'm not real hot on the date, but have resigned myself to my fate!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_tu,_Brute%3F

I would have Tans father go to the police and ask if it were me.

[PeterFB 0]

Linda

The Vietnamese as a culture is prone to believing rumours and many people will play on that to make money from other Vietnamese. Thi was convinced without a "lawyer" we wouldn't be able to get her visa. Fix it men also are a problem as they like to add more rumours so they can "fix" them.

By the time you get to his interview, you will need a Police certificate. That is to clear him of being a criminal, etc. If he has a criminal record then you will need his prison records as well. If he was in the Military, those are required too. The Vietnamese government has to give him a Passport to leave the country. If he has one, then unless the local police have a legal reason to stop him, ie he's wanted for stealing, then he can leave to go anywhere he wants assuming he has the visa to enter the other country (if needed). The passport is needed so the Vietnamese will allow him back into the country, just like the US.

The Le Dinh Hon is usually a party, it can also be your marriage but that's up to you. To make it a legal marriage, you have file with the Vietnamese government and local governments. As WideAwakeintheUSA knows, it's an interesting process..........

Staying with the family isn't a problem, his father just has to file with the police you are there and when you leave, he files that you have left. It can actually help you in filing your I-129f and interview, it's evidence and it's more family orientated than staying in a Hotel (They also file one too). Remember you are in a Communist country with a difference set of laws. Just follow the laws as they apply. There's no reason to worry unless the local police are corrupt. If they are, they just want money. Give them want they want (hopefully just papers) and relax. I haven't stayed a month or longer but I stayed for 17 days for my longest trip and had no problems with the HCMC police. Tho Khanh did get a ticket for running a red light a couple of days ago....... So much for the stereotype of no traffice lights or laws in Vietnam. The police had set up a red light trap. Or rather they just stood by the side of the road and when someone ran a red light they would shine a flashlight at them to pull over. While I waited for Khanh to get his ticket processed, I saw several others pulled over. None tried to get away.

This process, I-129f, is to bring a foreign national to the US for the purpose of marriage and permanent residence. The Vietnamese government has little to no say in it except to supply paperwork evidence to the US Consulate. I'm surprised how many US citizens think the Vietnamese government is charge of the I-129f. It seems there's a lot of confusion about visas out there.

Peter and Thi

I-129F Sent : 2007-05-26

I-129F NOA1 : 2007-06-11

I-129F RFE(s) :

RFE Reply(s) :

I-129F NOA2 : 2007-10-26

Touched: 2007-11-02

NVC Recieved: 2007-11-16

Consulate recieved ??????

Packet 3 sent 2007-12-11

Packet 3 received 2007-12-24

Packet 3 returned 2007-12-28

Packet 4 sent 2008-1-14

Email Reply with Interview Date 2008-1-23

Interview Date 2008-2-27

Passed Interview 2008-02-27

Visa Pick Up Date 2008-3-05

Received Visa 2008-2-29 (called to pick up earlier)

[chuckandkim 0]

Read what PETER said! I'm with him 100%

For Tan: Obtain a Passport NOW if you didn't have one already, it will take months. Or if Tan's passport is about to expired (6months or less). Then get the PC (Police Certificate of Lack of Criminal Records) This piece of paper may cost Tan some cash. Rural police and govt. official aren't familiar with this process, so they may make up "new laws" along the way, just to mess with you. Stick with the request for PC from HCMC.

For Linda: Bring your US Passport and VN Visa Entry to the Ward Police Office, along with Tan's father. Father must bring his "Family Book" (So Ho Khau) and apply for "Temporary Stay/Leave Permit" (Giay Tam Tru Tam Vang) for a few bucks. Done! About the engagement, it is a party with foods and drinks and guests. Don't care what they try to spin it, you are NOT getting married at this event. The Police may stop by for some free lunch, feed them, hell, have a table setup and invite the chief of local police and his officers. Show respect! For anything, it will only help your process later as "I have proof of our relationship from the CHIEF of POLICE in the town where we stay together". Again, think big picture! Everything you are doing now and there is trying to help and build up your case, your evidence of an "on-going" relationship with Tarzan Your goal is getting a Visa for TAN, everything else, just part of the process...

Be cheerful!

Chuck and Kim

[Kevin and 10]

When filling out the paperwork for registering for the stay at the house, do an extra one and have the Local offical stamp and sign it. Keep this one as evidence for the interview.

[LuckyDucky 0]

First off, they are saying that if the local police don't sign something saying Tuan can go to America, he can't go. This is totally false, right? I would guess it is wrong as Vietnamese don't have the power to control this process, its up to the Americans only, right?

I had to submit a police record for Linh when I did my paperwork. I'm not entirely sure what's in it (since I can't read Vietnamese), but I think it details where she lives and that there is no evidence that she is wanted for any crimes.

I'm almost positive that the Vietnamese can hold a national from leaving the country. (Heck, it happens in the United States.) However, I'd guess that it's usually for criminals who are trying to avoid being captured. I don't think you'll have a problem in this case.

Before Le Dinh Hon (formal engagement) - do you have to make some paper or do paperwork in vietnam with the local police, etc saying that you are both single, signing your intent to marry? Or is just going to Le Dinh Hon party and taking pictures, saving receipts sufficient?

I did nothing more than take pictures and save receipts.

Finally, the family is also worrying about me at their house for months (they want me to stay but everyone is talking, scared, making them stress).... like they must tell the police I am here, but that will cause more problems in my opinion unless I can get proof to show the consulate that I stayed with them. If we go to the police to say I am staying here, can't they also tell me I CAN'T stay here? Did anyone stay in the fiancees family home for more than a month, what did you do about this situation?

The longest stay at my fiancee's house was 26 days. Whenever I stayed with them, regardless of how long the visit, I always filed with the police. I never had a problem. I have no idea if they can say you can't stay there. Provided that all your papers are in order (visa does not expire while you are there), I don't see why they would give you any problems. Maybe at most they might shake you down a little for a small bribe.

I'm still unsure why you think not registering will cause more problems. Do you have hotel receipts or something? (ie, checked in, paid, but didn't stay there?) If they ask for proof of you staying in Vietnam, what will you do? If you lie and say it was at a hotel, but can't produce receipts, that may raise suspicion. If you say you stayed with the family, but didn't register with the local police, that will cause even more problems.

BOTTOM LINE ME: This process starts with the 129 sent to AMERICAN CONSULATE IN AMERICA, right? Has nothing to do with vietnamese in vietnam?

As much as I'd like to say that it's not supposed to have anything to do with Vietnamese in Vietnam, I think that the government has some say in whether Tan can come. The first example that comes to mind is if he's a wanted criminal.

A note of caution, though I'm sure you're already aware of this. No matter how much or how little of an influence the Vietnamese government has on Tan's process, it's best not to ruffle too many feathers. That's not to say you shouldn't stand up for yourself: be firm, but polite. You're a guest in someone else's country. One reason Tan's family may be so worried is because they are breaking their own laws. (At least, I believe police registration is a law.) So even if you are successful at bringing Tan to the United States, they still have to live there.

[b_weeks 6]

Linda,

You are getting engaged, so you dont need to file paperwork before the "Le Dinh Hon". Unless you are going to have live entertainment at the party, then you should get local permission from the local government, so if the music gets loud, then the police can't tell you to shut it down right away. Ours was good til 11pm. When 11pm came, the police were there telling us to shut it down.

You won't need the Letters of Intent to Marry til you file your petition.

Tan will need to get a copy of Police Records from local police. This could take up to a month to get. Also have them translated into english. You might as well get a couple copies. They are good for 6 months.

Make sure he has a valid passport, and should be valid for at least 6 months after he receives his K1 visa.

[ILoveTan 0]

Linda,

You are getting engaged, so you dont need to file paperwork before the "Le Dinh Hon". Unless you are going to have live entertainment at the party, then you should get local permission from the local government, so if the music gets loud, then the police can't tell you to shut it down right away. Ours was good til 11pm. When 11pm came, the police were there telling us to shut it down.

You won't need the Letters of Intent to Marry til you file your petition.

Tan will need to get a copy of Police Records from local police. This could take up to a month to get. Also have them translated into english. You might as well get a couple copies. They are good for 6 months.

Make sure he has a valid passport, and should be valid for at least 6 months after he receives his K1 visa.

Thanks for letting me know... how do I get the permission from the local government? I am sure our party will be noisy as we are having music and karaoke and all..... who should I go see? Tan seems to know LESS about his country than I do. I really know this guy doesnt belong here, he literally seems likes a foreigner in his own country. And yesterday, (for the 5th time) someone asked him what nationality he was. We just stare at them and are like, UH - he's VIETNAMESE. What do you think?!?!?!? Not to mention, that fun question was asked to him after I said out loud "I love you (in vietnamese) and the guy standing nearby goes... "where is that guy from?" Like first off, why would I say I love you in Vietnamese to a non vietnamese and second, it just blows their mind that the white girl loves the viet man. Its my own fault, I hang all over him in a public, kiss him, hug him, bite him... you get the gist. I don't know if they have seen that before... hihihihih hey FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. Anyway, the party is in 2 more days.... he is getting so excited and me too, except they want me to give a speech in vietnamese to a room of 200 viets. No pressure, right??? I speak vietnamese but can you say, INSECURE? Mix me a drink first, bartender. Anywho, its the middle of the night here, back to bed... if you know how to direct me where I go for permission, that would be great! THANKS EVERYONE

Linda

[ILoveTan 0]

p.s.

as an addendum to what I already wrote...I think part of the shock of us together is: Maybe they have seen a foreigner go with a tall, buffed out viet man but not your traditional dark skin farm boy looking one. OH GOD BUT HE IS SO NGON LAM (DELICIOUS).

Can I kill all the people who tell him to get shoes to make him taller and a bra minimizer for me? Everyone and their opinions on what is perfect and how everyone should look. Even the fricken tailor told me that the way I designed his suit wasnt beautiful. I go, I am not paying you to like it, I am paying you to make what I want and what my husband wants for OUR engagement party. I wouldn't even hire a photographer until I made him promise to take pics of us KISSING, DANCING and being CRAZY US.... does Vietnam really need another pic of 2 people standing side by side and not smiling??????

Dad keeps following me around the house making me promise not to talk bad about him at the party. Like I am going to get up on the stage, take the mic and go: Hello, I love Tan, I am so happy to be in Vietnam, thanks for coming to our engagment oh and by the way, Tan's dad is a crazy freak of nature! :-) (which, by the way, he IS - gets drunk and raves around the house screaming Mother-F'er in vietnamese). But if his family wasn't strange, my precious babydoll wouldn't be so unique. They are all changing because of the wacky white girl in their house.... even his super shy, traditional baby sister is now running around in my purple glitter eyeshadow and asking to borrow a hot pink skirt for the engagement party! hahahahaha this girl barely spoke when I arrived here. Grama (cane and all) dances to Michael Jackson. Hihihihihih, The america bug has bitten them and their transformation is almost complete! LOL

And if one more &^%$*&^%*)(*& Mosquito bites me I am going to commit hary cary... who would stay out in the jungle for months if the love wasn't TRUE??? No amount of money is worth this. UGH, plus yesterday, I fricken slammed my finger in the door and its purple. But everyday I am desperate to go home to America, I look at Tan's eyes and am I like how can I leave him for 6-9 months?!?!?!?!?!? I would die for this man.

Linda

OH VJ MEMBERS I WISH YOU COULD COME TO OUR PARTY - WHAT A SHINDING IT WILL BE!!!!!! If you can make it, I will be the one in purple and neon blue dress and spike heels and he will be the one with blue hair and a neon pink tux. :-D hihihihihihihih

[coolgt 0]

as you know people in vietnam believe in all kind of superstitions like u said this is bad that is bad.

just ignore them that is the best solution to all the problem. but if you do ignore them just be careful they

might think of other problems to cause you too hehe

[PeterFB 0]

Linda

Thi and I are back in the US so we can't come but you have to post some pictures of your Le Dinh Hon!!! I hope you have a wonderful party and just imagine all 200 are in the nude when you have to speak!!!

Peter and Thi

I-129F Sent : 2007-05-26

I-129F NOA1 : 2007-06-11

I-129F RFE(s) :

RFE Reply(s) :

I-129F NOA2 : 2007-10-26

Touched: 2007-11-02

NVC Recieved: 2007-11-16

Consulate recieved ??????

Packet 3 sent 2007-12-11

Packet 3 received 2007-12-24

Packet 3 returned 2007-12-28

Packet 4 sent 2008-1-14

Email Reply with Interview Date 2008-1-23

Interview Date 2008-2-27

Passed Interview 2008-02-27

Visa Pick Up Date 2008-3-05

Received Visa 2008-2-29 (called to pick up earlier)

POE 2008-03-05 LAX

Edited March 9, 2008 by PeterFB

[b_weeks 6]

Linda, you crack me so much....

I remember seeing an 11 year old boy that lived across the street from my finace yelling at his Step-mother:

"Troi Oi" "Troi Oi" "Du Ma" "Du Ma"

Please excuse the language for those that understand Vietnamese

I think you can get permission from the local police. It is just a piece of paper giving us permission to have a party outdoors (It was basically right on the street, as we had tables on both the sidewalks, and it ended up blocking the whole street. If you are having the party at a restaurant, then it probably wont be needed. We only needed it for the party the night before the "Le Dinh Hon". The Le Dinh Hon was at her aunt's restaurant which is a huge party hall. She hosts weddings, Engagements, and Birthday parties.

Your speech should be heart felt. As you are now becoming a member of his family. Many Vietnamese people like to gossip. So dont give them anything to gossip about the family...

Many things people do in VN is about saving face. Personally I dont care what people think of me, but I do respect tradition and culture.

I wish Trang and I could be there. She is finally getting over her morning sickness.

When I made my speech, her younger sister translated for me, since I dont speak much Vietnamese. If I recall correctly, my short speech went something like this:

"First I would like to thank everyone for being here to share this vry special occasion with Trang, Myself and her family. I want to thank her parents for raising a beautiful, wonderful, and very loving daughter who I love very much. Lastly I would like to thank her sister Thao and her Husband for introducing me to this wonderful woman (I gesture to Trang). Have fun, enjoy the party, and thank you for coming. Mot.. Hai..Ba..YOOOOO"

Edited March 9, 2008 by b_weeks

[ILoveTan 0]

"Troi Oi" "Troi Oi" "Du Ma" "Du Ma"

Please excuse the language for those that understand Vietnamese

When I made my speech, her younger sister translated for me, since I dont speak much Vietnamese. If I recall correctly, my short speech went something like this:

"First I would like to thank everyone for being here to share this vry special occasion with Trang, Myself and her family. I want to thank her parents for raising a beautiful, wonderful, and very loving daughter who I love very much. Lastly I would like to thank her sister Thao and her Husband for introducing me to this wonderful woman (I gesture to Trang). Have fun, enjoy the party, and thank you for coming. Mot.. Hai..Ba..YOOOOO"

Yes, I understand DU MA :-D And I got really bad yesterday when someone said I shouldn't say CU (#######) so I said, ok, I understand... how about saying CAC (#######) HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I am soooo bad sometimes!! ROI SAO???? SO WHAT??????

My Vietnamese is REALLY good - they think I must be a mix (even though I dont look asian in any way - redhead with freckles ) but I speak like them - its pretty neat. Not sure how I can when I can't speak a word of Spanish and I TRIED to learn it in school.

Yes, I am thinking something like this for my speech - I can say all this in Vietnamese (obviously, I cant say something if I dont know the word yet - I am nowhere near fluent, I just can speak ALOT and with perfect accent so they THINK I am fluent.

"Hello everyone ... I am very happy that you are all here to share the most important day of my life. Alot of people are surprised that an American and a Vietnamese have found love together. Everyone sees Tan and me and sees the differences between us... different countries, different cultures, different traditions. But they don't see what is the same - same thinking, same sense of humor, same heart and same soul. And we love each other, truly. I started learning Vietnamese before I ever met Tan because Vietnamese people have alot of emotions, empathy and feeling. I love their sense of humor. They are special people and I have been all over the world. When I meet vietnamese in america, I love to talk to them and I really fit with them and their personality. Before I met Tan, A psychic told me that in my past life I was Vietnamese and that my soul still remembers that past life. The psychic also said, in this life, I have destiny in Nha Trang, Vietnam. So I went to Nha Trang for the first time, not knowing what I would find. On my second day in this city, I met Tan on the beach. I never imagined I could love someone like I love this man. I will love him forever and try hard to give him the best life I can. I also love and respect his family very much. My family have all passed away, and I am very lonely in America. Tan's family has been like a real family for me, his mother and father are good people, good souls and I am lucky to know them. I know I am not deserving of love like this but I will try to be a person worthy this great gift that God has given me. Thank you all for coming and eat, drink and have fun...."

What do you think? I hope I can remember all that after a few Long Island Ice Teas, hihihihihihi we'll see! Love everybody here at VJ - will probably disappear for a few days to go nuts with Jungle Boy Thanks for all your support!

Linda *STILL CRAZY IN LOVE WITH TAN*