ANYONE REGRETTING THE MOVE TO U.S.A

[Cdn_Ali 11]

This has been an interesting thread & I can relate to so many things. It takes time to get used to a new country. No matter how similar the countries, there will always be little differences - some we will like, other things will annoy us - but with time, we just accept the way things are.

I emigrated from Australia to Canada almost 15 years ago and I'm sure it was torture for my then-husband every time I threatened to move back. One day, about 3 years into our marriage, I said to him 'have you noticed that I've stop threatening to return to Australia?' - it just kind of happened.

Funny thing is, I LOVE Australia and always thought I would move back one day. But I've spent most of my adult life in Canada and feel a greater affinity with this country. I may have an Aussie accent, but I consider myself more Canadian than Australian now. (This was further reinforced when I went back to Australia for 6 weeks at Xmas time and realized it didn't feel like 'home' anymore...although it was wonderful to visit.)

Because I have gone through an immigration process before, I think I have a better understanding of what to expect this time around. It will be a huge change to leave my little B.C. town surrounded by mountains, water and trees, where nothing is more than a 10 minute commute for me, to live in Las Vegas, which seems like such a concrete jungle. It will be my next big adventure and I know it will take time to adjust...and yes, I expect to feel homesick for Canada at times. However, I'm sure I will find things to love about my new adopted country and with time, it will feel like 'home', but I know it won't happen overnight.

[G&A 1]

Its too bad that some people are having a hard time to adjust to being in the USA. Personally, i love love love it here. I dont even want to go back to Canada for a visit. BUT i live 5 minutes from the beautiful beaches of Southern California. I dont have any friends, cant work, we can afford a house, we are on a pretty tight budget, the economy sucks, and our health insurance is costing us an arm and a leg...but i still love it . When i left Canada, i left and never looked back.

thats just me...good luck to others.

[Krikit 1,165]

Its too bad that some people are having a hard time to adjust to being in the USA. Personally, i love love love it here. I dont even want to go back to Canada for a visit. BUT i live 5 minutes from the beautiful beaches of Southern California. I dont have any friends, cant work, we can afford a house, we are on a pretty tight budget, the economy sucks, and our health insurance is costing us an arm and a leg...but i still love it . When i left Canada, i left and never looked back.

Wow. (boldie bit) You're from Fort McMurray, aren't you? Seriously, though.... I think that's nice. You must have been meant to be there.

[Mephys 2]

Its too bad that some people are having a hard time to adjust to being in the USA. Personally, i love love love it here. I dont even want to go back to Canada for a visit. BUT i live 5 minutes from the beautiful beaches of Southern California. I dont have any friends, cant work, we can afford a house, we are on a pretty tight budget, the economy sucks, and our health insurance is costing us an arm and a leg...but i still love it . When i left Canada, i left and never looked back.

thats just me...good luck to others.

I'm sure I'd be in a different mood too... B)I mean Chicago ain't special compared to Montreal, maybe 2-3 degres warmer....

[EmilyandJason 0]

This is an interesting topic! I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and opinions. I haven't left Canada yet but I have spent a great deal of time in the US this past year and I have been (of course) anticipating the move. I thought I'd take the opportunity to post my thoughts on this now ... I'll revisit this later after I've been in the US for a while.

We filed our I-130 in September and due to the receipting delay weren’t able to file the I-129F until January. I am really hoping that the K3 comes through for us as it would be so much faster than waiting for NVC and then Montreal.

My initial thoughts are that no country is perfect and we all (quite naturally) are drawn to what is comfortable and known to us. Nobody likes to feel different … it is also tough to go from a position of independence and confidence in ones’ life to being dependent on another for many of the things we have all taken for granted (as in a base knowledge) in our adult lives.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that I won't feel as competent / confident operating in my new environment. I've spent the last 12 years learning how Canadian society works ... learning what to insure for, how taxes work, how to buy a house, earning a professional designation, how credit works .. etc. etc... and now that all really starts again. Examples include:

- finding out that you basically cannot get 2 million liability (so they tell me) on your auto insurance, here I believe you have to sign off if you want less than 2.5 million

- I don't know the ins and outs of the IRS (I'm a Canadian accountant so this makes me a wee bit uncomfortable)

- I just completed my professional accounting designation last year (after dragging it out for YEARS, working overtime and studying evenings) and now I basically would have to do a CPA to get an equivalent job

- being scared to death of the US medical system

- finding out that when your sister-in-law’s car gets stolen if the thieves trash it and toss it in a lake she has to pay for its removal???? (I don’t know, maybe that would happen here if you didn’t have insurance?)

The other thing that really bothers me is my perceived loss of independence. I’ll have to see how I actually feel once I am there and getting settled into my “new life”. I’ve also been an extremely self-reliant person. I left home at 18 … I never got 1 penny of help from my family, which really sucked at times, but hey, it isn’t like I had a choice. I’m not preaching here .. my point is that when you have no choice but to be self-reliant it actually is very hard to accept help in any form from anyone. The thought of having to rely on my husband for money really freaks me out. I’ve also worked really hard to get where I am in my profession and I feel I am giving that all up, not just by crossing the border, but by starting a family. We are really hoping to start a family (like now), so we have some conflicting ideals going on here, which also just confuses the emotions.

I want to be with my husband more than anything in the world. That moment when you realize that you have been blessed with finding the “right” person for you is worth anything. The idea of spending my life with him completely overrides any feelings of doubt or insecurity I have at leaving my country, my profession, and life the way I knew it.

I also know that my current life is empty … I have no friends in town, my sister is … well a little odd (mostly wrapped up with her own dramas) .. but it still hurts when she “forgets” that I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding! My relationship with my family is a little tense .. so in lots of ways I can’t wait to move. I love Jason’s family and I find spending time with them is not only a lot of fun, but it is also very relaxing.

I think there are lots of things that I will miss, not because any of those things are any “better” than what is available in the US, but I will miss it because it is what I grew up with and is what I know. There are so many differences I have noticed already and I can’t wait to discover more of them! As Canadians we are taught to respect and honour differences between people and cultures. I promise, when I complain about these differences in the future (and I will complain, trust me) I mean no disrespect!

[rhymeswithcandi 0]

its not as if were planning to burn down the white house (again) lol

[rhymeswithcandi 0]

What I sort of find amusing is when talking to some friends--Canadians and Americans, they all say there country is the best, blah blah blah!! Then i ask where they have traveled? they say nowhere!! So how can one say their country is the best? lol Now I have traveled a great deal, and yes I love Canada, but I would have no problems moving to South America, some places in Europe, Australia, even China was cool.

I've always found that amusing too... it would be like saying "apples are my favorite fruit" never having tried any other fruits..

I've traveled a ton and can see good things in a lot of countries... I think for some people it boils down to familiarity.

[rhymeswithcandi 0]

It's tough to see people so unhappy in a country that I love. I just think it's a great place so everyone should want to live here! but when I think about how I'd feel if I had to move to Canada..or anywhere else for that matter...I'd complain about it every chance I got. I love visiting Canada, but I wouldn't want to move there. I feel for all of you who had to leave a country you grew up in, and probably loved just as much as I love mine. Because of this forum I have learned how to empathize with you all instead of taking it personal. I truly am sorry for the heartache you've endured having to uproot your entire lives.

That being said, I would have left the US for my husband in a heartbeat. I would have been very sad and maybe a little resentful, but I would have done it. If the K-1 hadn't worked out, that's what would've happened.

I still think the US is the best country in the world it's my home, after all.

That was a really sweet post! Thanks for not taking anything personally... I don't think anyone means to bash the US. It's just the adjustment to something new that makes it hard.

[Krikit 1,165]

Excellent post, Emily. I relate.

[G&A 1]

Its too bad that some people are having a hard time to adjust to being in the USA. Personally, i love love love it here. I dont even want to go back to Canada for a visit. BUT i live 5 minutes from the beautiful beaches of Southern California. I dont have any friends, cant work, we can afford a house, we are on a pretty tight budget, the economy sucks, and our health insurance is costing us an arm and a leg...but i still love it . When i left Canada, i left and never looked back.

Wow. (boldie bit) You're from Fort McMurray, aren't you? Seriously, though.... I think that's nice. You must have been meant to be there.

LOL fort mac LOL no i am from Edmonton. Dont get me wrong...i love Canada....BUT if you always have in the back of mind that I will one day move back then I will never be happy here. Sure there are things about Cali that I hate BUT there are things that I hate about Canada. I dont know...i think its all about attitude. Nothing is easy in life...and if you keep saying "I wish i was back home" nothing will ever work out. This is what works for me...might not work for everyone.