ANYONE REGRETTING THE MOVE TO U.S.A

[Glady 0]

Well I've been here for 3 months now and despite all my efforts i still do not have a job. Besides a couple meetings with Agency's I'm yet to get an Interview. I want to are there others who are feeling this way. Misery loves company

[Sprailenes 47]

Well...sometimes I do yes.

Other times I am okay with it. I try to always see the brighter side and be positive, but its hard. I miss my mom so much. I miss my family. I don't really have any friends or anything here...as of yet.

There are times where I ask myself if it was all really worth it...and the answer is always yes, but its hard. No one said it was going to be easy. I wish we lived closer to the border.

[Glady 0]

Well...sometimes I do yes.

Other times I am okay with it. I try to always see the brighter side and be positive, but its hard. I miss my mom so much. I miss my family. I don't really have any friends or anything here...as of yet.

There are times where I ask myself if it was all really worth it...and the answer is always yes, but its hard. No one said it was going to be easy. I wish we lived closer to the border.

Miss my mom to and my sisters I had two younger ones who looked up to me for Guidance...

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Well I've been here for 3 months now and despite all my efforts i still do not have a job. Besides a couple meetings with Agency's I'm yet to get an Interview. I want to are there others who are feeling this way. Misery loves company

Glady, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Have you looked at staffing agencies? I was feeling very frustated with the job search and finally the job offer came along though a staffing company. Maybe it can help you too Good luck!

Saludos,

Caro

[Sprailenes 47]

Going from being really independent to not having a job and having to depend on someone else for a few months can really be difficult. Oh man don't I know it. I came to a new place, needed directions just to get to the store, couldn't drive anywhere because I didn't have a valid ID, needed my husband for EVERYTHING.

I don't think anyone but the people who are going through it can understand. We all go through tons of stuff just to get here. I feel so ungrateful sometimes. I waited for that interview, left everything behind for this man that I love and I got down here and the reality of everything sets in, and its hard. I cry way more than a newly married woman should cry

But hey at least we can all cry together right.

[frustrated1 0]

I think we underestimate the transition of moving to another country even though in my case it is only from canada to america which are very similar in so many ways. Granted the culture shock is less but you pretty much start your life from scratch. everywhere you go, you are the 'new' guy, 'i'm new here', you know. you kind of get tired of telling people your story or why you moved.

then you miss your friends and family immensely and it's not easy making new friends in new places.

i joined a gym right away which helped, then I joined the local 'mom's club' to network with other moms with little ones and found a couple of people on my waive length. i still can't work here so i do feel that void but slowly it will all come together...

all in all they say it takes 2+ years before you feel like it's your home.

[Mephys 2]

Its gonna be a year that I am here in 1 month ( wow where did time go)

All in all, I miss my family, my friends, my favorite food from home, etc.

Took me 8 months to get a job, handfull of months to settle in the area and be independent to go to the store and know where to go, etc.

It's not easy at all. I think we all underestimate the transition. I thought it would be easy but I was wrong.

One thing though, every night, when the last thing I see before I close my eyes is my husband, I cherish the life I have here. It's hard, but it could be worst. I could be back in Canada alone. All the rest is just material.

And having a VERY supportive husband is the key. He is there to pick me up when I feel down.

[Reba 2]

3 months isn't a very long time to get settled anywhere! Give yourself some more time before you start thinking about packing up and going back home! Sheesh, even I didn't start thinking that til I was here a year or so!

[Carlawarla 1]

She's not thinking of packing up and going home...she's wondering if they couldn't move to another state since housing is so much in NJ.

[tammy2688 1]

Well I've been here for 3 months now and despite all my efforts i still do not have a job. Besides a couple meetings with Agency's I'm yet to get an Interview. I want to are there others who are feeling this way. Misery loves company

Hello,

3 months isn't a long time at all, do not think about it so much. Keep trying for jobs and have your eyes and ears open, coming from a family of foreigners living in US for 13 years, I have seen people rise through perserverence. I have petitioned for my husband to immigrate here, he has yet to get security clearance. He thinks about getting a job here as well. I tell him the same thing, that you have an equal chance as anyone, keep that in mind despite the disadvantages of not being entirely fluent or have experience here. Be positive, you may get into a good job into your 6 month mark, 3 months is no time, try and enjoy the country, get acquainted with the city, etc. Go to Human Resources, apply for jobs at banks, libraries, hospitals, office type work, etc. You are bound to get in somewhere, and during the mean time you can continue your hunt for your true passions. There are graduates here who have no jobs...thats one reason I am a true believer that you will get a job with God's blessings, just keep your faith and never give up.

Tammy

[Sprailenes 47]

3 months isn't a very long time to get settled anywhere! Give yourself some more time before you start thinking about packing up and going back home! Sheesh, even I didn't start thinking that til I was here a year or so!

I don't think she's thinking of packing up and going home. I think we all have these days though where we feel the way the OP does. Its how they feel, doesn't matter how long they've been here.

[Glady 0]

3 months isn't a very long time to get settled anywhere! Give yourself some more time before you start thinking about packing up and going back home! Sheesh, even I didn't start thinking that til I was here a year or so!

I don't think she's thinking of packing up and going home. I think we all have these days though where we feel the way the OP does. Its how they feel, doesn't matter how long they've been here.

I think you capture exactly what i feel. Of course I have no intensions at the meoment of packing and going. I have a 9 month old child. IS just that I underestimated the fact that it was a different country. I have been a frequent visitor to the US for the last 10 years but visiting and living is different and that was what I under estimated. Plus the Job thing really troubles me. I had a great job in Canada that paid very well and the work was exciting. Thanks for all the encouragement.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I do understand and know exactly what you mean. Even though the US is Canada's neighbour and we grew up being able to visit regularly, visiting is not the same as 'living', along with the restrictions placed upon you by USCIS and various levels of government (ie. driver's licences, SSN, etc.). It is also very very difficult to find yourself suddenly totally dependent on another person even though you love him, especially after you have been used to being independent and responsible for your self, financially and in all ways.

It will take some time to make that new niche for yourself. I used to get so frustrated going out driving and getting lost because I still hadn't re-oriented my sense of direction and I would head west rather than south! (It also helps that the topography is hilly and the roads don't go straight anywhere, hehehe). I found that keeping in touch with my friends on line helped provide a sense of continuity. My husband certainly helped by getting me a car very quickly so I wasn't 'confined' to the house only. I was able to drive on my Canadian license until my EAD came through which helped immensely. I brought my cats with me and they certainly provided me with a strong sense of continuity. It took a while to find a job and that was only part time, but through it I met some women who are now friends and am re-building a local personal support group.

I will have been here 4 years this May and I feel very much at home here now and not noticing the differences every time I turn around. The first 2 years, though, were definitely ones of acclimatization. Good luck - it will get better and better each day. One of the other things that I found really nice was when my Canadian friends came to visit. Perhaps one of them might be able to come down and visit you in your new home? Surprisingly, it really does help.

Edited March 3, 2008 by Kathryn41

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Hey Glady! Another way to look at it is.....if you were at home in Canada, you would probably still be on maturnity leave, right? Getting EI....homefully you're still getting it while here, correct? Other then being close to family (of course you're near your husband now ...but he can't be the substitute for everything ) Of course the other caveat is that your ob would be waiting for you at teh end of maturnity leave.

I've been here just shy of 4 months....got my EAD approval at 3 months, and just received the hardcopy EAD & AP and then the GC a week later...kind of silly, but oh well...so they're slow. I'm finding things are looking up now that those have arrived, essentially nothing has changed (I've only just started apply for jobs in my field)...but a little weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I feel slightly more 'legal' if you will

With a baby, you obviously have little or no time to do some of the stuff most of us are doing to fill our time....you have a full time job already!! Is there a Moms & tots kind of group you could maybe go to at the community centre or a Mom and baby exercise class if you're into that? I have a teenager, but I wish I had a littler one so that I would have the possiblity of contact with other moms while dropping her off at school or whatever.

Don't underestimate the power of the move...no matter how similar you'd think Canada and the US are, missing the familiarity of home is powerful

3 months isn't a very long time to get settled anywhere! Give yourself some more time before you start thinking about packing up and going back home! Sheesh, even I didn't start thinking that til I was here a year or so!

I don't think she's thinking of packing up and going home. I think we all have these days though where we feel the way the OP does. Its how they feel, doesn't matter how long they've been here.

I think you capture exactly what i feel. Of course I have no intensions at the meoment of packing and going. I have a 9 month old child. IS just that I underestimated the fact that it was a different country. I have been a frequent visitor to the US for the last 10 years but visiting and living is different and that was what I under estimated. Plus the Job thing really troubles me. I had a great job in Canada that paid very well and the work was exciting. Thanks for all the encouragement.

[Sprailenes 47]

The first few months was the hardest for me. But even now I am here it's still really difficult. I don't think it gets any easier, you just find better ways of dealing with it....like wine...wine helps everything.

KIDDING! hehehe.